JoeDirt

We've had triple threat matches at Wrestlemania, No Way Out (for title shot), Armageddon, Unforgiven (IC title), and Vengeance. We're going to have a second straight triple threat main event at Backlash. Anyone else want to see them go back to one on one title matches for a while after this month? (Especially on RAW)

WWE house show report 4-10 Ames by Cris Groves Easter weekend in a college town really hurt the # of fans in attendenace I think. There were less people tonight at Hilton than there was at Vets in Des Moines, IA back in Jan.of this year....onto the show (matches may be out of order) 1.) Rico w. Miss Jackie vs. Stamboli w. Nunzio----Hot crowd behind Rico for the opening match....on the outside Nunzio kisses Jackie but later in the match she gets even by slapping Stamboli across the face & Rico pulls him backwards down across his knees for 1-2-3. ---Torrie Wilson comes out and says r we ready for a hot show....Smackdown GM Kurt Angle makes the save & tells Torrie to get the hell out of his ring & she does after she moons the crowd.....Angle says Dudleys had a mtahc for the Tag Titles tonight but he's axing it since here at smackdown you have to show the GM respect....out come Dudleys and then theyre attacked from behind by Billy Kidman and Paul London 2.) Dudleyz vs. Kidman/London....I didnt know Kidman and London were heels now where the heck have I been? Hot tags between Kidman & London while working on Dvon until he makes the tag to Bubba.....3d eventually on London for the 3 count. 3.) Billy Gunn vs. Horseshoe----Gunn got his ass kicked until he hit the fameasser for the 3 count. Crowd really got behind chanting "Horseshit" a few times. -Theodore R. Long comes out saying behind every good white man is a black man etc. gets all his lines in.... 4.) Jindrak w. Long vs. Orlando Jordan-----Jordan looked a lot better in the ring than the last time I saw him on smackdown he could be something if he got his face on TV. Jindrak wins. 5.) Triple Threat Crusierweight Title: Chavo w. Chavo Sr. vs. Spike vs. Noble-------Noble was sporting new tights that were purple with some black design on the sides....Chavo got Noble to side with him until turning on him. Spike gets thrown to the outside for the 2nd time & is out while Chavo rolls up Noble & holds on to Chavo Sr's Hands for an assist & the win to retain the title. 6.) WWE Tag Titles: Rikishi/Scotty vs. Bashams----Scotty slaps Rikishi on the ass a couple times & then gets beat by the bashams until he makes the hot tag to Rikishi....Rikishi goes for the stinkface but the Bashams switch out of the corner & Rikishi receives low blow but then Scotty actually applies the worm followed by a Rikishi kick for the 3 count.....They grab a young boy from front row and they dance in the ring including the boy doing his own worm then Scotty tells the kid to sit in the corner which he does....Scotty tries to get Rikishi to give the boy a stinkface Rikishi teases doing it but eventually just waves bye bye to him....VERY FUNNY segment! ---Intermission--- 7.) RVD vs. Haas (wore black trunks)----Got in all the moves and RVD won with the Frogsplash.....Great RVD houseshow match as usual like the previous 5 times he's been here...always shines high....Both men got standing ovation when they both left. ----GM Kurt Angle comes out saying tonight Cena puts US Title up against Dupree & Eddie takes on LBJ, JBL & Eddie won't leave Iowa with the title, Kurt will make sure of it....out comes Dawn Marie saying she hasnt had a job since Heyman left...says she could rub Kurts shoulders & buff his medals etc. & says she respects Angle unlike Torrie Wilson....out comes Torrie & the catfight begins...they roll ontop of Angle during it & he doesnt mind at all & neither would I.....Torrie eventually rips Dawn's pants off showing that she was wearing a pink thong....Dawn runs away & Torrie leaves with her pants as Angle says the main event starts now...... 8.) US Title: Cena vs. Dupree(wearing purple robe).-----Cena comes out and does his shtick & out comes Dupree. Dupree says children should look to him as a role model not John Cena.....Cena gets crowd to chant "Rene is gay" & Dupree leaves and gets counted out.....Cena said the fans came to see Cena kick some ass so he teased FUing Brian Hebner & had him up on his shoulders until Dupree came back but then got FUed by Cena. 9.) WWE Championship: Eddie vs. Bradshaw, JBL----JBL said he was tired of having to pay more taxes for illegals etc....& thw crowd was behind him until he said the state of Iowa just sux. JBL said once he wins the title tonight he will never come back to defend it in Iowa....out comes Eddie in a bad looking lowrider.....Most of the match was JBL with a arm hook on Eddie and after 2 1/2 hrs crowd was losing interest.....JBL hits the clothesline from hell but only gets a 2count......Eddie then hits frogsplash for only a 2 count! No one could believe it.....ref bump on Hebner & out comes GM Kurt Angle...Angle tossed the championship belt in for JBL but Eddie ends up using it on JBL instead....Hebner comes to as Eddie tosses the title to Angle and falls down.......Angle quickly tosses the belt high in the air out of the ring....Hebner gets Angle out of the ring and Eddie scoots over onto JBL for the 3 count.... -----Eddie thanked the fans for coming out to support him and the wwe especially on Easter weekend & wished everyone a Happy Easter to close the show Biggest POPS: Cena, Scotty/Rikishi, Angle, Eddie, Rico, RVD Biggest HEAT: Dupree, JBL, Horseshit I mean Horseshoe, FBI, Angle(just a cpl times) On a side note the big names missing were Big Show, Rey Mysterio, Booker T., Undertaker.......also if they're going with Eddie vs. JBL for the main event at Judgement Day then we're in some need of desperate help! ==================================================== WWE house show results 4-10 Saginaw by Brett Wolverton WWF RAW at the Saginaw County Event Center, Saginaw, Michigan Rosey & Hurricane beat La Resistance Garrison Cade beat Tajiri Women's Champion Victoria beat Molly Holly, Lita, and Jazz in a four way elimination match Eugene beat A-Train Kane beat Rhyno Intercontinental Champion Randy Orton wrestled Shelton Benjamin to 20 minute draw in a best 2 out of 3 fall match. They were tied at 1 fall a piece. Chris Jericho beat Christian Matt Hardy V.1 beat Chuck Palumbo World Champion Chris Benoit beat Batista-Johnny Nitro was the special referee ==================================================== So Bradshaw kicking out of the frog splash but getting hit with the belt for the pin...what we can expect at JD? And in case you missed it...EUGENE BEAT A-TRAIN.

Thanks Deon, you rock! Keep it up, man. Didn't Benoit show up on RAW the next night? How did that work?

Will Coach bring in a wrestler to feud with Tajiri? Or is this just a token comedy feud?

What will the WWE have to do between now and May 16 to get you to order Judgment Day? Or are you already going to order/steal it anyways?

April-May-June were not good for the WWE last year. Hopefully this year's PPVs will be better... Backlash will definitely be better than 2003. But JD? I'm not sure...

I just think generally it's an excuse for booking laziness. The matches have occasionally been good - WM20, Vengeance, for example. But what was the "issue" at Vengeance? Brock was champ, and both Big Show and Angle wanted title shots. The end. How about at Armageddon? Goldberg was champ, and both Kane and HHH wanted title shots. Quite the storyline. I think everyone here made it clear that they could have easily done HHH/Benoit at WM.

Yeah, I wasn't really hoping for Coach vs. Tajiri. Here are two possibilities for Sunday: 1) 4 minutes of lame comedy 2) Coach comes out with his "Ninja" again. JR and Lawler talk about how it's Snow again. Tajiri beats Coach, and after the match Al Snow runs in and Tajiri takes him out too. Then the Ninja comes in and beats up Tajiri and unmasks to be some new superstar to RAW or whatever. And there's a feud for ya. Somehow, though, I think option 1 is a bit more likely.

And roid he has.

Yeah, I think ***1/4 or so is fair. It was a pretty fun match, but saying ****+ is a little overboard.

What match or matches have you never seen that's high on your list of matches to see in the near future? I still haven't seen London/Amdrag's Epic Encounter match. I want to see HBK/Razor from RAW in 1994. I also want to see any Dynamite/Tiger Mask matches. How about you guys?

Does anyone else think the graphic of Jericho on the main page of wwe.com is hilarious? It's like his head on some other body. Oh, and RAW was okayish. The main event was pretty fun, everything else was just last show before the PPV formulaic kind of stuff.

As I said in another thread, he's Lawler's kid. What Lawler wants, Lawler gets. And hey, it's not like the tag team division doesn't need some help!

Watch WWF SummerSlam 1990 and you would be shit faced!!! Also "Oh wait hold on a minute!!!" Same thing applies with this one with Vinny Mac. Thanks. Another one for Vince is "ladies and gentlemen". "Now, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, ladies and gentlmen, going to work on Mankind. Right hands by Hunter Hearst Helmsley!"

The sad thing about Foley/Orton is that we know who will be taking all the bumps of any magnitude. Somehow I doubt Orton's going to do much more than blade.

Hey, whoever would have thought Kane would have made it so far after starting off as an evil dentist.

I just got in and I'm taping the show to watch when it's all over. Without any spoilers...has tonight's show been good, bad, or "eh"?

Everytime HHH says "uh" or puts himself over as the greatest wrestler ever, take a drink. Everytime Chris Benoit stands there and watches him do it without saying anything, take a shot.

I'd rather not see Orton/Benjamin quite yet, just because it seems apparent that they want to push both guys heavily, so I'd rather have them feud with others than with each other, where their push might not have quite the same effect.

When watching the WWF or WCW from 97-99, take a drink everytime a match ends with a DQ, countout, or no contest finish. Take a shot for every ref bump.

Joey Styles just posted this column on 1w: ==================================================== Let me start out by disclosing that I own 50% of 1wrestling.com with Bob Ryder. I have no vested interest in the success or failure of TNA or Ring of Honor. 1wrestling.com has never been my full time career and has always been a fun business investment to me. Therefore, with nothing substantial to lose I am going to present my honest observations about the TNA/Ring of Honor situation as well as the 1wrestling.com/pwinsider.com situation. I am not looking to spin anything but am rather just looking to get some things off my conscience before fading back into obscurity and running the behind the scenes business of 1wrestling.com. 1.) The Rob Feinstein/Ring of Honor situation: I was the one who made the decision to no longer cover or promote Ring of Honor on 1wrestling.com against the advice of Bob Ryder. Bob felt it would hurt 1wrestling.com on the Internet and would prompt an angry reaction from smart wrestling fans like you. I agreed with his assessment but decided that the truth was much more important than our stature in the online wrestling news community. I did the right thing and accepted the consequences. I made the decision not to cover or promote Ring of Honor on 1wrestling.com because I am the father of a seven-month-old boy who already loves to stare at my PC monitor and bang on the keyboard. He is sitting with me right now as I write this column. The thought of pedophiles lurking out there in cyberspace waiting for him terrifies and enrages me. I hope TNA gets national TV and sells millions of pay-per-views, I hope a Feinstein-free ROH sells out Madison Square Garden and millions of DVDs. I hope pro wrestlers have several options for solid employment and wrestling fans have several options for their time and money. I will not personally benefit from any of these things but hope for them to happen because many other people will benefit. What I know is that I do not care for Rob Feinstein and from what I remember from what I read online after NBC10 exposed Rob Feinstein as an alleged Internet pedophile, neither do the Ring of Honor wrestlers or fans. What happened after the story broke amazed me. Ring of Honor publicly assured their outraged wrestlers and outraged fans that Rob Feinstein would not profit in any way from the wrestlers' hard work and the fans' support of that hard work. To substantiate that claim, they provided paperwork explaining that Rob Feinstein had signed over 100% of the shares in both Ring of Honor and RF Video to his long time friend and employee Doug Gentry. The paperwork sent to 1wrestling.com and other wrestling media was basic corporate paperwork that made no reference to any specifics of how the signing over took place or of any money that changed hands between Feinstein and Gentry. Who signs over ownership of a profitable company for no up front or deferred payment? The paperwork was not filed with the appropriate authorities in Pennsylvania and was not even notarized. While it is true that Pennsylvania's Corporations Bureau does not require for profit corporations to file change of ownership with them, the Pennsylvania Department of Revenue does and there is no record with that department of the change of ownership. In the case of the filing with the Corporations Bureau, while it's not required it would have only taken a few minutes to prepare the change, and it would have been in their best interest to do so in light of the horrible publicity Feinstein forced upon them. Why wouldn't Ring of Honor rush to cleanse themselves of Feinstein in any and every way possible? Ring of Honor could have easily and immediately diffused the situation by providing verifiable proof that there has been an ownership change and that Rob Feinstein no longer owns and is no longer involved in the company as Ring of Honor repeatedly and publicly promised their wrestlers and fans. The only public voice of the company, Gabe Sapolsky, is saying it is nobody's business who owns Ring of Honor because it is a private company. It is the business of those wrestlers and fans that continue to support Ring of Honor only because they believe Rob Feinstein is no longer profiting from the company. Those wrestlers and fans should be demanding the truth. The fact is there is no credible and verifiable evidence that there has been any change in ownership of Ring of Honor. To make matters worse, after claiming Doug Gentry owns 100% of the company despite no evidence of any financial transaction having taken place, now there is a silent owner who does not want to have his name on any of the paperwork. What kind of business owner does not have his name of the company's charter or incorporation papers besides Tony Soprano? In any case, it is none of my business where wrestlers work and where wrestling fans spend money, I am just observing the facts as I see them and if ROH can provide a legitimate and notarized proof of sale and transfer of ownership from Rob Feinstein to anyone else, I will happily promote ROH on 1wrestling.com and I will personally buy a front row ticket to an upcoming show. Until believable and verifiable proof is provided that Rob Feinstein is not profiting from Ring of Honor, I simply will not promote that company on 1wrestling.com, even if it means my website and myself personally are hated by thousands of internet wrestling fans. I owe that much to children and their families, including my own. I could not care less if TNA wrestlers do or do not work for Ring of Honor because it has nothing to do with the crux of the matter. 2.) 1wrestling.com and pwinsider.com Dave Scherer made the correct decision to start his own website. He was working at making a full time living at 1wrestling.com while the owners, Bob Ryder, and myself were not. I would have done the same. Bob and I even promoted pwinsider to the detriment of 1wrestling.com in order to bury the hatchet and help Dave succeed. My column earlier this week was prompted by emails congratulating us on our redesign and for not shutting down on February 1. My column's criticisms were not an attack on pwinsider but other cut, paste and do not credit sites that I will not name because I do not want to promote them. These sites post stories from 1wrestling.com, pwinsider and other news breaking sites and that hurts our business. Newsline stories are posted on 1wrestling.com "by 1wrestling.com" and not individual writers because I made the business decision to promote 1wrestling.com itself as opposed to individual writers so our business would be protected in case we ever had more writers leave 1wrestling.com in the future. All of our writers have other full time careers to support their families besides writing for 1wrestling.com, which takes enormous pressure off Bob and myself because we would feel the pressure if any family's sole source of income was our website. However, 1wrestling.com's writers are as credible and capable as any other wrestling writers on any other wrestling news site. The writers behind the "by 1wrestling.com" bylines are: Georgiann Makropoulos, a long time wrestling journalist and owner of the Wrestling Chatterbox newsletter. Georgiann is a wrestling fan first and foremost and has a wonderful personal connection with the fans. David Webber, who performed as Mortimer Plumtree in TNA as well as several independent wrestling organizations before TNA. David has a Rolodex full of insider contacts and uses them to break news for 1wrestling.com. Brian Fritz, who hosts Between the Ropes, a pro wrestling radio show on Orlando's sports radio station and has interviewed more current WWE and TNA wrestlers than I can list here and thus has forged relationships with many current WWE wrestlers and employees. Bob Ryder, who is currently an employee of TNA and a former employee of WCW where he forged relationships with many current WWE wrestlers and WWE employees. Joey Styles (my professional wrestling name) who was the ECW announcer for seven years where he forged relationships with many current WWE and TNA wrestlers and employees. You can be assured that anything you read on the 1wrestling.com Newsline has been accurately researched personally by one or more 1wrestling.com journalists and if we only read the news on another website and have not been able to obtain the information independently from our own sources, that site will be credited accordingly and we hope other sites will reciprocate. Thank you for your time. Joey Styles

My prediction: HBK 'accidentally' superkicks Benoit causing him to get pinned by HHH. Benoit goes down from that kick once again and HHH gets to win heading into the PPV. Just watch. I'd actually be kinda surprised if that _didn't_ happen. They have to do the whole "faces angry at each other" thing so it looks like it's every man for himself at Backlash.

A few random thoughts... Batista busting up Benoit's mouth = not good. Marky J? Uggh. Jame "By God" Noble "The Redneck Messiah". Awesome. Shelton still doesn't have a finisher, it looks like. Hope he gets a good one soon.

WWE SMACKDOWN Presents WrestleMania Revenge Qwest Center, Ames, IA Easter Sunday, 11-Apr-2004 WWE's SMACKDOWN crew brought a house show to the fabulous new Qwest Center in Omaha, Nebraska. It was an identical card to the show in Ames last night, but a much more solid show thanks to a hot crowd of, I'm guessing, just approaching 4,000. Your ring announcer is Tony Chimel. RICO (w/Miss Jackie) d. JOHNNY STAMBOLI (w/Nunzio) Jackie is tonight's Easter Bunny! She has a pink outfit, rabbit ears, and pigtails. Rico is sporting a white bow ribbon as a cottontail, which apparently was supposed to be Jackie's. She took it back before the match began. Miss Jackie gets a forced kiss from Nunzio and one attempted from Stamboli. Stamboli got one from Rico. Rico wins. Torrie Wilson comes to the ring and hypes the Tag Team Championship match (Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Dudley Boyz), but she is interrupted by Kurt Angle. Angle tells Torrie to leave or she's fired. She does, but flashes us some backside before going. Angle disses Omaha women, then complains of the Dudleys not being thankful for being traded from RAW. He says he's going to make the Dudleys earn a title shot. The Dudleys come out all mad, Angle takes off, and here comes Billy Kidman and Paul London. DUDLEYS d BILLY KIDMAN AND PAUL LONDON This match got significantly more time than last night. Dudleys win via 3-D. Can't remember to whom. BILLY GUNN d HORSESHOE "Horseshoe" was billed on wwe.com as Matt Weiss. Again, he got a "Horseshit" chant. He got really hot with some of the ringsiders who were really giving him...shit...Gunn gets his Fameasser to win, then teases flashing the crowd. Referee Brian Hebner won't allow it, so Gunn finally thanks him, shakes his hand, sends him on his way, and pulls his pants down. CHAVO GUERRERO (w/Dad) d SPIKE DUDLEY and JAMIE NOBLE in a WWE CRUISERWEIGHT TRIPLE THREAT MATCH Jamie Noble was announced by Chimel as "Jamie 'By God' Noble, The Redneck Messiah". This one seemed a little shorter than last night's. Noble does the job. MARK JINDRAK d ORLANDO JORDAN Teddy Long comes to the ring first and cuts the same promo as last night about how we all think he's prejudiced because we've been drinking the Haterade and that the one color he cares about most is green. He then introduces "what sounds like "Michael J" (I thought he said "Marky J" last night), who shows off his beautiful body at the behest of Long. Chimel still announces the winner as "Mark Jindrak". RIKISHI & SCOTTY 2 HOTTY d THE BASHAM BROS In celebration of Easter, Scotty did a little pre-match gag where he appeared to pull a red egg out of Rikishi's ass. Rikishi thought that was a good one. Scotty did the same "rope fumble" as last night in Ames. Scotty hit his worm and Rikishi is denied sticking his BUTT in a Basham face when they do the old switcheroo and a low blow, but the champs win anyway. Post-match, a Basham comes back in, gets caught by Scotty, falls into position, and gets stink-faced.. GUY WITH T-SHIRT GUN SIGNALS INTERMISSION Eddie's shirt is featured tonight. ROB VAN DAM d CHARLIE HAAS Three RVD fans brought one letter each to spell out "RVD", but actually spelled out "DVR". Two guys rooting for Haas kept screaming for him to use the "Haasinator". Right. Kurt Angle returns to the ring. He says he's here as General Manager to make the fans happy, and he will with a US Championship match and a WWE Championship match, in which he guarantees that "John Bradshaw Layfield will win the WWE championship" (no use of pesky initials tonight!). Kurt is interrupted by Dawn Marie, who essentially repeats last night's "jobless" promo, then Torrie runs in, catfight ensues, then Dawn leaves in a pink thong because Torrie has her pants. JOHN CENA d RENE DUPREE Last night was a Cena win by count out because Dupree walked out after Cena incited a "Rene is Gay" chant. Tonight, Dupree came out first. He told everybody that he was having a good time in this country until he came to Omaha. Then he called out Cena to show everybody how he defined what was wrong with the youth of this country. Cena comes out and does his rap, incorporating that he loves being the champion of the USA, the Nebraska Cornhuskers, and that Rene is Gay. But this time, they actually have a match. Dupree does a lot of posing and prancing that partly comes off as gay, and partly comes off as copying Ric Flair (as does his new ring robe). Cena wins with the F-U. EDDIE GUERRERO d JOHN "BRADSHAW" LAYFIELD to retain the WWE CHAMPIONSHIP Bradshaw comes out and says that he's discovered research that shows Omaha is overpopulated by gays. He understands why...It's because of the "hideous creatures" they call women who live here. I believe he also went after the Cornhuskers. Eddie's ride tonight was a beautiful pewter Buick convertible of, I'd say, mid-sixties vintage. I saw no evidence of hydraulic capability, but may have missed it because it rode so low you couldn't see it above the ringside fans once he got towards ringside. But MAN was it beautiful. Two significant differences in this match up from last night. First, the crowd was totally into it. Second, some idiot jumped the rail mid-match and headed for the ring. Referee Brian Hebner saw him coming and got him on the apron, hitting him once in the head then kicking him several times to the groin. He fell off the apron and into the hands of Security, who had quite a time escorting him out as he fought BIG time all the way back (and they had to get around Eddie's ride). The match was effectively stopped until he was gone. Bradshaw looked as if he was going after him at one point, but Hebner held him back. The match restarted after Bradshaw grabbed the mic and started yelling at Eddie. I overlooked writing up the ending of this match last night, which they repeated tonight...Hebner gets speared accidentally and is down. Bradshaw hits the Clothesline from Hell and covers, but nobody's counting. So Angle comes back out with Charles Robinson, who counts a 2. Angle pulls Robinson out from under his feet and knocks him out cold, then throws the belt to Bradshaw. Bradshaw fires at Eddie, who ducks, runs the ropes and hits Bradshaw. Eddie takes the belt, clocks Bradshaw. Angle jumps into the ring. Guerrero then tosses the belt to Angle and drops to the canvas as if He'd been hit by the belt just in time for Hebner to come back to life. Hebner sees Angle standing there with the belt and points. Angle tosses the belt out and throws up his arms like "What?!?" Hebner kicks Angle out as Eddie slowly rolls over and covers Bradshaw for the pin. Funny stuff. ******************************* Stacy Keibler comes out, to much appreciation from the (male portion of) crowd. She gets the crowd fired up until the old WCW Nitro music hits and out comes… Johnny Whatever-His-Name-Is-This-Week. He tries (and fails miserably) to mack on Stacy. Stacy has nothing to do with him and leaves. Johnny says Eric Bischoff has given him the power to make sure the show goes smoothly tonight. Great. Grand. Wonderful. Onto… Match 1 - La Resistance (Rob Conway & Sylvan Grenier) vs. The Hurricane and Rosey, Super Hero In Training Decent match. Big “USA” chant from the crowd gets La Resistance riled up. Conway on the outside talking trash. At one point Hurricane socked Conway in the face and the spit goes flying. Fit Finley, seated outside the ring next to The Fink, manages to dodge the spit nicely. We yell “Fit Finley Rules!” to which Finley acknowledges with a wink and a smile. La Resistance double-team Hurricane and work him over for the better part of the match. Hurricane manages to tag in Rosey, who cleans house with clotheslines, knockdowns, and bodyslams. End comes when Rosey picks up Conway in a Fireman’s Carry and Samoan Drops him at the same time that Hurricane gives him a neckbreaker. Sweet tag team move for the 1-2-3. Winners: The Hurricane and Rosey by pinfall Match 2 - Garrison Cade vs. Tajiri. Cade is wearing some goofy-looking cowboy boots, which I point out by saying, “Nice cowboy boots!” to which Cade replies, “These boots cost more than your house!” Ha! I don’t OWN a house! Shows how much he knows. Cade stays in control for most of this match. Tajiri scores some wicked kicks though. Tajiri wraps Cade up in the Tarantula. Tajiri goes for that nasty roundhouse kick while Cade is on his knees, however, Cade ducks, rolls up Tajiri, and holds on to the ropes to score the (cheap) pinfall victory. Winner: Garrison Cade by pinfall Match 3 - Four Way Elimination Match - Women’s Championship Jazz vs. Molly Holly vs. Lita vs. Victoria© Great match. Molly Holly and Jazz team up for a while and this strategy works well until Molly attempts to cover Victoria. Jazz will have none of this and pulls Molly off. Molly and Jazz get into it, and while they’re arguing, Lita and Victoria simultaneously roll them up and the referee counts the double-pinfall! Now we are down to Lita vs. Victoria. Crowd seems to be split here. Lita and Victoria go move for move here, until Lita scores a nice looking hurancanrana. Lita seems to have the edge here but Victoria comes right back. I don’t remember how it exactly went down but Victoria ended up getting the pinfall. Victoria and Lita hug after the match. Winner and STILL Women’s Champion: Victoria Oh no, here comes Eugene, Bischoff’s nephew! He is carrying a giant pink stuffed rabbit. He gives a small pink stuffed bunny to a little girl in the front row. He also has some marshmallow peeps, which he hands out to Victoria and Lita, as well as some of the people in the row in front of me. Regal comes out to try and rein in Eugene, and here comes A-Train, leading to… Match 4 - Eugene w/ William Regal vs. A-Train Poor Eugene seems outclassed in this one. Lots of “Shave Your Back” chants. My God, A-Train is a large hairy ape. A-Train pummels him for the duration of the match, which thankfully, is short. A-Train grabs Eugene’s bunny and rips its head off, sending fluff flying everywhere. Somehow during this match one of the turnbuckle pads was removed. A-Train attempts to splash Eugene in the corner but at the last second, Eugene bends over to pick up some fluff, sending A-Train squarely into the unprotected turnbuckle. Eugene covers A-Train and gets the “W” much to his, and the crowd’s, delight. Regal seems pleased as well. Absolutley hilarious segment. Winner: Eugene by pinfall Match 5 - Rhyno vs. Kane AH! If you ask me, this match could break the “Beef-O-Meter”. Rhyno gets in more offense than I would have thought, however, none of it seems to faze Kane. Kane wears Rhyno down with sleeper holds. Kane scores the big flying clothesline off the top rope. That looks quite impressive in person. Rhyno attempts the gore, only to run into Kane’s rather large boot. Kane with the Chokeslam, and the pin. Winner: Kane by pinfall Match 6 - Intercontinental Championship “Legend Killer” Randy Orton© vs. Shelton Benjamin Great match here. However, before the match can even get underway, here comes that damn Johnny Whats-His-Face again. Johnny announces that Shelton has only 10 minutes in which to beat Orton. Ok, 10-minute time limit on this match. I can live with that. Orton and Benjamin lock up and muscle each other around the ring, out of the ring, and into the railing. They go back and forth, neither man can seem to get the upper hand. Benjamin scores a sweet-looking flying roundhouse kick and pins Orton with a funky-looking roll up move. 1-2-3 and YOUR NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION, SHELTON BENJAMIN!!! Crowd is going nuts!! But wait, here comes that rotten Johnny Nitro. Johnny announces that this is now a 2 out of 3 falls match. Orton quickly takes advantage of a distracted Benjamin and drills him with the RKO. Nasty! 1-2-3 and now each man has scored a pinfall. Orton immediately attempts to pin Benjamin again but cannot. Once again, they go back and forth, move-for-move, but neither man can get the advantage. Benjamin nails Orton with a Stinger Splash but cannot cover Orton in time and the 10-minute time limit is up. The Fink announces that the match is a draw, and that Orton retains his title, which draws the ire of the crowd. Winner: DRAW At this point we have a 10 minute intermission, before which The Fink hawks WWE T-shirts. There is a T-shirt cannon guy who has HORRIBLE aim. He launches several of the t-shirts into the empty upper deck areas where virtually nobody is sitting. Match 7 - Christian vs. Chris “Y2J” Jericho There had been rumors running rampant this week that Jericho’s band, Fozzy, was going to put on a concert after the show ended. This did not happen, unfortunately. This match was excellent. Lots of Jericho fans here in Peoria. Lots of “CLB” and “Y2J” chants too. Yet again, here comes that damn Johnny Nitro! Man this guy is annoying!! He states that Christian does not have to abide by the rules but that Jericho does, making it half a NO-DQ match. OOOOOOk. Jericho says that Johnny Blaze, Johnny Nitro, your name should be Johnny Assclown! The crowd roars at that. Great back-and-forth matchup here. Jericho goes for the Walls early but Christian gets to the ropes. Christian nails his front-facelock DDT but gets only a 2-count. Christian then hits the Unprettier but still only gets 2. Jericho hangs up Christian in the ropes and knees him in the back hard. Y2J locks Christian up with the Walls, and Christian has no choice but to tap out. Winner: Chris “Y2J” Jericho by submission After this the crowd mercilessly taunts Christian, chanting “You Tapped Out” at him till he runs away. Ha-ha! Match 8 - Matt Hardy V.1 vs. Chuck Palumbo Crowd is mostly pro-Hardy here. Only drawback of a house show: NO Matt Facts! Damn! Hardy seems to be the wiley veteran here, staying away from most of Palumbo’s power moves. Palumbo does get in a nice looking fallaway slam a la Scott Hall. Hardy hits the Side Effect but only gets a two-count. Hardy goes for the Twist Of Fate but Palumbo picks him up and rams him into the corner. However Hardy manages to get out of it and nails the Twist Of Fate out of nowhere. Hardy covers Palumbo for the 1-2-3. Winner: Matt Hardy V.1 by pinfall Match 9 - World Heavyweight Championship Batista vs. “Crippler” Chris Benoit© Another excellent match. You were expecting less from the master of the Crippler Crossface? Puh-leaze. HUGE pop for the Champ. Ah geez, here comes that irritating Johnny Nitro yet AGAIN! This time he’s in a referee’s shirt and apparently is going to ref this match. Benoit gets on the mic and tells Nitro that if he doesn’t call the match right down the middle, he’s going to knock Nitro’s ass out. Crowd loves that. Great matchup here, despite Batista only having about 4 or 5 moves in his repertoire. Batista can’t get the edge on Benoit early, causing Batista to bail out of the ring. He appears headed to the back when Benoit gets on the mic and tells Batista to get his ass back in the ring. He’s going to make Batista tap out, just like he did on TV, and then the crowd will tell him… “YOU TAPPED OUT!” This gets Batista riled up and he gets back in the ring. Batista is much more aggressive now and ends up busting Benoit’s mouth open. Batista keeps putting the wear-down holds on Benoit, but Benoit always manages to find a way out of them. Benoit lays into Batista with super-mega-stiff backhands. SMACK! WOO! SMACK! WOO! Oh yeah, I’m lovin that! No matter what Batista does, Benoit just keeps coming, and he is relentless until he gets Batista into the Crippler Crossface. However, referee Johnny Nitro helps Batista to the ropes, and that pissed Benoit off. He did just what he said he was going to do, he decks Johnny Nitro, sending him flying out of the ring. Crossface applied to Batista again, and here comes Earl Hebner! Hebner gets in the ring just in time to make the call as Batista taps out!! Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: “Crippler” Chris Benoit Orton comes out to help out Batista and they double-team Benoit till Shelton Benjamin hits the ring. He takes out Orton, but here comes Garrison Cade! Cade takesout Benjamin and starts to put the boots to Benoit until Tajiri comes in for the save. Tajiri and Benoit take care of Cade, and they celebrate in the ring to end the show. All in all, very enjoyable. The WWE always puts on a good show whenever they come to Peoria, and you can tell the crowd loves it. Biggest Pops: 1. Benoit 2. Jericho 3. Benjamin 4. Hurricane / Rosey Biggest Heat: 1. Johnny Nitro (Definitely!) 2. La Resistance 3. Evolution

I stole these first two from the A1 message board, just because they made me laugh. The first is an awful booking idea, and the second is a funny markish take on Evolution: "Taker comes out and says that he has an announcement to make. He tells the crew to show footage of the 1994 summerslam. they show footage of undertaker pinning undertaker at ss 94. Taker then says that he has startling news. He was the taker that won the match, but he wasn't the real undertaker, He goes on saying that Ted dibiases taker(the one that lost) was the real one, so they have been dealing with the fake one for 10 years. He then says that he tracked down the original taker and calls him out. A guy comes out who claims to be the real taker(it is Kevin Nash with a shaven face and a long haired wig. he looks like original taker). the taker that started the promo apoligeses to the original taker(Nash) and they embrace. they can form a tag team with paul bearer as their manager." "Evolution really sucks. I have hated them since when they first formed. First you have a REALLY old guy who cant really wrestle anymore.(Ric Flair) Its really gross just to look at him in his wrestling gear. Then you have a guy who is just full of himself.(randy Orton) The guy says hes the best but he really sucks. then you got a guy who took way too many steriods.(batista) Yeah sure hes a great wrestler. but the guy is kinda syco. then you got the worst guy ever.(Triple H) One of the biggest cheaters ever. Nobody likes him and he doesnt like us. every time he had the world heavyweight title he cheated to defend it. So evolution really sucks. they have stupid guys who cheat and they have crappy music." From a different board (I swear these are all real) here's a take on why Kurt Angle shouldn't have been the new SD GM: "I gotta agree with DirtyDog. Stephannie was prolly the best gm in a loong time. and another thing, who was the gm before stephannie? if you noticed she made the tag titles, brought back the us belt, and hired lesnar and undertaker." And here's some more random crap: (And I swear this next one is REAL...which is scary.) "i tink ugine (erics nephew)iz stupid he acts like a baby and hes in his 20s! he shud grow upa bit (hes funny tho) it cant b good 4 raww 2 av a stupid man who acts like a baby on raw ne 1 agree?" "whats all this talk about edge? he doesnt wrestle anymore." "Excuse me for being dumb, but what the hell is FACE?" "I hear Kane will put his mask back on if he loses to the Undertaker at WMXX. I heard it from my stepdad's friend who works for WWE" "ya i agree digitiol he beats up on elderly people who have been out of the bussiness for a long....and calls himself " the legend killer ". which makes hime think he is the bomb and a great...ya right orton sucks" "I would have to go with Goldberg on this one. Since Brock is a heel they will probably have him lose. I think Brock is bigger though." "good matches would be Brock/Batista HBK/Big Show Hardcore Holly/Kane"