KK Rage

I'd just like to say I am grateful that I'm not the only drunk ass Doors fan that posts here. That is all.

From the same episode mentioned above. "You know me Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FLAMMMMMINNGGG!!" Homer's enemy is also a classic. Grimes: "Look at Simpson. The man literally eats like a pig!" Carl: "I'd say he eats more a duck. Pigs tend to chew." *Camera cuts to an eclair literally sailing down Homer's throat.* And from the Monorail episode: Marge: "Homer, there is a family of possums living in here!" Homer: "I call the big one bitey." And probably the most rendundant, yet funniest joke they ever ran: "Lisa needs braces. DENTAL PLAN! Lisa needs braces. DENTAL PLAN!"

The best part of being a bartender is you get to hear all the crazy drunk shit from all sorts of people. List some of your best. I'll get the ball rolling for you guys. (Last Night) Drunk #1- "Excuse me sir, could you write my name and "Comfortably Numb on this karaoke sheet for me? I can't read or write, it's my only two weaknesses in life." (A few weeks ago) Random Drunk (fresh out of the bathroom with bloody hands)- "Excuse me ASSHOLE, I don't appreciate you guys putting fucking video cameras in the bathroom, so I ripped that shit off the wall!" (Man leaves) I then walk into the bathroom to find the smoke detector lying on the floor.

LOL. It's not my fault, when you are behind the bar you hear everything that goes on, whether you want to listen or not. Plus you have to stay on the lookout for people running at you with shovels.

Bruce Campbell, David Carradine, Uma Thurman, Brad Pitt, and Edward Norton

80 in a 65 and 70 in a 45. Totally lucky the trooper didn't fuck me on the second one, as my ticket was only 79 bucks

Invisibility (I mean come on, you could get away with anything.) Shapeshifting Flying

Deliberatly exaggerating sounds hauntingly familiar, and I really hate to pull this card, but everyone knew it was coming. "There is credible evidence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq." I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are a lot of rubes out there (Not you guys) who watch the debates and take everything these guys say as a 100 percent undisputable truth, and that's what tends to worry me. Trust me, I was bartending last night and you should have seen the back and forth reactions from the (very drunk) Democrats and Republicans. It was almost like fucking mob mentality warfare. I literally had pissed off people coming up to me who were all "So who do you support?", like they were going to rip my fucking head off if I said the wrong answer. I had to keep it at "Sorry, when I'm behind the bar I'm undecided." Sorry for the mini-rant, that felt good to get off my chest.

Dick Cheney: "I've been head of the senate for four years now, and the first time I met you was tonight, on this stage." What's even funnier about that statement is that if you head over to the Drudge Report, they have pictures and facts of Cheney meeting and praising Edwards at least three times. Just sayin.

Keith Richards. Come on, it's got to catch up to him SOMETIME.

No, way too many Beatleheads that will use all of their tree loving power to keep him behind bars, even though Lennon went to a Buddhist school and preached the benefits of loving everyone on Earth.

Well it's about time. So what I'm wondering is, if he tests positive do all the records still count or do they go off the books? If he tests positive this is the biggest black eye in baseball history. Frankly, I'm suprised they let all of Sosa's shit stand after they caught him corking the bat.

South Park Reservoir Dogs BAD SANTA... just saw it last night, that movie owns

Bill (Kill Bill) Lee Emery from Full Metal Jacket (Boot camp general) Vic Vega (Michael Madsen- Reservoir Dogs) Ash Tony Montana

Go to a party and get drunk. Drunk people have no problem initating conversation.

"I don't really think about things before I do them." I swear to God, not making that one up.

I hate to sound like the PTC, because these movies are my absolute favorites, but I'd just like to say if you are bothered by cartoon pedophelia, then maybe you also should be bothered by: ***SPOILERS*** A defenseless pregnant woman getting brutally beaten and shot in the head A woman getting a knife to the chest A woman in a coma getting raped for 4 years A man getting his tongue ripped out and bleeding to death A man getting beaten to death with the side of a door A little girl watching her parents get murdered A man being assassinated in the back of a limousine A man getting beheaded A woman getting her arm chopped off A teenager murdered due to nails stuck in the side of her head 20 + people getting beheaded, cut in half, dismembered, etc... A woman getting scapled A woman being buried alive after being shot in the breasts A man murdered by a coworker who hid a poisonous snake in a bag A woman getting both of her eyes ripped out of her skull A man murdered by having his dinner poisoned Women having their face cut for disobeying their pimp A man getting murdered by damage to the heart and pressure points. Just saying, ya know?

My all time fav: (During a RVD vs. Big Show match) Paul: This match is unfair. Big Show outweighs RVD by more than 200 pounds! JR: What do you want me to do about it? Make him lose weight? Paul: Yeah yeah, I read the Ross Report.

Longshanks from Braveheart Joe Pantalino's character from Memento... until the end

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewI...ssPageName=WDVW Louie Spicolli on the left? Ok, bad joke

"It ain't over until it's over." No shit sherlock.

"Puke! That's a funny word!"

Holy shit, I couldn't tell you how many fucked up things have happened on Natty Century clubs... that just brought back some memories. Does anyone know what drinking Natty and having sex on a raft have in common? They are both fucking close to water.

The thing about Goldschlager, is it tastes so damn good with little feeling of alcohol. (Of course, the actual proof is a different story.) If you are an alcoholic like myself and you cannot taste alcohol in a drink, you assume "Hey that must be really weak, let me drink a shitload more!" Of course when you wake up in the morning that's a whole other story...

Goldschlager and Aftershock. Never, and I mean NEVER, drink Goldschlager unless the idea of random property damage is your thing. And this includes your own stuff.