Guest erotic jesus Report post Posted February 19, 2002 y2kam News-Test for February 19/2002. But first a self-induldgent paragraph (or six) of introduction, because my News Updates aren't so much about wrestling, as they are about life. Specifically MY life. I have been on the internet for, uhh, seven years now, and just now am I getting the proverbial "grapefruits" to speak up, let my opinions fly like so much soda thrown at Marcus Bagwell. I have grown up on RSPW, MiCasa, Wrestleline, Scoops, Rantsylvania, and am finally going to try and live up to my fantasies of working for a respected site (RSPW used to be respected, you know), and sharing my opinions with the world around me about the world around me, and so on, and so forth. My second fantasy is to appear in a Wizard of ID cartoon. Still reaching for that rainbow, there. One *hilarious* story to poke fun at exactly how pathetic I was upon my entrance to RSPW in 1995: The first header I read was "Jim Cornette Gets A Push!", Cornette having just turned Davey Boy Smith against Diesel, which lead to that wonderful Nash/Smith blowoff, and the infamous headset-throwing heard round the world, which in turn lead to the beginnings of the WWF flirting with an ECW style. But I digress, big time, and apologize for my run-on sentence. I read that header, and got all pretentious on its ass ( I had Apter mags, afterall, I KNEW what was going on), thinking it was a cutesy post someone made applauding the fact that Corny had been pushed off the apron, by HBK or someone. "he got what he deserved lol, that fatty fuck who gets his mummy to dresse him in the mourning lol!!!!!" Oh, how naive I was. You have permission to travel back in time and beat me with a bust of Beethoven. I learned the 'net slang, finally, to the point I actually called Gollum a "tweener" in my final essay for my Tolkien & Fantasy class last term. That's totally made up, by the way. My writing style is, well, untested. Above all, though, I hope to be unique and comparable to no one, save Hemingway or Diana Hart. You can see I am desperate to talk about myself. I spent a good part of my youth slot-car racing and questing to be an avatar. Al Snow was as close as I got. I lead a lonely life to this day. Not terribly virtuous, either. Sigh... ANYWAY, to the NEWS. Because that's why you're here, right? We all know that thesmarks.com is a hotbed of piping, fresh from the 'vine news and rumours... *ahem* Perhaps not the best way to make a good impression, eh? Top Story: WWF RAW brodcast without technical failure last night at Nine PM Eastern Time! En espanol si disponible, too! Actually up here in Canada, it was pre-empted for Olympic Curling... Which is quite fun to watch: "HARRDDDD...YAH YAH....HARDDDD" Heh heh. I was expecting Raw to be pre-empted again, though, for live coverage of Wayne Gretzky run amok in Olympic Village. Twenty-five years of being calm, and cool (by that I mean geeky) even while watching his wife age like a jar of mayonaise in a sauna, and the Pro-Star finally gets angry. He has a reason to be upset, though, I mean, it was a nasty check from behind... Check from a Czech! Bwahaha..ha..(*cough*cough*). Yikes. Last night was the first time Hulk Hogan has been on Raw in nine years, and Hall and Nash in six, and damned if the nWo just doesn't look right in the post-New Generation/Attitude Desire rings. Kind of reminds me of the first time ECW invaded Raw at the Manhattan Center... and the LOD came back, and it just wasn't right... Which lead to Droz's on-screen attempted murder of a drunk and depressed Hawk. But speaking of attemted murder, The nWo tried to kill the Rock last night. Am I going to be the first to ask exactly why or how Hogan had keys to a transport truck? The angle wasn't terribly shocking, and the announcers talking about how the "show must go on" leaves a bad taste in my mouth knowing what *has* legitimately happened in the past... There was some good, to the show, too... The nWo angle didn't get blown right off the bat like the Invasion angle did. I expect that to happen on Smackdown. No, seriously, this could work... I'm not sure *how*, I just know it can... The nWo were over from what I could hear, with the crowd. Angle's mic work made me happy, as did Jericho's commentary. The Angle/HHH main event was match of the night, and the best HHH match I have seen since he returned (I didn't see the PPV...) I am not thrilled with the decision, as I would much rather see Angle/Jericho at Wrestlemania... Oh well. I can't get what I want. If I could, Iron Mike Sharpe wold be headlining... It IS Canada afterall... Waaahhhhhhh!!! My arm!!! The rest of the show was dull, and I only got through it because I have no friends, no hobbies, and a severe drinking problem. My only friends are the pelicans... And they don't come around no more. More WWF News: Rock vs. Hulk Hogan is on for Wrestlemania X-8, as is Chris Jericho vs. Triple H, after HHH beat Angle last night on Raw... Other matches to expect are Scott Hall vs. Steve Austin in an A.A. chip vs. Beer match. Ric Flair vs. The Undertaker in a match that is destined to be so awkwardly bad, I am already thinking of what I am going to get to eat while it's on. This leaves one glaring question: WWJD? err-, I mean, WWND? as in What Will Nash Do? The only top-tier opponent left for him seems to be Kurt Angle. Or, dear God... Big Show... Kane. Ack! I am also expecting William Regal vs. RVD at Wrestlemania, and hopefully that intense DDP/Bossman blow-off... WWA News, you know you want it: They have a PPV coming up, and allegedly, Road Dogg is the only one who is contracted to show up, but even he may not be able too. Kronik want more money (because Lord knows they *deserve* it, given how hard they worked in the WWF). Jeff Jarrett, who is WWA champion, is on vacation with his yellow shop-teacher glasses, and is thinking he might not want to show up... but he and WWA head-guy Andrew McManus seem to be working out differences. He will be there, I bet, no need for him to get black-balled again. You know, if I were Jarrett, and I had no hope of going to the WWF, and there were no spot for me in Japan, I would work my damndest to build up the promotion I am lucky enough to be placed on top of... A promotion which has a shred of potential to compete with the WWF. Just saying, is all... (credit: I don't remember. But it was somebody.) Closing Thoughts: This is the first news update I have ever written... Forgive its length, if it is too long (I've had to tell this to SO MANY WOMEN... *sigh*). And if it makes you want to put "a gunn to your head", then, well, sorry... But I just wanted to see how I could do. Until next time, if there is a next time, you can call me kam2k, or y2kam, or erotic jesus, or Angela Landsbury. I respond to them all. Some more vibrantly, than others... Thanks for reading, and any impending commentary. You can reach me at [email protected] More of my writing is available at http://y2k.unitycode.org Bye for now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
