Hawk 34

He'll mistake Punk's stomach tattoo as a belt and book him against The Major Brothers and Balls. Punk loses by count-out while befuddled by the randomness of the pairing.

Diamond Dallas Hardy here.

Well, Boggs is already in the tank. How's Jaxl doing?

Again, I ask. How is Carlito the heel here? Who hasn't wanted to back-crack a ex?

Dave, you can tell us. How annoying is that HTQ guy? What the fuck? Dave? I forgot, can't like Ric Flair here...Sorry. Meltzer, c'mon. Who else thinks Flair can do no wrong, even in paint by numbers Flair matches? You can like Flair all you want, most here do but that wasn't a good match. It was, as I said, paint by numbers.

Surgically implanted steel plate. Duh.

Shouldn't Orton take out Venis for being a porn legend? Dave, you can tell us. How annoying is that HTQ guy?

A concussion? Just give him a shot of Jager and he's ready to go. You can't get sleep under tear-stained sheets. Hunter's coming.

This has no right to go beyond 30 minutes, c'mon.

Let me throw in the I Quit match and we're good to go. We saw that terrible match just 7 years ago before Flair fell even more apart. ya..at this rate they could bring back Ricky Steamboat and Dusty Rhodes for one last match with each of them as well! Rhodes can still do a decent brawl, I'm betting. Steamboat looked pretty good in ROH then he got fatter but he could still do a damn good cross-body and ARM-DRAG! Do about 25 of those, a Flair flop, cross-body, small-package and you pretty much got a Steamboat-Flair match.

Let me throw in the I Quit match and we're good to go. We saw that terrible match just 7 years ago before Flair fell even more apart. It was nice to see Shelton's Mama recover from her illness.

We stopped counting.

Wait, what happens with Vince and Melina? "You fired Mick! Well, guess who you're wrestling tonight! CACTUS JACK!" and out comes Whippleman in Jack gear.

Hey, they actually recalled that classic skit.

See, Cade and Murdoch should have been holding the belts just to admire them while McMahon walked in thinking they were the champions.

Maybe he can find the TV title back in the garbage can.

i think you're reaching....his tats are fine...it's not like the tribal stuff that Kennedy and Orton have... CM punks has a lot of garbages tats... Not at all. Hello, Marella has the generic asian tattoos, the bird tattoo and the hideous back prison tattoo and horribly ink'd. Not to mention the beyond idioitic thigh tattoo. Punk has good ink that actually present originality as opposed to Marella, Kennedy and Orton. He has two themes going like a good sleeve ought to. Marella looks like he just walked in and said "That one" and slapped it on.

i think it's just you... Yeah. I can see Marella's shitty back tattoo in perfect clarity.

I think Marella has passed Orton and Kennedy for worst tattoos in the company.

Fook? Oh, come on. What has Funaki ever done to you?

I hope Vince goes to Smackdown and bullies Chavo.

It figures that Raw finally has something of tag division (Hardyz, WGTT, Rednecks, CT, KeNitro, Cryme Tyme and maybe High Landers) and they'll break them apart next week.

Maybe that's the key to her improvement in the ring. She still has a good body, obviously but as you can see, the new nose doesn't suit well.

First Val Venis and Balls Mahoney get PPV time and now Cryme Tyme is on Raw, in the RING no less? Okay, did someone fail a drug test again?

It seems like they'll have all the workers at the show and they'll do a lottery type draw to determine who goes where. It might actually be a "DRAFT" but since no one actually "runs" ECW, how does that work? Stevie Richards become interim GM? Hell, he is a former GM after all. For a second I thought they debuted a new Diva. I hope this isn't Candice's new character. She was just fine as the....quasi lesbian...half decent wrestling friend of Mickie that danced.