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Dr. Zaius

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  1. Posted · Report reply

    Ann Coulter reacts in her typical intellectually honest way...

     

    HISTORIC VICTORY FOR DIEBOLD!

    by Ann Coulter

    November 8, 2006

     

    History was made this week! For the first time in four election cycles, Democrats are not attacking the Diebold Corp. the day after the election, accusing it of rigging its voting machines. I guess Diebold has finally been vindicated.

     

    So the left won the House and also Nicaragua. They've had a good week. At least they don't have their finger on the atom bomb yet.

     

    Democrats support surrender in Iraq, higher taxes and the impeachment of President Bush. They just won an election by pretending to be against all three.

     

    Jon Tester, Bob Casey Jr., Heath Shuler, possibly Jim Webb — I've never seen so much raw testosterone in my life. The smell of sweaty jockstraps from the "new Democrats" is overwhelming.

     

    Having predicted this paltry Democrat win, my next prediction is how long it will take all these new "gun totin' Democrats" to be fitted for leotards.

     

    Now that they've won their elections and don't have to deal with the hicks anymore, Tester can cut lose the infernal buzz cut, Casey can start taking "Emily's List" money, and Webb can go back to writing more incestuously homoerotic fiction ... and just in time for Christmas!

     

    But according to the media, this week's election results are a mandate for pulling out of Iraq (except in Connecticut where pro-war Joe Lieberman walloped anti-war "Ned the Red" Lamont).

     

    In fact, if the Democrats' pathetic gains in a sixth-year election are a statement about the war in Iraq, Americans must love the war! As Roll Call put it back when Clinton was president: "Simply put, the party controlling the White House nearly always loses House seats in midterm elections" — especially in the sixth year.

     

    In Franklin D. Roosevelt's sixth year in 1938, Democrats lost 71 seats in the House and six in the Senate.

     

    In Dwight Eisenhower's sixth year in 1958, Republicans lost 47 House seats, 13 in the Senate.

     

    In John F. Kennedy/Lyndon Johnson's sixth year, Democrats lost 47 seats in the House and three in the Senate.

     

    In Richard Nixon/Gerald Ford's sixth year in office in 1974, Republicans lost 43 House seats and three Senate seats.

     

    Even America's greatest president, Ronald Reagan, lost five House seats and eight Senate seats in his sixth year in office.

     

    But in the middle of what the media tell us is a massively unpopular war, the Democrats picked up about 30 House seats and five to six Senate seats in a sixth-year election, with lots of seats still too close to call. Only for half-brights with absolutely no concept of yesterday is this a "tsunami" — as MSNBC calls it — rather than the death throes of a dying party.

     

    During eight years of Clinton — the man Democrats tell us was the greatest campaigner ever, a political genius, a heartthrob, Elvis! — Republicans picked up a total of 49 House seats and nine Senate seats in two midterm elections. Also, when Clinton won the presidency in 1992, his party actually lost 10 seats in the House — only the second time in the 20th century that a party won the White House but lost seats in the House.

     

    Meanwhile, the Democrats' epic victory this week, about which songs will be sung for generations, means that in two midterm elections Democrats were only able to pick up about 30 seats in the House and four seats in the Senate — and that's assuming they pick up every seat that is currently too close to call. (The Democrats' total gain is less than this week's gain because Bush won six House and two Senate seats in the first midterm election.)

     

    So however you cut it, this midterm proves that the Iraq war is at least more popular than Bill Clinton was.

     

    In a choice between Republicans' "Stay until we win" Iraq policy or the Democrats' "Stay, leave ... stay for a while then leave ... redeploy and then come back ... leave and stay ... cut and run ... win, lose or draw policy," I guess Americans prefer the Republican policy.

     

    The Democrats say we need a "new direction" in Iraq. Yeah, it's called "reverse." Democrats keep talking about a new military strategy in Iraq. How exactly is cut-and-run a new strategy? The French have been doing it for years. The Democrats are calling their new plan for Iraq "Operation Somalia."

     

    The Democrats certainly have their work cut out for them. They have only two years to release as many terrorists as possible and lock up as many Republicans as they can. Republicans better get that body armor for the troops the Democrats are always carping about — and fast. The troops are going to need it for their backs.

     

    http://www.anncoulter.com/cgi-local/printe...cgi?article=156

     

    Notice she had to COMBINE the 1994 and 1998 election gains for Republicans to find a way to make Clinton look bad, because the Democrats actually GAINED seats in Clinton's 6th year. She RIGGED THE NUMBERS so she could cite an example that actually disproves her entire point!

     

    HOW FUCKING DISHONEST CAN ONE PERSON BE?????

     

    Dumb bitch.

     

    Measuring change is a pretty ridicules way to gage popularity, since there's no mention of how many seats each president began and ended with, only the number that changed hands. Bush's party has 199 House seats after the 2006 election (to date). Clinton's party had 211 House seats after the 1998 election. So the Iraq War is more popular than Clinton?????

  4. Posted · Report reply

    It'd be a shame if Harold Ford lost because he's running exactly the kind of campaign you should if you want to win in the south.

     

    I share your collective distaste for George Allen, but VA has been voting him into office for a long time.

     

    Both the Cook Report and the NY Times guide are calling Michigan a "toss-up" even though Gov. Granholm leads by almost 10 points in every poll.

     

    225px-Jennifer_Granholm.jpg

    Hawt.

  11. Posted · Report reply

    That wasn't funny.

     

    Oh, SNAP! J.T. didn't think it was "funny." He sure told me! And, as we can see, he made quite a well executed argument telling us why. Your clever use of the contraction "wasn't" in front of the word "funny" was quite insightful. Thank you for posting that, J.T. I feel really enlightened by your explanation. Please feel free, the future, to educate us on what color you think the grass is, in your typical persuasive style. I'm really looking forward to it.

     

    I don't understand how we can have three consecutive posts discussing why the article wasn't "funny," but not a single one of you bothered to address what the point of the article was or whether that point was valid. I mean, I didn't laugh either, but I can at least appreciate the irony of using tired, cliched criticisms of Saturday Night Live to describe a show that is (in part) a weekly criticism of Saturday Night Live. But, hey, no discussion of that.

     

    Dude...let it go.

  19. Posted · Report reply

    Of course the adminstration would have gone into Iraq even if they'd known there were no WMDs, because that was not the main reason we went over there. We could've taken out Iraq's alledged WMD capabilities without a full-blown invasion. The main reason we went over there was to create a friendly puppet state we could use to intimidate the rest of the region.

  25. Posted · Report reply

    Week 18, Day 4

    Cincinnati, Ohio: Booster’s funeral which is attended by Clark Kent, Skeets, and some really minor level heroes who were more or less looking for media attention. Clark can not understand why even though Booster had a bad time at the end he was still a hero and claims to be going to write an article on it. Skeets then notices somebody on the street which he goes to. Upon scanning this person it comes up that his name is Daniel Jon Carter who resembles a certain Michael Carter. Skeets then tells Daniel to call him later concerning his future.

    Ancestor?

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