Mike wanna be

And Serena Williams buries her sport again. If you're at "40, maybe 50%", then what the fuck are you doing on the court, you stupid bitch? What's with these stupid female athletes who get hurt, play horribly, then whine about how bad they're hurt and act like it took an act of fucking God for them to lose...only to be seen playing again as soon as the next tournament rolls around to repeat the process? I'd wish for them to get hit by a bus, but then they'd just roll out in a wheelchair, complain about how there's no cripple division in their sport, and proceed to win a dozen major tournaments by default while they sit there and wave their money-counting hands and smiling that attention-seeker smile that they apparently failed to lose upon turning 11.

They re-play his entrance music, even though he never left the ring. Classy.

People will pay to see a guy lose, but not when they know he's just going to cancel that loss out with about six dozen wins immediately thereafter.

Didn't somebody say he could barely talk at age 4?

But if Nancy was leaving him, why would he want a life insurance policy with her and Daniel mentioned? Clearly he wouldn't want his death to financially benefit the woman that left him & took his kid with her. He had to figure that any money for Daniel would've just gone to Nancy regardless of when he passed due to Daniel's condition, so.

Why do they say the 93-degree heat was possibly an issue, when the human body runs at around, y'know, 98.6 ALL THE TIME? EDIT: And since they cancelled RAW and apparently sent everyone away from the arena, who cares when they found out what "actually happened"? What are they supposed to do, cut in midway through the WM XX triple threat and go "This is supposed to be a career retrospective...but upon further review, fuck Chris Benoit, here's something completely different"?

There goes the Intercontinental champion.

Nice to see that "He had steroids" somehow means "Steroids were involved". He had at least one Bible on hand, does that mean religion was involved?

It was really pronounced "hey-zeus", but they didn't like the Greek god reference and tweaked the pronunciation accordingly.

Nothing, since they blew up the car a day or two before. Actually, it did rain on the way to the show. That's what I meant; how would they portray "Vince just went outside & blew up" if he walked out to a dry limousine and it was pouring rain that night?

It's the truth.

Operation "Give yourself a push" is in full effect. What would they have done if it rained Monday night?

They don't actually check every household for the Nielsens. They have a sampling (I want to say 50,000 homes, but I don't know the exact number offhand) of families that agree to "work" the ratings. In essence, they have an extra button on their remotes that says "Watching TV"; when they are watching it, they push the button and that sends a signal back to Nielsen HQ to show what channel they're watching, when they change channels, when they mute, and so forth. When they stop watching for whatever reason, they push the button again and that tells HQ to stop reading their report. They take the ratio of homes in the sampling that have the channel & watched it at that time to homes in the United States with access to that channel, and get a "number of people watching the show". They then send that into the rating formula and get a rating from it.

It only counts if you held a WWE title. ECW's belt wasn't WWE property during Sandman's reigns. [/lame excuse to not put Sandman in the match]

I never thought I'd see tax records used in a religious debate.

I distinctly heard a "He's not dead" chant start up before they cut the crowd mics.

I know I wasn't the only one hoping for some "Missah Mac Man? Numba one! Missah Coach? Hawk, ptoo!"

Muscle shirts from WGTT in tribute! Classy.

I have this feeling that this angle is going to end up like something from Dallas. In other words the angle is going to get really out there, a bunch of crazy shit is going to happen then all of a sudden Linda wakes up in bed and then finds Vince in the shower and the whole death thing was all a dream. I hope we don't get her finding Vince in the shower. If he wanted Kane to have three feet of junk between his legs in See No Evil, I shudder to think how much the Genetic Jackhammer would have dangling over his grapefruits.

There are several TV shows that won't touch on subjects due to their nature. In the WWE alone, Akeem & the Boss Man aren't "The Twin Towers" since 9/11. I can all but guarantee we'll never see Hassan's insurgent assault on the Undertaker shown the day of the London terror attacks. Several stations wouldn't show the Simpsons episode involving the towers until months, years after 9/11. It's certainly not unprecedented to change plans due to real-world circumstances. Where the main problem comes in is that a real person died, and she would be LUCKY to get a sixty-second vignette to open RAW. Meanwhile, a man that's not really dead will undoubtedly be receiving his fourth and fifth memorial HOURS on that same show (and the storyline itself will most likely carry throughout the summer, if not longer); and for what? Is Vince going to hide in his mansion until he dies, have a hearse sneak in the back, take him to a cemetery at 3 in the morning and bury him when no one's watching so kayfabe is preserved? Face facts, sooner or later (either through booking or botch) it's going to be televised on WWE programming that he's not really dead. Anyone with two brain cells can do enough Google searches (one) to find out that it was a stunt and he's not really dead, because WWE.com is the only site out there saying he is. The only, ONLY way this is remotely redeemable is if it turns into a parody; and it would have to be one hell of a parody, because otherwise WWE is basically saying "Our fanbase is too ignorant and stupid to believe real-world reports, and will buy into whatever we tell them regardless of who says otherwise."

As stated previously, without evil there can be no good, as each is, at its core, defined by being the opposite of the other. Free will's just there to fuck us out of a free trip to heaven. That's all there is to it.

This is the dumbest idea in the thread for a few reasons. First of all, it would lead to QB's just plunking one in the dirt when they're under pressure inside the pocket. They'd never get sacked any more, and when they do actually get hit, it will be some wimpy roughing call. Which brings me to my NFL commish point. Cut back on the roughing penalties, and eliminate "running into the kicker." The fifteen yard roughing calls when the punter gets smoked, fine, but get rid of that five yard bullshit when the guy gets nicked by a defender, giving the team a 1st. Stop penalizing defenders for HITTING. That's part of the game. For those concerned about the health implications, improve the NFL's retirement and pension system for the old timers. Butkus would get thrown out of the league in today's game, which is pitiful. He went on record saying that when he hit a guy, he was trying to kill them. So...players that are attempting "murder" on the field shouldn't be thrown out? I agree on the elimination of 5-yard running into the kicker, but come on, safety first everywhere else. I think it sucks that that guy let Vince Young go for fear of a roughing the passer penalty and it turned into a big play. I think it sucks that a 290+ pound guy running about as fast as he can with a 330+ pound guy in his way is supposed to not only see through said 330+ pounder to tell whether or not the QB has thrown the ball, but also be able to stop on a dime and avoid breathing on him for fear of a penalty. I also think it sucks that so many NFL veterans are ending up with brains rivaling the WWI veterans.

You're giving me a bad name. Stop that.

NHL: 1) Make everybody wear the same face masks they wear in college hockey. If they want to fight, drop the mask once the gloves are off. A 100mph frozen hunk of rubber should not have an unobstructed path to anybody's face. Neither should a hockey stick, whether intentionally or accidentally swung in that direction. 2) 3 points for a win in regulation, 2 points for a win in overtime, 1 for a win in the shootout. No points for losers, regardless of when they lose. 3) Better TV deal. Every playoff game starting with the conference semis should be televised. Hell, if there were enough ESPN channels I'd say every playoff game period. MLB: 1) Everybody plays everybody. Two home games & two road games against every team is 58 games...there's still 102 left. 2) Stop ramming rivalries down our throats. Sure, Yankees/Red Sox. Okay Mets/Braves. But seriously, Marlins/Nationals? Devil Rays/Blue Jays? Too many divisional games. 3) No Clemens clause. You want to play so freaking bad, show up every day or else find another league to pitch in. NBA: 1) With under 3 minutes to play, if the lead is greater than 7, any foul leads to the remaining shot clock time ticking off the game clock (so if there's 14 seconds on the shot clock, 14 seconds go off the game clock) and the team that was fouled is awarded 2 points, and possession goes to the fouling team. Enough of this "We're down 20, let's foul for the entire fourth quarter and try to get back in it!" bullshit, you're losing, let's just get it over with. 2) New draft lottery: The teams that have the first five selections select 5 players they'd like with those picks. Have a lottery drawing for each player that has been selected by at least two teams to determine who gets them, with the number of losses that team has equaling the number of ping-pong balls they get in that lottery. It's like giving the worst team the #1 pick, except...y'know, not. 3) Let players be DRAFTED at any age, but they must have be at least two years out of high school before they can PLAY. (So they can be drafted at 18, but they need to play 2 years of college before they can go pro)

Agreed. But should it?