Fake WWE continues

[Guest LesnarLunatic]

copied and pasted from the guy who actually did the work. Enjoy

 

"Raw is War opened up as a black limo pulled up outside and out stepped the New World Order. As the nWo headed into the First Union Center, Kevin Nash talked to the nWo about how it was time for the nWo to move onto bigger and better things and take out Booker and Goldust once and for all. Nash then tripped on a curb and fell onto the pavement and the nWo ran over to check on him, but Nash said he was OK and didn't hurt himself.

 

Also arriving at the arena was an all-too-pleased with himself Chris Jericho,

who forced security to allow him access to the arena by shoving the Golden Ticket he had stolen from HHH on SmackDown in their faces. Jericho reminded the security guards that only Raw wrestlers, the World Champ or the holder of the Golden Ticket were allowed in the arena. And he also reminded them that the Internet still sucks ass.

 

In the ring, the Undisputed World Champion Undertaker stood with a microphone and badmouthed the superstars of the WWE, telling them that he had Hoss business and was willing to let someone earn his respect by doing him a favor, but no one was tough enough. A returning Mike Awesome was greeted by a "You Sold Out!" chant (those Philly fans don't forget!) and said he could kick the Undertaker's ass. UT said it wasn't his ass that needed kicking and demanded Awesome face him right now and show he was Hoss enough to get things done.

 

UT and Awesome had an impromptu world title match that UT dominated. During the match, JR said he'd just gotten word in the back that Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar had arrived in the building. At that very moment, the Undertaker suddenly froze up in the ring and almost lost the match to Awesome, but he quickly snapped out of it and finished off Awesome, then hurried out through the crowd while yelling for a cell phone, screaming that he needed to call someone.

 

Outside, an irate HHH arrived and tried to enter the arena, but security told

him that he didn't have proper permission to enter the building tonight. HHH offered to show them his permission, then gave the head of security a Pedigree while another guard called for backup.

 

In the back, Kevin Nash met up with Matt Hardy and explained why he'd been helping Matt out in the past few weeks. Nash told Hardy that he knew he was starting to get a little old and that his bicep injury sent a message that he was getting a little fragile and wouldn't be able to hang around in the WWE forever. Nash said that he couldn't bear to know that, if he suddenly and unexpectedly went down with an injury, there would be no one left to carry on his legacy of great hair. Nash explained to Matt that, even though Matt wasn't properly taking care of it, Nash could sense in him the potential for a truly wonderful head of hair and that Nash was exactly the guy who could teach him the ropes of proper hair care. Nash pointed out that Matt's brother Jeff was a complete lost cause, but Matt said that Jeff could still be seperated from Raven. Nash said he wasn't talking about Raven, he was talking about how Jeff had completely destroyed his own head of hair and that Nash didn't want to see Matt go down the same path. Nash said that Matt had to consider cutting ties with the Team Extreme lifestyle forever and consider joining Nash in the nWo where Nash could make him into his protege. Matt said he would consider and left. Nash looked after him and started to leave, too, but then he tripped on

a camera cable and fell down a flight of stairs. Matt and the camera crew ran back to see if Nash was badly hurt, but Nash got up and said that he managed to roll down the steps and didn't hurt himself.

 

Elsewhere in the arena, Molly Holly received a special delivery, a package from a "Mister Beegazz". Molly opened the package and it was a tape recorder with a tape that just had Jerry Lawler saying "You have a big ass!" over and over. Fit Finlay heard this and told Molly not to worry, that the two of them would beat the shit out of Lawler in their mixed tag match against Lawler and Trish.

 

Meanwhile, back outside, HHH had Pedigreed five more security guards but twenty more ran up to him and tackled him, but HHH did one of those He-Man things where he sent all of them flying.

 

Molly Holly and Fit Finlay took on Jerry Lawler and Trish Stratus in mixed-tag

action. Molly and Trish had quite a few good sequences during the match, but Jerry Lawler got the crowd to chant "She's a fat ass!" every time that happened and needless to say, Fit Finlay was pretty pissed, and he's Irish or Scottish or some shit, so you don't want to do that. The end came when Finlay was whipped into the corner and then Lawler and Trish did the old schoolyard bully bit where Lawler pushed Molly backwards over Trish and Molly hilariously collided ass- first into Finlay's face and Finlay was all "I can't breathe!" and Molly ran out crying and JR laughed and called her a fatass and Finlay stumbled around the ring gasping for air and Lawler rolled him up for the win. Ha ha!

 

In the back, Matt Hardy headed to his locker room to talk to Jeff about what

Kevin Nash haid said about hair and the nWo, but Raven was waiting outside the locker room and told Matt that he wasn't allowed in to see Jeff. Matt got pissed and told Raven to get out of his way, but D-Lo Brown attacked him from behind. Raven and D-Lo beat on Matt until RVD arrived and sent the two running when he pointed menacingly at his shoulders with his thumbs.

 

Back outside, HHH had successfully fought off twenty five security guards when local police arrived and tried to restrain him with tasers and billy clubs, but HHH did that pose thing, said he was The Game-Uh and then started kicking their asses all over the place.

 

JR filled in the audience with info that doctors had said that RVD had finally

recovered sufficiently from the brutal injuries he had sustained at the hands of Brock Lesnar at King of the Ring several weeks ago and could now wrestle a full match as long as he didn't take anymore severe trauma. He and Matt teamed up to take on Raven and D-Lo Brown. Throughout the match, at Raven's urging, D-Lo viciously attacked RVD while Matt continually tried to get his hands on Raven to no avail. As the match drew to a close, Jeff Hardy danced like an idiot down to ringside, pulled a huge ladder out from under the ring, set it up and climbed to the top, where he sat perched while Matt tried to talk him down. RVD fought off Raven and D-Lo and nailed the Five Star Frogsplash, but before he could go for the pin, Jeff leaped from the ladder outside the ring over Matt and into the ring and nailed a dangerous swanton bomb on RVD in the ring for a DQ. After the

ring, Matt asked Jeff what the hell he was doing, but Jeff told Matt it was time they started listening to someone who could help their careers, Raven. An angry Matt stormed out of the ring.

 

In Vince McMahons' office, Tough Enough 2 winner Jackie suggestively ate a banana as Vince sat at his desk and gave his comical gulp. Then he said "That reminds me of the oral sex you permormed on me in the past and will perform on me again in a few minutes!" Kevin Nash barged into the room and demanded a word with Vince, but Vince said he was too busy worrying about the letter he'd just gotten saying that Kelsey Grammer was going to be at SmackDown with his lawyers. Nash just asked Vince to make the main event a tag match, nWo vs. Booker and Goldust. Vince agreed and Nash turned to leave, but he slipped on the peel of the banana that Jackie had been eating and almost died. But he was OK.

 

Buh Buh Ray Dudley and Tommy Dreamer teamed up to take on William Regal and that no-good Harvard graduate Chris Nowinski. As you can imagine, there was some awesome puke humor and the puke played into the finish when Nowinski lost his grip on the hurl-covered Buh Buh Ray Dudley while trying a sunset flip and got pinned. PSYCHOLOGY~!

 

In the back, Paul Heyman talked a lot. After talking about himself, then ECW, then himself, then himself AND ECW, he finally got around to mentioning that ever since Brock Lesnar had won the Hardcore title by absolutely destroying Bradshaw two weeks ago, everyone was too afraid of the Next Big Thing to use the 24-7 rule. Heyman called out anyone tough enough or stupid enough to compete in a hardcore brawl to determine a contender for the Hardcore title for next week and promised Brock wouldn't get involved. Planet Stasiak came out and said that he was stupid enough to enter into the match. Kevin Nash wandered by at that moment and said that Brock Lesnar might be the Next Big Thing, but he'd

never be as big as the nWo and said that he'd send the Big Show out to be in the match. Nash then brushed back his hair and walked off, but slipped in a trail of vomit that Dreamer and Dudley had brought back with them and damn near broke his leg, but he was OK.

 

Elsewhere, the Undertaker sat in an empty arena office and hung up a cell phone, then said to no one in particular that he had someone who was going to not only enter the hardcore contender match, but win in and then kick Lesnar's ass so the Rock wouldn't have to be un-suspended for the PPV. Then he noticed the cameraman and ran out of the office.

 

Chris Jericho wandered the halls backstage whistling Fozzy's new hit single

"Screw You, Internet Jackoff!". As he turned a corner, he bumped into none other than former hardcore champion Bradshaw! JR informed the audience that Bradshaw had finally been released from the hospital but was still suffering from major injuries. Bradshaw backed away from Jericho after Jericho bumped into him and started to apologize, but Jericho said that wasn't good enough and started pushing the contrite Texan around.

 

Outside, HHH continued to fight off the local police despite their use of tasers and mace and knightsticks and approached the entrance to the arena.

 

Back inside, Jericho bullied Bradshaw down to the ring and forced him into a match, then beat the crap out of him and made him submit to the Walls of

Jericho. As Jericho taunted Bradshaw in the ring, the Titantron showed HHH entering the arena and yelling "JERICHOOOOOO-UH!" so loud that they could actually hear him without the aid of any audio equipment. Jericho took off in a panic.

 

Backstage, HHH started to walk through the halls, but a fully armed SWAT team arrived with full riot gear and automatic weapons and demanded HHH leave. HHH contemplated giving them Pedigrees and stared down the highly-trained assault team for a good ten minutes and a few of them probably pissed their pants, but then HHH agreed to leave the building.

 

In another part of the arena, Arn Anderson was apologizing to Ric Flair for his poor decision in attacking Buh Buh Ray Dudley last week. Arn admitted that he was just trying to make the right choice for the Horsemen legacy, but agreed that if Flair though Benoit and Guerrero weren't good enough anymore, that he'd stand by Flair just like always and the two of them could team up one more time to teach Benoit and Guerrero what it REALLY meant to be a Horsemen. Flair and Arn shook hands and then made the Horsemen symbol to each other.

 

In the nWo locker room, Kevin Nash arrived and said that, since Big Show was going to compete in the Hardcore Contender match, it would have to be Nash and X-Pac vs. Booker and Goldust tonight. As Nash went to leave to get his gear, he walked right into a coffee table and smashed his leg right into it and screamed "OH GOD, IT'S BROKEN!". X-Pac, Show and HBK ran over and HBK said "You broke your leg, Kev?!" and Nash laughed and said "No, the coffee table broke," and all four nWo members had a huge laugh because Nash hadn't been injured at all, is the thing.

 

Benoit and Eddie took on Arn Anderson and Ric Flair to settle Horsemen business and put on a solid match that had a stunning ending when Arn Anderson turned on his best damn friend in the whole damn world and helped Benoit and Guerrero beat Flair. Arn then mocked Flair's strut as the crowd stared on in shock. The Enforcer cut a killer promo on the fallen Flair, telling him that time had passed him by and that the legacy of the Four Horsemen was bigger than the Enforcer and bigger than even the Natureboy. Arn talked about how Flair had gone soft over the past few years and kept letting in people like Mongo McMichael and Curt Hennig and was now willing to walk to the ring with Buh Buh Ray Dudley. He said that Dudley didn't deserve to be mentioned with Horsemen greats like Tully

Blanchard or Paul Roma. He then told Flair that all this time, while Flair let

himself be made a fool of by Eric Bischoff or Vince Russo or Vince McMahon or even - yeah, he said it - Stone Cold Steve Austin, Flair was letting the legacy of the Four Horsemen go to waste even though two clear standard bearers were right in front of his nose. Flair talked up the deadly Crippler, the Rabid Wolverine Chris Benoit (and in the process got the crowd to give more of a crap about Benoit than they had in years) and how Eddie Guerrero's cheat to win attitude was right in line for the elite unit of the dirtiest player in the game and how Eddie's blood and family was the embodiment of professional wrestling. All three men then did the Horsemen symbol one more time and left Flair in the ring bleeding.

 

In the back, that wacky Goldust was dressed up as one of the Men In Black and walked up on X-Pac and did a funny skit where he kept talking about aliens and stuff. Then Goldust took out a laser pointer and said it was a neurilizer and he'd have to wipe X-Pac's mind and shined the laser pointer in X-Pac's face, but X-Pac screamed "MY RETINA!" and covered his eyes in agony.

 

In the ring area, the Big Show, Planet Stasiak and the reckless Jeff Hardy

started up the #1 contender hardcore brawl, but the match really picked up when the arena lighting turned red, some crazy-ass organ music played and with a huge burst of pyro, out came...KANE! In the match, Stasiak bumped around like a big retard and Jeff Hardy took crazy-ass bumps, but Kane cleaned house and finally knocked out the Big Show with a huge Tombstone to become the #1 contender for the hardcore title. As Kane stood in the ring, the Undertaker came out onto the stage and did the black power salute and, after a few seconds, Kane raised his fist back to the Undertaker and UT smiled and pumped his fist, feeling pretty good about himself.

 

In the back, Kevin Nash came back to the nWo locker room where medics told him that Goldust's hilarious Men In Black bit had taken a turn for the tragic and the laser pointer he was using accidentally scarred X-Pac's retinas, temporarily blinding him. Nash ran his fingers through his hair to indicate that he was upset that he no longer had a tag partner for the main event, then he stomped off to go find someone, but fell right through some rotted floorboards to the level below! The medics ran to the hole in the floor to see if Nash was OK, but Nash climbed back up through the hole and was fine.

 

In the ring, Booker T and Goldust came out and waited to see what Nash was going to do about not having a partner. The nWo music played and Nash came out but demanded they stop the music. Then he told them to play up the "other song" and Shawn Michaels' old music played and out came HBK! Nash said that Booker and Goldust just got themselves a match against two dudes with attitudes. Then Nash coughed, but I think he was actually saying "Scott Hall" and just pretended he was coughing.

 

HBK's return to the ring was exciting and triumphant as he worked the entire match for his side, taking on both Booker and Goldust while Nash occassionally punched or choked one when they got to his corner. At the end of the match, HBK and Booker were both down and going for the hot tags. Booker made it to his corner first and made the hot tag, but HBK made it to his corner right after and tagged Nash...but the hot tag broke Nash's hand and Nash screamed in agony. The match quickly broke down and HBK had to tag himself back in while medical teams ran out with a stretcher for the injured Nash and Booker and Goldust managed to get the pin on HBK while Nash was taken out, clutching his hand in agony.

 

As the show was about to end, the cameras found HHH outside, waiting angrily for Chris Jericho to leave the arena. At that instant, a Jericho smashed a car through a garage door and tried to drive away from the arena, but HHH dove and landed on the trunk and smashed out the back window while Jericho floored it. HHH reached through the back window as Jericho screamed and drove erratically, but the car hit a big bump and HHH finally slid off the back of the car and rolled along the ground for about twenty feet. HHH then stood up and watched Y2J speed off into the night before bellowing "JERICHOOOOOO!" while the credits came up."

 

Source

[Guest LesnarLunatic]

here be some more of his stuff

 

Match observations:

 

SmackDown opened with a great camera angle of a totally full are-

 

"IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!"

 

Screw that shit, HHH is out! HHH came out to the ring and threw Lilian Garcia

out and took the mic and then posed for a solid five minutes and spit water out

of his mouth for about another minute and then finally started talking about how

that bastard Chris Jericho had stolen his Golden Ticket and prevented The Game

from appearing on Raw. Footage played of HHH beating up the entire security

force outside on Raw, then staring down and sparing the lives of a fully armed

SWAT team. HHH demanded Jericho come out and bring him his Golden Ticket and get

Pedigreed, and then said he would take the show hostage until Jericho came out.

 

Rookie sensations John Cena and Randy Orton came to the ring, eager to have

their scheduled match against each other and show their stuff to make names for

themselves as today's future stars of the WWE. They explained to HHH that they

were supposed to have a match and HHH said go ahead, but he refused to leave the

ring. The two warily tried to have a match, but instead, HHH hit them both with

Pedigrees and the match was declared no contest. HHH then got on the mic again

and demanded Jericho show himself.

 

In the back, a troubled Deacon Bautista revealed to Reverend D-Von that he had

been troubled with dreams of the suffering of humanity and had begun to doubt

that god existed, for what kind of god would allow his people to suffer so.

D-Von was shaken by Bautista's sudden crisis of faith and said that he could not

allow Bautista to wander from the path and forsake the lord. D-Von said that

there was only one way he could prove that god did indeed exist, and that would

be to fight Bautista one-on-one and if god existed, surely he would give D-Von

the power to beat the massive Baustista, but if there was no god, than without

question would Bautista destroy Reverend D-Von. Bautista agreed and the two

went to the ring to have a match that would determine once and for all the

truth behind the nature of god's existence.

 

In the ring, HHH continued to spit water and demand Jericho come to the ring

with the Golden Ticket. Instead, D-Von and Baustista came out to have their

match to prove whether or not there is a god. Instead, the match was declared a

no contest and the nature of god's being was left in doubt when HHH hit both

men with Pedigrees and threw them out of the ring.

 

Finally, WWE security had enough and came out to the ring area to escort HHH

away, but instead, he did the HHH pose and they all were so frightened that they

took off and ran out of the arena and left HHH in the ring.

 

Next up, Tajiri, a returning TAKA Michinoku and a debuting Shannon Moore came

out to take on Billy Kidman, The Hurricane and Sho Funaki in what promised to

be exciting, lucha-rules, fast-pased six-man tag action. Then they all took

Pedigrees while HHH kept yelling for Jericho to come out and the match was

declared a No Decision.

 

Back in their locker room, Billy and Chuck argued about which one of them was

responsible for the team losing their tag titles against Al Snow and Maven

last week. Before things could turn into a slap fight, an angry Rico came into

the room and said that both of them sucked and they were both to blame. Then

he tore off his fake giant sideburns and said "For chrissake, I was a winner

on the goddamned American Gladiators and now I'm supposed to be a gay stylist

for you two? I kicked Nitro's ass and knocked Gemini over in Human fucking

Cannonball! Screw this!" Then he told the two of them to settle things like

men and face each other in the ring.

 

Billy and Chuck went to the ring to settle things like men as Rico suggested.

Pedigree. Dropkick attempt. No sale. Pedigree. No Contest. "JERICHOOOO!" You

get the idea.

 

Finally, thankfully, at last, Chris Jericho appeared on the SmackDown screens

and laughed at HHH. He pointed out to HHH that the Golden Ticket gave him the

choice to appear on both the Raw and SmackDown brands, but it didn't mean he

HAD to appear on both. Jericho revealed that, since HHH wasn't allowed to be on

Raw, Jericho would just stay on Raw forever and that way, he'd never have to

deal with HHH again. Jericho said that he was in the city, but there was no way

he'd come to the arena. He then laughed at HHH again and told the camera to cut

the feed. Then it came back on and Jericho said that the Internet still sucks.

Then he cut the feed again. HHH was infuriated and Pedgireed a few ringside

officials before leaving the arena to look for Jericho.

 

Molly Holly took on Ivory to make up for the match Ivory missed last week when

Jerry Lawler locked her in a room so she couldn't face and possibly beat Molly.

Molly had the match in hand when Jerry Lawler ran out through the crowd and

threw a giant novelty ass paddle like they have in really stupid college movies

and instructed Ivory to hit Molly in the ass with it, because she has a big ass.

This ended up in a DQ, of course. Lawler got in the ring and took the paddle

back and danced around, ready to use the paddle on Molly, but Rikishi ran down

to the ring and chased Lawler off, then helped Molly up.

 

In the back, noted self-loathing Canadian Lance Storm was telling disinterested

and downright angry WWE superstars about how Canada sucks and everything and

everyone who comes from Canada is inferior to their American counterparts. While

the WWE superstars fumed at Storm's comments about their neighbour to the north,

Storm proceeded to talk about how stupid a sport hockey was, with all those ties

and how losing a game and losing it in overtime gives you different points or

some shit, and how no self-respecting country would ever look at hockey as

anything above the 4th most popular sport. Storm suggested that the only reason

Canadians can even make it through hockey is because they drink a lot of beer.

Storm said that Canada was a nation of zero-personality borderline alcholics and

that any country that prides itself on needing to put more alcohol in its beer

so the residents could drink away the reality of their pathetic lives is pretty

sad. At this point, while Storm ran down Canadian beer, Faarooq happened by

and said "Damn!", so they would have a match later.

 

Back in the ring, #1 cruiserweight contender Rey Misterio Jr. took on the

underrated Chavo Guerrero Jr. in a cruiser exhibition match. Misterio broke

out just about all of his old incredible moves and a few new ones and the crowd

was literally moved to have been allowed to witness such an amazing match and

performance by Misterio and it got six stars. Elsewhere, that redneck cruiser

champ Jamie Noble, boy, listened to the match on the radio. Because he's too

poor or redneck-y to have a TV, I guess.

 

A depressed Vince McMahon was met in his office by the Undisputed World Champion

Undertaker. Vince explained that he'd just gotten word from his lawyers that

Kelsey Grammer was filiing for a $400 million suit against WWE Entertainment

Inc, over his vomit-damaged suit and emotional distress which resulted. Vince

noted that he was too depressed to even have his daily naked hot tub orgy with

Stacy and Dawn Marie. UT told McMahon that he had some news that might cheer him

up in the short run - that now that Kane had returned, after this coming Monday

when Kane took on Brock Lesnar for the hardcore title, Vince wouldn't even need

to unsuspend the Rock.

 

Lance Storm took on Faarooq and, despite his continued Canadian-ness, actually

won the match when fellow Canadian Christian wandered near ringside and

distracted Faarooq. But was it intentional? Is he in cahoots with Storm?

 

Yes. And yes.

 

In the back, a nervous Tazz waited for Hulk Hogan to arrive so Tazz could try

to convince Hogan one last time not to put an end to Hulkamania. While he

waited, the Undertaker happened by and called Tazz an orange midget with a

stupid haircut. He then told Tazz that Dead Man Inc. had buried Hulkamania over

a decade ago, and all that's been left of Hogan since then is a rotten corpse.

Tazz flew off the handle at that and attacked the Undertaker, who backed off and

told Tazz to save it for the ring...where they'd be meeting tonight for the

Undisputed Title!

 

Albert and Christian had nothing to do, so they teamed up to take on Maven and

Al Snow for the WWE tag titles. Christian was pinned.

 

Backstage, Lance Storm waited to congratulate Snow and Maven on an impressive

title defense. He explained that Christian lost because Christian is Canadian

and therefore a complete waste of a human being. By this time, Christian had

made his way to the back (Albert left through the crowd or was beamed up by a

spaceship or something, who cares) and heard Storm making fun of him for his

national heritage. Christian got in Storm's face and then...shook Storm's hand

and said that Storm was right, that he DID lose because he's Canadian and thus

is a big loser and can't compete with real, American WWE stars. Storm turned

his attention back to the tag champs and noted that Maven was a former teacher

before winning Tough Enough. Storm asked Maven if he could tutor Storm for his

upcoming citizenship test so that he could stop being a good-for-nothing

Canadian and become a citizen of the greatest nation on Earth, the United States

of America. Maven said that it just so happens that he can actually GIVE the

citizenship test (what a coincidence!), but he also said that Storm doesn't

deserve to take it because he'd never be a true American if he didn't love his

fellow North Americans, the wonderful Canadians. Storm and Christian responded

by angrily punking out Snow and Maven.

 

Hulk Hogan finally arrived in the arena, wearing his street clothes, and tracked

down Tazz in the back. Hogan told Tazz that he'd made up his mind, that from

this day forward, Hulkamania was dea---before he could finish, Tazz cut him off

and told Hogan about what had happened with the Undertaker earlier and that he

was getting ready to face him for the World Title in the main event. Hogan's

face went white-orange at this and Hogan begged Tazz to drop out of the match.

Hogan recounted when the Undertaker destroyed him and sent Hulkamania to an

early grave over a decade ago. He admitted that there was no way that he could

beat UT today and again begged Tazz not to take the match, to just walk away.

Tazz refused and said that he was going to take the match because he had

something that Hogan didn't have anymore, but it was something that, starting

tonight, Hogan was going to get back. And that something, according to Tazz, is

THE EYE OF THE TIGER! With that, Tazz brought out the man he'd called up, fellow

mohawk enthusiast and Hogan fan...MR. T!

 

Hogan was stunned when Mr. T walked into the room, and T told Hogan that he

pitied the shell of a man that Hogan had become, and that Hogan needed to find

the Eye of the Tiger and get back to spreading the power of Hulkamania. Tazz

left the two old friends alone and left to prepare for his match.

 

Elsewhere in Atlantic City, camera crews caught up to HHH, who had tracked Chris

Jericho down to the Taj Mahal on the Atlantic City Boardwalk.

 

Back at the arena, Tazz took on The Undertaker in a match for the Undisputed

World Title. Still buzzing after the return of Kane on Raw, the Undertaker

dominated most of the match until the end, when Tazz rallied for a comeback

and put UT in the Tazzmission. At that point, that no-good Kurt Angle came out

of the crowd and pulled Tazz off while the ref was distracted and allowed UT

to nail the Tombstone for the win. The Undertaker left, but Angle stayed in the

ring and continued to beat on Tazz until Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger" played,

sending the crowd into a frenzy as Mr. T and Hulk Hogan came out from the back.

Angle stopped attacking Tazz and took a mic and asked the sound crew to play HIS

theme, "Real American", but they refused. An angry Angle then said that he had

no idea who the guy wtih Hogan was, so the crowd started a "Mr. T! Mr. T!"

chant. Angle said he'd never heard of Mr. T, rightly angering the crowd, and

went on to say that when he watched TV in the 80s, he watched for real tough

guys like The Kid on "The Fall Guy" and real American heroes like Roscoe P.

Coltrane and his faithful dog Flash from "The Dukes of Hazzard". Angle said he

didn't know what this eye of the tiger crap was, but he'd be happy to kick

Hogan's BUTT on SmackDown next week if he wanted. Mr. T grabbed a mic and said

that the Hulkster would be busy next week, training, saying his prayers, taking

his vitamins and drinking his milk so he could throw Angle at the PPV. But T

pointed out that he could take a few minutes to come pity angle in the ring

next week. Angle agreed, and thus a match was signed for the next SmackDown:

Kurt Angle vs. Mr. T!

 

As the credits came up, we went back to HHH at the Taj Mahal as he raced up a

flight of steps to a helipad on the roof. As he came through the door, he was

just in time to see Chris Jericho leaning out of a helicopter as it took off.

Jericho waved the Golden Ticket at HHH as he flew away and HHH looked up at

the helicopter intensely before yelling "JERICHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" to end

the show.

[Guest kane3212321]

That last paragraph of smackdown is classic. If they did that WWE would be total non-miss TV.

[Guest deadbeater]

Unless Molly murders Lawler at the end of this, I'll be happy. Until then, no.

[Guest Your Olympic Hero]

The sad thing about Mr. T....

 

Can't you HONESTLY see him turning up again with Hogan in the WWE?

 

Celebrities that were in the main event of Wrestlemania in 1985 = RATINGS!

[Guest Mattdotcom]

That's one of the funniest things I've read in a lonnnnnnnnnnnng time. It made me second-guess doing my own funnily-booked SmackDown (with Dusty as GM).