A Religious Look At The WWE

[Guest M Nyland]

A Religious Look at the WWE

 

For thousands of years, religion and worship have played a great part in the world. Wars have been fought over property, rules, and lives because of religion. This past-time can seemingly never end. Some people call it blasphemy to consider anything to be an equal with religion. But one thing just might be…

 

And that is professional wrestling.

 

For more than 40 years, people have flocked to warehouses, gyms, stadiums, and other such places to view a spectacle unlike any other. Fans cheer the good and boo the bad (for the most part) and good times are had by all. In some people’s eyes it is poetry in motion, to others it is just a bunch of half-naked men rolling around on the ground. And then…in 1985, a new religion was born. The WWF held Wrestlemania I, and the world began to worship those same half-naked men.

 

Now before this time, people looked up to wrestlers as either heroes or wastes of space. Those who see them as heroes are the followers. Those who seem them as wastes of spaces are the agnostics. The followers worship the gods of the ring, whether they are good or bad…they have their respect. They can do wondrous things that we mere mortals can only dream of accomplishing. Those who see through it, find it to be nothing more than a glorified homoerotic display of crap. The agnostics find the worship of a gold and leather belt to be silly and absurd, while the followers scream for those that have it in their possession (most of the time).

 

Religion is basically the worship of a figure or figures. Wrestling fans worship such names as the Rock, Kurt Angle, Lance Storm, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Rob Van Dam, Triple H, and the Undertaker. Most religions have sacred writings or scripture and certain rules that are followed. While pro wrestling does not really have “sacred writing”, it has rules that are, for the most part, followed very closely. Rules of Kayfabe were dominant until the seminal WWF God, Vince McMahon, came down from the heavens of his office and showed that those that we worship were real men, and thus we worshipped them more. They became demigods to the lowly fans.

 

There are so many unwritten rules in wrestling that books could be filled should anyone feel the need to figure them all out. Rules about selling and mic-work and paying dues, all are hidden deep within the minds of all of those we worship or loathe.

 

Some see Vince McMahon as a god, while others look at him as a Devil in disguise. Sadly, Vince is neither. Vincent K. McMahon is a businessman, and thus the lines between good and evil became blurred and the worshippers were lost in a sea of self-doubt. They saw WCW, and flocked to a more face/heel oriented show, and left Vince ready to be nailed to the cross. But then a Savior was born and with the book of “Austin”, Vince was pulled from the cross and rose from the dead to reclaim his throne and drop WCW straight to Hell. This could have been a sign of evil as the worshippers who followed their religion saw it turn into a shadow of it’s former self.

 

As the downward spiral continues and the followers have let their praises fall back into nothingness, a few key people stay back to see if the former glory can return. Every religion has a setback that causes people to run away from it or be frightened by it. Normally this would kill off that religion and leave it as a footnote in history.

 

However there are no followers quite like the dedicated four million or so that turn on their TVs every Monday for the two hour sermon. And those same people come back for a midweek mass on Thursday so they can get their fix.

 

In some ways, WWE fans are more dedicated than any religious following, but on another…they are looked upon as wrong for what they believe in. They believe in the nWo, chairshots, tables, ladders, gold belts, signs of power, nudity, and blood. Are we sinners or saints? Are we heels or are we faces. If Vince McMahon has taught us anything…it is that good and evil are one, sinners can be saints and saints can be sinners…and that the WWE will never be crucified because of what WE believe in.

 

Thou Shalt Not Change The Channel…or risk having your religion wiped away, only to be remembered as nothing more than glorified homoeroticism and bloodshed.

 

 

 

- M Nyland

[Guest SupaTaft]

Wrestling fans worship such names as the Rock, Kurt Angle, Lance Storm, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Rob Van Dam, Triple H, and the Undertaker.

Nope. Keep Rock, RVD, and UT. Eliminate Angle, Storm, Benoit, Jericho, and HHH. Those called "smarks" are the only ones that worship Angle, Storm, Benoit, Jericho, and to a lesser extent HHH because they are good wrestlers. Keep in mind that these "smarks" are not wrestling fans. They appreciate something more complex and perverse, they anylize the actually wrestling involved and complain about no-sellers to other "smarks" online. They are not the mindless masses who watch wrestling for no other reason than to have fun.

 

Actual wrestling fans worship Hogan (Most of all, the everyman who can reach down inside and find the strength to overcome any obsticle), Andre the Giant (Its fascinating to see a giant, especially one that fights normal men), Mick Foley (He puts himself in so much risk, that we find ourselves sympathizing with him, and understanding where he is coming from), RVD (the guy does cool jumpy-flippy wrestling moves, and seemingly makes them up as he goes along with surplus charisma to boot), The Rock (He can endlessly entertain us with witty dialogue and exciting wrestling), and The Undertaker (The evil man, who just cannot be put down, under any circumstances).

 

These are not opinions, they are facts.

 

Religion has "smarks" too. They aren't believers.

[Guest M Nyland]

Well that got shot down pretty quick...

[Guest SupaTaft]

No no, don't get me wrong. Its a good column/essay but your choices for worship were wrong for the most part. Fix that and you will be fine. I guess I should have said it was a good column in the first post. I liked it, very well put together. Just fix those guys and you'll be fine.

-SupaTaft

[Guest M Nyland]

thanx...

 

when I said that wretling fans worship those names...I am saying that is EVERYONE...all of those people have fans whether they be smarks or marks or whatever

 

we are all fans...we are not above the sheep...

[Guest SupaTaft]

"Smarks" for the most part view themselves to be "smarter than the average mark" therefore they view themselves to be above the sheep, so to speak. If you walk up to your average wrestling fan and ask them to explain the mechanics of a fujiwara armbar, they wouldn't know what to say. If you asked them who the better wrestler was, Lance Storm or Hulk Hogan, they would say Hogan. Ask your average Joe sitting in his Lay-z boy watching raw who Kento Kobashi is and they'd stare at you blankly. To a "smark" average fans don't know any better. In a way they are right, but in more ways than one they are wrong.

 

"Smarks" view wrestling like they have been in the business all their lives. I guarantee you that they are not the sons or daughters of wrestlers. Most of them only know wrestling from what they see on TV and at several live events. They honestly know jack shit about the business. They might know how to reverse a hammerlock six ways from Sunday, but they don't know the hardships of missing your family for most of the year, or the fun things that happen on the road. They only know the scientific aspects of wrestling, not the psychological toll it takes.

 

"Smarks" cannot have fun watching and critiquing the wrestling every Monday and Thursday. All they do is watch it, try to tell the wrestlers how to do their jobs, and whine when somebody messes up a move to other people like them online. They pollute the general populous by making other people "smarks". Sooner or later everyone is yelling at Big Show for not moving fast enough, or yelling at the man who made wrestling, Hulk Hogan, for no-selling a punch. "Smarks" make me sick.

 

"Smarks" are not fans. They are not followers. They are the people who are worse than agnostics. They will read scripture (watch TV) and tell you why such and such could not have happened. They have no hope, and refuse to learn. They are a waste of oxygen.

 

-SupaTaft

[Guest M Nyland]

I guess I'm not "smarky" enough....I can't explain wrestling holds or even how to break most holds...but I can watch and be entertained and cheer who I want and boo who I want...

 

so I'm just a sheep like the rest...and that doesn't mean my opinions aren't valid...

[Guest RetroRob215]

Ok. Without over analyzing anything, I found the column very interesting because I never thought of wrestling in that light. As an atheist, it made me think about how wrestling in a way replaces the void a religon would have left in my life. In the end, the column put an interesting spin on the business.

 

As for Supataft, I completely disagree with you on your little rant on "Smarks". I don't feel like arguing with you now, so that's that.

[Guest SupaTaft]

But if you are anylizing the worship of the populous, then you should at least have the views of the majority. The concensous view is the best representation of the world as a whole.

 

But hey, its not my essay and I dont like starting shit so...

As long as nobody thats not a "smark" reads the essay then you're fine.

[Guest M Nyland]

i was just calling 'em as I see em...but I have a warped perspective

[Guest Michael Joel Benoit]

Smarks also are cynical like non believers in a faith are.