JJ Johnson

"Morman, Pop. Morman."

Another for the "if only they were healthy" set! Zigmund Palffy, W Four-time All Star 713 points in 684 games (out of a possible 984 games, the hobbled jerk) Hilarious name

Forsberg. Neely. LaFontaine. Tim Kerr, W Three-time All Star 1989 Bill Masterton Trophy Winner NHL record for most power-play goals in a season (34) Philadelphia Flyers record for most 50-goal seasons and most consecutive 50-goal seasons (4) Shares NHL playoff record for most goals in a period (4) Holds NHL playoff record for most power-play goals in a period (3) 370 goals 304 assists Tim Kerr was nearly immovable in the slot, contributing to his incredible abilities in man advantage situations, but he was plagued by injuries, playing only 655 out of a possible 1,066 games. In those 655 games, though, he scored 674 points, leading one to wonder what might have been had he stayed healthy. The Masterton Trophy means the dude's got, with apologies to Czech, da fiyah and da passion, and his 6'3", 225 size means he's going to be able to bully some of your sissy smaller players something awful. Better keep the penalties to a minimum, ladies. Tim Kerr's on the loose. (Obviously, I decided to hold off on a modern player)

If you're looking at modern players, cower in fear. Otherwise, you're safe.

Bernie Federko was the guy I was hemming and hawing about.

"Aunt Louise loved to teach us all lessons. It seemed like not a day went by when she wouldn't say, 'I'm going to teach you a lesson.'"

I have a bunch of old, slow, crappy defensemen that most certainly won't last the season. January and the accompanying trade willingness can't come soon enough.

Those numbers are fairly ugly, I can see that. Beats the shit out of Mike Smith, though. I'll have to give this Ramo chap a try first. Who do you have in mind to deal Chara for, or are you just going to find whatever team will give you young, fast defensemen?

I tried it for what you're looking for, actually, and it turned up no results at all, but for future reference: Do a Google advanced search for the artist name and album name and limit the search to blogspot.com. Most of the time, it'll turn up blogs with Rapidshare or MegaUpload links. Had I done a bulleted list, this sentence would instead be the "profit" bullet.

Good call. I'll probably end up dumping off people like Tim Taylor near the deadline, too, the really old guys with decent ratings that'll net me some prospects and are probably on their way out. Lost my first Lightning game to New Jersey 4-3, but outshot them 60-24. Looks like I'm going to have to call up Marc Denis to play goal. I don't know why their best goalie is in the minors anyway.

Rask and Stuart took 5 point jumps and I didn't even figure out how to play AHL games until the offseason, so who knows. I'm going to hope so, because Tampa Bay's prospects are pretty sad.

If I play as the WannaBs or, in my new Dynasty, Norfolk, and win, do my prospects get any better than they would if I just left them alone?

Are you familiar with the Blogspot trick? That's how I find all of my music.

Fuck small, fast teams that are somehow impossible to knock off the puck, by the way. I'm looking at you, Philadelphia and Buffalo.

You can do that? Holy shit, it's like Christmas.

I broke the four goal mark in a 5-2 rout of Dallas, with every one of the Av line getting a goal. One last West Coast game (against San Jose with Brian Boucher in goal) and then I finally get a stretch of home games. Seems like it's easier to score in the away orientation, coming down towards the goal. Has anyone else found that?

I can see LaFontaine being kind of borderline, but Hawerchuk? A pox on your sources!

I'm 1-4-1 on the season thus far, but, aside from the first two games of the season where Ottawa and Buffalo hung me out to dry, I've been losing 5-3 and 3-2 and so on, so it's really an offense problem now. Savard's really stepped up his game, though, he has three or four goals already.

Apparently every goalie sucks high glove side. Obviously, the key to offense is to go do shooting drills until I can hit those in my sleep.

Not a chance. Hawerchuk and LaFontaine are in the HOF. Canadians are inclusive; they'll let anyone in. Not to nitpick, but Hawerchuk scored 1400 points, and LaFontaine also played at an elite level when healthy. What you said is basically equivalent to "Thurman Thomas and Franco Harris are in the Hall of Fame, so they practically have to let Warrick Dunn in!" when the truth is that Linden just doesn't measure up to either of your examples.

In an unprecedented display of defensive prowess, I came within twenty seconds of shutting Florida out. A hard-earned 2-1 victory indeed. Now that I apparently have my defense together, I need to work on getting more pucks in the net. EDIT: ... so, of course, the game freezes on the quit screen and I have to turn the game off and play that game again.

I'm on whatever one is below Superstar, the second-hardest. I concur on the goalies. When I do score, which isn't often, I feel like I've earned it.

Practice mode frustrates me because it seems way rigged towards the defense. I have to score to get a point, but they get a point if they touch it? Lame. And they've decided that rather than earn goals with rebounds and one-timers and whatnot, they're just going to start potting them from wherever. Meanwhile, I probably couldn't score on an empty net, if I could ever put my opponent into such a situation.

What do these bossy bastards want from me when they yell "wheel"? Also, I don't know what deke stick moves are useful and what aren't, and you're sorry you missed out on Tuukka Rask, because he's a beast.

Yeah, sometimes you have to bully other teams. I Lupe Velezed my way into a great player by missing out on my #1 draft choice in an ill-fated 1st round/Zhamnov for Holmstrom trade at the very beginning of the year, but then signing a guy with 95 potential in free agency. Then I managed to ship Franzen, Schaefer and Thomas to Colorado for Stastny and Budaj. Budaj has Tim Thomas Syndrome, but he'll be much easier to trade and Stastny was more than worth it. Lines: Bergeron-Savard-Zherdev Wolski-Stastny-Hejduk Axelsson-Kessel-Bertuzzi Lucic-Krejci-Nilsson Chara-Johnson Lashoff-Hamhuis Wideman-Sigalet