ECW Barely Legal

[Guest darrdorecw4life]

(8:00-8:07) We come on the air as Joey Styles is standing in the ring. The sold out crowd is chanting ECW! ECW! ECW! “Hello everyone, and welcome to ECW Barely Legal!! (big cheer) We are at The Madhouse of Extreme, the Elks Lodge, in Elmhurst, New York!! (another pop) I’m Joey Styles and at this time I’d like introduce my guest, he is a 2-time former ECW World Heavyweight Champion, the “Human Suplex Machine” TAZ!! (big pop) Here comes Taz. He gets in the ring. Joey: “Taz, it’s good to see you back in the only place that treated you with any kind of respect and didn’t make you job to the unstoppable forces that are Funaki and Crash Holly, ECW! (cheer) Taz: “Thanks Joe, I just wanted to say to the fans who stuck with me all through that bullshit, thanks a lot. You know I’ve always said how I didn’t give a shit what the fans thought about me but they’re the ones who make this business so they deserve credit.” (cheers) Joey: “Well tonight Taz you have a match with arguably your toughest opponent ever, Bam Bam Bigelow.” Taz: “Yeah, and I respect Bigelow, he’s a tough son of a bitch and he’s been around for a long time so I’ve got quite a challenge ahead of me tonight. All I got to say to Bigelow is Beat me if you can, survive if I le..” Bam Bam comes from behind and ambushes Taz! He works over Taz with punches, forearms, and headbutts. He takes Taz out onto the apron and hits the Greetings from Asbury Park through the ringside table! Taz is unconscious as we go to commercial.

 

(commercial)

 

(8:11-8:18) A replay is shown of the Bigelow attack on Taz. We go to our first match of the evening. “Heat” by DMX plays. At first the fans are confused but then out comes “Latino Heat” himself, Eddy Guerrero. He is followed by his opponent in this first round match for the World television title, Swinger to the sounds of “Simon Says” by Drain STH. The ring announcer does his job and we’re under way. John “Pee Wee” Moore is your referee. They lock up, Eddy gets a side headlock on, Swinger pushes him off into the ropes and shoulderblocks Eddy down. He runs to the ropes, Eddy ducks under, Swinger jumps over him and comes back with a clothesline. He backs up and then catches Eddy with a swinging neckbreaker. He stomps Eddy a few times, picks him up and hits a DDT, 1-2-kickout by Eddy.

 

Swinger picks him up, hooks him and hits a nice suplex and gets another 2 count. He tries another suplex but Eddy goes up and over and hits a back suplex. He gets up and grinds Swinger’s face with his boot. He picks Swinger up and hits a stiff brainbuster, 1-2-nope. He goes to the outside and slingshots himself in, flipping in mid air and driving his shoulders and back into Swinger and gets another 2. Eddy whips Swinger to the ropes and bends down for a back body drop, but Swinger grabs him and hits the Swing Thing (cobra clutch/Russian legsweep) for a close 2 count. He goes up top but Eddy dropkicks his feet and he gets crotched on the top rope. Eddy goes up and Frankensteiners him off the top for yet another 2 count.

 

He goes back up top but misses his frog splash. Both men lay on the mat, tired. They slowly get up, Swinger a bit faster. He looks to be going for a piledriver or something but Eddy keeps holding on to Swinger’s legs. Swinger gets frustrated and pounds on Eddy’s back and turns and walks around trying to think of what to do. Wrong. That was the opening Eddy needed, he boots Swinger in the stomach, sets him up for a powerbomb, lifts him up into a Razor’s Edge position and nails a sit-out powerbomb. There it is, his Black Tiger Bomb. 1-2-3!! WINNER---Eddy Guerrero in 5:49

 

(commercial)

 

(8:22-8:29) Our next match is under way as Kid Kash and Joey Matthews are in the ring. H.C. Loc is your referee. Matthews charges at Kash but Kash hits a drop toehold, but misses a follow up legdrop. Matthews is back up and hits his own drop toehold on Kash, misses an elbowdrop. Kash whips Matthews to the ropes, misses a chop, Matthews off the other side and hits a diving forearm, and then an armdrag, and then dropkicks Kash out of the ring. He goes for a slingshot bodypress outside but Kash moves and Matthews crashes to the floor. Kash gets on the apron and hits a corkscrew flip to the outside on Matthews! (ECW! ECW! ECW!) Back in and Kash gets a 2. He hits a moonsault press for another 2.

 

He whips Joey to the ropes but Matthews catches him with an inverted bulldog (ala Matt Hardy) on the way back. He picks him up and hits a backbreaker and gets a 2. Joey picks Kash up and hits a face first suplex. He goes up and comes off with a splash to Kash’s back and gets a 2. He whips Kash to the ropes and ducks and Kash nails a swinging DDT. He boosts him up on the turnbuckles and hits a hurucanrana off the top for a 2. He goes back up and hits a front missile dropkick and gets yet another 2. He sets him up for the Money Maker but Matthews picks him up and crotches him on the top turnbuckle. He goes up and hits his own top-rope Frankensteiner but gets only a 2 and a half! He DDTs Kash down and goes up again. He misses a flying legdrop and Kash capitalizes with his Money Maker (double underhook piledriver) and gets the three! WINNER---Kid Kash in 6:36

 

(commercial)

 

(8:33-8:37) NTrance’s “Stayin’ Alive” plays as the FBI make their way out with Big Sal Graziano. Then “Thunderkiss 65” by White Zombie hits and The Pitbulls come running out and the ring announcer can’t even get a word out as this match is under way! Mike Keaner is the ref. The Pitbulls both hit clotheslines on the FBI. They then pair off, Pitbull 1 with Mamaluke, Pitbull 2 with Guido. Both Pitbulls whip their men off the ropes and hit stereo back body drops, followed by another whip and double powerslam but Mamaluke and Guido kick out of the pin attempts. Double whip, double spinebuster! They pick the Italians up and hit double gorilla press slams. Big Sal gets up on the apron but the Pitbulls knock him off through a table! Pitbull 1 goes outside and puts a table in the ring as Pitbull 2 stomps on Mamaluke and Guido. Pitbull sets up the table in the middle of the ring. Pitbull 1 puts Guido on the table as Pitbull 2 gets up on the turnbuckles. Pitbull 1 takes Mamaluke and lifts him up to Pitbull 2 and Pitbull 2 Superbombs him off the top, onto Guido and through the table!! (fans chant ECW! ECW! ECW!) Pitbull 2 pins both and the Pitbulls advance in the tag team title tournament with a total squash victory! Will anyone be able to stop the Pitbulls? WINNER---The Pitbulls in 3:48

 

(commercial)

 

(8:41-8:55) We are shown a video of the many times Rhino has attacked the Sandman’s wife. Piledriver through the table. Gore through the table. Gore on Sandman through the table while he carried his wife. Then it showed Rhino winning the ECW World Heavyweight title from the Sandman at Guilty as Charged 2001.

 

“Debonaire” by Dope hits and here comes Rhino looking madder than a whore without her heroin. And then “Enter Sandman” by Metallica hits and the Sandman comes through the crowd smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer, Singapore cane in hand. He takes a few minutes, feeding beer to random fans. He gets in and stares down with Rhino as the ring announcer does his job. The ref is Jim Molineaux. Sandman downs a beer, smashes the can on his forehead, and ducks a lunging Rhino. Sandman spits beer in Rhino’s face and canes him in the head! He goes for another cane shot but Rhino ducks a nails a clothesline. He stomps away at Sandman. He picks Sandman up and punches him a few times. He tosses Sandman outside the ring. He whips Sandman to the guardrail and Sandman nails it upside down! They brawl back to the entrance and go through the curtain.

 

A few seconds go by and Rhino comes flying out! Sandman then re-emerges with a ladder in tow! (big pop) He throws it on Rhino. He tosses Rhino back in the ring, then the ladder, then a table!, and then he gets in himself. Rhino stops him half way and pounds away on Sandman. Whip to the ropes, spinebuster! He picks Sandman up and hits a belly to belly suplex. He goes up top and hits a splash from the top rope for a 2 count. He whips Sandman to the corner, charges in, but misses the Gore! Sandman chops him a few times, lifts him up to the turnbuckles, and hits the Heinekenrana! He picks Rhino up and piledrives him on the unopened table and gets a 2. He puts the ladder on top of Rhino, goes out to the apron and slingshots back in with a legdrop, driving the ladder into Rhino! 1-2-Rhino somehow kicks out.

 

Sandman stands the ladder up in the corner and whips Rhino face first into it! He tries it again but Rhino reverses and Sandman goes crashing upside down into the ladder. Whip to the ropes bu Rhino, he ducks, but Sandman catches him with a DDT! He lays the ladder leaning on the second rope. He lays Rhino on the ladder, goes up top and comes off for a legdrop but Rhino moves and Sandman gets crotched! Rhino suplexes Sandman onto the ladder! He picks him up and hits a British Bulldog-style powerslam for another 2 count. Rhino sets the table up in the corner. He turns around right into a low blow by the Sandman! He leans Rhino on the table, and tries to somersault Rhino through the table but Rhino moved again, and Sandman went through! Rhino goes to the other side, waiting for the Gore but LORI FULLINGTON, the Sandman’s wife, comes in and GORES RHINO!

 

She starts wailing away on Rhino to a massive pop by the crowd! But Rhino has enough and grabs Lori by the hair and stands up and puts her head between his legs. He’s gonna piledrive her again! But The Sandman comes from behind and puts his cane around Rhino and hits the White Russian Legsweep! 1-2-thr..NO! Rhino kicks out! Lori again pounces on Rhino and starts punching him again but Sandman lifts her off of him. He tries to get her out of the ring but she won’t go. Sandman shrugs and turns around, only to be gored by Rhino! Rhino clotheslines Lori. He picks up Sandman and piledrives him for the thr..NO! Sandman kicked out! Rhino gets pissed off and picks Sandman back up and piledrives him on the ladder and gets the 3! WINNER---Rhino in 13:01

 

(commercial)

 

(8:59-9:09) “Highway to Hell” by AC/DC plays and Spike Dudley comes to the ring. Then “Jungle Boogie” by Kool & The Gang plays and 2 Cold Scorpio comes out. Ring announcer finishes and let’s go. John Finnegan is the ref. The two friends shake hands before getting it on. They lock up, Scorpio gets a headlock on Spike, Spike pushes him to the ropes, Scorpio back off, shoulderblocks Spike down. Spike rolls over, Scorp hops over and bounces of the other side, Spike with a leapfrog, and dropkicks Scorpio out of his boots! He takes Scorp over again with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. He goes for a hurucanrana but Scorpio holds on and tries to powerbomb him. Spike shifts his weight and hurucanranas Scorp over the top rope to the floor! He goes back up top and comes off with a plancha on Scorpio! Spike now with a hurucanrana on the floor! (fans chanting Spike! Spike! Spike!) He rolls Scorpio back into the ring and gets a 2 count. He goes up top and comes off with a leaping bulldog! He gets another 2.

 

He kicks Scorp and goes for the Acid Drop but Scorp launches him across the ring. Scorp then hits a standing spin kick, a superkick, and a moonsault and gets a 2. He DDT’s Spike down and hits a splash off the top for another 2. Irish whip, powerslam, another 2. He tosses Spike outside, slingshots over onto the apron and then springs off the second turnbuckle with a crossbody to Spike on the floor! (ECW! ECW! ECW!) They go back into the ring, Scorp whips Spike to the corner, but misses a splash in the corner. Spike goes up and comes off for a hurucan-Lita but Scorpio powerbombs him down. Scorp then goes up top and hits his 450 Splash for the three count! WINNER---2 Cold Scorpio in 9:45

 

(commercial)

 

(9:13-9:22) Here comes Simon Diamond, accompanied by his lovely fiancée Dawn Marie to “Simon Says” by Drain STH. Then out comes the recently re-united Al Snow and Head to “Breathe” by Prodigy. The ring announcer does his job, your ref is Pee Wee Moore. Simon is laughing at Snow for talking to Head. Snow swings at Simon with Head but Simon ducks and boots him in the gut. He whips Snow to the ropes and catches Snow in the midsection with a knee. He hits a Russian legsweep and gets a 1 and a half count. He punches away on Al, kicks him in the gut, and hits a DDT. He gets a 2. He picks him up and hits 2 snap suplexes in a row followed by a suplex into an X Factor (like K-Kwik’s Hat Rack Crack). That’s the Simon Series and he gets another 2 with it.

 

Another whip to the ropes, Simon ducks down but Snow puts the brakes on and boots Simon, followed by a clothesline. He goes for a piledriver, Simon blocks and back body drops him but Snow holds on and sunset flips Simon for a 2. Simon gets up and swings but Snow catches him like for a Rock Bottom and lifts him and switches in mid-move into a sit-out powerbomb! He calls it the Snow Blower. He gets a 2 with that. He then goes up top and hits a flying legdrop, followed by a top rope moonsault for a 2. He picks up Simon but Simon goes low. He tries a belly to belly but Snow hooks his arms and repeatedly headbutts Simon. He goes for his Snow Plow but Simon escapes and hits a reverse DDT for another 2 count.

 

Simon is arguing with the ref. Snow takes the opportunity and grabs Head and smokes Simon with it! He goes for the cover but Dawn Marie puts Simon’s foot on the ropes! The ref is telling Dawn not to interfere. Snow hits the Snow Plow and covers but the ref is still talking to Dawn Marie! He goes over and pulls Dawn up to the apron and kisses her. Swinger comes in the ring as the ref is trying to break up Snow and Dawn Marie and him and Simon hit the Problem Solver (flapjack/DDT combo) and Simon rolls on Snow for the pin! WINNER---Simon Diamond in 8:30

 

(commercial)

 

(9:22-9:39) “Real Solution #9” by White Zombie hits and out come Saturn and Kronus, the Eliminators. Then “Holy Man” by One Minute Silence starts and the Sinister Minister leads Mikey Whipwreck and Tajiri to the ring. Ring announcer’s done, referee H.C. Loc is ready. Mikey starts out against Saturn. Mikey’s making fun of Saturn’s cross eyes. Saturn’s flips out and peppers Mikey with punches. Whip, back body drop. He superkicks Mikey down and Mikey tags in Tajiri. Tajiri charges and Saturn takes him down with a drop toehold. He whips him, Kronus in with a kick to the chest and Saturn hits a scissors kick to the side of Tajiri’s head! Tajiri and Mikey regroup outside. Tajiri gets on the apron but Saturn springboards out and clotheslines Tajiri off the apron to the floor! Mikey then slingshots out and flips onto Saturn with Air Mikey. Kronus cartwheels and backflips over the top rope and out onto Mikey and Saturn! Tajiri then gets up and Asai moonsaults onto all three! (ECW! ECW! ECW!)

 

Tajiri and Kronus get in the ring and start fighting as Mikey and Saturn brawl on the outside. Kronus misses a spin kick and Tajiri dropkicks his knee. Tajiri hits a back kick right to Kronus’ mouth! Kronus’ lip is busted. Tajiri hangs him in the Tree of Woe, gets a chair from the Minister, puts the chair in front of Kronus’ face and then dropkicks the chair right into Kronus’ face once again! (fans: Tajiri! Tajiri! Tajiri!) Mikey Russian legsweeps Saturn into the guardrail on the outside. Tajiri locks on the Sharpshooter and turns Kronus over. Kronus’ head is under the bottom rope on the apron. Mikey gets in the ring and slingshots over and legdrops Kronus’ head on the apron! Kronus tumbles to the outside. Saturn gets in and Tajiri drills him in the ribs with a kick that sends Saturn to his knees, Mikey kicks Saturn in the chest, Tajiri with one of his Buzzsaw kicks to the head, and then they double dropkick Saturn in the head!

 

Kronus is back in and clotheslines both of them down. He whips Tajiri, Tajiri tries for the Handspring elbow but Kronus kicks him in the back, hits a spin kick, slams Tajiri down and springs off the second turnbuckle with a corkscrew flip splash. He gets a 2.

Kronus tags Saturn and Saturn hits a flying elbowdrop for another 2. He then sends Tajiri down with an overhead belly to belly suplex. He whips Tajiri to the corner and charges in but Tajiri lifts his legs up and locks in the Tarantula! Kronus gets in to stop it but Mikey takes him down with a drop toehold. He locks Kronus’ legs around one of his legs in an Indian Deathlock, reaches back and grabs Kronus’ head, and then turns over onto his stomach, holding Kronus’ hair. They let go of their holds.

 

Tajiri goes up and tries a missile dropkick but Saturn gets out of the way and Tajiri crashes down. Mikey tries for the Whippersnapper on Kronus but gets shoved off. Kronus then boots him in the stomach and hits a powerbomb as Saturn slams Tajiri. They then spring onto the second turnbuckle and come off with simultaneous moonsaults, but Mikey and Tajiri both kick out at 2. Saturn picks up Tajiri but Tajiri slaps his hands away and goes for the green mist but Saturn ducked and Mikey got the mist in the face! Tajiri then tried a roundhouse front kick on Saturn but he ducked and nailed the spin kick to the heels as Kronus nailed the spin kick up top, Total Elimination! Saturn clotheslines Mikey over the top as Kronus gets the 3 on Tajiri! WINNER---The Eliminators in 16:56

 

(commercial)

 

(9:44-9:57) “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns ‘n Roses plays as the “Beast from the East” makes his way to the ring. “War Machine” hits and here comes Taz, towel over head, ready to kick ass but no doubt smarting from the Greetings from Asbury Park through the table earlier in the night. The replay is shown. Ring announcer does his job, the ref is Mike Keaner. Here we go. They stare down to begin the match. They come to punches, trading back and forth. Bam Bam with a couple of headbutts but Taz comes back with more punches. Taz runs to the ropes and comes back with a shoulderblock but Bam doesn’t budge. Another one and he doesn’t budge again. Bigelow challenges Taz to try it again and Taz does. Bam tries a clothesline but Taz ducks and comes back with a big clothesline of his own. He T-Bones TazPlexes Bam, then nails a Head and Arm Tazplex. He covers but Bam kicks out at just barely 2.

 

Taz runs to the ropes again but Bam catches him with a Samoan drop. Bam then drops a couple headbutts. He picks Taz up, grabs his arm, and nails a short-arm clothesline. He nails a powerbomb and then an impressive top rope moonsault for a 2 count. He drops Taz back down with a DDT and goes up top again. This time he hits a diving headbutt and Taz just BARELY gets his shoulder up at two. Bam goes outside and gets a table and sets it up in the corner. He goes to whip Taz into it but hits an overhead belly 2 belly Tazplex. He Samoan drops Bigelow and gets a 2. He whips Bigelow to the ropes but Bam puts on the brakes. Taz charges but Bam Bam back drops him over the top, Taz holds on gets on the apron, hooks Bam and T-Bones him over the top through the ringside table!! (Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!)

 

Back in the ring Taz gets a 2. He signals for the TazMission and locks it in but Bam Bam backs into a corner, squishing Taz. He tries to whip Taz across the ring through the table but Taz reverses the whip and Bigelow is sent towards the table! Bam puts on the brakes and boots a charging Taz right in the gut. He goes for the Greetings from Asbury Park but Taz slips out and German Tazplexes Bigelow through the table in the corner! (ECW! ECW! ECW!) He pulls Bigelow out of the corner and locks in the TazMission! Bigelow doesn’t tap but gets choked out and referee Keaner calls for the bell. WINNER---Taz in 12:11

 

After the match Shane Douglas and Chris Candido come out and ambush Taz. Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko come out. They look as if they’re going to join in on the beating with former Triple Threat buddy Douglas. But they turn around and level Douglas and Candido! Benoit gets Douglas in the Crippler Crossface, Malenko locks Candido in the Texas Cloverleaf and Taz gets Bigelow in the TazMission as the show goes off the air.

[Guest Angle2004]

This was a pretty good card. I'd give it a 7/10. The only real beefs i had with it was it was pretty much all wrestling matches and no real vignettes or interviews (except the opening of the show.) I liked the swerve at the end with Benoit and Malenko. Your roster seems pretty deep as well. Good job and keep it up.

[Guest hitman1296]

Good card man. I would definately like your help with the booking that I've been doing. E-mail me and we can discuss it.

 

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