The Mandarin

Funny thing is, that fan, "Mike on Crack", was at last night's UWA show. He hopped a barricade to fight Josh Prohibition.

Bishop tearing open Osiris' shirt during a slugfest only to continue forearming him in the face was hilarious. I think he's going to run into a lot of problems as a heel. His babyface performance against Steen back in October was fantastic, and the only good-to-great match I've seen him have. You missed a CZW Jr. Heavyweight Title defense by Niles Young against two jobbers in a terrible match.

Yeah, usually I'm concerned with "chanting ettiquette" too, but not tonight. This is mainly because I had possibly the loudest human being in the whole building screaming into my ear the entire evening. It might have been two people, actually, but they both said the exact same mindless shit ("BURGER KING EDDIE") to the point where I couldn't separate their voices. It would have been a relief to hear dueling chants over "SELLOUTSELLOUTSELLOUT" and "THAT WAS MAGIC", which is what I heard the whole night (how do they do it?) due to my proximity to the offenders. Fucking shit. And what the fuck was up with Nick Watts stomping some fan's chest anyway? That was almost as ridiculous as Prohibition slugging a guy right in the face in retaliation for being slightly pushed.

Good show. Best match was probably Petey Williams showing up to take on Josh Prohibition in a really hot contest. It was really nicely booked as Petey teased the Destroyer on Josh but didn't hit it and then lost to a cheap roll-up, then was about to attack Prohibition after the match and was unable to do it. I was worried that Prohibition would do the job two months in a row and that the promotion would blow their wad on Petey Williams in his first match (just as they did for Jerry Lynn, who got much less of a reaction at this show), but it didn't happen. Fantastic. However, if you like getting involved in the action, then you got KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT tonight. Super Dragon's "shoot monkey flips" are catching on because I watched at least two fans get punched square in the face tonight in retaliation. Even Jeff Flurry got his shots in on one guy. One of the night's most disgusting moments (other than Larry Sweeney working for-ev-er with his ass hanging out) would have been that African-American gentleman spitting BLOOD at Chris Hero. Rudo, I await your writeup on this. Sorry I didn't reply to your massive report last time, but I thought it was pretty much spot on regarding UWA's shitty, repetitive booking.

JBL? That fucking sucks. I'd rather see Trevor Murdoch fight RVD in the main event than JBL. He will slow RVD down to a degree where the crowd will boo both men out of the building. JBL even gave Benoit a boring-as-shit match at WrestleMania that was less entertaining than select matches from the Booker T/Benoit rivalry (hard to do). Unless JBL uses shortcuts (blading, weapons), an RVD/JBL match would be a disaster.

I wouldn't mind Sexxxy Eddy vs. Necro Butcher and Darkstone vs. Super Dragon, should they ever make the trip with Hero (providing he comes back). No Claudio Castagnoli sucks. Screw you, ROH.

I think God already turned heel on Michaels at last year's Summerslam, because he was constantly bumping for nobody during the main event.

My comment that doesn't warrant a thread: JBL vs. Cena at JD is better than JBL vs. Eddie at JD. Although I haven't watched the Eddie match in many moons, I'd argue that to the death. I'll try and get a copy of the match if anybody wants to debate.

Re: SmackDown announcers getting DVDs (I think this was mentioned)-- They need to do a DVD of all the times Tazz has taken off his glasses. Each chapter would contain both the act itself and the incident leading up to it. You could also do a fantastic "Best of SmackDown" set even if you're only including matches where Cole uses "Damnit, he stole one!" at the finish. (Hint: That's all of them.) "Sounds Like A Senior Citizen with his Balls in a Vice: The Josh Matthews Collection" is also a possibility.

After listening to Hot Rocks several times through recently, I've decided that I very much dislike "Time is on My Side" but really enjoy "Heart of Stone". Make of that what you will.

Considering they wanted to call Bret's DVD "Screwed", I have a feeling if Owen gets his own well-deserved set, it'll be titled "The Rise and Fall of the Blue Blazer".

I'd like a kayfabed documentary about the life of those involved in pro wrestling. Like, we get to watch Snitsky pick up his purse for winning at the window; or see Kurt Angle go home and complain to his wife about that fucking Rey Mysterio.

The movie is about the duality of Jennifer Esposito's tits man.

Fixed.

I perused Claude Simon's Georgics yesterday, succeeded by The Art of War and Mishima's drab The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With The Sea, before beginning Paul Rusesabagina's autobiography. I also smoked cigarettes and enjoyed the music of Tom Waits as I changed my MySpace display name to a verse from a Neutral Milk Hotel song.

Foley vs. Edge; I haven't seen Undertaker vs. Angle. Despite hearing many good things about SmackDown, I haven't seen an episode before they did their year-end special. Haven't seen that much RAW either.

I've seen bits and pieces of it. Can someone tell me why you have to see Bill Paxton's ass so frequently? I mean, really.

The best selling in the HHH/Michaels match from SummerSlam 2002 came from Jim Ross. He was absolutely fantastic. Probably one of the top moments of his career.

Muhammad Ali (current)- I took two picks for this because I'd like to see him attempt to punch me first. I'd slowly lean to the right after about five seconds and just slug him upside the head. Then I'd stand over his body and deliver some awful line like "Float like a butterfly, fall over like a tree" or "Stop shaking" or something. Nothing against him though; I'd just want to say I knocked out "The Greatest". Howie Mandel- Only if he asked me "Deal or no deal?" first, would I take a swing. Liev Schriber- Yo, get off Naomi Watts. Bono- Only rule is he has to be wearing glasses. I'd also enjoy punching Gus Van Sant (after making him wait for an hour and a half with little buildup or action).

OHHH shit that must have hurt.

Masters enunciates like a woman.

This is major build-up for the PPV return of Chuck Norris.

The heat for CM Punk vs. Austin Aries was over the top. Really loud audience. Magnum TA vs. Blanchard: I Quit Cage Match was pretty heated. Slaughter vs. Shiek at MSG (with probably the best finish I've ever seen) also got a NUCLEAR crowd reaction.

It sure would be.

"Dad? Juvi?!?"