The Mandarin

Phil Collins never drove anybody to suicide, it's just an urban legend.

Just when we hadn't had too many of these stories in a while.. Man kills dog with sword. Asshole.

I wasn't. They'd just beat me with sticks when I wouldn't shut up.

Being an internet fan, I hear of constant reports of wrestlers exercising their "backstage power". Locker room leaders like Undertaker and Kurt Angle seem to have a lot of this and use it, while wrestlers such as Rob Van Dam and other lower card workers do not and are often subsequently buried. What does it take to have backstage power? One would assume that you have to have good relations with top dogs in the company, you have to be WWE born and raised, and if you really want to be a head honcho, you have to be 300 pounds and have played some college football. Screwing the boss's daughter doesn't hurt either. So what do we know about backstage politics? Not as much as we'd like to think. But we do know that it may be a factor into today's product. So in this diary, I will guess what tactics were used that shaped or modified the happenings of this week's TV tapings while adding my own dialogue to some of the situations. Additional backstage meetings that may or may not have any outcome on the product will be thrown in as well. I'll also assign star ratings to the politics, a DUD being no power exercised at all, ***** being "ABUSE OF POWER! WOO! ABUSE OF POWER! ABUSE OF POWER! WOOOO!" as Ric Flair would like to say. Here's the current roster. I assigned "hand sizes" to everyone. The higher the number, the more power you command. All of this is reflecting what we see on television, so don't be suprised if someone's hand value goes up during their subsequent TV push. First "show" up soon.

Daredevil is really cheap at Wal-Mart now (under $9, I think). What happened?

Now for something completely different.

Dude, I'm like, too busy (see: lazy) to update this on a continuous basis. I will throw in the odd show from time to time. But don't let this die yet~! If you guys want to get your kicks in by writing "segments" for different shows (aka. writing what happened backstage after Chavo got injured or how Vince McMahon is suddenly "fond" of Hiroko), that would be super cool. Here's some ideas: -Rene Dupree pisses off the brass by doing the French Tickler. -Heidenreich goes nuts..again. -Undertaker doesn't feel it. -Diva Search contestants bicker. -HBK leads another wrestler to being a born-again Christian. -A rookie forgets to shake hands with Droz; buried for six years.

Favorites- Hogan bodyslamming Andre Steve Austin winning at WMXIV Steve Austin joining forces with Vince McMahon at X-7 Hogan hulking up at WMX8 Chris Benoit winning the title at WMXX Least Favorites- The main event being DQ'd at WMVIII Yokozuna beating Bret at WMIX Diesel winning at WMXI Shawn Michaels beating Bret at WMXII Kane and RVD only making it to HeAT at WMXIX

When did Raw start airing on TSN?

Obviously, audience participation plays an important role in wrestling. Well, to everybody but the deaf guys. Chants are a way for the crowd to voice their opinion. "Asshole", "where's my pizza?" and "she's a crackwhore" are some of the more classier ones. So what's your opinion on them? Don't care? Enjoy? Find them disrespectful (depending on the type of chant)? Personally, I'm pro-"Boring" under the right circumstances. I'll give a match some time before deeming it dull. I also like to join in on the Goodbye Song but ONLY if it's a fan being ejected. And for some reason, I've ALWAYS wanted to try to get the crowd to join me in a rousing rendition of "New York, New York" or the theme from Fresh Prince. ..I've never actually tried to start it, though. I'm such a pussy.

I don't know HOW people can get off to that "anime" character crap, with the girls having basically no noses and eyes taking up 3/4 of their heads and breasts double that size.

I chewed two tablets of Children's Grape Tylenol once. At the same time. ..I'M HARDCORE.

Don't wanna invade your topic, ISportsFan, but I'd like to get into RoH as well and I'm wondering what are some of the best Samoa Joe matches?

"*hic* I've knoown yoooou for TWENTER YEEEAHS and *hic* this is whatcha dooo to me.."

Batista, no doubt. Rene Dupree is up there too. His match against RVD on the pre-Summerslam HeAT was great. I'd also nominate Samoa Joe as well. Nobody touches Batista, though. That guy went from generic hoss to generic hoss- with an attitude and a clothesline! (Batista is so swank. )

Jesus is coming! Jesus Castillo of the Los Boricuas! Quick, everybody look busy!

Rebuttal: Haha, you guys. Bradshaw never became champion. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go live in denial and talk to my thirty-seven cats, all named "Precious".

After reading the enormous amount of hysterical RVD quotes in this thread, I've completely changed my tune about him. Not only is he actually passable on the mic, but he's the best delivery man in the history of the business. This is the best I could find that hasn't yet been mentioned: RVD interrupting John Cena at RR the next year was gold as well.

Mark Briscoe vs. Homicide is my most anticipated match. Hey, Foley's gonna be there, right?

I don't e-fed, but I have to commend Zack on "Get that man some Icy-Hot!"

Moby- Natural Blues Moby- Ah-Ah Moby- New Dawn Fades Moby- God Moving Over the Face of the Waters The Pixies- Where is My Mind?

You know, New Dawn Fades by Moby would work perfectly for Randy. Hell, I'd rather seen it given to a better wrestler. Any of Moby's work- gold. But this isn't the music folder.

I wouldn't do it, personally. I could never get wrapped up in their affairs. "Giving them advice" sounds awful, knowing at least one of them will probably drag you into something somehow, may it be with other kids at the camp or something at home. You shouldn't be responsible for their problems if you're just looking for a job and not a trained mental therapist. I'm sure there are lots more opportunities that will come your way.

Sweet. Best ECW matches ever. The one where Tanaka wins the title is likely the best match of '99. Edited: Well, it's better than anything WWF did in '99. It may not be better than the Owen Tribute, though.

Sweet. I was looking forward to this show and I usually buy EW anyways.