LaParkaMarka

Well, I took Xiao Qiao and Ma Su and invaded the last map (the Ma familiy). It was pretty funny, Ma Su tried to take on Ma Chao and Ma Dai, and decided to run away. Then Ma Chao was all "I'm not letting you get away!" and chased after him to the side of the map. Very amusing. I had a good time ignoring Ma Su's desperate pleas for help. Another fun series of messages: You have won the duel! Ma Chao has been defeated! You have won the duel! Ma Dai has been defeated. Ma Su's unit is struggling. I love useless Ma Su. Fleeing like a retard while a little girl outduels the other Ma boys. Xiao is pretty fun to play as...her charge attack with the massive fan barrage is quite good. Oh, and if anyone hasn't done this, play as Meng Huo's 6th costume. No Grandpa Zhao Yun in the game, but it does have some kind of crazy half-naked Southeast-Asian Santa Claus.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that calls SSX "Tricky". Played as one of the Qiao's for the first time today. That was pretty fun...she has a bizarre moveset, but the idea of a little girl managing to capture or defeat Zhang Fei, Zhou Yu, Ma Chao, and Liu Bei in one battle is quite amusing. I think I'll send her by herself against the last area on the map. Maybe Ma Su if I can find him. The thing with DW is, even if you make it hard, it's not hard in a good way...I mean, you just die by getting bounced around for a minute by some uber-general instead of killing him with a few combos. Hmm...I bet the game would be a lot tougher without radar, and without handy-dandy "please help me!" messages from the other generals. Implement messengers or something, so you would get a message but it would be delayed. Plus you wouldn't know about officers respawning, using their abilities, etc, unless you're right there. Could be cool.

This is terrible, terrible news. I heart my ESPN 2k5, and I was already looking forward to next year. EA is a bunch of cocksuckers. Edit: Story not available? Anyone have a working link?

I actually like Huang Gai in Empires. His grenades never seem to work, but he hits quite hard and has a good square-square-triangle attack. I didn't play as all the characters in DW4, so Empires really opens up your eyes to some of the characters. I like Taishi Ci a bunch now, same with Pang Tong. And SSX! All the characters are interesting to try, and Empires makes it so that your character usually isn't too overpowered. I agree with UYI, tho, about the lack of strategy in the game. All you have to do is hit some specific chokepoint strongholds and you've pretty much won the map. I haven't had a lot of battles where I've really been on the defensive. I'm considered trying to beat the game with just a single officer...that could be tough. Tritec: You really think Zhou Tai is better than Lu Bu?

Items are "used up" for 5 turns if you use them once. Just so you don't run around with your Vorpal Orb level 4 and Tiger Amulet level 20 every battle. It forces you to use bizarro items and strange characters, which is quite cool. UYI, that Liu Bei going apeshit on Wu stuff should totally be in game. I always thought a branching Musou based on victories or defeats would be cool...so maybe the old Ambush Guan Yu level you have to make sure he doesn't die against almost impossible odds. Then if he does die, it branches to the Liu Bei going crazy stuff. That would be pretty neat.

That truly would be amazing. Didn't he have to pluck the arrow out of his head before eating it shishkabob-style? Man, Xiahou Dun is so great. Man, if they added some of these scripted cut-scene events into the next version of Empires, I would be so happy. The only weak part is that the battles are all relatively similar since nothing unique or level-specific happens, like Sun Jian being caught behind enemy lines or Lu Bu's "daughter" trying to break through the lines to get reinforcements.

Give your cleric a mage pupil, have the cleric learn magic. Also, make sure the cleric has a good chance to get in on combo attacks, especially with whoever she is pupil to (higher chance of combo working).

The game needs more humiliation of various characters. I loved everything about that loser Ma Su in DW4...Sima Yi trapping him, then mocking him in another battle when he shows up as reinforcements. "Reinforcements?!?! Oh, it's just Ma Su." And Ma Su basically acted like a surly pussy. Wonderful. I just read a chapter having to do with the Zhuge's invasion of Wei. Some famous Wei general has five famous sons, renowned in battle. 70 year old Zhao Yun leads the Shu vanguard, so the sons go to take him out. Zhao Yun wipes the floor with them, killing each and routing the Wei army. The dad cries for days about losing all of his children, then is part of a Wei counteroffensive. They encounter Zhao Yun, and he gives a quick speech saying how he has to go out and avenge his sons. In the translation I read, the duel took two lines: Famous general guy rides at Zhao Yun. Zhao Yun stabs him in the face and famous general guy dies." That could make a great level, either as Grandpa Zhao Yun killing an entire family, or as Sima Yi watching and laughing at the whole thing.

There's a free online translation. Just google "Romance of the Three Kingdoms".

Ah, did "Overthrowing Dong Zhuo" in Empires. That is so much harder than DW4, in that you actually have to deal with that respawning psychopath Lu Bu, and you have a 30 min time limit. I actually did beat Lu Bu three times, getting rid of him, but then I only had 48 seconds left to beat Super Dong Zhuo. Blah. The strategy that I finally tried on my third attempt: beat Lu Bu once to make him retreat, then go straight to Dong Zhuo, ignoring everything in the way. I had Dong down to a sliver of health, then, guess who fucking spawns right there: Mr. "Who else seeks death". I stab Dong Zhuo, Lu Bu charge attacks me. Dong dies, game starts to go to end of mission. Lu Bu stabs me a hundred times, kills me. My character somehow gets up for the "Victory" fanfare. I cheered aloud.

Maybe a one-round rookie draft, then?

Minny - 28 Chicago Cincinnati Buffalo Detroit Indianapolis New Orleans Baltimore Oakland Minnesota Denver N.Y. Jets Arizona St. Louis San Diego Philadelphia Tennessee

Oh god, I forgot about him. I mean, fuck, how old is he? And he can't cut his own toenails? Pathetic. Rebecca saying how she's "sick of babysitting my girlfriend" was funny. Then he went back to his lame childish "do you want me to hurt myself" bullshit...that's like something an abusive husband does to gain forgiveness. Kinda makes you wonder what kind of issues Rebecca has to even consider dating this guy. Oh, and Hayden + Kris + water task = good. Also, the hilarious blatant chest shot by the camera guys.

Making them beg in Senegal is pretty harsh. At least the other teams were at big tourist attractions, like the Sphinx. Man, wasn't the brown-haired model annoying? "Oh no, I can't walk over a grave! Eww, Africa smells! Is this water filled with blood?". Jeez, shut the fuck up Flo Jr. It was odd seeing a nice side of Jon, when he gave out that Candy. Then he started threatening Botox in the cab. Good ol Douche. I'm glad the old couple are still around. The old guy reminds me of Dick Vermeil.

I'm at Chapter 88, haven't read in a while. I might end up reading some more tonight.

That's so much better than the story. I really hated the whole Dowager Lady Sun thinking Liu Bei was the greatest son-in-law ever, and foiling all the attempts to kill him. I think Liu Bei ended up sending the guy a bunch of gold and stuff too. Just bizarre. And the whole baby-tossing thing was weird too, especially after his wife sacrificed her life for the kid and gave that impassioned speech to Zhao Yun. It was interesting seeing the spinjob the author did on some of Liu Bei's trickier acts, like when he stole the lands of his cousin (nephew?). ROTK reminds me of Arabian Nights at some times. Both can be completely insane, both are worth checking out. This thread has made me play Empires again. I finally made Pang Tong Emperor. "Me? Emperor? Has the world gone crazy?" He's the best hobo mystic emperor ever.

Some of it is indeed pretty hilarious. I forget the specifics of the story, but didn't Liu Bei actually eat the wife of some farmer? And he was portrayed as the hero.

It's fun to make Pang Tong your leader in Empires. He's funny. Wei Yan would be interesting to try too. If you hate Shu, like me, don't bother reading the actual Romance of the Three Kingdoms. It's one big wank-fest for Liu Bei and Guan Yu. They even try and pass off Wu's brilliant assassination of Guan Yu as dishonorable. What crap. Cao Cao owns Liu Bei.

Drunken Wu = win. Yeah, Dong Zhuo is a dick, so it makes sense. Poor Yuan Shao. I approve of Pang Tong flying, as well as what looks like two generic officers carrying the Yellow Turban guy. Wei is supposed to be evil, though. They should be skewering the corpse of Liu Bei and slapping around Han emperors or something.

In one of the Empires ending pics: Why is Dong Zhuo riding on Yuan Shao's back? Yuan Shao looks terrified. Gotta like that Wu picture.

The Bills will probably end up 9-7, which may not be good enough for the playoffs. Jacksonville though, all of their games are winnable. The Bears suck, who knows which Packer team will show up, the Texans are decent but have some weaknesses, and the Raiders suck. Their defense is solid, and their offense is solid. If they had a kicker that could kick straight, they would have beaten the Steelers. Why not them?

Looks like the first round of the COSG playoffs are done with. Pawtucket Patriots - 66.4 Pepsi Plunge - 97.4 Despite good performances from Peyton and LT, the Patriots lost the battle of PPs. Pepsi's MVP has to be the Tampa defense, throwing up a ridiculous 37 points with their shotout of Atlanta. Barring a similar performance from Seattle's defense tonight, Pepsi has it in the bag and shall face Lone Stars next week. In the other game, we had a thrilling finish. Unfortunately for one team, Plaxico Burress and Deuce McAllister combining for -.2 points really did them in. Cuban Cigars - 73.7 Team 2005 - 73.1 So next week: Cuban vs HHH, Lone Stars vs Pepsi Plunge.

Well, I liked Waiting in the Wings. Even if Gru showing up was retarded. How did he even get into the Angel universe from Pylea? Of course, Gru led to one of the greatest phrases ever: "paranormal prophylactic". PS: Champion Cordy sucks.

Whooo, Chargers pick off Plummer in the endzone!

Oh who cares if they run up the score. You guys act like it's a war crime.