Zack Malibu

Tomorrow's fine by me, as it'll give me time to finish up some In Crowd/Enterprise stuff building to it to flesh our angles out a bit more.

I believe the whole "WWF blocked a Rumble slot" angle could have been confused with when they did that to OVW in 2003. IIRC it was to be The Damaja (Danny Basham), but when plans changed Cornette turned it into a storyline. I had tons of Apter mags, WOW mags, WWF/E mags...collected them as a kid, and then used to get them for free when working for the wrestling company, since we'd advertise in there. I just got rid of a ton of them...I was going to put them on Ebay but they don't go for much, so they went out with the spring cleaning. I kept a ton though, just mostly those focusing mainly on guys I liked, or issues like the PWI 500.

With that time of year approaching, let us all gather and reflect on the incidents we so fondly (and maybe not so fondly) saw take place on this, our home away from home. -Banky got banned, to the joy of some and the disdain of others -Banky, despite being banned, still helped Dames after a major snafu, and was thus able to join us here again (much to the joy of some and the disdain of others) -The Cock Shots Thread -Mole being victimized by 75% of the TSM population, and various troll aliases -Name changes became the "in" thing to do -Tiffani Malibu -Actual rules and regulation were put into effect, after we had peple taking advantage of the "unwritten rules" of the board -No Holds Barred is no more. Say hello to Hardcore Discussion. -Eagan not taking a fucking hint. Ever. -Zack Malibu and Sass granted mod powers. -FOOSTER -ABOBO -PEOPLE WHO TYPE LIKE THIS AND IRRITATE OTHERS -The Saga, which at this rate will not be concluded until 2006 -Choken's call for a West Coast and/or an insomniac mod to patrol the board in the wee hours -Dave O'Neill-scourge of the TNA and indy folders -We rid ourselves of The Game -EvenflowDDT and Zack Malibu won the "Most Popular Poster" tourneys -Mario's consistent, nonsenical rantings -The Buffy thread gaining Classic status ...and more! Share your memories, quip about them, start a fucking flamewar, who cares! The year's almost over, so get it out of your system now.

I think this weeks ECW gave me my worst showing ever since this started. I wanted to stick it out with my team for this month since I seemed to have done well, but now with Bourne injured I'm rethinking that idea.

Here in Puerto Rico, the night is alive as we return to HeldDOWN~! Hotel guest, club goers, and diehard wrestling fans have converged towards this slice of paradise tonight not for a relaxing getaway, but for the action, drama, and sheer randomness brought to you by the OAOAST. COLE Last week on HeldDOWN~!, we went a little retro, as The In Crowd decided to dig into the vault and deliver a vintage performance as only they could. In the past, we had seen Zack Malibu, EvenflowDDT, Superstar and Alison deliver skits mocking various OAOAST talent utilizing popular movies, pop culture references...anything they could think of. Last week though, I think they took the cake by performing one of the greatest impressions in wrestling history. COACH Damn Cole, did Zack write that speech up for you? Nothing about that was funny. All it was was four guys jealous of The Enterprise looking like fools because they can't be at the top of the pecking order anymore! COLE You were laughing too, Coach. COACH Was not! It's...it's allergy season, man, I was sneezing and coughing, and... COLE ...lying through your teeth. Gotcha. Anyways, word has passed through the OAOAST that Theodore Moneymaker was certainly not happy with the portrayal of The Enterprise, and has promised to speak out on that issue tonight! We expect Mr. Moneymaker to... Suddenly, Cole is yanked up out of his seat by the collar, as Detective Tango Bosley stares him in the face. Alongside Bosley is Alison, and Theodore Moneymaker himself, looking none too happy. MONEYMAKER Mr. Cole, did you find last weeks incident funny? COLE I...I...uh... MONEYMAKER Put that waste back in his seat, Bosley. Bosley throws Cole back into his seat, and the crowd boos as Moneymaker heads into the ring. MONEYMAKER I know that you all found it funny last week. Oh, that Zack Malibu is soooooooo hysterical, isn't he? Dressing up like an idiot, trying to mock ME, a man who has everything? He thinks he and his band of cronies succeeded in doing something other than looking foolish last week? Zack Malibu, you claim that I have it out for you, so you attack me verbally, you insult a beautiful and intelligent woman simply because she doesn't want you anymore. Well Zack, the time has come. The time that you've been waiting for. You are going to meet your maker right here, tonight...IN THIS RING! Zack Malibu, I challenger...nay, I DEMAND that you get yourself down to this ring right now! Moneymaker, agitated, throws off his suit jacket and circles the ring, chastising fans who boo him. MONEYMAKER You SHUT UP. ALL OF YOU! I could own ALL of you. I could buy this damn island! I'll have you all working at Wendy's and mowing one of my many lawns, so help me! Moneymaker, frustrated, hands the mic to Alison, as he goes outside the ring and encounters some fans face to face, angered by their hatred of him. ALISON You people are PATHETIC. You look up to Zack Malibu like some sort of God, and for what reason? Are your lives that meaningless? Actually, no need to answer that, because it was a rhetorical question. Try looking it up when you're not dropping date rape drugs or flashing the Girls Gone Wild crew tonight! Of course people like you would worship Zack Malibu...you're a bunch of misguided, superficial... "Getting Away With Murder" interrupts the tirade of the In Crowd Original, and her face sinks into a look of scorn. Moneymaker rolls into the ring, and he and Bosley position themselves, ready for the appearance of the Modern Day Warrior. A crowd grows larger around the ring, as Zack Malibu and Sly Sommers, the latter still on crutches due to being clipped by Bosley several weeks ago, make their way out! COLE As if it wasn't hot enough here, things are heating up even more! MALIBU Moneymaker, Alison, Bosley...this is all so petty. We've been jawjacking, going back and forth, for weeks now. And maybe...maybe last week shouldn't have happened. I don't think The In-Terprise was such a good idea. Do you, Sly? SOMMERS Well...it was pretty funny, Zack. MALIBU Yeah, it was. But just think, it was time we couldn't have spent doing something constructive, like posting Alison's picture down at the free clinic as a warning to visitors... Alison's face twists into a sneer, as the crowd laughs at her expense. SOMMERS ...or heading to a thrift store for some of Don Johnson's old wardrobe. Bosley looks around for a moment, then realizes they're mocking his style choices. MALIBU Wait, wait...we're getting off track again. Now, if I heard right, a few minutes ago, Theodore Moneymaker wanted me to come down to this ring... Zack starts walking towards the ring, with Sly following behind him. MALIBU ...and meet my maker? Zack and Moneymaker go nose to nose, as the hard camera zooms in on the two. An eager crowd of natives and tourists start chanting "FIGHT!" repeatedly and loudly, but it doesn't drown out any of the tension. MALIBU Well, here I am. Here, we are, actually. Face to face. So what say we stop all this bickering, finger pointing, and name calling. Let's stop with the surprises and sneak attacks. There's nothing between us but air and opportunity tonight, Moneymaker. My schedule is clear, so let's make history tonight so that in the morning, when I pull out my "to-do" list, I can cross "Kick Theodore Moneymaker's ass" off of it! MONEYMAKER Aren't we the witty one. And aren't we the brave one. Oh yes, the superhero himself...the "Franchise", here to protect his good name by any means necessary. Well, Zack, that's good. Because I wasn't lying when I invited you out here for a fight...I just never said it was with ME. The crowd boos loudly, and Malibu almost looks like he expected this. MONEYMAKER For such a company man, you're certainly ready to make rash decisions, aren't you? Let's see, what's that saying you have? Good for business, bad for you? Zack, think about it. Do you honestly think that a man of my business acumen would waste his time facing off with you on free TV, in front of a handful of drunken co-eds? Don't you think that you and I, despite our distaste for each other, should be able to profit off of all this? MALIBU You're worried about a profit!? You know something, I may not have the money you have, but I'm certainly well off...and even if I wasn't, no paycheck in the world would be as sweet as cracking your jaw with the sole of my foot! Now, if you don't want to fight, that's fine...but just remember that now you have to live with the fact that you're a coward as well as an asshole! Moneymaker's face drops, and now the rowdy crowd picks up on the comment, starting a less family friendly chant than before. "ASSSSSSSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSSSSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSSSSSSS-HOLE!" Sly leads the chant from ringside, while Moneymaker gets up on the middle rope and hollers down at the fans. He climbs down and unbuttons his dress shirt, fuming over Malibu's challenge, and then throws the shirt in Zack's face! Malibu, momentarily distracted, pulls the shirt away...only to be leveled with a high kick from Bosley! COLE What the hell!

Most of them are the same size. The Jarrett one is pretty much just the '99-2000 era Jarrett figure redone. There was a line (series 5) of TNA figures that were made larger than normal due to some type of production error, and that was actually the best series in the whole lineup (it was the set with Samoa Joe, Lance Hoyt, James Storm, Kip James and someone else that I don't recall off the top of my head).

I'm guessing they were there as faces to ride off Snuka's popularity, since he was gone for a while around the time they came in due to his many issues. Regarding the action figures, Shane Douglas did have one produced by WCW, but it's so rare that even I don't have it. It was a set that had Kidman in New Blood attire, Vampiro with New Blood attire, Mike Awesome, and Shane. Only the Awesome one ever got released here (as a KB Toys exclusive) and Vampiro had already been available in another set. The last time I saw the Shane figure pop up on Ebay, it went for around $80 MOC.

I hated 3 at first, but after seeing 4 (which I loved) I have a little more appreciation for it. I don't get the hate for 2, I thought that one was probably the most intense, story wise. 3 dragged a lot and 4 had a good story, but it was a lot of backstory.

LOL. I just wanted to get the post up, that way I can try to get as much done while at work without forgetting about it until later.

Agreed with Doc here, Jake coming out and attacking Sting on Saturday night was awesome. It's too bad that between his own demons and this crapfest that Jake's awesome arrival in WCW was cut short.

WCW ruled. In Crowd in the house, doing what is tba!

I haven't watched this in a while (about a year ago I converted the original VHS to a DVD and sold the tape on Ebay), but I remember Rude/Chono being so damn boring. I was also greatly disappointed as a kid with the results of the Spin The Wheel match. And the end of the PPV with the snake "turning" on Jake and biting him was horrendously bad stuff.

Back here on HeldDOWN~!, everyone's favorite Tough Enough contestant turned interview extraordinaire, JOSH MATTHEWS~! is standing at center ring to welcome us back. JOSH Ladies and gentlemen, at this time, please welcome...The IN-TERPRISE~! COACH All right, The Enterprise comin' on out here again to show these people just who is in control of HeldDOWN~! COLE Did he say "Enterprise"? I swore he said...hahahaha, well now Coach, I think you better take a second look at your monitor! "Money Talks" by ACDC plays, and the crowd is not happy about it...until they see the group enter through the curtain. For the first time in their OAOAST tenure, The Enterprise gets a loud ovation from the crowd...but that's because we're not actually being blessed with the presence of Theodore Moneymaker's supergroup. The fans are laughing, clapping, and roaring, because four all-too familiar faces are coming out in place of the loathed members of The Enterprise. Leading the way is Zack Malibu, flashing wads of colored paper to the camera, decked out in a black suit with a top hat and carrying a cane as well. Behind him is Leon Rodez, sticking his chin up in the air and carrying a copy of Webster's dictionary as he walks slowly, doing his best to look studious. Bo and Sly round out the group, wearing what would normally take for stylish suits...if they weren't powder blue. Oh, and Sly's in blackface, so one can only guess that he's playing the part of CPA tonight! COACH What the...what is this crap!??!?! Moneymaker's gonna have their heads for this! The In Cr...whoops, IN-Terprise enter the ring, and Zack shakes Josh Matthews hand...cramming a blue fifty dollar bill into it, noticed by the zoom lens of the camera. COLE It's Monopoly money! COACH Ugh...how original. Josh just chuckles and heads out, leaving Zack with the mic, and a wild crowd cheering he and his cohorts on. MALIBU That's right, cheer, all you people. Cheer me because I am rich! Cheer me because I am powerful! Oh, and cheer the other members of my group, because I'm not paying them for nothing! For I am rich...RICH...RICHER THAN RICHIE RICH! I am THEODORE MONOPOLYMAN, AND THIS IS MY IN-TERPRISE~! COLE Theodore Monopolyman!? Well, that explains the top hat and cane! COACH You are just LOVING this, aren't you? MALIBU That's right, and nobody...not any of you, have more money than ME! Behold all of my income! I've got pink 5's, yellow 10's, blue 50's...wait, who the hell put a Get Out Of Jail Free card in with my weekly allowance!?!? Za...er, Monopolyman turns to face the other members of The In-Terprise, but they plead innocence, until Leon comes forth. LEON I say old chap, it was certainly not I, Christian Ebineezer Alistaire Mortimer Wright, Esq. For I would never allocate the transcendental epiphany of a dubious pontification! Oh, and furthermore... Leon/Wright quickly opens his dictionary, and starts thumbing through. LEON EXUBERANCE! Monopolyman pulls the mic away, looking at Leon oddly. MALIBU Yes, well...what he said! Here you go old chap...here's a $100 bill. Use it as a bookmark for all I care, because there is plenty more where that came from. Especially since I'M RICH~! Monopolyman puts his hands on his hips, posing as if he's just conquered Mt. Everest, until the mic is rudely snatched away from Bohemoth, looking a little less like the Metrosexual Monster he is in the powder blue suit. BOHEMOTH I think it's about time that I got a chance to speak! I'm more than just atmosphere here! I'm more than just a henchman! I'm Detective Tango Bos...Tango Bos...Boszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. In what may be a HeldDOWN~! first, a wrestler falls asleep at the mic, as Bo's head slumps over in mid-promo! Thinking fast, Monopolyman slaps him across the back of the head, waking him up. MALIBU THAT'S why we don't let you talk! I mean, not only are you not RICH~!, but you're so boring you even put yourself to sleep! I mean, certainly if you were worth your salt as a detective, you would have found some charisma by now! Saddened, Bo-sley goes over to the corner and leans on the top rope, putting his head down as if he's in a time out! MALIBU That's right, you bury your head over there and realize that you are simply an associate. You are being paid for a service, and rather well I might add because I'M RICH~! Again, Monopolyman poses proudly, until the mic is taken by Sly Sommers, clad in blackface. SLY Oh you're rich all right. You've got our pockets lined pretty heavily with that cold, hard, Parker Bros. cash, brother. BUT, let's not forget... MALIBU Speaking of forgetting, what was your name again? SLY Why, I'm the CPA, partner of the AMOG. We make up the VICE? So RSVP ASAP, OK? Monopolyman looks around, bewildered. MALIBU Were you talking to me or reading an eye chart? Suddenly, Leon strolls over. LEON FLOCCI­NAUCINI­HILIPIL­IFICATION~! Monopolyman wipes the spit out of his eye after the pronounciation of that one. MALIBU What!? LEON FLOCCI­NAUCINI­HILIPIL­IFICATION~! MALIBU I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME! What does it mean, exactly? LEON It...I mean, uh... Leon pulls back, and starts thumbing quickly through his dictionary again. MALIBU Now let's see, one, two three...BOSLEY GET BACK IN THAT CORNER! Bo-sley, who turned around to come back and join his stablemates, puts his head low and goes back to standing in the corner on a timeout. MALIBU Four of us...OH! I almost forgot...but that tends to happen when YOU'RE RICH LIKE ME~! We're missing somebody! We're missing Alison! SLY Mr. Monopolyman, sir...truth be told I think EVERYONE forgot about Alison! All Zack can do is nod in agreement to that one, as the crowd gets a chuckle out of it. MALIBU Even so...Alison, sweetheart, please come out and join us! "Money Talks" hits again, and out comes...an OAOAST staff member, walking a Golden Retriever on a leash! COLE Oh my, hahahaha. I really don't think this is going over well with certain people. Leon and Sly group up with Zack, and start to come "out of character" for the segment, as they look a little perturbed by this. SLY Zack, don't you think we're taking this a little too far? I mean, a dog to play Alison? MALIBU Well, yeah...I mean, we had to. LEON Because she's a bitch, right? Malibu's eyes widen, as if he can't believe Leon just said that, but it's understandable given Leon's recent state of mind. MALIBU No Leon, that's not why. SLY Wait, I get it...she's a little on the...ahem...hairy side, Zack??! MALIBU What, NO! No guys, I mean I think it's obvious to everyone in this arena why we chose a female dog to portray Alison tonight...because not a single female back there in that locker room would want to be compared to her, even as a joke! Sly and Leon look at each other, and do the "oooooooooooh" style reaction. MALIBU OK, um...we're getting to serious here guys. Let's just, uh, let's forget that happened people, OK? I'll make it worth your while, hang on a second! Monopolyman puts down the mic and jumps out of the ring, and runs around ringside, handing the Monopoly money to eager fans at ringside! He then rolls back into the ring, just as Bo-sley is about to pick up the mic. MALIBU GET BACK IN THAT CORNER! BOHEMOTH But...I HAVE A BADGE! Bo-sley reaches into the pocket of his awful looking suit, and pulls out a plastic, star shaped badge. MALIBU So you do...wait, Sherriff!? You're a DETECTIVE! THIS BADGE ISN'T REAL~! Zack takes the badge and hums it like a Chinese star out into the crowd. MALIBU Bo-sley, what exactly DO you bring to the table for The In-Terprise? Bo-sley puts his hand on his chin and ponders this, until Leon runs over. LEON An estimation of something as worthless! Malibu does a double take, not sure what he's talking about. MALIBU Come again? What exactly are you talking about? LEON FLOCCI­NAUCINI­HILIPIL­IFICATION~! That time, Zack takes Bo's jacket and wipes his face off, as Leon wipes the drool from his lips. MALIBU OK, maybe we should stop now. LEON I promise not to enunciate as much. MALIBU No, Leon...I mean, fun's fun, but now...now we can get down to business. I think that we've entertained everyone here tonight with an accurate portrayal of The Enterprise, have we not? The crowd roars with approval, as The In Crowd stand in center ring. MALIBU Moneymaker, as you can see, we've got a sense of humor about things...except when someone wants to make things personal. You want to make me your main target, try to deface my character and use my girlfriend and my baby as a lure to feed into your little quest to reveal me as some type of villain? You've got your wish, pal. You can bring Alison back, you can surround yourself with intellectuals and bodyguards and detectives and whatever you want to classify your...ahem...associates as long as you want. The truth is, no person, no amount of money, NOTHING can protect you once I finally get my hands on you, and when that happens, Teddy, I promise you...it'll be no laughing matter. Every man in this ring may have individual goals, but collectively, we forge a cohesive unit based on the one thing that you won't ever get from me, Sly, Leon, Bo, or any of these people filling these seats. You will never, Teddy, EVER, have respect. You will never have the adulation, you will never hear the crowd chant your name, because no amount of money can buy that, Teddy. You are looking at four men who have gone through hell and back, and if you think you can do better than those that fell before you, then try us. Push us to our limits, put our backs to the wall, because so help me God, the money in your pocket isn't what makes up this company. You want to try and get control, you want to slide into Anglesault's chair...well I've got news for you. This company is fueled on OUR blood, OUR sweat, and OUR tears, and we're not going to give that up to you. If I were you, I'd keep your cash in your pocket and the eyes in the back of your head wide open, because your day is coming. As for Alison, and your little exposes lately...say what you want. Moneymaker may as well have his hand up your ass because all you got brought back for was to be his ventriloquists dummy, spouting half-truths and outright lies to try to paint a darker picture of Zack Malibu. Keep talking, Alison, and I promise you, that eventually your mouth will write a check that even Mr. Moneybags over there won't be able to cash! Having made his point, Malibu stares coldly into the hard camera, flanked by his three best friends. "Popular" hits, and The In Crowd, having just shown The Enterprise they're not playing around, exit the ring to the cheers of the capacity crowd. COLE A vintage In Crowd promo, and The Enterprise...oh, they're going to be steaming after that one! COACH That was SO uncool. COLE Coach, I saw you cover your mouth so that you wouldn't laugh into your mic! COACH I did no such thing! Why you gotta blow up a brotha's spot, Mikey!?

We return from break only to be greeted by the first appearance on this show in over five years of a former fan favorite. Zack Malibu's former girlfriend, and the original In Crowd's valet, Alison, is standing in the ring, showered with boos. Standing alongside her is the leader of The Enterprise, Theodore Moneymaker, who has made Zack Malibu a target after ousting Malibu's close friend Anglesault from power in the OAOAST. ALISON It seems like it only took a handful of days for you people to be brainwashed by your precious savior. So go ahead, boo me, people. Boo me, but when you come to realize the truth of what I said this past Sunday night, don't expect me to accept the apologies! Whether Alison thought that would help or not, it doesn't, because the boos continue. ALISON I heard Zack earlier, and all I have to say is...does Zack even KNOW what he's talking about lately? First, he tries to save face by saying he never had anything bad to say about me...and then he proceeds to go on and try to verbally tear me apart? As if I CARE what he thinks anymore? COLE Well, she certainly did at one point...and I think she missed the part of Zack's promo where he said his anger stems from his family being brought into this. COACH Excuses, excuses. ALISON I have news for you, Zackary. If you thought Zero Hour was a one time thing, a chance meeting of two former friends, well, you're wrong. Thanks to Mr. Moneymaker and thanks to Josie...a woman who Zack once assaulted on a pay per view broadcast that you people all paid for, mind you...I am now once again a contracted member of the OAOAST! COLE What!? She's back for good? COACH Ha ha! It keeps getting better and better! Well, worse if your name is Zack Malibu! Moneymaker cackles, as Alison smiles proudly. The fans continue booing...at least until "Getting Away With Murder" kicks in, bringing them to their feet! COLE Heeeeeeeere we go. Malibu comes out, walking slowly to the ring, while Moneymaker leads Alison by the arm to the far side, acting as her protector despite using her to keep Malibu at bay just a few days ago. Zack rolls into the ring and stares the two of them down, while Teddy and Alison seem disturbed by the interruption. MALIBU For the benefit of those who missed the pay per view and your grand return, Alison, let me give a brief recap of the latest happenings between Zack Malibu and Theodore Moneymaker. Let's see...Moneymaker starts coming after me, calling me a fraud, airing old footage of me, trying to paint me in a bad light? I'm doing good so far, right? Then, I rebuke his claims, and he follows up by airing more footage, spewing more crap...but yet won't get in the ring with me at Zero Hour. Oh no, he can't do that he says, because he's got something up his sleeve that's going to rock my world! So Zero Hour comes, and I have to come face to face with my past...and here you come, five years after the last phone call I left you and NOW you want to talk. Except this time...this time you're MEAN! You're mad at me, you're spinning it around as if I kicked you to the curb, when the fact is that YOU WALKED AWAY FROM ME. Now, maybe you coming back was supposed to stir something in me. Maybe it was supposed to emotionally cripple me, but it didn't. It can't, and that's because I stopped giving a DAMN about you five years ago! Even Moneymaker's jaw drops at the bluntness, while Alison's eyes squeeze into a vicious glare. MALIBU I got over you a LONG time ago, Alison. I left you to live the life that YOU wanted, not a life I threw you into. If you think you made a wrong decision with me, then fine, that's your choice. Personally though, I think the only wrong decision you've made is by hooking up with this clown, just to get a few extra bucks in your pocket! ALISON Honestly Zack, do you think this is about the money? Do you think for one second I'm some charity case, some girl down on her luck because her boyfriend abandoned her years ago? Don't flatter yourself! I've done perfectly well for myself since you last saw me. I've lived a great life, and I continue to do so. I'm back because I couldn't stand to see you out here anymore lying to everyone's face! That shining armor you supposedly wear is tarnished, Zack. You are FAR from the hero you position yourself as! MALIBU What are you people, starting a cult or something? You're OBSESSED with this hero-worship deal. I said it before, Moneymaker is obsessed with my status in this company. He's trying to rewrite history, and I've gotta say, you're pretty damn motivated, Teddy. But bringing in my ex-girlfriend does not get you any closer to being me than wearing an In Crowd shirt does. Moneymaker becomes agitated, and takes the mic from Alison. MONEYMAKER Again, you flatter yourself Zackary by actually thinking I'm trying to be like you. Zack, I'm already ABOVE you. I've surpassed you in social status, wealth, and power. My star shines brightly in the sky, while yours crashed to earth a long, long time ago. You're at the end of your rope, because for every foe you've vanquished, they've chipped away just slightly at that shining armor you claim to wear. Men like Stephen Popick, Bruce Blank, women like Crystal, they all have something in common. At one point in time, they brought out your dark side. You say that it's something that only surfaces when you're pushed too far, as if you're Bruce Banner morphing into the Incredible Hulk. The truth is, Zack, is that the only side you have IS that dark side, but you put a fresh coat of paint on it and smile to the fans, and they gobble it up because they don't want to believe they've been led on! The only reason you get cheered is because of their own personal guilt, knowing that they're fools for doing so! The crowd is not happy with being called fools, and let Moneymaker know so. MONEYMAKER SHUT UP! I swear, you'll all be thanking me one day, soon enough. Because Zack Malibu's time as The Franchise of the OAOAST is coming to an end. I promise you, Zack, I PROMISE YOU, that we will meet in this ring, where I can overshadow you with my physical acumen. Until then, though, I'll continue to find proof that exposes you as a fraud. I'll spare no expense at showcasing you at your very worst! MALIBU Put any spin on it that you'd like, Moneymaker. Have me face my past week after week. Bring back Popick, bring back Blank, bring back Mario Logan or Green Mist for all I care! Let's face it, while you're busy living in MY past, I'm standing here in the present, ready, willing and way more than able to prove myself to you and kick your ass while doing so! Malibu drops the mic, done with his retort, and turns his back to Moneymaker and Alison. The leader of The Enterprise and the recently rehired valet talk off-mic, as Malibu ducks out of the ring and stares at them one last time, his body langauge showing them he means business before walking away.

I think we did a fashion topic a long, long time ago here. The only reason I recollect it is because people seemed shocked that I owned so many sneakers/shoes for whatever reason. Fashion-wise, I'm in a slight transition phase with my casual wear. I'm slowly edging out a lot of the "gimmicky" types of t-shirts I would wear in favor of solid colors, or nice designs/patterns but not with logos or catchphrases smeared all over them. I've always been a bit of a prep (for the 3.7 of you who didn't know that) so I have an immense collection of button down shirts. At last count, I legitimately had around 75 in active rotation hanging in my closet. I like polo shirts in the summer, but honestly I'm not much of a fan of them. In a worst case scenario, I'd more often than not just wear a long sleeve button down with the shoulders rolled up. Regarding the longsleeves talk, I love longsleeve t-shirts even in fairly warm weather (I'll rock a cargo shorts/longsleeve combo during the fall). I'll also do the double layer and short sleeve over a longsleeve look. I rock the jeans/button down look more than anything. I've got a good stock of jeans (around 12 pairs) but some are started to feel their use. For some reason I have a tough time finding my jean size these days, despite me being an average 33x34. I'm fine with a 32x34 for some stores, but I'm picky about my jeans. I just find some more comfortable than others, so most pairs have come from Express or American Eagle. Same goes for dress pants. For some reason Express hates the 34 length, so I buy my dress pants from there in size 33x32, which works though since I don't want them to look too baggy. I've rarely worn hats since I went with the close crop look 3 years ago, so I've bought only a handful of hats since 2005. I love a good hoodie too. I've got a good 12 of them, some that I'll actually wear out on a casual night out, and some that are reserved for lounging around on a cold day. Footwear I've got a pretty large rotation. Off the top of my head: 2 pairs Aldo boots 1 pair Aldo dress shoes 1 pair Skechers sneakers 5 pairs of Skechers casual/dress shoes in various colors and looks 2 pairs of Adidas Superstars (one pair with black stripes, the other with blue) 1 pair Skechers boots (for winter, they're the workboot style) 1 pair Mossimo black casual dress shoes 2 pairs of dress shoes, 1 black and 1 brown (can't recall the designers) 1 pair white Nike Cortez's ...and I'm missing a few, I'm sure. Keep in mind that in addition to whatever I wear on a regular basis from my closet, I've got about 4 more storage bins full of clothes that I'll rotate (some with seasonal stuff like sweaters, shorts, hoodies, etc., others with more t-shirts, casual button downs).

Backstage, JOSH~! joins us, flanked by four of the top talents in the OAOAST today. Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, Sly Sommers and Bohemoth, collectively known as The In Crowd, flank the famed interviewer. JOSH Ladies and gentlemen, here with me at this time are The In Crowd. Guys, I think it's safe to say that it's been an interesting week in your lives. Bohemoth went through a war this past Sunday night, Sly's been temporarily put on the shelf, Reject is doing his best to crack Leon, and Zack, you had to deal with the shocking return of a key person from your past, that being your former girlfriend and the valet of the original In Crowd, Alison. MALIBU Josh, saying that it's been a rough week is putting it lightly. Last week, no thanks in part to Theodore Moneymaker and his hired help, Sly Sommers suffered a knee injury that's going to put him on the shelf for a little bit. Now, Sly's still here, he's not going to sit at home and cry about this. In fact, we had to force him to use these crutches, and the only reason he did so is because he's looking to break one across Bosley or Moneymaker's head! Bohemoth...well, the big man came through once again this past Sunday night, showing why he's a driving force in the OAOAST. If anyone knows what he can do in that ring, it's me. I've kicked ass with him and had my ass kicked by him, and I think it goes without saying I'd take the former over the latter! Leon...Leon's got some issues that are going to be resolved tonight, because he's going to be isolated in that ring with nowhere to go except head on, straight at Reject, and make him pay for his action. So let me see, I covered Bo, covered Sly, covered Leon...OH! I guess that leaves me. JOSH And Alison. MALIBU Thanks for the reminder, Josh. See, honestly...I don't have anything bad to say about Alison. Actually, let's back that up. I DIDN'T have anything bad to say about Alison until this past Sunday night. I know Moneymaker's game. If anyone has been using his pull...or in his case, his wallet, to get ahead around the OAOAST, it's that guy. All he's doing is trying to defer the blame, trying to transfer his own guilt onto ME, and try to make me feel like I've wronged the people in this locker room. He's trying to make me feel like I've wronged the fans. The thing is, Teddy, is that being popular, being respected, and being a saint are entirely different things. I know what I've done in the past, I don't need to be reminded of it. Bringing Alison out, well, honestly, it wouldn't have mattered...at least not until she opened her mouth. It's obvious she's coming here ready to spew hellfire, feeling neglected and dejected. Truth is, SHE walked out on ME five years ago, and I was the one left hanging. So what did I do? I focused on my career, I got over it, and realized that if she was someone who truly loved me, she would have stood by me. Instead, I found the love of my life in this very company. I found a woman who was willing to stand by me. A woman who, bless her heart, has gone through HELL simply because she's my significant other. And together, we had the most beautiful baby in the world. A baby that I love more than anything...that I will go to any length to protect. So Moneymaker brings out Alison, and then the focus is put not only on me, but on my family. Well, Moneymaker and Alison, you can say whatever you want. You can believe what you will. Just be warned that you're walking a very fine line right now. Things are getting a little too personal, and when that happens, you just might get your wish. You just might see the Zack Malibu that you're painting me to be. Ruthless. Cold. Calculating. I can be that guy again if you want. So keep pushing. Keep coming at me, keep crossing the line. I dare you. I BEG YOU, Moneymaker, to step into my world and see what it's like to have to earn your spot. Only thing is, the spot you've earned is an eternity in your own personal hell. Because when I humble you, Teddy, no money can cover it up. When that money runs out, your friends will vanish, because you don't have friends like I do, Teddy. My friends right here...they RESPECT me. You think Wright, or Bosley RESPECT you? Maybe they do, as long as you keep the checks coming...but when the accounts are drained and you're down to your last dollar, reality is going to slap you in the face and you're going to spend the rest of your life cold, broke, and ALONE. Call me a fraud? Hey, it's simply my opinion. But until you set foot in that ring with me, until you're ready to back up these claims with proof other than the actions of a misguided man in years past, calling you a coward is a FACT. Zack turns and gives Josh a quick glare, as Matthews backs up, looking slightly intimidated by his friends words. Zack, Leon and Sly start to walk off, while Bo gives Josh a playful pat on the back, starting the interviewer, as we cut to commercial.

Today's topic deals with my favorite wrestler ever. By spring of 1996, Brian Pillman had made himself into the most controversial superstar in wrestling thanks to the worked-shoot angle that he, Kevin Sullivan, and Eric Bischoff were proudly showcasing in WCW. Pillman knew that he needed to increase his exposure somehow so that he could get the big money that others in WCW were getting at the time, and this was his way to do it...although that big money wound up coming from the WWF once Pillman managed to swerve Bischoff into giving him a legitimate release, supposedly as part of the shoot angle. Also in the spring of '96, Pillman wrecked his Humvee, getting thrown from the vehicle and messing up his body badly. It also led to an increase in his addictions, as he couldn't deal with the pain from the accident and tried to rush himself into better health to get back on TV and prove himself still worthy of the spot he made for himself. He was signed to a WWF contract and made appearances on crutches for months simply to prove his worth. Now, we all know how Pillman's story ends...but...what if that wreck never happened? What if a healthy, active, ready to wrestle Brian Pillman was the one who made ECW appearances and signed with the WWF...not the one stuck in a wheelchair or on crutches? What would have happened if Pillman could have gotten right into the ring? With the losses of Hall and Nash coming up, as well as the punishment of HHH for a year, would Pillman just slide into one of their spots, or would he be humbled into starting from the ground up like oh so many wrestlers who jumped to the WWF from a competitor? Would he have been a superstar of the Attitude Era? Would he have stuck by his best friends, The Harts, during the Montreal Screwjob? Would he have had a dream feud with Austin once the latter's star took off?

Count me in on this. The Pride of Bayside: Chris Jericho 9m--9m Kelly Kelly 3m--12m Evan Bourne 4.5m--16.5 R-Truth 4.5m--21m Shelton Benjamin 5m--26m Carlito 3.5m--29.5 Ted DiBiase 5m--34.5m Manu 3m--37.5m Brie Bella 2.5m--40m Matt Hardy 6m--46m Santino Marella 4m--50m

is there a spot the Zack/Moneymaker segment can be edited in, since we have a lot of long posts and that segment is a doozie in itself. Plus, it has the SHOCKING EVENTS~! that people need to see!

It was much, much easier when I worked at the wrestling company, had my own office, and was able to write up anything I needed to and also be able to post HeldDOWN~! at a reasonable time. Now that I've got a big boy job where my ability to write something up is hit or miss, it puts a strain on it, but I try to get everything done ASAP. I think universally, it's just a matter of us all getting a little bit older, gaining some more responsibilities, and doing what we can with our writing.

Another Saturday, another topic...this one actually came as a request, so I hope it spurs some good discussion. In 1994, one of the greatest in ring performers of all time had to hang up the tights due to a back injury sustained in a match with Steve Austin. Now, let's think what would have happened had The Dragon not gotten that injury that forced him into retirement and could continue to wrestle. Would Jim Duggan have ever gotten the US Title (and would Steve Austin ever jobbed out in seconds to him?) Would he be pushed as much amidst the Hogan era, or shunted into the background? Would Steamboat, the ultimate babyface, be able to handle the NWO invasion less than two years later? How would you have him carry on if he were able to?

"Sympathy For The Devil" hits, and we now take a break from in-ring action, as the arrival of the Enterprise CEO is not for a match, but for a personal vendetta. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to Zero Hour...THEODORE MONEYMAKER! Resounding boos follow the announcement from the best ring announcer in the business, as Moneymaker cockily swaggers his way down the aisle. Stepping into the ring, Moneymaker appears to want to get right to business, claiming the microphone from the legendary Buffer. MONEYMAKER These past few weeks, I have heard nothing but disdain for my decision to be here tonight. I have heard people have the audacity to claim that I would not sign on for a match with Zack Malibu tonight at Zero Hour because I fear him. Right now, I ask that you people get those twisted thoughts out of your head, and do it quick! To think that a man of my stature lives in fear of a worthless pretender, a FRAUD like Zack Malibu, is purely ridiculous! My not signing a contract for a match is going easy on Zackary Malibu, though, because what he has to face tonight is much, much worse. Tonight, Zack Malibu will come face to face with all of his past deeds. Tonight, karma catches up with Zack Malibu, and he will have hell to pay for the lies, for the cheating, the assaults, the attacks, the pulling strings to get his way...tonight Zack Malibu realizes that his own worst enemy was never Stephen Popick, or Crystal, or Bruce Blank, oh no. Tonight Zack Malibu will have to realize that his own worst enemy is his very own self! The fans boo loudly, not satisfied with Moneymaker's excuse for not competing tonight, nor are they happy with his verbal attack on Zack Malibu. MONEYMAKER Go ahead! Go ahead and boo me, hate me, jeer me for revealing the God's honest truth to you people! You're booing because you don't want to admit you've been had! You people can claim that Zack Mailbu is your hero, your savior, your Franchise, but who deemed him fit for that? Ask yourselves that question...how did a man like Zack Malibu become the saving grace of the human race? Because of meticulous planning, of brainwashing, of shoving himself down your throats and spouting his own personal gospel enough that you believed it! I've got news for you people. You turn on your TV's and see Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin and think they're funny, but guess what...THEY'RE NOT REAL. You flip over to see the CSI time crack the big case or to see Lucas and Peyton get back together on One Tree Hill, but THEY'RE NOT REAL. You are laughing, you are crying, you are cheering for FICTIONAL CHARACTERS who have taken over your emotions, just like Zack Malibu! The Zack Malibu that comes out here each and every week, the Zack Malibu that's such a nice guy, that lives, breathes, and bleeds the OAOAST is FICTIONAL. He is a scripted scene of the American dream, people! He's everything that you schlubs in the seats and at home wish you were, he's good looking enough that the women go nuts for him, but that whole "poster boy" act is just that. It's an ACT, people. The REAL Zack Malibu is the one that crept out four years ago, when he blasted Crystal, a WOMAN, with his title belt! The REAL Zack Malibu is the one that got Sly Sommers kicked out of the OAOAST...THE SAME SLY SOMMERS THAT'S HIS BEST FRIEND NOW, MIND YOU...for speaking the truth about him during an interview! The Zack Malibu you all know gets verbally fellated by Michael Cole on television every week, the same Michael Cole that used to have his ass mocked and kicked by the real Zack Malibu! The real Zack Malibu claims to be there for his friends, but how much of a role model can you be when you associate with porn stars and addicts? Zack Malibu is not good for this company, he is not good enough for you people, and he has used his influence to destroy lives, destroy careers. As a pillar of the OAOAST, I can not, I shall not, and I will not let that happen Zack! Tonight, I ask you...I urge you to come to this ring and live up to that fearless attitude that you preach to those who are easily deceived! Come to this ring, Zackary, and face karma in its purest form, because tonight is the night that you are finally exposed! No longer will people have to be wary of my word! No longer will you be able to keep up this facade! Tonight, Zack Malibu shall be seen as the cutthroat that he is! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~! COLE Moneymaker is way out of line tonight. We know Zack's made mistakes in the past. Zack knows that more than anyone, but I'd say over the past several years he's made his amends. Seriously, when was the last time The Thrillogy were even mentioned until now!? COACH It ain't all about that Mikey Cole. Whether you wanna talk about Zack's arrival in 2002, his first title win in 2003, The In Crowd then and now, The Thrillogy, whatever the case...the whole time, Zack's been lying to these people. When brother finally snapped, that was the realest you and I have ever and will ever see him, and that's truth. There's a ton of heat in the arena at this point, and not just the kind that'll make you sweat. Moneymaker is being soundly booed by the fans for his blasphemy, but simply mentions "you'll see" to them as he waits. The crowd is buzzing, booing, and waiting, wanting to see the rich superstar smacked once or twice for his words, and when "Getting Away With Murder" hits, the crowd explodes, as they're going to get their wish. COLE You want to talk about truth, Cole, the truth is that if I were Theodore Moneymaker, I'd be a little on edge right now! Zack is clad in jeans and a t-shirt...not exactly formal wear but he's ready for a fight in case one breaks out. Judging by the expression on his face, there's a strong possibility one will, as he is none too happy with the slanderous Moneymaker's verbal barrage. The fans roar as Zack steps into the ring and stands face to face with Moneymaker, who then turns away to grab another mic, handing it to Zack with a sly, sinister smile. MONEYMAKER You're going to need that, Zack. At least for now, because I guarantee you by the time this is over, you're going to be speechless! MALIBU Is that the best you've got? MONEYMAKER Oh I've got... *SMACK~!* Malibu levels Moneymaker with a slap, and ol' Teddy doesn't take too kindly to having his jaw knocked out of place! MALIBU I'M talking now, because I have heard ENOUGH of you. These people have heard enough of you! MONEYMAKER No, these people have not heard enough, because they haven't heard enough of the TRUTH! You do a good job of putting the blinders on them Zack, but face it, all this, this superhero routine, it's just a cover up! MALIBU A cover up? A cover up of what, exactly? You come out here week after week, claiming that I'm some type of antichrist. That everything I say or do is for show. You've convinced yourself that I'm living a lie, and why exactly? Let's face it Theodore, it boils down to nothing but simple, petty, jealousy! The crowd "oohs", "aahs", and cheers, while TM looks incredulous to that accusation. MONEYMAKER JEALOUS? Of YOU? Now, why, Zackary, would a man of MY stature have to be jealous of you? I can afford the clothes you wear. I have more God given talent in my billion dollar body than you could learn with twenty years of wrestling training. I can get a better looking girl any night of the week than your little trollup at home, and don't have to worry about them being damaged goods like yours became when she popped out your hellspawn! Malibu, incensed now, turns away...then CLOCKS Moneymaker with a right hand! Zack goes after him, but Moneymaker rolls out of the ring, avoiding the assault! MALIBU THAT'S why your jealous, Teddy! You talk about my family all you want, but the last guy who got them involved hasn't been seen in almost two years! You want to bash me, fine. I'm all for it, I've been through it, and I can prove you wrong any day of the week! You might not be jealous of my bank account, and you sure as hell aren't good enough to be a family man or a father. But you're jealous of the fact that I didn't need my money to prove myself. I didn't need to buy anyone off or sign a paycheck to get people to join The In Crowd, or any other faction I've been a part of. I never had to ask to become the driving force of the OAOAST, it was an HONOR, Teddy, an HONOR given to me by the guy who started this company! MONEYMAKER And where is he now, Zack? He's out, he's gone! MALIBU Because of YOU, and again, because of you're jealousy! You hate the fact that you can't bribe me and get me on your payroll. You hate the fact that I've made an honest living out of my career in the OAOAST... MONEYMAKER HONEST? Zack, you are anything but! You're not honest to the locker room, you're not honest to these people, and you're not honest with yourself! MALIBU Strong words coming from a guy who has to buy his way out of trouble! MONEYMAKER Don't mock me for using my money wisely, Zackary. Tonight, you're going to wish you could buy your way out of trouble, believe me. You and I, we're not going to see eye to eye on this, and I know that these fools in the building and at home won't take my word for something, so. It's time. It's time for you to face your past not with another highlight reel of your misdeeds. Tonight, Zack Malibu is going to be exposed for the selfish bastard unworthy of his place in life! Zack Malibu, please turn to the entranceway. Malibu, weary of an attack, slowly turns around, but Moneymaker stays out on the floor. MONEYMAKER I told you that tonight, it would be Zero Hour for you, Zack. Tonight, someone who knows you much better than I do has agreed to expose you. Someone once beloved by these fans. Someone once beloved...by YOU. Malibu, perplexed by that statement, turns to the entry way, where a rather attractive woman in her late 20's appears. Though she looks a little different, it's quite obvious to Zack and many of the longtime fans who it is, as we're able to see by their shocked reactions. MONEYMAKER Never expected THIS, did you, Zack? The person who once knew you better than anyone in this world. Every deep dark secret hidden in your heart and mind was shared with her. You LOVED her, Zack, and you left her sitting by the phone, waiting for a call that never came! You abandoned her for the sake of your own damn career! Now, face your mistakes, Zack. Face your past, because I would now like to announce that I, Theodore Moneymaker, have brought back the one part of The In Crowd that you forgot when you decided to reform it. Zack Malibu, ladies and gentlemen of the viewing audience, please welcome back...ALISON! COACH Ha ha! Your boy Zack never saw this one coming, did he, Mikey Cole? COLE I don't think ANY of us saw this, Coach? Bruce Blank, EvenflowDDT, Stephen Popick...I think those were all names we expected. Some conspiracy theorists even suggested Anglesault himself was in cahoots with Moneymaker, but...Alison? Alison is led by the hand by Moneymaker, and goes up the steps and gets into the ring. Moneymaker hands her his mic and stands on the apron, his face overcome with glee, as Malibu remains confused and angered in the ring. ALISON Hello, Zack. MALIBU What are you doing here, with him? ALISON Wow, the jealousy just comes right out now, doesn't it? Don't worry Zack...I assure you it's strictly a business relationship with Moneymaker, but then again, why would you care? MALIBU You know I didn't mean it like that. I mean, what are you doing with him? Why are you, of all people, siding with this piece of... ALISON Hold on, Zack. Let's have a little history lesson here. Let's explain to those who don't know the truth just why they haven't seen me in FIVE YEARS. Let's explain to the world how you left me, Zack. I did EVERYTHING for you. Being with you tore my family apart, thanks to my psycho brother and you and Evenflow's wars with him. It was because of YOU that Evenflow snapped and became a man that I was afraid of. I sought solace with you, Zack. I trusted you. I LOVED YOU. YOU, however...you thought highly of no one but yourself, and left me to rot! MALIBU I left YOU to rot? July 24, 2003, Alison. That was the last time I ever saw you or said a word to you. That was the night that YOU decided that YOU needed to get out of this business. That life was hard on you. On that night, I stood by, wanting to help you but knowing I couldn't. You asked me to stand by you and I said I would, but then it was YOU who stopped returning calls, it was YOU who stopped showing up at arenas... ALISON ...and it was YOU who hooked up with that tramp right after? Malibu is incensed, as Alison is now targeting the woman he loves. The mother of his child. MALIBU Don't... ALISON Don't what, Zack? Mock your wife? Oh wait, that's right...YOU'RE NOT MARRIED? I guess it's only fitting that a bastard like you has a bastard child. Moneymaker starts laughing, and when Zack makes a move, he plants himself behind Alison, using her as a shield, drawing the ire of the crowd yet again. ALISON Let's face it, Zack. The reason you left me is the same reason you leave her at home, watching your demon spawn. It's the reason why you're too much of a coward to put a ring on her finger and enter the union of marriage. It's the same reason why Theodore Moneymaker found me and brought me here. It's because the only person that matters to Zack Malibu IS Zack Malibu! You don't care about anyone but yourself, and anyone who gets hurt is just collateral damage to you. Think of it, Zack. Evenflow, Superstar, Calvin Szechstein, Hoff...the list goes on, but it began with ME. The list of people that you used up until every ounce of their worth was drained. The people that you surrounded yourself with to protect your titles, your ego, and the fact that you're a fraud. You claim to be a role model to these people? Well, honey, just like Alix told me five years ago, you're no role model. You're not a strong person. ANYONE could do what you do, you just lucked into the spot. You're good at playing a role, but as far as being genuine, you have a tremendous amount to learn. I don't intend to air all your dirty laundry tonight, because that's not what the paying audience wants to see. I will, however, make them want to pay to see you get decimated. I'm going to make these people hate you as much as I do. With that, Alix drops her mic, and steps out of the ring as Moneymaker holds the ropes for her. Moneymaker turns and takes one last look at Zack, who seems to be in a state of shock and confusion moreso than anything. Moneymaker delivers his trademark cackle and walks out of the ring with Alison, leaving Malibu to absorb the shocking return of his former girlfriend.

Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long long years Stole a many man's soul and his faith Dollar bills engulfed in flames flare across every video screen in the arena, mixing with images of classic American wealth such as Moneymaker's mansion, his vacation ranch in Texas, his numerous cars, his private jets and his hunting expeditions. The audience's hatred flares hotter then the digitized fire as Theodore Moneymaker himself is carried through the parted entrance doors by dutitful attendants. Held aloft on his glimmering golden throne, Moneymaker disregards the venom of the lowly audience, and instead flecks away specks from his luxrious 100% cashmere robe. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome The Bllion Dollar Heir, The Messiah Theodore Moneymaker! The welcome is a frosty one, littered with boos and insults from the Kentucky crowd. The Billion Dollar heir is in no mood to deal with their negativity and orders his throne carriers to silence them as he enters the ring. While his loyal servants work to shush a noisy fanbase, Moneymaker is granted a microphone. COLE Zero Hour comes to us live this Sunday from Celevland, Ohio. We have several title matches including a Heartland Chamber of Hell as well as Moneymaker's arch enemy Krista Isadora Duncan facing off against Mister Dick and his right hand man Christian Wright fighting Bohemoth. But its Theodore Moneymaker promising to drop a bombshell on Zack Malibu. And I'm not the only one who hopes Zack drops a School's Out on him! COACH Malibu is done, he on his last legs. Homeboy couldn't drop a school's out on a baby elephant with sickle cell. "BOOOOOOOO!" MONEYMAKER You're right to boo. You're absolutely right to boo. I understand why you do it, because I want to do it to. I want to boo and curse, and kick and stomp my feet and say enough! Enough of Zack Malibu, I'm as tired of talking about 'em as you are of hearing about 'em. I want to talk about the last game at Yankee Stadium, or the firing of Matt Millen, or my good friend John McCain's plan to stimulate the economy the Clinton era democrats destroyed. And epsouse my theroies on how to improve the National Basketball Association. Here's just a taste: When an inner city youth goes to a bad highschool or grows up in a poor household, schools hold him to lower standard just because he had to work 40 hours a week, take care of his siblings, watch his mom be strung out on drugs while his dad is in prison and his high school didnt have books. Boo-fukkin-hoo. Instead of making this thug pull himself up by his timberland bootstraps, these schools attempt to level the playing field by admitting him with lower grades, lower test scores and essays laced with ebonics. COACH Word up, I ain't trynna be fuckin with webster's dictornary of stupid ass monkey shit just to get into college. MONEYMAKER From now on, every 2 point shot a white guy makes should be worth 3 points, a 3 should be worth 4 points, a free throw is worth 1.5 points. White players should get 8 fouls before they foul out, and they should be credited with an automatic block AND steal before the game starts to compensate for their defensive playmaking weaknesses. The typical white kid might have a few advantages that lead to him doing a better job in school then the black kid.........but he doesnt have nearly as many advantages as the black kid does with basketball. Lets break it down as the following, White kid: Go to college, parents don't make much of money so you take out loans. Graduate making $50,000 a year, you have $40,000 in loans....plus you have to pay taxes because people are on welfare. Black kid: Lebron James gets a 90 million dollar contract from Nike at age 18! COACH Its a shame when hardworking Americans like you and I are left to pay the price for the black man's laziness. COLE "WE WANT ZACK! WE WANT ZACK! WE WANT ZACK!" MONEYMAKER My problem is that Zachary just doesn't take hints all that well, now does he? The man has many, many, flaws, too many for me to go into right now, but I think the biggest is that he just doesn't know when he's not wanted. I lead a team of knights in shinning armor against he and his worthless lapdog Rodez, defeat them with ease, and although he pulled a bull excuse about his little girl, he still came crawling back to the OAOAST. I've ran him down deep into the ground, exposed him as a fraud and he still has the nerve to drag his carcass back to my company for even more whippings and tongue lashings. What's wrong with this moron? Can someone tell me? Is he a masochist, is that his thing? You like to be abused, go hang around Malaysia! BWHAHAHAAH COACH Trill line, sir. Trill line. COLE Trill line? You're just making up terms as you go along. COACH Sucka, quit being a bouncy monk, ol wobbly chuckle plant! MONEYMAKER And that's why I gotta do what I have planned for Zero Hour. Zack hasn't given me any choice, and his In Crowd hasn't given me any choice. Their refusal to leave the OAOAST to the men rightfully deemed to run it is what has caused me and my Enterprise to dig deep into his past and show the world once and for all what type of evil bastard the men who used to be in control of this company have called The Franchise. I wish I didn't have to do this, and Zack, Rodez, and the rest would go quietly away into the night. But they refuse and so they must be destroyed. But, what can I destroy them with? COLE How about facing Zack in a straight one on one match? How about having the guts to do that? MONEYMAKER The options are endless thankfully. Because as few of you are willing to acknowledge, Zack Malibu is one evil, vile little troll. He and his kind have routinley gone above and beyond anything I would ever do in my war to preserve the integrity of this great institution. Zack Malibu has assaulted women, he's turned on his best friends, he's chased talented youngsters out this company, he's put his family in danger, he's held back future superstars, he's given his friends positions they have no business holding, and he has been a detrmient to a company that has at times been a determinet to a network I invest much of my own money into! "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" MONEYMAKER Shut up, all of you! I don't have time to play your little games. Only time for mine, and mine is no game. What I'm playing with is human life and reality. I will show you the reality of Zack Malibu at Zero Hour. But tonight I want to give you a taste of what may come this Sunday. Mackenzie, Christian, and myself spent hours pouring over the worst of Zack Malibu, his most dastardly deeds and what we saw surprised even us. We saw a man, that if he were anyone besides Zack Malibu, would not only be out the OAOAST but rotting inside a jail cell as well. BWAHAHAHAHA! Though there were days worth of footage of that heathen committing his heinous actions, these are only a few of his more violent moments. Please enjoy, because I certainly did not. OAOAST HeldDOWN~! August 8th 2004 Angleslam 2004 OAOAST HeldDOWN April 29th 2004 Anglepalooza 2007 OAOAST HeldDOWN May 11th 2006 OAOAST HeldDOWN August 3rd 2006 We return to live action with the audience vhemently booing as Moneymaker's lips form a large smile over the display he just showcased. COACH Videotape doesn't lie, Mikey. Zack did all those things and more, Mister Moneymaker actually went easy on the guy. Wouldn't want to upset his precious little daughter, woluld we? COLE Just shut up. MONEYMAKER BWAHAHHAHA! There's your viterious hero in all his glory! The Franchise Zack Malibu, the pride of Rhode Island, the pride of the OAOAST. Loving father, doting husband, woman beater, psychopath, and gun toting maniac. Be objective and ask yourself what is Zack Malibu really here for? To serve the betterment of the OAOAST or to fuel his own ego and bring harm to anyone who threatens him? Did Jamie O'Hara deserve to have glass driven through his skull? Did Northstar deserve to have his career ended? Did Crystal deserve to be brutalized for months on end? Did Bruce Blank and the Wildcards deserve to have a GUN pulled on them? Say what you will about the circumstances surronding each of those incidents, but Zack Malibu has crossed the line one too many times. The Enterprise intends on finally having his past catch up to him. The results won't be pretty. "ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!" sing the audience, still very much in support of the former world champion. Moneymaker doesn't look pleased with the vocal support for the man he's viciously slandering in the ring...and is all the more surprised at their joyous reaction when SLY SOMMERS walks down the aisle! COLE Well, the fans are chanting for Zack, but they're getting another In Crowd member right now! COACH Because Zack is afraid to come face to face with the facts, Cole! Sommers gets in the ring and requests a mic, while Moneymaker stands with arms folded, silently questioning his appearance. SOMMERS First off, let's clear one thing up right here, right now. Yes, Zack Malibu is back there, and he would like nothing more than to come out here and kick your ass from corner to corner RIGHT NOW. The fans roar, and Moneymaker simply raises an eyebrow. SOMMERS I know that's what the fans want, I certainly know that's what us in the back want...and honestly, Moneymaker, it has to be what you want, because everything you say and do just BEGS for an ass kicking! Moneymaker scowls, as Sly continues. SOMMERS I'm going to try to be diplomatic here tonight. I'm trying to be the voice of reason, and I even asked Zack myself that I handle this matter. Because nobody...NOBODY...in this company knows more about Zack's supposed "bad side" than me. You talk about young stars run out of the company by Malibu? That was me. You talk about friends that Malibu turned on and left high and dry? That was me? You sit here and show clips of the Zack Malibu of years ago, asking these fans how could they tolerate such actions? They DIDN'T, because the Zack Malibu of today is NOT the same man of years past. It's true, Zack's always had somewhat of an ego...you tell me someone who has everything he has that wouldn't. He's a good looking guy, has a beautiful girlfriend, a beautiful baby daughter... MONEYMAKER That he had OUT OF WEDLOCK, Sly! SOMMERS ...is that ALL you have? You pull up footage of Zack's purported wrongdoings, which he was doing AS A HEEL, Theodore! He wasn't pretending to be the pride of the OAOAST when those things happened! Beating down Crystal, shunting me out the door and onto my ass, attacking Leon, carving people up...Zack was certainly NOT the same guy he is today. Call it a phase, call it a dark side, call it what you will, but the fact is you are trying to use things against Zack that he himself would tell you he's not proud of! As for the gun incident, you want to use that one against him? Then you look me in the eye and tell me that if a group of maniacs like The Wildcards went after YOUR family, what would you do? Would you use your money to just buy back the bad memories of it all? Would you pay off those guys to make sure they never did it again? Or would you want nothing more than to see them on the receiving end of a scare after what they did? Wouldn't you WANT to make them pay? MONEYMAKER This isn't about me, Sly! Don't try to spin this one back on me to protect your friend from what he really is...a FRAUD. Let's consider that you're right...that maybe I didn't pick the best examples of showing Zack at his worst. Does that negate the fact that he's got an unwed mother sitting at home with a daughter he barely sees after being on the road day in and day out, wrestling matches, making appearances, and being the golden boy for this company? Does it erase the fact that he's associating with some of the lowest of the low and presenting them as role models for these people? Is he really trying to push a former porn star like Leon Rodez or a washed-up ex-junkie like YOU on the viewing audience as pillars of society? I will not, I CANNOT let that happen! Sly seems flustered by the attack on his character, but does his best to keep under control. SOMMERS Once again, Moneymaker, you're bringing to light things that the public already knows. Leon's past and my past are certainly not secrets. Now let me tell you something...if you want to use someone's past against them, look no further than Sly Sommers. But when you do it, know that I take full responsibility for my actions. I'm not proud of what I once was, but it was the respect and the faith that people like Zack Malibu had in me that restored me to what you see before you. I'm clean, I'm sober, I'm BACK in the OAOAST. I'm accepted by my peers again. I'm accepted by these fans again. You walk around here flashing hundred dollar bills, looking for the easy way out by using your resources, never wanting to fight your battles. You buy people off to do your dirty work. You couldn't even be bothered to step into the ring for an actual match at Zero Hour, you had to lure Zack into this "face off" where you're going to make him confront his past? It's a nice way of saying that you're too much of a chickenshit to face him one on one! MONEYMAKER I mock Zack, YOU come out here, and I'M the chickenshit? SOMMERS Had Zack told me not to come out here, I still wouldn't have listened...because people need to hear it from someone other than Zack about what kind of person he really is. Not someone like you, who fears him, maybe is a little jealous of him? No, they need to hear it from someone who was at his absolute worst, and turned his back on friends and family alike, yet was pulled up from that gutter by Zack Malibu. Zack Malibu helped me get my second chance, Moneymaker, and I fully intend on cashing in on it. MONEYMAKER Cashing in? Tremendous work with the pun there, Sly Sommers...but something tells me you're second chance is about to be cut short in quick fashion. Moneymaker drops his mic, and starts rolling his sleeves up, as if he's ready for a fight. Sommers, impressed with Moneymaker's willingness to finally face someone one on one, starts rolling up his sleeves...BUT THEN GETS HIT WITH A CHOP BLOCK FROM DETECTIVE BOSLEY~! COLE What the hell! Fight fair, Moneymaker! COACH Life ain't fair Mikey Cole...that's why he's got the dolla dollas to make it worth his while! Sly crumbles, clutching his knee and screaming in pain, while Moneymaker starts putting the boots to him. Bosley rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair, folding it up and sliding it into the ring. Moneymaker picks it up, and then slams the chair across the same knee that Bosley took out from under Sly! COLE What a rat bastard! Sly Sommers...his knee could be seriously damaged from this attack! Moneymaker grabs the chair and holds it longways, looking to drive the edge of it into Sly's knee...but the crowd comes to life with applause, as ZACK MALIBU hits the ring in a fury! Moneymaker and Bosley scatter as soon as The Franchise slides into the ring, and rather than chase them off, he rushes to tend to his friend. COACH Moneymaker's the coward, but he's right there and Zack's not making a go at him! COLE He's tending to his friend, Coach! Sly Sommers is hurt! Sly mouths "my knee" to Zack and it's caught on camera, as Malibu looks his ally over. Malibu waves the EMT's on, and as they start to tend to Sly, he picks up one of the fallen mics. MALIBU MONEYMAKER! Let me tell you something, you son of a bitch. You've got a problem with me and that's fine...but you want to use my friends and my family to bait me? To try to lure me out? I was going to be at Zero Hour no matter what. I'm ready to "face my past" or whatever you have planned...but if you think you're walking out of that arena Sunday night without getting your ass handed to you, whether it's in the ring, in the back, in the parking lot...you've got another thing coming! You bring your Enterprise, you bring your money...but so help me God you better keep some in your pocket for your medical bills, because you just brought hell down on yourself! Zack drops the mic, as Moneymaker and Bosley scowl from the aisleway. Zack goes and stands by Sly as he's loaded onto a stretcher, and we fade out with the visual of the In Crowd member being carried off, hopefully not seriously hurt.

No worries Patty or Dr. Z. I wasn't able to totally finish my segment either, so Friday is fine. Sorry to those who already had stuff in.

He also didn't want to wind up as just another face in the crowd to Hogan and his buddies. When the Loose Cannon character took off and Hogan immediately wanted him put into the Doomsday cage match at Uncensored that year, he knew he couldn't risk something like that, as Hogan and co. would have killed the character. So that also led to him going to the WWF.