The Mandarin

The best wrestling team is obviously Stampede, no questions asked, but I'm loving Minnesota and Texas. Texas for obvious reasons (minus Kerry von Erich-- Guerrero was a way better drug-riddled wrestler), but Minnesota has the awesome charisma duo of Rude and Hennig that bring back nothing but good memories. You've got Brock Lesnar who is incredible, and of course, the Road Warriors up the bad-ass level by 10. If Texas and Minnesota were to go head to head, I'd like to see: Rick Rude vs. Eddie Guerrero Curt Hennig vs. Steve Austin Brock Lesnar vs. Terry Funk LOD vs. Kerry von Erich/Ted DiBiase in a cage

So obviously WWE spends loads of dolla-dolla bills on marketing their oft-craptastic product in certain areas, to sometimes certain groups of people. Well, they concentrate on some more than others, but really: they'll take any fans they can get. So let's discuss their tactics in your area, what they're doing right, what they're doing wrong, and what needs to be done. My points. WWE, Viewer's Choice and Famous Players teaming up is a good thing. They shill and shill and shill the PPVs (commercials, radio ads, billboards-- I saw a billboard with Hogan, Rock and Trish on it once). WWE Experience is not entertaining, BUT it's good they're introducing this profane and occasionally disgusting company to young children. I remember I got hooked on WWF Superstars. Also, it's good that they're showing WWE figure commercials because that's the kind of shit you show children who are in their parents' pockets. They should have an extra commercial for Raw, though, showing the Classic Superstars figures for the older kids. You put the Classic Superstars commercial on Experience, it will do nothing. ("Look kids! Hot commodity, Tito Santana!") WWE has killed off the Latinos. Just last year, this was a HOT market for SmackDown. Eddie, Chavo, Rey should still have a lot more focus on them than there is now, because there's still interest (although it's been slowly dying ever since Bradshaw murdered him). What the shit is Power Pasta? More to come, I'm multi-tasking.

Eh, what the hell. Triple H vs. Benoit (XX) vs. Booker T (XIX) vs. Chris Jericho (X8) vs. Owen (XIV) vs. Undertaker (X-7) vs. Rock, Show, Foley (2000) vs. Goldust (XIII) vs. Kane (XV) vs. Warrior (XII) Big Bossman

I'll start off by naming a wrestler, then you have to order his or her WrestleMania matches from favorite to least favorite. I'll start off by ranking The Rock's. WrestleMania X-7 (vs. Austin) WrestleMania X-8 (vs. Hogan) WrestleMania XX (w/ Foley vs. Evolution) WrestleMania XIX (vs. Austin) WrestleMania 2000 (vs. Triple H, Foley and Show) WrestleMania XV (vs. Austin) WrestleMania XIV (vs. Shamrock) WrestleMania XIII (vs. Sultan) Hulk Hogan

Did you sleep last night?

Before you go, Mr. Woolery, I have to ask-- what became of your reality show? And I'm not big on Sizzlechest. Can you come up with a few more?

SummerSlam 2002, WrestleMania XIX and WrestleMania XX are my three favourites of the past few years, but several of the PPVs of 2001 smoke 'em.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- ****/**** Still a classic. I cared more about the Lacuna Inc. staff on my second viewing, but they still don't compare to Joel and Clementine. Great chemistry there. Jim Carrey works wonders in any film.

Hot tip: We're not counting the RoH pre-shows

-500. 2004 PWI 500 ($6.95, 70 pages, 25, N/A) This year's PWI 500 is a bust ... Found today in a local supermarket ... Easily the least detailed PWI 500 of all time ...No "full" biographies on numbers 2-10 (or 20)... Chalk it up to being busy with the 25th Anniversary Book, but it's still a disappointment ... Didn't buy it for the first time in eight years ... I miss WOW Magazine.

There's too many scenes to name from The Shining, but here's a couple- The conversation about cannibals on the way to the Overlook Jack going to the bar for the first time Jack and Delbert conversing in the bathroom Wendy finding Scatman Crothers' body The ending sequences.

They should have RVD come in at 4, get eliminated, and come back in at 20.

You should only have 40 points, sorry. That's what I get for tallying whilst I'm tired. EDIT: I see where I went wrong. I got distracted while tallying up the last Xplosion points and then added points that I had already counted. So Zach, G_Money and Voice all lose points. But it's not that much. Honest.

Scores updated. G_Money's cleaning up.

Well, we know it's not the Kool-Aid Man.

Super Size Me- 9/10 Excellent documentary with some big laughs (kids don't recognize Jesus). THIS is why I don't eat fast food.

You're right. I suggested a name change to Zack Malibu last week, but he talked me out of it. I was thinking "Waingro", "Nose Candy" or "Devil's Muzak", but now I'm REALLY leaning towards "Rodney King is Sex".

I emjot ABOBO.

Updated scores, homies. The Voice is certainly gonna make some points tomorrow.

I recommend Miracle Pets.

Here's next week's preview. Eventually he works a picture of Sable at the 1997 Slammies in there too.

This preview has been pre-empted in your area.

Falling Down- 2/10 Awful. Just awful. I can't believe it got such a high rating on IMDB. Not funny as a comedy, not intense as a thriller, and too cheesy to be a drama.