Man Who Sold The World

Kids that grew up rich, and are now old.

the nuclear attack has begun and the missles are in the air...... what would you do with your remaining time on earth? what would u do?

I see what you're doing there. Whore. No, cunt. Whore-a-cunt. That's my word.

Africa is a good place to start in his journey. Or so I've heard.

Everybody knows with big women, you just get in the middle and twist. Find a hot spot and go to town. Call her hot pockets.

I had a dream I got Matt high and hooked him up with this girl I know. And then we played Mortal Kombat.

Me and a co-worker got into a heated debate because I told him David Lee Roth is reportedly touring again with Van Halen and his response was on par with one of the dumbest things I've ever heard in my life: "Eh, Van Halen was the best with Hagar." And I vomited. So, you see where I stand. I stand with Van Halen's "1984". Where do you stand?

Would I be allowed to get high? That was a serious question.

Bumped. No mention of DJ Shadow, Portishead, or Massive Attack.

N.E.R.D "Bobby James".

A picture of Ahmed on the motorcyle with gay abe behind him would be pretty funny. Sumbudymakeithappen.

"I made 33 million opening weekend, how are YOU doin'?"

I'm going to buy gum for protection. People with bad breath just adore talking to me close up. What type of gum should I look for that would instantly kill peoples bad breath, and is reasonably priced? Thanks.

Hm... seems we work in the same field. I'd give Norbit about the same. It was good for what it was, and should go over well with drunks and stoners alike.

Don't shoot me.

I know! This totally geared away from what I was leaning towards. Which was, you know, sarcasm. Bah.

Okay, say you had the opportunity to smoke weed legally (and I'm only speaking/writing to the smokers of the plant here), would you do it? And if you signed up, got the card and everything, what's next? You get a fairly large amount of ganja in the form of brownies, suckers, candy bits, and/or you can just take a plant home and grow it. All legal. So, if you had the chance to do it, would you? Would... you?

Bwahaha. Ahmed wore daisy dukes.

There's nothing better than sitting in a chair while friends and fellow entertainers rip you a new asshole. Some do a good job, others make you cringe. Hell, even some make you laugh at how bad they are, but you can always guarrantee a good time. Anyways, I was actually thinking about having a Roast of my own for my birthday (THAT would be somethin' else.), so I decided to start a thread about your favorite Roast and some of the lines you remember. I actually remember enjoying Shaquille O'Neal's Roast of Emmit Smith. It was some quality stuff, and I remember Jeff Ross being SO out of his element. He had some good jokes, and I believe Jamie Foxx hosted. My second favorite would have to be Pamela Anderson's, if only because Courtney Love was gold. It almost became a Love Roast for a moment. I haven't seen alot of Roasts, so forgive me if I'm bypassing the elite. And I can't remember which Roast this was, but Quinn got OWNED: "Colin Quinn has been cancelled more times than Mary-Kate Olsen's dinner reservations", or something like that.

I'd nominate the Chevy Chase Roast for worst Roast... ever. But that was pretty good.

I could pick up an 8th of Kush for about sixty bucks. But I assume Canada should have way better prices than California.

I believe the timeline was the Smackdown prior to Survivor Series '03, and this was probably the most entertaining Paul Heyman speech/tirade I've seen. He really tore Vince a new asshole, and even though Vince had the "ok" for the interview, I'm fairly certain Heyman threw a couple of digs in Mr. McMahon that he didn't see coming (and you can clearly tell from his facial expression at certain points). Well, I was watching this interview over again and I noticed that some of the things Paul Heyman said, could be said today, on the next RAW in fact and probably garner a huge pop (He was booed during this interview). "You see at Survivor Series, it means so much more than just the personalities that are involved. It's about ending what Vince McMahon has tried to accomplish. I sat there at that desk on Monday and I listened to Mick Foley, and I agreed with everything Mick Foley had to say; that the WWF truly does suck! Don't boo me! Have you watched the television show lately? Vince McMahon has lost his mind! The man doesn't have it anymore! He's a has-been. His ideas are antiquated. His concepts are Draconian and Mick Foley was right because the WWF is imploding from within. Like every great empire, the WWF is imploding from within. Vince's loyal employees, like "Stone Cold", left him, like Mick Foley wants nothing to do with him, Vince's own children want him to burn in Hell, and I don't blame 'em. " That which was bolded mirrors many peoples opinions of Vince McMahon and the WWE right now, a good portion anyway. I think this was fairly ahead of its time and maybe a sign of things to come, but as I was watching this recently, I couldn't help but picture that this same thing may be said, but instead of Smackdown, it will be said on TNA. Here's the complete transcript: "In just a few moments, at my leisure, I'm gonna call Vince McMahon out to his ring in front of his public on a television show that's owned by his grand company. At least, that is, until this Sunday at Survivor Series. I know how much you people appreciate what Shane and Stephanie and I have done. How Shane and Stephanie and I have stood up to the tyranny of Vince McMahon. And the way it is ladies and gentlemen is quite simple: the World Wrestling Federation will die this Sunday. But don't blame me for that. It's not my fault. I'm not the one who ruined everything that was accomplished by "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. You see at Survivor Series, it means so much more than just the personalities that are involved. It's about ending what Vince McMahon has tried to accomplish. I sat there at that desk on Monday and I listened to Mick Foley, and I agreed with everything Mick Foley had to say; that the WWF truly does suck! Don't boo me! Have you watched the television show lately? Vince McMahon has lost his mind! The man doesn't have it anymore! He's a has-been. His ideas are antiquated. His concepts are Draconian and Mick Foley was right because the WWF is imploding from within. Like every great empire, the WWF is imploding from within. Vince's loyal employees, like "Stone Cold", left him, like Mick Foley wants nothing to do with him, Vince's own children want him to burn in Hell, and I don't blame 'em. Vince McMahon will see the WWF die this Sunday at Survivor Series and he has no hope to save his precious company. Vince McMahon has the same chances of saving the WWF as he did of realizing his dream of starting a football league! (Vince's McMahon's music hits and he enters the ring.) I want you to know that I was down on my knees because I know you're used to men kissing your ass, Vinnie. Every time you walk in the back, there's Patterson and Brisco, 'Oh, what a great idea you had, Vince!' You like men kissing your ass, don't you, Vince? Because that's what you're all about; a billionaire! The billionaire, Vince McMahon! The creator of sports entertainment! I've waited so long to see you face to face like this. And I've waited so long to tell you to your face that I hate your stinking guts. And it's not just me, it's your children that hate your stinking guts, Vince, and at Survivor Series, your children are going to do to you what I've waited my whole life to see someone do to you, Vince. You are, so help me God, the most disgusting, vile, son of a bitch I've ever seen in my life. You took Hulk Hogan’s blood and you built Titan Towers. You stole Bret Hart’s dream, and with that money, bought yourself an airplane with WWF all over it. You did that and you know it, you son of a bitch! You stole Shawn Michaels’ smile, took your company public and made yourself a billionaire. But not a self-made billionaire, like you like to tell everybody you are. Oh no…see, you’re a billionaire on other people’s hard work. Your father, your father, Vince McMahon, your father went around the country and shook the hand...you know I'm telling you the truth, don't you? You know in your heart that I'm telling you the truth, that your father shook the hand of every promoter in this country that he'd never compete against them, that his son would never compete against them. And when your father DIED, you competed! And with your ruthless, merciless, take-no-prisoners attitude, you drove everybody out of business, didn't you, Vince? You ran all the competition into the ground and you stole all their ideas and you made yourself a billionaire out of it! And you know whose ideas you stole the most, Vince? You stole mine. See, I don't give a damn about Don Owen and Sam Mushnick and Jim Crockett, I care about what you did to me and my family. How you stole my dreams, how you stole my legacy, how you stole everything that Extreme Championship Wrestling represented. Because while Doink the Clown had green hair and a rubber nose, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was drinking his first beer in ECW, damn you. While Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund were dancing around singing "Tutti Fruitti", ECW was producing the edgy TV that you named "attitude." 'Oh, we've got attitude!' You've got nothing, man! What you've got is my ideas and you stole my life, my money, my legacy! (throws his hat at him) SCREW YOU! SCREW YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! I'll tell you something, your own children hate your guts! And on Sunday, your children are going to get even with you, for everything that you stole from me, from everything you stole from them! You flaunt your affairs in front of your wife! You flaunt your affairs in Playboy for your children to read! You bastard! Look at Tazz! Look at Tazz! This man was a killer, he was a machine! He was a wrestler, a great wrestler, a real man. But wrestling is a dirty word to you, isn't it, Vince? Your father built a wrestling company, and you, you had to have sports entertainment. 'We have to have sports entertainment, ha ha ha!' (Points to Tazz) He was a wrestler, he was a great wrestler, he was a man. And now, he's a fat, little, obnoxious color commentator, and not even a good one! He is a sports entertainer. He is not a wrestler because you made wrestling a dirty word. You made wrestling a dirty word, Vince. What kind of a man are you? What kind of a man takes wrestling and makes it sports entertainment? At Survivor Series, you're going down. You're going down, Vince. I promise you, you're going down, and I'm going to watch it and your children are going to lift their leg, and stand over your grave and we're going to laugh. And you know what else I'm going to do, Vince? I'm going to run your ass out of business. And there's not a damn thing you can do about. I'm feeling good about myself..." (Tazz locks in the Tazzmission and chokes Heyman down) - Paul Heyman; Smackdown '03. What do you guys think?

I haven't seen the movie in awhile, but didn't they play that song in Bad Boys? I remember Martin Lawrence getting tossed around a bathroom while they played this, but I could be wrong.

I was a huge Dudley Boyz mark during their period of torment on the tag division in ECW circa '97-98. Man oh man did they ever own, with their extremely long entrance with Joel Gertner, who rocked the mic each and everytime he did introductions. I mean, jeebus, Bubba and D-Von used to cause near riots! Their in-ring work wasn't at all exciting, but the environment they created whenever they entered the ring was worth it to me. Rick Rude. I remember when I first checked ECW out a little before Barely Legal and watched him come out as a masked man. He had disappeared for awhile and I was happy to see him back. He set the crowd on fire, and I used to always mark for that confrontation with Douglas. Shane Douglas. The Franchise gimmick in ECW. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPO ... MAN. I mean, how could you not love that? Demolition, for the look and music alone. The Eliminators. I would mark like a schoolboy for Total Elimination, just an awesome finishing move. Crush's WWF Theme when he was Kona Krush. That shit rawked.

Reefer madness, INDEEEEEEED-uh!