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Skywarp!

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Posts posted by Skywarp!

  1. Posted · Report reply

    Glitch, a robot from the future who would "glitch" during the match and keep doing the same move over and over, which would cost him the match (i.e. keep attemping an elbow drop repeatedly, even though the opponent rolled out of the way).

     

    Johnny Glitch > Matt Morgan

     

    Glitch's last recorded loss was to the reigning Intercontinental Breakfast Champion.

  4. Posted · Report reply

    This is disgusting. They didn't need to tazer her. Even though they warned her like 5 times, she kept saying "taze?" like she didn't know what they meant. They should have used mace. It's a better first step and would have gotten her out of the car.

     

    And you should be careful doing that to a woman. If she was pregnant, and the baby became brain damaged, or defected the cops could be sued, or if miscarried, then they would be up on murder charges.

     

    This was an abuse of power.

  6. Posted · Report reply

    Some of my friends started DCW (Drunken Championship Wrestling), where they would all drink Budweiser and Yueger and then proceed to hit each other on the heads with stop signs and frying pans. I wanted nothing to do with that.

     

    Instead, some other friends and I made up a "comic" league--a wrestling parody show with gimmicks that were funny in a joke league, but would have been awful if a real promotion would have done them. For instance: Johnny Glitch, a robot from the future who would "glitch" during the match and keep doing the same move over and over, which would cost him the match (i.e. keep attemping an elbow drop repeatedly, even though the opponent rolled out of the way). My friend probably still has the tapes, somewhere.

  9. Posted · Report reply

    The excellent tracks on "Make Believe:"

    This is Such a Pity

    Freak Me Out

    Haunt You Everyday

     

    The good tracks on "Make Believe:"

    Pardon Me

    The Other Way

     

    The "Eh" Tracks:

    Beverly Hills

    Perfect Situation

    Hold Me

    We Are All on Drugs

    The Damage in Your Heart

     

    The awful tracks:

    Peace

    Best Friend

     

     

    They should have built the album around the vibe of Freak Me Out and Haunt You Everyday. Then it would have been an 8.0 album, instead of a 5.0 one.

  15. Posted · Report reply

    I liked it.  I used to be a big fan of 311, , but their last couple albums were kind of "meh".  They were pretty good when I saw them at the Warped Tour a few years abck, though.

     

      Hopefully the album will turn out okay.  My birthday is on July 30th, and I'll probably end up buying quite a few CDs with the cash I'll get.

     

    I'll give you that. My main problem with "From Chaos" is that except for the melodic gems, they didn't do enough to progress their sound. The funny thing is that a handful of those songs rank with some of the best work 311's ever done. It's just too few and far between, though.

     

    "Evolver" was a relief for me, since it was following "From Chaos". I felt like it was a step up, if not a full return to form. Even though a Beatles-influenced album is a refreshing change for them, 311 need to remember that funky rhythms are their bread and butter. There's a reason "Don't Dwell" is my favorite track.

     

    That said, there's supposedly a slathering of reggae influences on the new album.

  18. Posted · Report reply

    I think we have a new worst Pitchfork review.

     

    Audioslave

    Out of Exile

    [interscope; 2005]

    Rating: 6.8

     

     

    Fresh out of exile, Chris Cornell is trying to re-adjust to the real world. Cornell has one problem, though: He only communicates using Audioslave lyrics:

     

    Chris Cornell at the eye doctor:

     

    Eye Doctor: So what's wrong, Mr. Cornell?

     

    Chris Cornell: I've stared straight into the sun.

     

    Eye Doctor: You can't see anything?

     

    Chris Cornell: I've seen 50,000 names all engraved on a stone.

     

    Eye Doctor: So you see some things, but not other things.

     

    Chris Cornell: Send my soul away.

     

    Chris Cornell at a bodega where somebody's buying lotto tickets:

     

    Old Guy: God I hope I win...

     

    Chris Cornell: I will be your luck.

     

    Chris Cornell returning to his home in L.A.:

     

    Chris Cornell: I was happy in this fortress.

     

    Chris Cornell working as a Japanese tour guide, scaring people:

     

    Chris Cornell: I walk the streets of Japan till I get lost with a graveyard tan carrying a cross.

     

    Chris Cornell at the DMV saying stupid things that prevent him from getting his driver's license:

     

    Chris Cornell: I like driving backwards in the fog.

     

    Chris Cornell screaming:

     

    Chris Cornell: Yeahhh!

     

    Chris Cornell interviewing at med schools:

     

    Chris Cornell: I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget.

     

    Chris Cornell explaining what he likes to study:

     

    Chris Cornell: I like studying faces in a parking lot.

     

    Chris Cornell, M.D., talking to a patient in the emergency room who really just needs stitches, nothing big:

     

    Chris Cornell: I don't know why you're dying.

     

    Chris Cornell getting fired from Guitar World:

     

    Chris Cornell: I like throwing my voice and breaking guitars.

     

    Chris Cornell giving tips on how to play hide-and-seek:

     

    Chris Cornell: Hide in the hours before sunrise.

     

    Christ Cornell wondering whether this will all go away:

     

    Chris Cornell: I've got a feeling this will all go away.

     

    Places Chris Cornell will drink you:

     

    Chris Cornell: I will drink you in my honey.

     

    Chris Cornell's favorite mathematical functions:

     

    Chris Cornell: Multiply and divide.

     

    Drown him fast?

     

    Chris Cornell: Drown me slowly.

     

    -Nick Sylvester, May 26, 2005

     

    Apparently that's a record review. That tells me nothing of why it got a 6.8. So Cornell has creepy lyrics. BIG DEAL.

  19. Posted · Report reply

    Another typical review was when they panned Jet's album. I wanted to know WHY it was bad. I didn't want the article written in the point of view of a stage manager, watching Jet get booed off the stage while people throw human excrement at them. That tells me nothing.

     

    Actually, the worst review by that Brett C. person is of the Beastie Boys' "To the 5 Boroughs". He basically ends the review talking about how he's too good to review records anymore and that his indie film is set to debut on the big screen. Someone should have went to that and given it a snarky write up with a 1.4 rating in his local paper.

  24. Posted · Report reply

    I think I want to call this the best System album yet. They didn't do what I feared...shit out a rote nu-metal album. They embraced melody, and when they rocked, they kept their goofy sense of humor and delivery that made them bouyant, floating to the top of the sea of passionless monotonous genre of nu-metal in the first place.

     

    And let's also commend them for being savvy--if you write 2 albums worth of material, it's better to have the fans leave the table a little hungry and promise dessert then to stuff them sick with a bloated double-disc.

     

    Great job guys. Album of the year, so far. Of course, I say that with the realization that the only other 2005 release I've heard so far is Weezer's "Make Believe". With that said, even with a potentially great year of music ahead of us, I don't think I see this album being knocked of the top of the mountain by anyone except possibly themselves in Autumn.

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