LaParkaMarka

I love ESPN, but the game has some terrible glitches. Like offsetting penalties + booth review = game dies. Or a challenge during a hurry-up offense causing a game freeze. Very lame...I would have rather had VC look for bugs for a few more weeks and release it a bit before Madden. I got the perfect season as the Vikes (also added Shannon Sharpe and had Bennett get injured, like the guy above). I'm getting annoyed with the psycho salaries of Culpepper and Moss. I don't mind paying them a lot, but Culpepper is a huge liability with his 9 year $100 million contract. I tried trading him, but I take a 20 million salary cap hit. Restructuring his contract still gives me a huge hit. It's silly. How do real NFL teams get around this? I mean, I'm pretty sure the Vikes won't pay Culpepper 10 million in 2007.

That was such a wonderful finale. Excellent on so many levels, from the limo swerve to the "Oh shit, Amanda knows Rita" moment to the Austin's speech to the Bryce reveal. Great show. And there's no way Piper is hooking up with Tim. I mean, she's like 3 inches taller than the guy.

The Twins crack me up. I love the music they play whenever the Twins do something retarded. I hated the brothers, so I was not sad to see them go. Good riddance. Hopefully the Bowling Moms go next.

Nice post, VX. I have a question...when signing free agents, I purposely brought down their bonus so I could cut them whenever I felt like it. Has anyone tried restructuring the contract of a player with a stupid high signing bonus, and then cutting them right away? If you give them a huge amount of non-guaranteed money, they'll probably sign. And then I can cut them, possibly on Christmas Day.

So, I'm franchising as Minnesota. Go 6-0 to start the season, and then it's a showdown with the 6-0 Titans. The game quickly became weird when McNair throws a pick on the first play, then I throw a pick right back which is returned for a TD. Eventually I start dominating with Moss/Robinson/Culpepper, and I'm up 28-7. First drive of the 3rd quarter they go through my D like butter, 28-14. Then they sack Culpepper twice in a row on the next drive, leaving me on my 1 yard line. Fourth down, so I punt. The punt returner was a little close to the left edge of the field, so I make my punt a line drive to the right. He desperately tries to catch the ball, but it drops in front of him, bounces high in the air. He turns and tries to catch it again, but it bounces off the back of his helmet. Still going backwards, he tries to swipe it again and misses. Then he dives for the ball, but my boy Moe Williams gets there first. But wait, no other Titans around, the returner didn't down Williams...so I get up and saunter down for the TD. Off a punt from my 1. I celebrated with the robot dance (the dance of shame and humiliation).

Cue is right. Seriously man, look at every Canucks game. Cloutier will let in at least one lame shitty goal almost every time. But it doesn't matter in the regular season because the Canucks usually score 3-4-5 goals. Besides, not only is he lackluster, he has a bizarre temperment. Remember how the 50 footer totally got to him? The Canucks don't necessarily need a superstar. Look at Calgary, they did great with a the San Jose backup. The Canucks + a goalie like Kiprusoff, they'll go far. Heck, if they were going to waste 3 mil on Cloutier they might as well have tried to get a guy like Olaf Kolzig.

Wow, the Dolphins are gonna SUCK this year. Hahaha. I drafted Williams and Boston in the Smart Marks League. Dear god. If anyone is a fan of Terrell Owens or Chad Pennington, they might retire/rip up their knee sometime soon.

Flik's right. All of the packaging changed last year with the ESPN affiliation. Then it changed again this year because last year's packaging was sinfully ugly.

I was pretty drunk for most of the game, and I still killed Cleveland 65-7. Some big differences from last year. People go the fuck down when they get hit, it's jarring when you're used to the broken-tackles galore of last season. Also, my old stiff-arm tricks don't work nearly as well this year, since defensive players do not magically bounce off each other and away from me. Still, I was laughing at the game when my first play was "Culpepper runs out of pocket, diagonal over the field to Moss, he breaks two tackles and TD". Felt like old times. I thought they were going to kill the accuracy on those silly out of pocket passes. I did completely miss a freaking screen pass, which annoyed me. How do you miss a screen? Useless Bennett. Now, time to go to tutorial and see what new stuff I can do.

I finally got the game!!! I shall not stop playing. Unless it somehow sucks.

Firefox has FireSomething, the greatest extension known to man. Endless amusement right there. It seriously does have a lot of very cool enhancements/extensions that are firefox/mozilla exclusive. Mouse Gestures are a very neat idea.

I think they should cheer themselves up with some naked hugging... You should be executive producer. Chip and Kim are cool. I like them better than the rest of the teams. Let's see if Brandon and Nicole actually bother to help em if it comes back to that. Ok, I'm going against popular opinion here, but I'm starting to like Charla/Mirna. The non-midget can be really annoying, but they play a smart game. The fact that the team with a midget is still around and constantly at the top is pretty amazing. And I was very amused at how they Solid Snake'd onto a flight while the other teams were sleeping. I'm not too impressed by four non-elim legs, but eh, we'll see how it turns out. At least the Begging Bowling Moms should be good for a laugh.

I think Amanda is super cute and nice, but I'd still take Ingrid over her. She can recite the preamble of the constitution for me anytime. Rrrow.

Was that Tim dressed as Spike Dudley? I saw the fat suit gimmick on a reality show. The idea was that they make the bachelorette look way different, then pass her off to the guys as her aunt. Looks like they're going backwards next week.

I love how sad Amanda looks through every tense scene. So uncomfortable. Bryce is GOD.

...Tuvok? Uh, how was he a good character? He was at least as useless as the rest. Granted, I gave up on the show after a few seasons, so he could have developed. Now, the Doctor, he was all kinds of awesome. Here's the big difference between a show like DS9 and Voyager. Gul Damar - Minor character. Starts off as Dukat's lackey, eventually drives Dukat insane by killing his daughter, takes over leadership of Cardassia, ends up rebelling against the founders, dies as a martyr. Harry Kim - Minor character. Starts off as an ensign. 7 years later, still an ensign.

He did have an amazing game vs the Blues. But come on, the goalie needs to step up despite shitty D. That's the mark of a great goalie. Look at Luongo out in Florida, the guy is pretty much the only reason Florida was competetive. I agree about Hedberg/Auld/Osgood. But I think everyone can agree Cloutier isn't worth three million. He's always good for at least one weak goal every game. Good goalies don't do that. He hasn't carried the Canucks on his back over a significant period of playoff time. A $3 million goalie should do that. Compared to the other goalies available, Cloots isn't too bad a choice. But he was completely and totally overpaid, and it will hurt the team.

You had me at "obsess". Anyways, what was so bad about Gavin? He was a good guy. I was sad to see him all zombified.

Why? Auld isn't exactly a top-calibur goalie. I have no idea why they gave Cloutier 3 million, but they've already wasted enough money at the position. Cheap, competent backups shouldn't be too hard to find. Glad Allen are Chubarov are locked up. Both solid young players.

I loved Willow and Fred's interaction in Season 4. Too bad there wasn't more. Heck, Willow's interaction with everyone was great. Her chat with Evil Cordy, her chat with Broody Wes. All good.

We're talking Buffy season 2, where Passion = Angelus snuffing out Jenny Calender? That's probably IMO the best Buffy episode. Just amazing all the way through. Angelus drawing Buffy/Joyce/Willow while they slept, killing Willow's fish, the whole interplay between Giles/Jenny/Buffy/Willow. And, of course, Angelus getting iced champagne and covering Giles' apartment with roses leading up to Jenny's corpse in the bed. Angelus' voiceover about the ecstacy of grief, Giles' going nuts with a flaming bat. So good. Maybe one of the best Buffyverse eps ever, though there were some really great Angel eps the last few seasons.

I'm sure it'll eventually be used, but hopefully the lack of usage tells the producers to dump it. My pet theory is that the Fast Forwards will show up for the (non-final 3,) non-elimination legs. Oh, and the Twinkies ALMOST hugged. Sorry Parka. It was a half-hug. And not very sexy, in that Blue Twin looked like she was about to die or something. I must say, that caviar roadblock was absolutely hilarious. Colin going nuts on Christie, Nicole almost passing out, and Chip just blasting past everyone. That was great. I can't stand Colin the Douche and Mr God Hates Vodka, so I was glad to see their teams take a little hit. "Punish that caviar!" was a very funny line. Also, Colin saying "I'm so proud of her" while looking completely homicidal. It's interesting comparing Bob and Joyce with some of the other couples. Did they even have one disagreement? Meanwhile, we have Colin spazzing out at caviar, God Boy making every decision, and Allison and Donny screaming at each other to the bitter end.

I'm pretty sure you couldn't do any seasons past the first one.

What starvenger said. The point of the show isn't complete parody of reality shows, otherwise they could just eliminate the Schmoes and have it all completely scripted. The point is to tell a story that spoofs reality while playing around with the Schmoes' reaction to it all. Anyways, great ep. Cammy plays the oblivious dumb girl so well, it's hard to believe she isn't that dumb.And Gerald at the eviction ceremony was gold. So was TJ, for that matter, pretty much telling Austin that he has a tiny penis. Good times/

So, who else wants to redo the yahoo draft? Come on, it'll be fun.