Gary Floyd

woke up this morning with a bad hangover And my penis was missing again This happens all the time It's detachable This comes in handy a lot of the time I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble Or I can rent it out when I don't need it But now and then I go to a party Get drunk And the next morning I can't for the life of me Remember what I did with it First I looked around my apartment And I couldn't find it So I called up the place where the party was They hadn't seen it either I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes But not this time So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party But they were no help either I was starting to get desperate I really don't like being without my penis for too long It makes me feel like less of a man And I really hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak After a few hours of searching the house And calling everyone I could think of I was starting to get very depressed So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast. Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven Some guy was selling it I had to buy it off him He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17 I took it home Washed it off And put it back on I was happy again Complete People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached But I don't know Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass I like having a detachable penis

who?

Ever seen "Blue Velvet"? The tagline to that movie is "It's a strange world". How true that is. Anyways, I was working in my summer volunteering job today, when I fleetingly mentioned that I'm a fan of pro-wrestling. The guy working with me reveals that he sometimes works in local independent shows under the pseudonym "Coach Dillon". At first, I thought he was bullshitting me, but he then shows me clips of him in action. Well, it's all true: The guy I work with is an indy wrestler. I was silent for God knows how long. We spent the remaining five minutes talking about wrestling, and how he was at the Brian Pillman Memorial show of 2000, and got to see Benoit vs. Regal live, from the sixth row. Holy fucking shit. You have no idea how right you were when your movie said "It's a strange world" David Lynch.

GZA/Genius-Liquid Swords Pelican-The Fire In Our Throats Will Beckon The Thaw Various Artists-Compounds+Elements: An Inroduction To All Saints Records

Whether he gets banned or not, it doesn't matter. It's obviously CronoT, and he'll just return under a different pseudonym.

That is a good question. This does seem like a banable offense.

What, it's not my fault he's unpopular.

Go away. Seriously, just fucking go away. You do nothing but annoy us, nobody likes you here, and nobody ever will like you.

And he fingerfucks preteens while saying Timbaland was the best Beatle. Oh that's just a diversion so that he can steal Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Anyone ever piss in your coffee? That was Ned Lamont.

Man, I hope that's fake.

"Alf, you ate the cat again, didn't you?" Come on, Lieberman looks just like the dad from Alf.

Liebermna to Lamont: "I Don't Like You"

There are things I like that's not exactly everybody's cup of tea. Well, they should be, because these things are awesome. These are things I think everybody should like. -French Pop Music from the 60's nd early 70's. Come on, listen to some Bridgette Bardot and Froncois Hardy, because it's some really good stuff. I know, it's French, so you folks probably think that it sucks. I say give it a chance. -Synth Pop. Face it fuckers, synth pop rules. Listen to more New Order (well, old New Order), Depeche Mode, and Gary Numan. I'll take that over a lot of whatever is popular with you hipster douchebags. -Squidbillies. Some hate it, but I love it. Granted, the first episode sucks, but it really picks up from there. Just thank White Jesus that new episodes are coming later in the months ahead. -The Descent. I'm just mentioning this to reming you folks to see this movie right fucking now. It's the scariest movie you will see this year. -David Letterman. I love Conan and all, but Letterman will always be my favorite. I was a fan of the guy since my teens, and I am still a fan of his. Hell, I will always be a fan. -Post punk. You know, like Joy Division, The Contortions, Public Image Limited, etc. Much better than punk if you ask me. -Bart The General. I posted this yesterday, and it will either make you want to kill yourself, or declare that it's the best thing ever made. If it's the former, then I take no responsibilities on your choices. -Electro-Funk. You know, like Man Parrish, Afrika Bambaataa, Newcleus, etc. This stuff always seems to get overlooked amongst the other hip hop fans, which is a shame. -Post Rock. Yeah, it's pretentious as hell, but it's great, and makes for an excellent post apocalyptic soundtrack. -Potato chips and bananas. Eat some chips, then eat a banana. It's fucking bliss.

-Casting for upcoming season 2 episodes of Masters of Horror have been added. It will be . "We All Scream for Ice Cream", an adaptation of the short story by John Farris, directed by Tom ("Fright Night") Holland and written by splatterpunk legend David J. Schow. Stars Lee ("Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning") Tergesen and William ("The Devil's Rejects") Forsythe . "The Screwfly Solution", based on a short story by Raccoona Sheldon, dircted by Joe Dante and written by Sam Hagg. Will star Jason Priestley, Elliot Gould, Kerry Norton, and Linda Darlow. . "Valerie on the Stairs", directed by Mick Garris and written by Clive Barker. Will star Tyron Leisto, Christopher Lloyd, and Tony Todd. -Casting for yet another asian horror remake, this time "One Missed Call", has begun. The movie will star Edward Burns, Shannyn Sossamon, Ed Harris, and Gabriel Byrne. It will be directed by Eric ("Malefique") Vallette. - Go to composer Tyler Bates website now to hear the theme to Rob Zombie's upcoming remake of "Halloween" -Stuart Gordon's newest movie "Edmond" comes to DVD on October 3rd, along with Lucky McKee's "The Woods", Ti West's "The Roost", and "Calvaire" (aka "The Ordeal). Also, the British lensed movie "The Gathering", which stars Christina Ricci, comes out on this date, while Jake West's splattercomedy "Evil Aliens" comes to DVD on January 7th. -Finally, good news and bad news for Dario Argento's long awaited third entry into his "Three Mother's Triology", called "The Mother of Tears". Bad news: Filming doesn't start until November. The good news: It will star his daughter Asia Argento.

Dub makes for some great stoner music. Try King Tubby, Lee Scratch Perry, Keith Hudson, and Augustus Pablo for some great stuff. Some great electronic albums for smoking pot. Dedicated to Art Sandusky, who knows that there's more to techno than shitty e-riddled rave anthems. Tricky-Maxinquaye Death In Vegas-The Contino Sessions Massive Attack-Mezzanine Tangerine Dream-Phaedra Scorn-Gyral Portishead-Dummy and Portishead DJ Spooky-Songs for a Dead Dreamer The Orb-U.F. Orb,The Orb's Adventures Beyond the Ultraworld,, and Orbus Terrarum

I just want to say that "Natural Born Killers" is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Oh, and I would dare to say it's Stone's worst movie. Yes, worst than that one with Jennifer Lopez and "Alexander"

-Specs are up for the upcoming Special Edition DVD of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre II", which comes out on October 10th. Special features include .Commentary from director Tobe Hooper. .Commentary from actors Bill Mosley and Caroline Williams, and makeup FX artist Tom Savini .A six Part, 90 Minute documentary about the movie called "It Runs In The Family" .Deleted Scenes, including the parking garage massacre featuring Joe Bob Briggs .Original Theatrical Trailer .Poster and stills gallery. -The final poster for "Feast" is up.. It will come out October 22nd and 23rd for Midnight Screenings, followed by an Unrated DVD on October 17th.

Well, since you are an anime fan, what's the worst anime ever made?

"Hitler was a sensative man"

Aphex Twin-Alberto Balsalm

-I saw "The Descent" last Friday night, and all I have to say is this: See it now. Hell, see it twice if you have to. Seriously, this is the best horror movie that you will see this year. It's got some nice gore, realistic characters instead of the normal dumb teens you normally get, and it's intense and scary as hell. Basically, fucking see "The Descent", because it kicks all of your collective asses, and is better than any other horror movie you will see this year. Oh, and I won't quit talking about it until more people have seen it. -I had no idea Masked Man of Mystery had a blog. He's a decent guy, and while a bit of a geek who takes things a bit too seriously at times, I like him. -See "The Descent" -If you've been on Youtube lately, you probably have heard of a weird ass web cartoon called Bart the General, which is what would happen if a Simpsons fan with ADD took MDMA and made a web cartoon. This is possibly the strangest thing you will see this year, and it's already gaining a cult following on the web. -See "The Descent" -On Rick James B1tch: Dude, change your name, because that "Chapelles Show" skit stopped being funny the second people started quoting it. -See "The Descent" -Brendon Smalls is a genius. His new show "Dethklok Metalocalypse" debuted on Adult swim last night, and it rules. Also, they are showing new episodes of "The Venture Brothers" again, and that show is now the best cartoon on TV. -See the Descent

Wrong. Damn right. Everyone who hasn't seen it should see it now.

Do Ya Wanna Party? IT'S PARTY TIME!!!! We Gonna Party! IT'S PARTY TIME!!!!

The Venture Brothers was just awesome last night. Almost every time there's a new episode, it's almost like they manage to top the previous ones. I seriously fucking love this show.

I don't know why, but I like yas MMM. Sure, you're a bit of a geek, and I am most certainly not a Deadhead, but I think you are a nice guy. There, i got that off my chest. Oh, and see "The Descent" in theatres righrt now. It's fucking awesome.