SJL Wrathapalooza 2002! (7/16/02)

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

Here it is, folks...pay attention!

 

Event: SJL WRATHAPALOOZA 2002!

Due Date: Tuesday, July 16, 2002, at 3 pm Eastern.

Location: Ash Ketchum's backyard, Tampa, Florida!

 

What?

 

Yeah, you heard right. Since the Ice Palace broke their deal with us we had to improvise something at the last minute. Fortunately Ash Ketchum (the WF superstar that he is) has an extensive mansion in Tampa and has offered to let us use his massive backyard to host Wrath this week. Now here are the details. There's no ramp, no stage, and no backstage, since we're trying to cram ten thousand people into Ash's backyard. However, we have built a regulation ring, and we have roped off a portion of the yard so that competitors will have a little room to move about should the action spill out of the ring.

 

Oh, and send anything of importance to the winner of the Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots Challenge... HvilleThugg! Thugg will be posting Wrathapalooza! and booking Crimson.

 

Singles Match - send to Ash Ketchum

Cutthroat vs. Kamikaze

Description: A new wrestler makes his debut in the SJL in the form of the deranged, unstable Kamikaze. He'll be in Ash's backyard tonight against a returning Cutthroat. Ash will be marking this match, the only payment he's requesting for the use of his backyard (and in retrospect, I think we got off light).

Word Limit: 3000

 

Hide and Seek Match - SJL Television Championship - send to HvilleThugg

Thor © vs. "The Rising Sun" Y2K

Description: It's a little known fact that Ash Ketchum was the last man to hold the IGNML Television Championship before the ML and JL merged. That means that IGNML TV belt is somewhere in Ash's house! Thor won the TV title on Metal and will defend it here. Here are the rules. Thor, Y2K, and a referee (and NO ONE ELSE) will be allowed inside Ash's mansion, where the ML Television belt is hidden somewhere inside. This match is no disqualifications, as the only way to win the match is to find that hidden TV belt, and exit the house with the belt in your hand. The winner will be the SJL Television Champion. (And he'll have to return the ML belt to Ash afterward -- sorry, guys.)

Word Limit: 5000

 

Singles Match - send to Edwin MacPhisto

"Insane Luchadore" Andrew Rickmen vs. Fugue

Description: Insane Luchador shocked the SJL on Metal with his return and subsequent victory of the hardcore legend (and two-time IGNJL commissioner) Grimedogg. The True Plague wants his shot at the World title, but to prove his worth, tonight he goes up against Fugue, who made it to the semifinals of the title tournament. Oh yeah, and it'll all be in Ash's backyard.

Word Limit: 4000

 

INTERMISSION - send to HvilleThugg

Commentator Pie Eating Contest

Axis vs. Edwin MacPhisto vs. Suicide King

Special Guest Judge: Sydney Sky

Description: First robots, and now this? A makeshift commentary table is set up next to the ring, and during this break in the actual wrestling, your three faithful SJL commentators will put their reputations on the line as they participate in the SJL's first ever Pie Eating Contest. Nothing at stake here, just good clean fun. You don't have to write if you don't want to, but hopefully at least one person will get a match in. Sydney Sky also has the option to write a match if she can find the time.

Word Limit: 1000

 

Singles (non-title) Match - send to Thoth

"The Franchise" Mak Francis vs. T-Bone

Description: "Franchise" suffered a major setback to his career on Storm, losing both his TV and European titles in the space of one match. Tonight, in Ash's backyard, he'll get revenge on the bastard that took his European title.

Word Limit: 4000

 

MAIN EVENT - send to Suicide King

SJL World Championship Match (Tournament Final)

Hell in a Swimming Pool Match

C.I.A. vs. Renegade

Description: The tournament has culminated in this match, and after Tuesday, we'll have our first JL World champion since Danny Williams vacated the title. Ash Ketchum was kind enough to spend the day draining his Olympic-size in-ground swimming pool for this event, so the two finalists will be wrestling inside the empty pool, which should make for a brutal contest. You can leave the pool if you want, but keep in mind that pinfalls or submissions must be scored inside the pool.

Word Limit: 6000

 

That's it! Have at it!

[Guest Tod deKindes]

That's, um ... an odd card.

[Guest HVilleThugg]

wonderful!! just wonderful!!

 

hilarious!!

 

da 'still not using his shift key' h

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Pete!

 

That's AWESOME! Seriously, I love it.

 

And for all the humor of being in Ash's backyard, the drained-pool match has the potential to be ridiculously sick. Remember guys: it's CONCRETE WALLS. CONCRETE FLOOR. This is going to be great...

 

I really think I'm going to make "Tonight, in Ash's backyard..." a catchphrase of mine.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Best...Card...EVER

 

The Pie Eating Contest is the match of the night no doubt.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

wonderful!!  just wonderful!!

 

hilarious!!

 

da 'still not using his shift key' h

Then how, may I ask, did you manage to put so many damn exclamation marks in that post?

[Guest Drew_K]

Hmm. Ash marking the first match, the SWF reduced to a backyard fed, a god and a disrespected bastard playing extreme hide and seek, a Luchadore and a psychotic musician battling for supremacy, three respected professionals who do commentary in a pie-eating contest, Mak Francis in a fight where he's NOT the one with a belt, and a wacky canadian secret agent fighting a respected veteran wrestler in a swimming pool in the main event.

 

 

Pete, as that run-on sentence shows, you've outdone yourself. I'll leave it up to the individual to decide whether they think that's good or bad.

[Guest Suicide King]

Wha-?

[Guest midnight_burn]

Well that's certainly a unique card, some very interesting matches will no doubt make for a fun read.

[Guest kelloggs]

No special stips. I really wanted a stip.

 

:::cries at lack of a stip:::

 

Great card LDP especially with the lack of writers and on to the comments thread but first, if Mr. B Applewhite is okay with my statement...it'll be official...

 

But Thor love-love-looooooooooooooooooooves the cock...to the max

 

M. "wants to be hardcore at Ash's mansion" Francis

[Guest crusen86]

What the fuck...

[Guest Listen2Reason]

That card absolutely rocks. It completely made my week.

 

Y'know, we should have an announcer-joke-battle-match every show. I like 'em. Though I suppose it may wear thin soon...

[Guest Muzz]

... What sort of Main Event is that? I'm not talking about who's in it, but... what sort of main event is that?

[Guest -Cutthroat-]

Are you sure that Ash didn't post this card?

[Guest SupaTaft]

Ok, I definetly have the edge in my match up. I'm Ash's good friend and I've actually been to his house. I know its secrets... be afraid... be VERY afraid...

 

This will be the best match... EVER!!!

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

... What sort of Main Event is that? I'm not talking about who's in it, but... what sort of main event is that?

The perfect one, Muzz. HARDCORE CONCRETE BUMPS!!

[Guest ErekT2k]

You have got to be kiddin me.....

 

EDIT: Now that I've read the card the third time.... Hell in a Swimming Pool?!

[Guest HVilleThugg]

yo...mak...spike...lay off thor will ya.

 

da 'play nice' h

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

Hey look, I caused a controversy! OK, some comments.

 

#1. Yeah, this is a wild and wacky card. But with all the no-showers of the past couple weeks, we needed one. Perhaps with this unusual setting you can have a little more fun writing this week. That is why we're here, after all. Don't worry, next time I book we'll go back to a more traditional format. (That is, if Crusen ever lets me book again after this! )

 

#2. The question came up about how people can write their entrances. Well, there's no stage and no Smarktron, and also no pyro (unless it's in-ring pyro). However, you'll still get entrance music since Ash has a pretty kickass speaker system. Oh, and you'll be coming in through the crowd.

 

#3. Thor - Keep in mind this isn't Ash the player's house in Detroit. This is Ash the wrestler's mansion in Tampa. Slight difference.

 

#4. Edwin is dead on accurate about the main event. Sure this is a wacky show, but there's still a World title at stake, and I'd expect the main event to be anything but humorous.

 

#5. I never chose an SJLer of the Week last Sunday. Sue me.

[Guest Renegade]

Quick two Q's on the layout of the arena here:

 

-If there isnt a ramp, where do Wrestlers come from, the crowd?

 

-The commentators still have tables dont they?

[Guest HVilleThugg]

If there isnt a ramp, where do Wrestlers come from, the crowd?

 

Answer in above post by LDP.

 

The commentators still have tables dont they?

 

Answer on the card.

 

Da "so helpful" H

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

Yeah, but just in case you're lazy... yes, the wrestlers come out from the crowd, and yes, the commentators still have a table.

[Guest BigTim2002]

That's why Pete is here...to make sure there ARE obscure references and such...and to make people look like a moron.

[Guest ErekT2k]

That's why Pete is here...to make sure there ARE obscure references and such...and to make people look like a moron.

 

Hey, he successfully made me look like a moron. And he'll do it to you too! Beware of Pete, JLers!! BEWARE!!!

[Guest -Cutthroat-]

I'm ALREADY a moron! HA HA!!

[Guest Tod deKindes]

I'm ALREADY a moron! HA HA!!

Congratulations, clod. The first step is admitting that you have a problem.

[Guest ErekT2k]

I'm ALREADY a moron! HA HA!!

 

No.... moron is a word that means a foolish person. You are a Cutthroat, equivalent to the combination of a jackass and a moron.... amplified 100 times.

[Guest Tod deKindes]

I'm ALREADY a moron! HA HA!!

 

No.... moron is a word that means a foolish person. You are a Cutthroat, equivalent to the combination of a jackass and a moron.... amplified 100 times.

...Jack-a-ron?

[Guest KingOfOldSchool]

I'm ALREADY a moron! HA HA!!

Now that I agree with.

[Guest Suicide King]

Holy crap. I have to write a pie-eating contest?