Jingus

What part of this did you guys not understand?! Now look at the horror you've spawned. LOOK AT IT LOOK AT IT LOOKATIT [/davidcrockett].

Fag. Proof. (Nowhere near work-safe.) Oh, and here's your winner by knockout. EDIT: a few runners-up: The cutest 40+ woman in wrestling. Maybe money can't buy happiness, but it can sure buy you one hell of a rack. I'll never forgive Vince for firing her. Never. EVER. One of my favorite opponents.

Just pick any random ROH scramble match, and start throwing rocks at the ring til you pegged eight skinny guys. (In fact, that'd probably be more entertaining than whatever TNA ends up putting on the PPV.)

A 9/11 costume, a Strong Bad icon, and a dead guy's singularly ironic away message. Edwin has possibly the coolest desktop I've ever seen.

Oh hell yeah. I'm a huge Hellblazer fan, and I just almost broke down weeping when I first saw the Constantine trailer. Ted Neodore Logan as John Bloody Constantine?!? Christ, even if Jude Law was too busy to play the part, get James Marsters or someone like that to do it. Also pissed me off since the basic theme of Hellblazer is about humans have made a shithole of the modern world and that magic is simply too powerful and strange a force to be fucked with... yet the movie trailer shows a bunch of oh-so-cool FX and makes fighting demons look like a real barrel of laffs. The only true-to-comic moment was when the woman asked John if he'd help her, and he just points to the door with cig and booze in hand. Neodore... heh, I kill me.

Don't even get him started, pleez.

I used to watch TNG religiously when I was growing up, enjoyed DS9 greatly until the last couple of years, and watched TOS when nothing better was on. Then came Voyager. Long story short, I've never watched even one episode of Enterprise.

Well, DAMN. Or, as they say, HEY-OOOOOOOOOOO. But... Gary Who?

Picked up the NOAH 7-10-04 Tokyo Dome show, and I've been watching my way through it. Haven't gotten to the Misawa/Mutoh tag match or the much-ballyhooed Kobashi/Akiyuma bout, but here's a few thoughts so far: -Momota and Eigen seem like they break all the natural laws of biology at least once in all their matches. How do these two senior citizens pull off a prettier sunset flip than most of the guys half their age? -Masou Inoue is still boring as hell. -Too Cold Scorpio looks like shit these days, with a beer gut and less hair than Hogan, but then... he climbs to the top rope, and BOOM, still delivers some of the most beautiful highspots you'll ever see. I still can't believe how every single company in the US completely pissed away this guy's talent like they did. -Marafuji/KENTA vs. Kashin/Sugiura was really fun, with the guys switching seamlessly from goofy comedy to cringe-inducing highspots like they were straight outta Toryumon. It's weird to see a powerbomb from the apron to the floor portrayed as a laff riot, but hey, that's them wacky Japanese for ya. -Liger still fucking rules, as he absolutely made Kanemaru's career with their title match, bumping and selling and jobbing like the god of wrestling that he is. HOWever, it's kinda sad to see the Finisher Overkill trend has even gotten to Jushin these days, as they burned through about a million palm strikes/powerbombs/brainbusters, even going so far as to throw a Ligerbomb within the first thirty seconds (and have Kanemaru kick out and practically no-sell it afterwards). Well, now to go watch the main event. It HAS to rule like ****** MOTD, cuz Meltzer said so! [/fanboy]

Depends on what kind of cigarette, and how fast you smoke it. On average, 2-4 minutes. I knew a guy once who liked to utter the phrase: "I'm gonna smoke him like a Newport... cuz brothers smoke Newports!" as he puffed on his Port. That dude was about as black as Sinbad.

See, it's true: weed makes anything funnier.

::makes Yo Mama jokes at Vanhalen til he snaps and screams at the teacher to get me to stop::

Pretty much, yah. I've thought up a couple of wacky cool wrestling spots while high, but that's the limit of any utility I've gotten out of weed.

Damn, you people have a one track mind... and do I detect a certain word that everyone's dancing around, but nobody's actually using? Give ya a nickel to go down to Nicaragua and pick up some Nicorette gum and chicken nuggets for that long flight across the ocean to Niger, ya necrofiliacs.

Yo. Out of general apathy for their crappy product, I haven't sat down and watched an entire episode of Raw in a long, long time. (I have kept up with the storylines and such online, which has mostly just had me shaking my head in disbelief or disgust.) Well, I recorded the show on tape last night, and here are a honorary-psuedo-insider's view of a show I haven't paid any attention to for half a year now. -Overall, I kinda liked it. At least when I gave up watching this show, you usually didn't get three matches that went past five minutes like we got this week. That ain't much, but it's better than the promo-driven shitburgers they've been feeding us for years now. -However, I still got a few points to bitch about. Firstly, what the fuck is Nova doing in a two-minute match where his only offense is punches & kicks? At least let him use a few of the moves he "invented". Also, why was the Intercontinental Champion left off the show last week, and why did the commentators make a special point of reminding us about that fact last night? -Speaking of commentators, you evil smarks leave good ol' JR alone. Ross certainly isn't the talent that he was in 1989, but hell, who would be after having their entire head paralyzed? He's still lightyears better than the majority of indy play-by-play guys. (Lawler, on the other hand...) -Where did all these bitches come from? I don't watch a wrestling show to see random generic interchangable surgically enhanced females who can't act. Vince fired Jaqueline, Nidia, and Jazz so he could pay the salarys of these bimbos?! -The combined team of Benoit and Jericho can carry ANYONE to a decent match, in my opinion. Damn shame about the finish, which was the stupidest botched mess I've seen in a while. -So here we have two guys that we're gonna make into evil Arabian heels. One of them is actually Italian, and a crappy wrestler to boot. The other one is a better wrestler, and is really Arabic. Sooooo, which one gets to be the leader of the team, and which one is the sidekick? I don't get it eiither. -Where the hell did Sergeant Slaughter go, and who's this skinny guy who took his place? He still takes sick bumps like the old Sarge, though. -Randy Orton and HHH are, in terms of age, health, and movesets, better wrestlers than Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair. So why are Randy and Hunter so much more boring than HBK and Naitch? Flair still has one of the best backdrop bumps in the business, he looks like he breaks a hip every single time he takes it, but he takes it every damn week (although I can't remember the last time he got the turnbuckle flip right). I don't buy Orton being miraculously protected from reconcussion until he did his finisher, which you'd think would be the LAST thing he'd hit his head on. The best part of this match was Batista's mischievious little grin after he intentionally got himself thrown out. The WWE is bringing his face turn along in a more clever and subtle manner than any storyline I've seen in a while, hope they don't drop the ball. -The cage match was... there. Poor Glenn Jacobs: the guy has had to carry the burden of ALL of the most ridiculous wrestlecrap storylines in his WWFE tenure ("He's Undertaker's [half] Brother!", and the whole Paul Bearer angle, and Tori, and magic fire powers, and Katie Vick, and the unmasking, and teaming with every cruiserweight in the company, and the wedding, and the miscarriage, plus don't forget Isaac Yankem and Fake Diesel) yet the guy continues to soldier onward, is still pretty over and he gives the best that he has, night in and night out. Any other man would've retired in disgust long ago, but Glenn's like the mailman, nothing can stop him from coming back over and over again. Good for him, I don't think I would have the patience to deal with all the bullshit he has. But anyway, cage matches really should have at least one guy bleeding, I think that was one of the original Commandments. The chokeslam on the door was cool, but if I was the kayfabe WWE, I'd be pissed at whoever built my crappy steel cage that a near-jobber like Snitzky can rip apart with his bare hands. All in all, it wasn't as bad as a lot of the shit they've put on TV in the past three years.

Why are there so few female scientists, at the highest level? Probably the same reason we've never had a female President.

Orton's only shot at doing anything worthwhile at Mania is The Rock. Aside from him, there's really nobody left that Randy hasn't feuded with already (or who isn't already obviously booked into another match, like Taker/Kane vs. Heidenreich/Snitzky)

Alright, let's start guessing what the card will be. My main question: will Vince bring in non-WWE wrestlers on this show? In theory the WWE has enough guys who worked in ECW at some time or another to put on an entire show with their own crew, but it'd just be weird having an ECW show without Jerry Lynn, Sandman, Raven, etc. Plus, who knows if guys like Tommy Dreamer, Lance Storm, Tazz, or Sabu would be physically able to wrestle or not.

I don't mind having Kevin Nash on a wrestling show. I don't even mind him wrestling in a match, as long as it's a short tag match, and he doesn't squash or job out his opponents, and he cuts a funny promo beforehand. But I do NOT want to see Kevin "Organic Stilts" Nash wrestling in the main event... in a singles match... against another heel... for the heavyweight title... in which I'll hate the outcome no matter what the finish is.

Savannah, a bit to the southeast and warmer cuz it's on the coast, but yah it's still hovered stubbornly around freezing all day long.

You smoke all of them outside... in Canada?! How have you not frozen and shattered in a T-1000 manner by now?

These are by far the superior submissions: For the folders not mentioned above, I suggest the following: OAOAST: where even mentioning the second "A" can get you banned. Puroresu: aw hell with it, just click here instead Movies & TV: Joss Whedon & Kiefer Sutherland's cumdumpster Music: our obscure hipster indy tunes make us wanna la la TSM Archives & Classics: we're not even gonna pretend that anyone clicks on these Misc. Wrestling: post upcoming ROH cards & listen to Jingus brag about his wrestling "career"

God I hate big movie studios.

Why do you say that? Which is solely the fault of the Iraqi insurgents. If they weren't trying to murder every single member of the Iraqi government that they can find, maybe the candidates could actually come out of their houses without getting beheaded. Whoever gets the most votes wins the election. How else would you want a democracy to work?

What, you've never seen an Alexis Laree match before?