The Ratings Grabber: The Night After

[Guest The REAL Hollywood]

- OK, well. The first Ratings Grabber didn't make a big hit as I wanted it too. Still not sure why, but I'm looking at my reviews, and some of them make sense, while the rest doesn't. While one of my reviewers is talking about Bjork and comparing it to me, or Scott Keith, or whatever he is doing, I did understand one thing. I am too much like Scott Keith, except I don't live in my parent's basement. But what my reviewer said is true, I got to Differ myself or I will never get anywhere. And no more bad jokes, I guess. Oh, yeah, nWoScorpion is still a bitch for stealing my gimmick.

 

~ Raw 2/19/02

LIVE LIVE LIVE from Chicago, IL

Your hosts are JR and DA King

 

- We get a quick start as Austin comes out with a chair. Uhh, WHAT? First thing Austin does, he gets the beer. He is pissed off, WHAT?, he is very pissed off. He had Jericho, RIGHT THEIR, WHAT?, WHAT? and he pinned him, 1..2..3, WHAT?, BECAUSE HE'S STONE COLD, WHAT? But that didn't happen. Austin calls out the nWo. The nWo once again somehow get control of the technical stuff, and we are in Black and White again, except when we go to Austin, where it is in color. Austin is going to put some stink on the nWo, with stunners. nWo plan out what they are going to do, then they just leave. nWo rules. Austin wants a piece of ass. Not just any ass. Some nWo ass. Austin wants ass, and with Patterson booking, makes ya think. Austin sits.

 

~ Commercials We are just 4 weeks from Wrestlemania, the biggest PPV of the year, and every angle going on right now sucks just as worst as my Mom trying to make a dime.

 

~ Austin is still in the ring when Angle comes out with off duty cops. Off duty? You Suck, What, chant rules all. Angle talks about Austin wasting TV time, but Austin just throws beers at him. Angle has an announcement to make, but Austin wont leave. After about 5 minutes of wasting air time, Angle makes his announcement, and that he is going to Wrestlemania. We knew that already. Austin attacks Angle and beats on the off duty cops. Can Off Duty cops arrest people? Angle taunts Austin. Eh, we seen Austin getting arrested so many times before. Of course these cops are about 19 years old.

 

~ Commercials.

 

~ Fear Factor with Hardy's, Lita, Molly, Jackie, and Test.

 

~ Recap of Austin's attack on Angle. During the break, Austin is arrested. Big deal.

 

~ Hardy BoyZ w/Lita supporting pig tails vs. New Team Canada

 

Just to explain it quick, if Storm and Christian don't have the tag titles, they shouldn't be teaming and are being misused. Storm and Matt start off. Both go for hip tosses, but Matt is able to get a neckbreaker and a tag to Jeff. Poetry in Motion to Storm, and Jeff knocks Christian off the apron. Low blow leg drop to Storm, and Jeff goes to the top, but Christian trips him. Double team on Jeff and Christian is in. Stomach crusher to Jeff for a two count. Christian gets Jeff in an abdominal stretch, but Jeff fights out of it to miss a dropkick. Small package by Jeff to get a two count. Storms tagged in and double teaming on Jeff. Jeff fights back and gets a reverses inzuguri to Storm and tag to Matt. Matt cleans house and gets a reverses DDT to Storm, and Russian Leg Sweep/Reverse DDT combo to Christian for a two count. Jeff throws Storm out of the ring and slingshots himself outside at Storm, but misses. Storm grabs Matt's leg and Christian is able to get a reverse DDT for a two count. Christian cries, and Storm wants to know what the fuck is going on. This Christian whining angle is going to get him nowhere, and fast. Litacarana to Storm on the outside. Christian goes for Unprietter but Matt reverses into Twist of Fate and Swanton to end it @ 4:45. Hardy's NEED new moves. Reverse DDT's aren't going to do it anymore. ***

 

~ Steph is in the back and I am pretty sure her tits are getting bigger and bigger. Kurt comes in and Steph congratulates him for having Austin getting thrown in jail and beating HHH. Once again, Angle IS going to Wrestlemania. Of course, Steph was a great ref. She says that Angle beat HHH using the Ankle Slam. Uhhh, What? Flair comes in and makes Angle vs. HHH again tonight for Wrestlemania title shot. No, Steph either. WHAT THE FUCK?

 

~ Commercials

 

~ Some fucked up guy named Criss Angel is going to get pierced and hung in the air for hours at WWF NY. I'm not even going to bother asking.

 

~ OlderTaker is here. Want's to know where Flair is. He starts screaming at some worker. At his age, he should be careful for heart attacks. Taker finds Flair and challenges him to a match at Wrestlemania. CAN'T YOU SMELL THE BUYRATES?

 

~ More Commercials.

 

~ Apparently a WWF House Show will be at Continental Airlines Arena Thursday, March 28th. According to the commercial, The nWo should be their.

 

~ Wrestlemania Moment - Kane tombstones Pete Rose at Wrestlemania 14.

 

~ The nWo are leaving and they are going to get sushi. Hogan changes his mind and goes to take care of personal stuff. So Nash and Hall leave < wink wink >. I need Hogan's Hollywood jacket.

 

~ MR. PERFECT, WHOOOOOOOOO. Mr. Perfect missed smacking his gum, that's a shame.  Perfect calls out Brian Urlacher from the Chicago Bears in the audience and makes fun of them for their horrible attempt in the playoffs. HE LOST, PERFECT WON, MR. PERFECT IS PERFECT AND EVERYONE ELSE IS IMPERFECT. Oh yeah, fire. We all know what's going to happen now.

 

~ Mr. Perfect vs. Fuck This No Talent Hack (Kane)

 

Kane starts off with an elbow and a shoulderblock to Mr. P. Big boot and Mr. P is sent over the top rope. Everything is all God damn Smokey because of Kane's pyro. Mr. P fights back and sends Kane into the ring post. Back in, THE PERFECT HEAD SNAP, but Kane no sells it and goes for a chokeslam. Mr. P gets out of it and goes for the Perfect Plex, but its blocked and Kane is able to get a side walk slam. Kane goes to the top rope and gets his FLYING CLOTHESLINE OF RED FIERY DOOM to Mr. P. Chokeslam, and its over @ 2:12. Thank God that was only two minutes. Perfect is over with just about everybody. At least give him a European title push damnit. 1/4 *

 

~ Hogan is walking down the HALL OF ENDLESS WALKING!

 

~ Tough Enough 2 commercial.

 

~ Once again, everything goes Black and White and here's Hogan. The black and white thing is getting annoying and fast. Hogan thinks back about his life with the WWF. The Russians, the giants, and a 700 pound (??) Andre the Giant. All the fans didn't have respect for Hogan anymore, which is what drove him out of the WWF. Hogan tells the fans to kiss his ass and that he made the WWF and Wrestling when we all know NOVA INVENTED WRESTLING. Hogan says no one in the business is as big as him and here comes the over rated bastard himself. Hogan thinks its him who made wrestling, but it doesn't matter what he thinks. The Rock admits to loving and believing in Hogan. Wow, this is boring. Fast forward a little bit because I am not paying attention, and Rocky challenges Hogan to a match at Wrestlemania. BUYRATES IT IS ALL ABOUT BUYRATES!!!!!!!! Hogan calls Rock a flavor of the month, and I am guessing Hogan wants to lick Rock all over, <inset Patterson insult now>. The people decide they want to see Rock/Hogan and Hogan finally agrees. Hogan offers a hand shake to make this official, but as so many times before, Rock Bottom to Hogan. And when you think this ends this crappy segment, think again BROTHA, this is the nWo. Hall and Nash never left and attack the Rock before he can leave. nWo rules so much. Hogan starts to whip Rock with his Hollywood belt. Hall takes Rock and gives him a Alcho-HALL's Edge then Nash drops the Glass Ceiling powerbomb, nearly dropping Rock on his head. Hogan gets out of the ring and goes through a tool box, getting a hammer. Finally, it starts to get interesting. Hall and Nash hold Rock up and Hogan nails Rock with the hammer in the back of the head. Hogan gets the LEG DROP OF ALL MIGHTY DOOM and Hall makes the three count as the fans count along. Shouldn't they like, boo the nWo? Hogan gets the spray paint and Rock gets a new nWo tattoo on his back "nWo 2 Sweet."  Rock is carried out on a stretcher. One long ass segment.

 

~ Commercials

 

~ Rock is being put in the ambulance. Big whoop. As the ambulance drives out, a truck stops in front of the ambulance, and a car pulls up behind it. The nWo get out of the car and start to destroy the ambulance. Nice. They start making fun of the Rock and tie the doors shut in the ambulance. Hogan gets back in the truck, and Hogan drives it straight into the ambulance. Though it was cool, I am VERY concerned for the Rock. Look at me. I am on the brink of crying. As they see what they did, they get in a car and drive away.

 

~ Commercials

 

~ Fireman are trying to get The Rock out of the ambulance. Whatever.

 

~ The Bastard Who Wouldn't Sign an Autograph for my 10 year old brother (Godfather) vs. Booka T

 

The escorts aren't dancing or anything and look worried, most likely selling for the Rock/nWo incident. They sell better then Bagwell. Booka starts by pounding on the bastard in the corner. Bastard fights back, but misses an elbow. Booka hits a spin kick but misses a Harlem side kick, and gets hit with a clothesline. Bastard gets a sidewalk slam, and NO ONE FUCKING CARES. HE IS GETTING NO REACTION WHAT SO EVER. Booka comes back and goes for the Ax kick but Bastard gets a powerslam. Bastard dances around like a fucking flamer and gets a leg drop. He goes for the Hooker Train, but the escorts aren't paying attention, and the fucker gets a Harlem sidekick for good measure and the pin @ 2:17. As you can see, I am not a big fan of that fucker. He wouldn't give my 10 year old brother an autograph. COME ON, HE'S 10 YEARS OLD. I say fire that talentless bitch. * just for Booker winning.

 

~ They are STILL trying to get the Rock out of the ambulance. Now the police are here. Jeez.

 

~ Commercials.

 

~ Boot of the Week: APA pounds on The Ambitiously Gay Duo from No Way Out.

 

~ TAFKA Dusty Dust & William "Left Hand" Regal vs. Edge & "Mr. Monday Night" Rob Van Dam

 

Heels are out first, and faces both get big pops. Faces charge heels, but heels get them in the corner. Try the double Irish whip, but the faces reverse and hit double flying wheel kicks. RVD and Goldust start and RVD hits a middle rope kick to the face and a standing moonsault for two. Goldust gets an uppercut and Regal is tagged in. RVD ducks an elbow and gets a cross body. Regal comes back and hits a knee to the face and tags Goldust. Goldust gets RVD with the FLYING BUTT THUMPER OF GOLDEN SLAUGHTER. Goldust with ten punches and a necksnap with an elbow for two. Goldust goes for a powerslam, but RVD gets out of it and gets a step over heel kick. Double tag and Edge unloads on the heels. Middle rope dropkick to Regal gets a two count thanks to Goldy. RVD knocks Goldust out of the ring, and Edge gets a spear and a step over standing leg lock for the Regal tap out @ 3:50. Goldust comes in and gets a spear himself. RVD goes to the top and top rope kick to Regal's face. Very nice from Edge and RVD. Regal is just becoming dead weight. ** 1/2.

 

~ They FINALLY get Rock out of the ambulance and put him in another one. What I wish for another nWo truck to smash into that one while it leaves.

 

~ Recap of nWo attack on Rock. Yeah, we all saw it.

 

~ Michelle Cole interviews Angle. Michelle wants to know if Angle thinks he can concentrate on his match, with what just happened. But Angle talks about Flair putting his title shot in a match tonight.

 

~ YOUR Canadian Hero comes out for color commentary.

 

~ Commercials.

 

~ www.WWF.COM. GO THEIR OR YOU SUCK

 

~ Jericho makes fun of JR about him beating Austin at No Way Out.

 

~ Kurt Angle vs. HHH (Number One Contendership for the Undisputed World Title on the Line)

 

Angle's video plays but no music. After a while, it finally plays and the YOU SUCK chant that goes with his music starts a little afterwards. All Angle chants rule. Angle attacks HHH before he can spit his water. They brawl a little on the outside and Angle whips HHH into the steel steps. Angle gets a suplex on HHH for a two count. HHH starts to fight back, but Angle gets a knee to the midsection. Angle with a rib buster for two. Angle pounds on HHH in the corner. Angle gets another knee in the midsection. Angle gets HHH in an abdominal stretch and uses the ropes for leverage. HHH is able to counter it into his own abdominal stretch, but Angle gets out. Angle goes for a German suplex, but HHH reverses it to get an over the head belly to belly for two. Another belly to belly suplex get s two two counts. Angle pounds on HHH in the corner and rams his shoulder into HHH's midsection. Angle goes for it again, but HHH moves, and Angle eats post. I'm not really paying attention to this match for some reason. HHH gets a duck and pull neckbreaker. HHH is able to get a high knee for a two count. HHH gets a DDT for another two count. HHH almost hits Mikey Chioda, but stops short and ends up getting a spine buster for two on Angle. Knee buster and pedigree, but Angle gets out of it for a slingshot. Angle gets a back body drop. Angle heads up top looking for the Angle Sault, but HHH comes from under him and they both go down, but HHH is able to get a two count. Angle is able to dump HHH, and gets an over the head belly to belly suplex on the mat in front of Jericho, JR, and King. Angle talks trash to Jericho, and Jericho feels offended because he is Canadian and better then everyone else. Angle grabs the Undisputed WCW Canadian Title and hits HHH with it. He rolls HHH in the ring and gets a two count. Angle gets three rolling German suplexs and the Angle Ankle Lock, but HHH is able to get to the ropes. Angle goes for HHH, but HHH is able to pull him in face first into the corner. HHH goes for the pedigree, but Angle gets the anklelock, but HHH gets out of it and pedigree and the crappy WWF booking just made last nights match between the two worthless. Match ends at exactly 12 minutes. A lot slower then from No Way Out, but still good. ** 3/4

 

~ Jericho and HHH have a stare off and the show ends.

 

--------------------------------

Thoughts:

 

- Well, the booking sucks. Everyone knew that. To take HHH's number one contendership and put it on the line at No Way Out, and have him lose it, then win it back the next night, I really want to know what these guys are smoking.

 

- Hogan/Rock promo was good, but drawn out. The nWo attack on Raw made my day.

 

- I Pray that Rock was in that ambulance.

 

- 2 Hours of air time and only 5 matches, with not even half an hour combined time for all these matches.

 

- Match of the Night: HHH/Angle even though slower then last night.

 

- Worst Match of the Night: Bastard/Booka T

 

- Most Memorable Moment: nWo killing the Rock.

 

- WWF With Authority, the WWF's official Card Game (www.WithAuthority.com) has released Rob Van Dam as a special limited edition. $16 for RVD with 2 ***** Frog Splash, 2 Van Daminators, and 2 Step Over Heel Kick. GO BUY HIM NOW.

 

- From a insider < cough >, this is the matches that took place before raw. I am not sure if they are just dark matches or for Jakked/Metal.

 

Tazz & Spike beat Leviathan & Brock Lesnar

Chuck & Billy beat Randy Orton & Shelton Benjamin

Val Venis beat Scotty 2 Hotty

Dudleys beat Tajiri & Funaki

Test beat Crash

Bossman beat Michael Shane

 

- nWoScorpion is a fucking faggot who stole my name. He can only wish he was Hollywood.

 

- Link of the Second/Minute/Hour/Day/Week/Month/Year -  Club Briana Banks, YES, BRIANA BANKS (http://www.Club-Briana-Banks.com), The greatest porn star in the world.

 

- Like what you read? Support me. E-mail Scott Keith, EVERY 5 MINUTES AND TELL HIM YOU WANT HOLLYWOOD ON THE SMARKS. WHY? BECAUSE HOLLYWOOD = RATINGS.

 

- Want to request a past Pay Per View? Or a certain show or tape? Well, e-mail me at [email protected] and if I have it, I'll rant it. If I don't, I'll buy it because I care about my fans (and haters).

 

- Own a fed? A tape site? A News Site? A PORN SITE? YOU SEND IT TO ME, AND I MIGHT JUST POST IT ON THE NEXT EDITION OF THE RATINGS GRABBER AS THE LINK OF THE SECOND/MINUTE/HOUR/DAY/WEEK/MONTH/YEAR!

[Guest nWoScorpion]

that was really shitty. Get a new prefesion BOY.

[Guest The REAL Hollywood]

........ Uhh, your like 11 years old BOY. Dont fuck with me. Look what happened to Dose, Kahn, and the others when they got in the way of Hollywood.

[Guest nWoScorpion]

Yea, i sent em down the ladder. Im 17 you dumb fuck, go play with your sisters barbie dolls. (sucks thumb initating you.)

[Guest The REAL Hollywood]

At least I can write a pretty good rant without marking out to Rock and jerking off to fucking HHH you fucking bitch. Instead of watching pay per views with your grandmother and memorizing EVERY MOTHER FUCKING PPV THAT EVER HAPPENED, GO GET A FUCKING LIFE

[Guest nWoScorpion]

Then why are you TRYING so hard to use Kronics jokes and TRY making fun of every wrestler? Heres a new clue, sign off for fucking once form the internet you loser who jerks off to Hentai Comics...........sorry, thats Kid Tornado, but you get my drift.

[Guest tpww7]

<Buzzsaw Kick to DS> shut the hell up

[Guest Army Eye]

this is one sorry ass flame war. Conduct your disputes in an AOL chat room or something.  This is not the place