NO WAY OUT 2002:D. Scorpions Next Rant

[Guest nWoScorpion]

Welcome everyone to  everyones least favorite PPV of the month, No Way Out. Reason...........Its the lead up PPV to Wrestlemania, so nothing much of notibility will come from this.

 

HEAT MATCH:

Diamond Dallas Page © def. Big Boss Man for European Title by Disqualification. Since when did he just become Boss Man?

 

On to the PPV......

 

Presented to you live by Shopzone.com (sheesh), its WWF No way Out!

 

Hosts: Good Ol' J.R. & Jerry Lawler

 

-Before anything happens, the screen starts to staic up and turns to black and white as the nWo theme plays. It takea about a minute for them to make it out to to the entrance way. Wow, first PPV withOUT a Raw like area. For some reason, the crowd pops for them coming out, but when Kevin Nash starts talking, its all about What?!. Btw, am i not alone in thinking Hall looks like a dork chop with that goofy hair style? Anyway, Nash rants about how the guys in the back arent in favor of them being here, and all the nWo wants is a chance. Hall gets a big pop for Hey yo. All they are are marks. They are Fans. They want Autographs, maybe some pictures, and maybe later on drink some beer...Nash  & hogan talk him out of it. Hogan gets the mic and we get a nice chant of Hogan! Hogan! Hogan! The nwo isnt here to kill the WWF, the are here to make it a better place! They just want a chance. God Bless Vince Mcmahon. God Bless you fans. And God Bless America! Jim Ross doesnt buy the shit they give us, but Lawlers just about in tears.

 

Opening Match: Tag Team Turmoil for Tag Title Match at Wrestlemania X-8.

Scotty 2 Hotty & "Hip-Hop Hippo" Albert vs. Christian & "Mr. Personality" Lance Storm.

Good thing i didnt catch most of this fall. I come in with Albert press slamming Storm followed by the big swing. Both Christian & Storm double team Albert with some cheap punches. Scotty hot tags in and takes both men down with a series of clotheslines. Gos for the worm to no avail and is superkicked by Storm for 2. Albert back in and irish whips both men into the corner, and misses an avalanche. Christian follows up by clotheslining Albert over the top rope, taking Storm along with him. Scotty with a face buster! W...O....R.....M! doesnt work and Christian nails the Im(un?)-Prettier for thr 3. Who came up with THAT name?

NEXT: Hardy Boyz Vs. Christian & Lance storm.

Hugh pop for the Brother sHardly ever acomplish shit anymore in thier return from "storyline reason" being off TV for about 7 weeks. Double face slam on Christian and a body slam by Matt. Lance back in with a few kicks to the head. Storm with a chinbreaker gets 2. Slingshot onto the top rope by Matt, followed by the hot-tag to Jeff who clotheslines both men down. Crothc drop leg drop on Storm, elbow to Christian, and a russian leg sweep on Storm. A VERY UNIQUE pin attempt by Jeff gets 2. Jeff walks into a half-crap which is broken by Matt. Storm misses his thrust kick, and is elimanated after the Twist of Fate/Swanton Bomb combination.

NEXT: Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

This is i think the 154th time withing the last 2 years these two have been in the same ring on TELEVISION! quick poetry in Motion on Buh Buh, but a hair snap on Jeff invades another on Dvon. Irish whip by Don on Jeff nailing his signatur spinning elbow. Jeff gos for a top rope suplex on Buh Buh but is knocked off, and Buh Buh misses the 2nd rope backsplash. (HAS HE EVER NAILED THAT MOVE?!). Both men tag in thier partners Matt with a DDT to Buh Buh. Matt goes for a twist of fate on a Dudley, but stacey pulls him off, spear out of nowhere by Lita! Buh Buh with the BuhBuh Bomb on Matt, and he walks right into the Lita-canrana! Sommersault plancha by Jeff onto Buh Buh as Matt pins Dvon with a victory roll. Aftermath, Both Dudleys take out Jeff with a 3-D on the concrete floor.

NEXT: Billy & Chuckie Vs. Hardy Boyz..........kinda.

Matt is by himself and is easy pickings. Chuck with a thrust kick followed by Billys fameasser ends the Hardys night.

FINAL: Billy & Chuckie Vs. A.P.A.

Im not even gonna run through this match. FAST FOWARDING TIME. Billy gos for the fameaser on Faarooq but runs into a NASTY ASS Spinebuster. REWIND!!! Damn that hurts. Hot tag to Bradshaw. He clotheslines and irish whips Chuckie into opposite corners before tossing him over the top rope. Billy misses a corner splash and walks right into the Clothesline from Hell!! APA Win it and are going to Wrestlemania. Since i missed the biegging, i call it around 16:30ish. **1/2. Not bad fr an opener, but they coulda kept the good teams in longer.

 

Wrestlemania X-8 Promo. The Showcase of the Immortals!

 

-Michael Cole is backstage with The Nature Boy. Undertaker quickly intervenes and tells of Flair about respect. Why doesnt he just sing the fucking song RESPECT?!?!

 

-Its a shatterd dreams production.......wait, its Goldusts entrance. My bad.

 

Rob Van Dam vs. Goldust:

Snea attack by Goldust, clothesline over the top rope is botched, so they do it a second time. Jumping Heel Kick by RVD followed by some corner shoulderthrusts. Snapmare, spinning legdrop and a cartwheel thunder for 2. Goldust teases leaving, comes back, and does it again.

Lawler: My favorite movie line is from American Pie, "one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute up my.."

JR: Thats enough.

RVD with a jumping heel kick off the apron against the barricade.Goldust fights back with a knee and nails a double axhandle off the 2nd rope.

JR: Was that a bionic elbow?

Back in, Goldust nails some STIFF SOUNDING Punches and Slaps. Slingshot into the ropes dropping RVDs back into his knees. And does so for a second time. Loooooong Rear Chinlock, followed by the Highnee. Back to the same chinlock...........(takes a leak.)...........still in the chinlock. Low blow by RVD, walks right into a GD clothesline for 2. Backslide gets 2. Thrust kick by RVD changes the tide again. Missledropkick for 2. Slam by RVD followed by the Rolling Thunder! 2 count only. Uppercut by Goldust, but RVD reverses with another semi-rolling thunder. 5 Star Frog Splash misses. DDT by Goldust for a 2 count. Curtain Call is reversed into another spinning heel kick. Goldust misses a running bulldog and is nailed by the dragon screw heel kick. ***** Frog Splash!! 1...2....3! Its over. 11:06. A little too long for me. i give it about.......**.

 

-Backstage, nWo run into Stone Cold......the rattlesnak.e.......the toughest S.o.b. As a present, nWo give him a 6 pack of beer, of course handed to him by Scott Hall. Austins not thirsty. He accepts it....and tosses it across his shoulder.

 

WWF-Tag Team Championship Match:

Spike Dudley & Tazz © Vs. Booker T & Test:

Has everyone forgotten his amunity all of a sudden? He hasnt struck an official since................well, who gives a shit. Test starts of on Tazz with some elbows and fists. I notice recently the Heels and Faces have been changing corners to stand in for tag team matches. Clothesline by Tazz, followed by a missledropkick like dropkick by Spike. Sneak up pin by Spike gets nothing thanks t Booker. Double Team combo with a Booker T Scissors Kick to Spide Didley. Heavy chops by Booker. AHHH! Followed by a clothesline. AAHHH!!. Punch to Tazz. AHH! Im gvinig you a mental block on what booker T does every time he does anything. Body Press by T. follwed by the scissors kick. SPINAROONI!!!Tazz in, clothesline to both men, Northern Lights on Booker for 2. Dudley Dog attempt on Test, but eats the floor. Tazzmision is broken, Dudley Dog works this time! Elbow by Test on Tazz, 2 count with feet on rope but the ref notices. Shove by Test, returned by the ref into the Tazzmission for the submission win. 7:18. *1/2. Nothing Great, expect them to drop the titles to Gunn/Chuck before Wrestlemania though.

 

-The Rock with a rambling interview with The Coach. Blah Blah Blah.

 

-WWF-Intercontinental Title Match: Brassknucles on a Pole match:

William Regal © Vs. Edge

If you dont know what happens in this match, i ate your friggin guts. This match was SO bad i cant even write or even want to think about it. Edge has the brass knuckles, but Regal clocks him twice with his own "illegal" pair to retain the championship. 1/2*. Blah. Next....please!!!

(sorry, but this match REALLY DID suck its lucky i didnt give it a DUD.)

 

-Recap of the The Rock vs. Undertaker fued. Talk about a filler match with about 50 cents worth of meaning to it.

 

The Rock vs. The Undertaker:

Me too tired. Both men of course brawl to start. UT fights back into the ring with everyones move of the night. Clotheslines, and some corner forearm and punches. Both men exchange some hard shots. The rock follows up with a neckbreaker as i paint nWo on one of these model cars i put together. Undertaker with offense goin again, choking the Rock in the ropes and giving him more elbow smashes. UT works in some kicks and a chinlock that looks like a choke hold. UT gos up, but Rock nails him, hanging him in the ropes. Punches and a clothesline send him scrambling to the floor. /head smash into the spanish announce table. rock its some steal and UT works some elbows to the back of the neck. PREPARE TO FAST FOWARD! FAST FOWARDING!! Undertaker has Rock beaten down in the ring. He sits on his motorcycle looking for somethin, but cant find it. Ref goes after him and gets shoved into the ring corner. UT then grabs a lead pipe, but here comes Flair! Wooooo! Punch, Punch, chop, chop. Big Boot by UT sends him crashing. UT walks into a Rock attack. Vince comes out to distract the Rock and gets beat on in the process. Flair sneeaks in, takes the lead pipe and clobbers UT, who walks into the Rock Botoom to end this shit. I didnt time it. *3/4-ish. I can do without.

 

-Recap of the Triple H/Kurt Angle fued. HHH beats on vince & Steph, Angle retaliates on Smackdown beating him, and SM is the special referee.

 

-Mr. Perfect was shown from WWF New York and Jim Ross asked him what he thinks of the show so far. Mr. Perfect said anytime you're in New York City and live, he looks around and sees the teeth on that guy and the hair on this other guy and even the rats are ugly there. When Mr. Perfect's in town, it's going down. Whoever thought that he would be a role model? Perfect! Mr. Perfect!!

 

-#1 Contenders Match for World Title at Wrestlemania X-8:

Triple H Vs. Kurt Angle

Special Referee: StephaniWWF New York:

Stephanie came out and Howard Finkel announced her as Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, but she told him to correct himself, because she's now Stephanie McMahon. Triple H got in the ring and Stephanie got in the ring and exchanged words with him and Kurt rolled him up from behind, but only got a two count. Kurt attempted to pick up the win quickly, but Triple H was able to avoid it. During the match, the fans chanted "Take your shirt off" at Stephanie and Stephanie did her best to ignore it. Kurt Angle went to clothesline Triple H, but missed and nailed Stephanie. Stephanie fell to the outside of the ring and Mark Eaton (Timekeeper) went over and checked on her and called for some help, which prompted a number of WWF officials to come out to the ringside area. Triple H laughs and smiles all the while. Referee Tim White came out and filled in for Stephanie. (I've got a feeling she'll be back.) Kurt lures Triple H out of the ring and then he lured him back in the ring, but before Triple H got back in the ring, Kurt Angle shoved Tim White down to the mat. Kurt continued to work on Triple H and he gave him the Angle Slam and Stephanie stormed back to the ring and counted the pin, but Kurt only got a two count! Kurt got the ankle lock on Triple H and then Triple H shoved Kurt into Stephanie and Stephanie went down. Triple H then gave Kurt Angle a DDT, but there was no referee to count the pin. Both referees are down, so Kurt gets a steel chair, but Triple H stopped him from using it and then he gave Kurt Angle the Pedigree and then he pinned him for a two count as Stephanie gave Tim White an elbow drop. Stephanie then got rid of Tim White and Triple H stared her down. Triple H went for the Pedigree on Stephanie, but Kurt Angle stopped him with two chair shots. Kurt then gave Triple H the Angle Slam and then he pinned him for a three count to get the win! Triple H has gotta be pissed off, asd JR kisses his ass some more. Didnt time again, about ***, considering HHH is still not 100% in the ring.

 

-The Rock is backstage, and nWo walk in. Hogan wants a picture with Rock for his son(!?). Afterwards, he says omething about so much for the peoples choice. Rock rambles, with his yo chico impession of Razor ramon, telling him to shine his camera up real nice, give it to Big Dady Cool diesel, woo wooo, and turn it sideways., Then give it to Hogan, take your vitamins and say your prayers and stick it straight up your candy ass!.

 

-World Title Match recap. Blah.

Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Chris Jericho ©

Stone Cold Steve Austin makes his way out to the ring for his one on one match against Chris Jericho for the Undisputed Championship of the World Wrestling Federation! Austin and Jericho exchanged words and Jericho flipped Austin off and Austin returned the favor. Austin and Jericho then locked it up and Jericho snuck in a right hand on Stone Cold. Austin knocked Jericho to the outside and then Austin chased Jericho back into the ring Austin dominated in the early goings and the two fought in and out of the ring. Austin gave Jericho three, count em, three super plexes and then he pinned him, but he was unable to get the three count. Austin went for the stunner, but Jericho caught his foot and went for the Walls of Jericho, but he was unable to get it on as Austin used his leg strength to get out of it. Later on, Jericho went for the lionsault on Austin, but he missed it. Austin tried to get Jericho in the Walls of Jericho, but he couldn't get it on so he gave up and gave Jericho a slingshot into the top rope. Shortly after, Austin went for the stunner, but Jericho countered. Not too long after that, Jericho got the lionsault on Austin and then he gave him another and pinned him, but he only got a two count. Jericho eventually got the Walls of Jericho on Austin and Austin got out of it and Jericho went for the title and the referee got bumped. Austin gave Jericho a spinebuster onto the Championship belt and then he pinned Jericho, but he only got a two count. Right after that, Austin went for the stunner, but Jericho countered and gave him the break down onto the belt. Jericho pinned Austin, but only for a two count. The referee got bumped and then Austin got the Walls of Jericho on Jericho and Jericho tapped out, but there was no referee. Austin then gave Jericho the stunner and he pinned Jericho, but then the nWo stormed to the ring and Austin hammered away on them! The three eventually got the better of him and they beat him down and Scott Hall gave Steve Austin a sad looking stunner that austin sells like it was the diamond cutter/Twist of Fate. Jericho gets up, then gets in the ring and pins Stone Cold for a three count to win the match and retain the title! God damn, all my predictions were off tonight. ***1/4. Better then i woulda guessed from Austin vs. Jericho.

 

-After the match, nWo come back tot ake out Austin, beating him down. Austin trys fighting back by legsweeping Hall and nailing a few punches, but again its 3 on 1. Hogan gets 2 spray cans and Hall ends the show with the nWo on Austins back. Well, nW( on his back, ) on his ass.

 

My final Thoguhts: Not that bad a show, but still, nothing REALLY significant from other WWF PPV's. You had 2 3 star matches, some decent matches, and all out shit, since anything with on a pole in the match is just about crap.

 

Slightly Recommended.

[Guest LowKi100]

DS your a fucking loser and a piece of shit. Get some friends and stop watching WWF PPVs with your grandma and go buy some socks, you cheap bastard. This was the worst rant ever and I feel stupid by just reading it. DS SUCKS

[Guest JerryDrake]

LOL that was funny, but anyway i dissagree with some of ur ratings.

[Guest nWoScorpion]

Well, KroniK, why dont you get a girlfriend over 2 years old instead of fucking your sisters children? As for my ratings, some people enjoy/hate shit more then others.