Jingus

I have never, ever heard any wrestler say "man, I'm so glad that I had a script telling me every single thing to do". Not once. From anyone. Meanwhile, I've heard countless workers say that the current Hollywood creative teams and their meticulous prefab writing are their least favorite thing about the business. Wrestling shouldn't be scripted just like other TV shows. Wrestling is at its very worst when it tries to be like other TV shows. Writing promos for a guy who can't talk is one thing, but Vince Russo writing promos for Jim Cornette AND writing out how the wrestlers should be working their matches is inexcusable. Look at any of the times Russo got physically involved in the ring: even aside from being slightly less athletic than me, he clearly had no instincts or understanding whatsoever of how in-ring action should go.

Yeah, weird how nobody else mentioned that. Oh. He was holding his hand up to cover up his mouth while calling a spot. It's an old veteran trick.

JBL's a perfectly decent brawler. A bit stiff, obviously, but he moves well for a guy of his size, age, and various injuries. One thing I didn't even notice until reading some reviews, and nobody else has noticed it either: no Hornswoggle tonight. Truthfully, did anyone miss him?

Wrestler of the year: don't really know who to pick here. My raging bias won't let me say Cena, and nobody else had an especially good year. Worst wrestler of the year: the Great Khali. I don't understand why anyone finds him entertaining. Most Improved Wrestler: John Cena. Who knew he had all those great PPV matches in him? Most Underachieving Wrestler: MISTERRR KENNEDY! The more I pay attention to his matches, the more it seems like he fucks up spots in every single match. ...KENNEDY! Best Tag Team: I want to say Londrick, but truthfully I gotta go with the reunited Hardy Boyz. Worst Tag Team: Deuce and Domino, easily. Way worse than anyone else. Fucking worthless. Best Heel: either Orton or watered-down Edge. Man, this year really has been mediocre. Best Face: I'd go with Jeff Hardy, he's really taken the ball and run with it. Best Diva: Mickie James, no contest whatsoever. Worst Diva: tough call, there are so many horrible ones. Kelly Kelly, just to pick one among many. Match of the Year: it hurts me to say it, but Cena vs. Umaga last man standing. Worst Match of the Year: pick your favorite Khali epic encounter. Quote of the Year: I don't really remember quotes. Insert Santino Line Here. Best Comeback: were there any? Jericho and Edge's happened too recently to judge. Mark out moment of the year: RVD's music hitting last week. Funniest moment of the year: Insert Santino Line Here. No, wait, Kane and Lita making the world's most awkward small talk. Best brand: Raw. I always prefer a live show, and Smackdown's roster has really been depleted this year. Worst brand: ECW. For the entire Lashley era, it was pure crap. Better now, but still not great. Best PPV: probably Wrestlemania. Worst PPV: there wasn't any particular HOLY SHIT THAT SUCKED type show this year, just several that were kinda blah. Pick your least favorite out of New Year's Revolution, No Way Out, Great American Bash, and Unforgiven. Best Feud: not many terribly memorable ones. Probably Matt vs. MVP. Worst Feud: Lashley vs. McMahon, just awful. Worst Moment of the Year: the shows in the wake of Vince blowing up, with the announcers talking in their "Owen just fell" voices and the ten-bell salutes and "Sherri Who died? we don't care" and jesus christ it made me want to break things. For the people seriously voting for Benoit, I don't think it should count since it wasn't part of the show.

ARGH. I just spent the past three days downloading all that, and none of it will play! Not on Windows Media Player or anything else I've got on here. How do I get these to work?

Halfway through, and they haven't mentioned it once. Is WOL always so insanely overloaded with commercials? Like, "worse than the old one-hour Impact" loaded with commercials. They've literally come back from a three-minute break, done two minutes of show, and gone on to a five-minute break.

How do you know?

It's most likely a fake, I doubt the matches are pre-scripted weeks ahead of time that ridiculously detailed, but it's still pretty damn amusing.

Styles is a perfectly good announcer who is ruined when he's shoehorned into calling it "WWE Style". Go back and listen to his great commentary on the first One Night Stand, and compare it to any of the lackluster work he does on Tuesday night. Yes, JR is getting old, and certainly has his share of flaws. But who the hell could possibly replace him in that spot? Not Styles, he tried and failed (partly due to Coach, but still, WWE Joey is inferior to Ross). Not Michael Cole, he's fucking terrible, an insincere phony-sounding goatteed little bitchboy who completely leans on his much more talented color commentators to sound even halfway competent. Not Todd Grisham, the very thought makes me want to go on a machete-swinging rampage. Not anybody I've heard on the indies, they just don't call it that way. For all the JR haterz, who is better?

If you look at my post real closely, you'll see a sailboat.

Looking around in the odd corners of the board, I found Tony149. He's still here, but all he does is post in the OAOAST folder. He never comes out to do anything else. I don't know whether to be impressed at his long-term determination or appalled at the shocking waste of it all.

tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr tl,dr

A wrestler DID die before that. Sherri Martel, remember? And the angle just kept chugging along. They didn't stop it until they were absolutely forced to by the Benoit situation. I've participated in 10-bell salutes to real dead people. As in, been the one actually ringing the bell for locals who were now in the ground. As far as I'm concerned, anyone who would do a fake 10-bell for "entertainment" purposes should go fuck themselves for being utter disgraces to humanity. As for Taz(z), everyone talks about how he couldn't do his suplexes anymore. Part of that is of course due to Vince taking one look at his 5'8" ass and going "aw HELL no that midget ain't gonna throw my giants around". But more often, smarks seem to take the position that he would've hurt someone with them. My rebuttal: exactly who in ECW did Taz legitimately injure by suplexing them?

They mean Japs.

Feel sad? She's sold over half a million downloads of an album where the entire selling point is that she's an absolutely worthless singer and the music is really, reall bad. That's a fairly impressive accomplishment.

Half of these have already been posted at some point, just go looking. You don't have to search the whole thread either, just the second half, the first 20 pages are all filled with dead Yousendit links. You are indeed a scholar and a gentleman, my fine sir. Anyone else got any leads on Chuck Taylor, Mickie Knuckles, or my sweet gothish goddess Daffney? Failing that, maybe a PM telling me where you're ganking stuff from so's I could look for meself? Why the hell is "Rapid"share so goddamned slow? Even compared to the semi-slothful Megaupload. Rapidshare only lets you download one file every couple hours, and when it's broken up into a couple dozen files like these shows tend to be, yeah, do the math.

I don't. In terms of the literal birth of Christ, Christmas has nothing to do with it. According to the Bible's account of Jesus carving his bloody way out of Mary's tiny virgin cooter, he wasn't born in the winter. The general scholarly consensus is that he was probably born in the spring. And not in 1 AD, more like 3-6 AD. The Catholic church basically made the whole holiday up. Why, you might reasonably ask? Because the early Christian church was pretty brilliant at incorporating aspects of other religions into itself in order to get the pagans to be more cooperative with the converting (like recasting the Germanic horned god into being the Devil). Christmas was originally the very pagan holiday of Yule, held at the same time (winter solstice), with many of its traditions still around today (the Yule log). So basically Christmas might as well be about reindeer and polar bears drinking Coke as be about Jesus, since the entire holiday is a human invention.

I bet it does. DOWN THERE. (You can make anything sound dirty just by adding a nice loud "down there!" afterwards. It's like a lazier version of the classic "...in bed naked".) The last time was... um... July? August? Sometime back when it was still ungodly hot. Probably whenever the last time was that I got fucked up and babbled at you until you logged off AIM, since I had that tendency whenever I went robotrippin'. Partly quit because you went on that big jihad against it, considering you were the one who first coached me on the subject. Partly just got tired of it.

It's weird looking back on all the people I haven't heard from in years. There's like a 3-to-1 ratio of people who've vanished into the mists of time compared to us losers who hung around. Whatever happened to Tony149 and Jaw Bower, anyway?

That doesn't sound exactly right, though. It said they'll be mailing checks to him, which means they wouldn't be made out by him, so I don't see how attempting to cash them would end up with him owing money. It's still clearly some sort of scam though, the "get rich by working 5 minutes per week" pretty much gives it away. I stand by my cocaine revenue laundry with high employee "turnover" theory.

Angle, Dudleys, and Christian's six-man are all shoe-ins. (Although considering the current storyline, I'd be interested to see if Christian and AJ don't become that pesky part of the card which is so damned subject to change.) Steiners, maybe, depending on if they ever made any progress on the rumored contract talks with Giant Prince Albernard. Also, since it's TNA, I wouldn't put it past them to do something dumb like decide that the fans would be confused if they saw Tomko teaming with someone other than AJ. Abyss is on the booking committee now, so his match has a shot, but I don't see New Japan letting him beat Nakanishi, and don't know if TNA would show their monster jobbing to some random foreigner. Christopher Daniels is probably screwed. The televised special is only supposed to be one hour long, and matches at the big Tokyo Dome shows tend to take up some time, so either they're clipping most of it to little bits or else they're just gonna show three matches.

Ah yes, back when I'd only gotten drunk like twice in my life and I'd yet to touch anything resembling a drug. The cold medicine is a weird coincedence, that was just a joke at the time.

It's probably a courier job delivering drug money, and the last guy got shot.

Hell, they already tried THAT too. Remember when they dressed up Austin Aries in all of Jesse Ventura's old gear and called him Austin Starr?

Meanwhile, on the other side of the tracks, at the library I used to post from I saw a homeless guy looking at porn. More than once.