Man Who Sold The World

And that's a shoot brotha. I'm in fucking stitches over that one. Pure gold.

Raven Riley.

That motherfuckin' Jesse Camp song. U guys know who I'm talkin' about. The tard who won MTV's VJ contest.

We gonna drop this next bomb for a money makin' playa that ain't with us no mo. Yeah, Notorious B.I.G. Hell no, we gonna do this for a gangbanging thug that never seen it comin'. Yeah, Tupac Shakur. Nah bitch, I'm talkin' 'bout motherfuckin' Falco and shit. What? Falco?. Rock me Amadeus, Rock me Amadeus, Rock me Amadeus, Rock me Amadeus. Tried to O.D. on the Cold-Eeze, "Golden Girls" got me "Sweatin' To The Oldies", Hanging out like Double Ds sip Long Island Iced Teas, Wrote to Mayor McCheese "Send a Shamrock Shake please!", Three O' Clock on the dot time to cruise for Eighth graders, Rather tape the Weather Channel so that I can watch it later, Reruns of Rerun so What's Happening?, Dee's knocked up and Rog on crack again, Deep throat a whole Nutty Buddy, Make whoopie to a batch of Silly Putty, Make a Spam and Colgate sandwich and ate it, Go through "National Geographic" and draw panties on the natives, So I like to dance naked in front of my pets, But my cat was inattentive so I sent him U.P.S., Playin' spin the bottle with my mom, I watch "Cops" with no pants on. Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on, Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong, Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes, Deader than the parents on a Party of Five, Luciano Pavarotti on a treadmill, Not going nowhere slim chance we will, Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood, Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it, Relax don't do it when you wanna cum, Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it, Relax don't do it when you wanna cum. Nowhere to go I can't wake up late, Just sit around and wait for my Old Spice to activate, Stalemate jailbait in "My So-Called Life" imprisonment, Amazing what a good breakfast pickles make isn't it?, I like to pretend I'm speed reading, Never lose the sight of the thrill of sneezing, Don't need a shower today just some Brut by Faberge, Smell the ass of my jeans clean they'll do another day, And I recycle I sniff my own farts, I dial the wrong number hope a conversation starts, I mean I might as well be listenin' to Journey, Givin' myself a mullet hook the Flowbee to the Kirby, Make a prank call pretendin' I'm a mime, Get stuck in traffic just to pass the time, Sent a letter in the mail in Braille to Johnny Quest, Send me back my Etch-A-Sketch. Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on, Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong, Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes, Deader than the parents on a Party of Five, Luciano Pavarotti on a treadmill, Not going nowhere slim chance we will, Less hip than Bo Jackson, bored like wood, Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it, Relax don't do it when you wanna cum, Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it, Relax don't do it when you wanna cum. I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums, When you wanna cum, I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums, When you wanna cum, I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums, When you wanna cum, I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums, When you wanna cum. Yo yo yo yo yo! What it is motherfuckers? Aw shit, here comes Pac-Man. Hey Pac-Man, what's up? Me you bitches! I'm high on crack! Wanna freebase? No Pac-Man drugs are bad! Nope can't help you man. Pussies. Whoa! Holy shit! Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on, Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong, Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes, Deader than the parents on a Party of Five, Luciano Pavarotti on a treadmill, Not going nowhere slim chance we will, Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood, Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it, Relax don't do it when you wanna cum, Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it, Relax don't do it when you wanna cum, Holy macaroni, Holy macaroni, Holy macaroni, Holy macaroni.

I got a swirly from this linebacker my sophomore year of high school. For those that don't know, a swirly is when you get flipped upside down and dunked in a toilet with the water flushing all in your face. It totally rocks your world. But not in a good way.

Well, everyone here at TSM can be sarcastic, quick-witted and tell bad jokes (myself included), those are _not_ hidden talents, but I was curious if anybody had any hidden talents they wanted to share (very wp of me). My hidden talent won't be hidden for long. I can rap. Cliche as it might be, I have alot of fun doing it. Here's a verse from a song I'm writing: A park bench, boom box that dudes rock With volume so high the bass shakes but the tune’s lost We’d rock J’s and tube socks talk for days about who’s hot About who’s got the biggest ass and laugh at who lost It was never too hot, outside till the blue’d drop Gave up on seiko and bought the sun as our new watch We threw back a few shots cuz we knew lots Of cops who watched as we coughed off the blue crop So we were straight like heterosexuals All day we’d play, we made the streets our festival Or we’d ball like testicles hit courts with no briefcase We we’re out to have fun so it all seemed safe Even in deep grey we’d style with smiles, the cheese face Yeah, scenes fade but today can never clean slates Of yesterdays sweet trace of fun and a peace state So yeah they might be gone but in my heart they keep safe Let me know what you guys think and feel free to share your hidden talents.

Serious Jones is going to disappear. He got killed by Murder Mook. Think Joe Budden will ever get that cred he deserves? I think this next album is make or break for him.

Optimos are nice. I usually go with Swishers, strawberry flavor or peach. Nice for rolling and burn slow. I know you hate blunt wraps, but have you tried the one with Bob Marley on the wrapper? They're actually not too bad, and I hate wraps as well.

After 12 years of hard work trying to delete that song from my brain... it has returned The Heroes TV show looks pretty cool.

And let's throw in an honorable mention to Flyleaf for ruining a perfectly good launch.com playlist on my hard rock station. Fags.

Stone Sour's "Through the Glass", which I believe is their new single, is stuck in my head. Really. Who prefers Stone Sour over Slipknot?

PANIC! At the Disco.

I have a secret identity: I'm a rapper. Yeah, the bags out of the closet and I was contemplating putting this up for awhile. I finally decided to because 1. I'm bored at work and 2. I want your honest opinion of my material. I only have one commercial song listed as "Summer Girl". But give it a listen and drop some feedback. Rick_JamesB1tch's Music

Every once in awhile one of my brain cells will return with a totally random memory and I just recently got one about a Rodney Dangerfield movie. It involved him dressing his son up like a girl for some sport (I think soccer?) Well, I also remember it having the pregnant girl from the Hills Have Eyes remake (who's a uber cutie to me). I can't remember the name of this flick, because I was a young one when I saw it but remember being entertained. Anyone remember the name and wonder if I should channel my childhood and give it another look? I recently saw Cop and a Half and that shit didn't measure up to how awesome it was when I was a kid.

I'm definately sharing this story whenever I go camping again: I've got this friend, let's call her Lily. She works as a waitress at one of those 24 hour strip clubs in my area and her friend Caroline is a stripper there. Well, Caroline has a 3 year old and was on her way to work one morning when the babysitter called in sick. So, she called my friend Lily who was off on this particular morning and asked to cover for awhile until she could find another babysitter. Lily agrees and when she shows up, Caroline leaves and her 3 year old son is fast asleep on the couch. Lily has a seat on the couch and as she turns on the TV she notices one of those clown statues on the right hand side of the TV. It's a little distracting, so she goes into the kitchen and calls Caroline. She asks if it's okay if she can move the Clown statue by the TV because it's a little distracting. Big problem: Caroline doesn't own a clown a statue. Lily goes over to the TV and the 3 year old is gone and so is the clown "statue". She starts freaking out and tells Caroline, who hangs up and promptly heads over to her house. Lily investigates, calling the kids name to no avail. Lily goes outside in the backyard where several pictures of Caroline along with her panties lay out all over the grass. Lily continues shaking and calling for Caroline's son. As she goes back into the house an alarm lets off coming from the kitchen. Lily runs into the kitchen and smoke is coming from the oven along with a loud, teeth-shattering scream. Lily knows she has to open the oven but she doesn't want to. Fast forward to about 10 minutes. Caroline shows up, bursts into the house and calls for Lily. No answer. She calls for her son. Again, no answer. She hears a sly, sadistic, somewhat menacing laugh, and runs into the kitchen. All over the kitchen tiles are pictures, mostly from Caroline's photo album. She picks up a picture that stands out. The miget clown has a machete imbedded halfway into the neck of Lily and is looking into the camera with a twisted smile, eyes glazed over. On the back of the picture in red marker: "DINNERS IN THE OVEN". (You could really get more graphic with the story, and it's definately open for a switch up and alternate ending) And now you fuckers, balls up and share a scary story you would tell/or have told at a campfire or just when you're drunk/stoned.

I have a crush on your AV (da boobs), license plate.

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Goo Goo Dolls. "Black Balloon", "Iris", "Broadway", "Slide", "Naked", "Name". I have a CD I made named "Songs I can only listen to by my self". No one would understand. And that cover of "Listen to your heart" is good, whoever sings that. Chalk one up for DJ Sammy 'Heaven' too.

ewbattleground.com

I Love the reach around.

I used to have the biggest thing for Winnie! Sidekicks was the shit back in the day. Sad that I haven't watched it since I was little. Everytime I think of Sidekicks, I think of the glorious cheese of "Three Ninjas".

ninja? Or teddy bear? Nah, that gimmick of posting pics died. I was losing overness.