The Mandarin

So Undertaker set the fire that was supposed to kill Kane, correct? And Kane made it out unscathed? Way to blow the spot, Mark.

It's no wonder obesity can lead to depression. EDITED: I worded it incorrectly.

vs. William Regal- Pillman Memorial OR vs. 2 Cold Scorpio- Superbrawl

I've decided to watch it now that they've gotten past the reality show crap. Didn't like any of the sets-- until Alonzo's. What was I missing? That was hilarious. I'll tune in next week. EDIT: I called them "sketches"? They were sets, not sketches. I must have had a mild stroke.

He's a loose cannon.

I KNEW I should have been validated. Who do you plan on voting for this year? Remember, La Parka's always an option.

Any specific parts I should get taken care of? Do I really need that nose job?

What do you think I look like? ...er, uh, white bread or whole wheat?

Good episode tonight, but why would Austin eliminate Cammy? We're supposed to thing he has the hots for her. Either way, I'm happy with the results. Must say I was sad to see Gerald go. Also, Bryce snapping was CRAZY. Great (yet overexaggerated) acting there.

Till Death Do Us Part looks awful, but the upside is I'm gonna see Benoit vs. Orton, DAVE(!) vs. Jericho vs. the other guy, and Kurt freakin' Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero. HHH vs. Eugene could be good as well. Throw in Flair vs. Regal and John Cena vs. Booker T and that is one badass card. T-Minus 40 minutes until Schmo.

My suggested "Kane the Gentleman" angle was way better.

Bryce the Stalker plays a WAY better psychotic heel than Triple H.

Go to the house with no knob and type take rock. Then type "use baby". Take the robe and go to the inkeeper's house. Then type "get a room". Then, when you wake up, type "take pot" or "reach top shelf" or something. Then, once your head is doused in flammable stuff, go out the door, go down and your head will be caughteth on fire if you go straight through the lantern. Then talk to the guy and he'll let you in. Then go up the mountain, etc. Anyways, the ending is pretty funny. I got 140 of 150 points and was missing the map and two other things (I think). EDIT: Sorry if this is too late, but I forgot to tell you to show the baby to the innkeeper and he'll give you pills you need for the end. My bad.

What am I supposed to do about that naked guy in the tree?

..mask? And what the hell is it that the baby dropped? I ain't seein' nothin'. Also, if you haven't tried it yet, throw the chicken seed at the guy fishing (he'll open the Inn).

Anyone beaten Peasant's Quest yet? I sure haven't.

Story was just on Inside Edition. Supposedly her kids wanted to work at the circus too. Jeez.

Man, I can't even imagine how many times I've said "1-2-no" while writing a match review. Oh yeah, might as well offer an option as to the next Benoit bout: vs. Al Snow- Double Tables or vs. Eddie Guerrero- Nitro, 1995

Royal Rumble 2003. One badass match.

5'11, 139. I have NO muscle at all in my arms..it's just bones. I'm planning on starting a weightlifting schedule, though.

I remember I used to pound away those Hungryman Salisbury Steaks as a SNACK before dinner before I realized they were better suited feeding an entire tribe of Africans.

So I assume wrestlers kissing you at WWE events is exclusive to the SmackDown brand now?

The few first commercials were cute, but that was AWFUL.