The Man in Blak

So, to clarify on position eligibility...Alex Rodriguez would only be eligible at 3B, correct? (With no games at SS this year)

In other news, the sun was seen rising east of town. Chief of Police and meteorologist Kobe Bryant speculates that the fiery star will be setting down west of the city sometime around the end of the day. Stay tuned for additional details.

And the Cards get robbed out of run on a botched call at home - Haren hits a shallow fly to Beltran, Sanders tags, Beltran guns, Sanders slides, Ausmus tags his back foot after it's already crossed the plate...and the umpire is FIXATED on whether Ausmus held the ball on this non-collision. He calls him out, despite the fact that it's a violation of the law of physics for Ausmus to slip the tag on the front of the foot and then materialize his glove behind Sanders' leg. I mean, I can't complain too loudly - we're in the playoffs and we've had our share of things break our way this year, but I'd much rather see umpire consistency, personally.

You know, the new pass interference rules have made watching these first couple of weeks very frustrating, from a fantasy (and football fan) perspective. It's almost as if the NFL are running some kind of bizarre experiment where they only told half of the referees about the new pass interference restrictions. There's just no consistency in enforcement whatsoever. Some guys are still getting away with absolute murder and other guys are getting flagged for foul language. What gives?

Listen really closely to the cymbals - they're always the same pitch and timbre, which is virtually impossible to do in real life. Honestly, I'm not really sure what to think of this one. I think some of the stuff that they did was actually kind of intriguing (the vocal harmonies are very interesting), but the shift to a minor drone kind of diffuses the release of the harmonic tension behind the whole song. The verse carries the tune now, as cymbals almost drown out the reinvented chorus...which is probably a good thing, since it seems mired in indecision between the original song and the newer, more depressing key. I mean, the original "Imagine" wasn't exactly the happiest song of all time, but MJK and Co. are kind of stretching it by turning it into a death march. But that's the point, isn't it? APC could have easily subbed in new words and released this as an original tune (outside of the words, I bet nine out of ten people wouldn't make the connection to the original)...but the quotation itself is the intended shock and, as a result, the song becomes the ultimate theme for your liberal propaganda video; take a song of optimism from a happier time, twist it into a dystopian dirge, slip in some graphic images of missiles striking Iraq and starving children, and then kick it out the door to disturb the public. I really want to like it and it's hard to say that it destroys the overall intent of the song; the original song was a philosophical invitation to be open-minded and, somehow, I imagine that Lennon wouldn't mind seeing his song requoted to "fight against an oppressive regime" (to wax melodramatic for a second). But, despite the song's ballsy ambitions, the shift in tone and overall lack of musicianship seems to take away more than it gives to the song. This "Imagine" isn't a career-defining grasp towards higher thought - it's just a decent Top 40 radio single and, while that's certainly not a bad outcome, it is undeniably a downgrade from the legacy of the original song.

Interesting note about the Athletics: they've had a .700 winning percentage in September in the four seasons from 2000-2003 (21-7, 17-4, 18-8, and 14-11, respectively). This year, they're 10-14 in September, with a 5.24 ERA for the month.

Yeah, PIT/MIA got postponed to 8:30 EST tonight, I believe, due to Hurricane Jeanne.

I wonder if the Bloodhound Gang knows they're being ripped off.

In other fantasy bust news, David Carr is 0/5 with an INT early against the porous KC defense he was supposed to shred.

I rented it and played for about three hours today...and just stopped. Seriously, there's nothing propelling me to play forward. The plot is fairly dull and moronic (I'm expecting the Hellbaby to pop up at any given moment), the gameplay has actually regressed, and the much-celebrated enemy design is pretty lame here. You have no connection to the worlds you speed around to, the main character has no real reaction to all of this other than "what the hell?"...in the end, it doesn't really feel like Silent Hill at all. I'll probably try it again later, but this one just about put me to sleep.

Because it is. The two best teams in the Majors. Except that they both have lesser records than the St. Louis Cardinals. Sometimes, records can be misleading. Take a look at the 2000 Yankees. Plus, the Cardinals don't have to play Boston or NY like 19 times a year. They also don't get to play tee-ball with Toronto or Baltimore 19 times a year. And it's not like the NL Central has been a complete joke either, with Chicago and Houston battling for the wild card.

What he said. Emmitt draws a revitalized Falcons run D with no passing attack to keep them honest, Caldwell gets to dance with Champ Bailey this week, and the Jacksonville offense still hasn't picked it up, leaving Jimmy Smith on the outside as well. The only concern with Barber is the possibility of Dayne snatching up the goal-line carries. Pass on Caldwell - Brees fell back to earth last week and he'll be on a short leash anyway. Plus that Champ Bailey guy, who'll be smothering Caldwell because there's virtually no other WR threat on the squad. Smith & Lelie draw a nice matchup against the Chargers and either of them would make a better play than Caldwell, provided Plummer throws all of his passes with the correct arm this week. I'd personally lean toward Smith if I had to pick one, especially if the league scored return yards to the player, rather than the team. Johnson may not be a bad play in a league that counts receptions, but I'm not sure I'd expect anything more than yardage out of Keyshawn this week.

Actually, the Yankees tend to hit lefties just a hair better than righties, according to their splits: NYY vs. LHP: .279/.364/.477 NYY vs. RHP: .268/.352/.456 Boston's splits are fairly indistinguishable as well: BOS vs. LHP: .285/.355/.474 BOS vs. RHP: .280/.362/.470 If you want to see a very pronounced split out of the playoff-contending teams, check out the righty-heavy Cubs lineup: CHC vs. LHP: .252/.317/.423 CHC vs. RHP: .276/.331/.473

... Why don't we just delete the last 16 posts in this thread, pretend it was all a bad dream, and then try to have some non-ESPN non-East Coast-angst-flavored baseball discussion? Oh, and one more thing: Because it is. The two best teams in the Majors. Except that they both have lesser records than the St. Louis Cardinals.

Interesting that both Waits and Bjork have made a move towards vocal percussion with their recent albums.

Yeah, and who ended up winning the game last night? San Francisco. Teams are just walking games away by giving this team a free base runner.

Actually, if I had to pick my World Series, I think there could be a good shot of seeing the 1987 Redux~! of St. Louis and Minnesota...which would make for an absurd set of games.

All three of these kickers have pretty favorable conditions to kick in (they're all playing in domes), so the best indicator may be to investigate the "flow" of the game. For Morten Andersen, I think you can probably expect more extra points than field goals, especially since the Vikings' offense takes on a new life at home and the Minnesota D could actually turn this into a shootout with Thomas Jones and the Bears. Given his age and lack of range (and, hence, lack of points in leagues that give bonuses to FG yardage), Andersen probably has the least upside of the three. Choose him if you want to guarantee four points on the board. In Carney's case, he's playing behind a team with no running back - McAllister's not going to play, despite the asinine medical upgrade to "questionable." This unfortunately cheats the Saints out of an opportunity to exploit the Rams' hideous rush defense, since they'll have the two-headed Ki-Jana Stecker Beast in the backfield, but this also means that Carney could be kicking a lot of short field goals without a running game to punch into the end zone. Conversely, the Rams' atrocious run defense has effectively obscured the defensive prowess of their injury-riddled secondary (Aeneas Williams is shifting back to CB from S to fill the holes), so Carney could also be shut out if the Saints' pass offense continually stalls. Carney's probably the biggest gamble of the three - pick him if you want a shot at double-digit points and are unafraid to take a donut. That leaves Ryan Longwell, who would be my personal choice. After the embarrassing home loss to the Bears, Favre will be bringing his "A game" to Indianapolis to meet the challenge of playing opposite Peyton Manning. That being said, this won't necessarily be the shootout the everybody expects - both teams are equally balanced in the run and pass, but both defenses are better than their numbers claim. This one's likely going to come down to the kickers, which isn't a bad proposition for the Packers: Longwell has been consistent throughout his career and he still has the range to throw down a 50 yarder in a dome. I'd expect anywhere from three to nine points, not counting yardage bonuses. As far as the #3 receiver goes...I'd lean towards Keyshawn. Vinny's currently on pace to throw 800 times this year and, with Julius Jones knocked out of the RB merry-go-round, the Cowboys' reliance on passing doesn't look to change. As for Fitzgerald, Atlanta's DEF seems to have bounced back from last year and, since Larry is essentially the only breakaway threat on the field, he's going to get a lot of attention. Don't drink Dennis Green's kool-aid and stay away from Fitzgerald this week. Hope this helps.

Bad news in St. Louis, from MLB.com: This team has been a walking infirmary for the last three years and now, when we finally have a season when everybody seems to be healthy and all of the talent is finally in place, the injury bug strikes Kline, Walker, Rolen, and Carpenter as we approach the playoffs. But 2002 proved that this team had the fortitude to succeed in spite of injuries, and I'm going to remain optimistic that the heart of this team will do whatever it takes to win in October.

"All websites on this server are temporarily disabled due to recent hacker activity. We will enable all accounts again after the situation is resolved. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause." I give up.

Flik, your trades...what the hell's the point?

And Oliver Perez opens up the game with two strikeouts. Awesome.

Well, they did move to St. Louis in 1960.

I've got great news for you - I activated my roster today (just joined) so, unless I missed some deadline, you'll be playing against the full squad this week. That being said... All right, we can look at this a couple of different ways: SHORT TERM (this week) All three QBs are starting, but all three have less than favorable matchups. Ramsey will likely take over for Brunell, but he gets the Cowboys' secondary to deal with and, other than Coles, his options are very mediocre (Portis won't be a factor, I wouldn't bank on Cooley, and Gardner is merely serviceable). Roethlisberger, however, has plenty of guys to throw to in Pittsburgh, but he's a rookie (you can hear Cowher tearing pages out of the playbook) who draws Miami's D as his first start. Gannon has had the best statistical performance of the three, by virtue of actually having playing time, but he faces Tampa Bay, who still have a very intimidating pass defense. Overall, all three guys are pretty lousy plays this week. But, while Ramsey and Roethlisberger's team will be looking to establish the run, Gannon and the Raiders have no running game to rely on, which means more attempts for Gannon. I'd give him the start this week. LONG TERM All three guys are looking at competition for playing time (if Maddox comes back), but Roethlisberger could emerge as your better option for the long haul, just by virtue of having Ward, Burress, Randle El, and Staley to throw to. The odd man out is Patrick Ramsey, who didn't exactly light the world on fire with his quarterback play last week and struggled with turnovers last year (9/8 TD to INT ratio). If anybody's willing to bite on Ramsey, I'd try to move him and attempt to sell based on the future of the Redskins offense...whatever that may be.

All right, I'm officially in as the Eek! Destructo-Frogs. And, since we're already into the season, I'll be a nice guy and let you have a two game headstart.