The Mandarin

You guys want closed captioning goodness? I'll keep an eye out for the next "Smaffles" or "goirk".

Who are you, sweetie?

I AM MARKING OUT WITHOUT ASTERISKS

PREVIOUSLY, ON RAW. Garrison Cade: Yeah, my dad works here at this there car dealership now. Benoit: Who's that man your dad is kissing? *Benoit and Benjamin look at eachother in puzzlement. Garrison has a shocked look on his face* Garrison: Dad? Pat Patterson: Lance?! Oh no. Brooklyn Brawler: Jesus Christ.

Mindy: "Okay, I love you, bye bye!" *marks* Now if somebody had have made a Good Thing, Bad Thing reference or eluded to CHICKEN F'n BOO, I would have gone into cardiac arrest.

Don't tell me what the best quotes from a movie are. I want the ones that you actually use. So erase those R. Lee Ermey answers now. .. If you didn't, then you must offend a great deal of people. BTW, it can be just one line. Anyways, I must have said "My love is real, but I am not" millions of times (not really), but I'd go with Fargo on account of it's easy to speak in the accent, yah. Honorable mentions to anything Dustin Hoffman said from Rain Man. Well, it's those or Mabel's Busy Day.

Lillian: Mari--uh, Stacy, just tell me what you're feeling. Stacy: You want to know how I'm feeling? Huh? Do you? Arrrrrrrrgggggghhhh! Arrrrrggghhhh!

Benoit: A'right. Wrestling roll call. Chris Benoit. FOR REAL. Benjamin: C'mon, now, whaddya doin'. There's just the two of u-- Benoit: Shhh. Say your name. Benjamin: *sigh* Mister Benjam'n. Benoit: Alright, now that we're done roll call, today's topic-- spandex. Yay or nay? Cool Kid Christian: Hey peeps. Is this the wrestling club meeting? Benoit: Uh--uh, yeah.

Was "Du Hast" on the list? Don't tell me that was metal. The ending was a cell phone ringtone sample.

"'Do you really want to huuurrrt meeee?' Come back, hockey."

HOLY TAPDANCING JESUS

You've really got to stop.

OH JESUS LOOK WHAT I DID ..purposefully.

Now I'm not ordering the replay.

So what was the new finish?

I'm watching the Heat replay. I thought Coach had to wear a dress for a month?

Straight up. Interesting fact: Tom Sizemore was also a Michael (Cheritto) in another great film, Heat. Obvious fact: He was the showstealer both times.

Not me. I can't think of one match on the card anyone in their right mind would pay to see. Edit: Well, I like Christian's character and Shelton Benjamin is a good wrestler. Unfortunately, Christian is a boring wrestler and Shelton Benjamin has no character. It still is the most intriguing match on the card, at least for me.

WHAT IS GOING ON

Official Fantasy League WWE Survivor Series Preview, brought to you by TSM and Invision Power Board. Tonight's main event of JBL vs. Booker T could see Real F'n Show pick up 20 points for a JBL victory or a huge 25 point gain for G_Money if Booker was to pick up the W. Heidenreich vs. Undertaker is a 15 point battle between Zack Malibu and King Cucaracha. For the IC Title, we've got Steviekick's Shelton defending vs. Real F'n Show's Christian. Show, Steviekick and G_Money will be teaming up to take on Zack Malibu, King Cucaracha and uh, Steviekick in Raw's classic Elimination match. G_Money, Zack Malibu and King (2x) will be duking it out with The Voice, King, G_Money and Real F'n Show in the Smackdown 4 on 4. Steviekick will earn 20 points if Trish can retain her title vs. Lita tonight. And King, Zack and Real F'n Show will all sponsor a man (not named Chavo Guerrero) in the Cruiserweight Title 4 way dance tonight. It all happens..tonight on Survivor Series! Call your cable provider and tell them that you're not going to order because I'll have results 15 minutes after the show ends! Cheers, mates.

Yeah, it's not going to look as sleek as normal because I've got limited time and don't want to do any tagging.

You should have made a compilation of Dames reviews, you silly, silly man.

We all know what they're ("they" being WWE creative and the McMahons) doing wrong. WHY are they doing it wrong? Obviously, none of us know them personally, but one could guess what's going on in their heads. So start making assumptions. If you'll recall, the rule of the outspoken- your assumption may be wrong, but keep persisting until it is seen as truth. Have at it. My assumption: I think the writing is bad because the wrong people are being hired. This is because the management can't see past the Hollywood credentials.

He was upset because she was getting fat Period removed for effect

For a match (in recent times), SummerSlam 2002 for Rock vs. Brock. The vignettes were incredible, showing the training methods for both guys. Haven't been topped since. As a show, I'd go with WrestleMania X-7. You knew it was going to be great before the event. X-8 could have been the same, but Stephanie McMahon ruined everything and other than Rock vs. Hogan, nothing was important.