Hulk Hogan's Greatest Matches

[Guest Kingpk]

Hulk Hogan’s Greatest Matches

 

This tape is from 1992. Gee, 10 years ago and people were tiring of Hogan act. So, what is he doing now? The same damn thing, forgetting that he reinvented himself with the NWO. Sean Mooney introduces the tape, saying nothing of importance.

 

Match #1: Hulk Hogan © vs. Andre the Giant (w/Bobby Heenan) (WWF Title match)

 

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura

Event: WrestleMania III

 

Do I really have to recap this match? Andre slowly beats on Hogan (with overdramatic selling) until Hogan comes back, delivers the Bodyslam Heard around the World and gets the victory.

 

Score: 5/10 Because of the significance of the match and the fact it drew 93,000 people.

 

Match #2: Hulk Hogan © vs. Sgt. Slaughter (w/ General Adnan) (Desert Storm Match for the WWF Title)

 

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, and Jim Neidhart

Venue/Date: Madison Square Garden (1991)

 

Cute name for the match. Basically a hardcore match, before the WWF just called them that and made a title that gets more useless by the day. Joined in progress with Slaughter beating on Hogan with a belt. Slaughter is already busted open (why not show how?) Adnan slides a chair in, but Slaughter falls over when he tries to raise it over his head (har har). Hogan delivers a wussy chairshot to the back while Slaughter is on all fours. Slaughter hits a Russian leg sweep and hits an even worse chairshot on Hogan’s back. Slaughter locks in the Camel Clutch (one of Hogan’s arms slip off, so Gorilla has to cover, calling it a “double reverse chinlock”). Hogan piggybacks Slaughter into the corner, leading to a double KO. Slaughter goes up (?) but slips off the top (HA!). He goes up again, but is slammed off (with Gorilla calling him “a Scud missile). Double clothesline. Slaughter removes his boot, but Hogan lights some flash pap…I mean, a fireball, and tosses it at Slaughter, going about a foot over his head. Jim calls that “a Patriot missile” (well, it missed its target, so I guess that’s accurate) and Hogan hulks up. Big Boot and Hogan locks in a Camel Clutch of his own. Adnan throws in the towel (a wink to Backlund/Skaaland perhaps?) And Hogan retains.

 

Score: 3/10 A boring, slow match.

 

Match #3: Hulk Hogan © (w/Elizabeth) vs. Randy Savage (w/Sensational Sherri) WWF Title match

 

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes

Venue/Date: Paris, France (date unknown)

 

Mucho stalling by Savage to start, even cutting a promo that says, in as many words, Hogan will get beat, he’ll be the champ, and the victory is dedicated to Sherri. Sherri freely interferes, with the ref just standing there, and she gets tossed around by Hogan. Savage is atomic dropped to the outside and Sherri follows. Hogan is pulled out and choked by Savage. Sherri gets her shots in, but Hogan (being the gentleman he is) rams her face into the apron. Back in, Hogan dominates while Sherri screams like a banshee. Why is Liz out there, anyway? Sherri hops onto the apron and yells at Hogan some more. He mocks her and threatens a spanking (um, yuck), Hogan grabs her and readies the right hand but Savage knees him to the outside. The commentary is saving this match, Monsoon and Hayes aren’t even taking this match seriously. Sherri back rakes Hogan and, even though she’s wearing gloves and it doesn’t seem it would hurt in the slightest, he sells it (must have a sunburn or something). Back in, a double axehandle gets 2 (wow a pin attempt, surprised Sherri didn’t try that) and Savage slaps on the sleeper as I slap the FF button. Sherri jaws at the crowd and screams at Savage (Daffney must have taken notes from her managerial days). Hogan breaks and Sherri grabs his foot while coming off the ropes. He grabs her hair and Savage attacks. A shoe-assisted double axe gets 2 and Hogan tosses him off and Hulks up. Liz slaps Savage (although we never see it, but that’s what Hayes said) and The Usual finishes as Liz holds Sherri at bay. Hogan offers a double noggin knocker as a parting gift for Savage and Sherri.

 

Ugh, a world title comedy match. Yay. Score: 1/10

 

Match #4: Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter © (w/General Adnan) WWF Title match

 

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan and Regis Philbin

Event: Wrestlemania VII

 

TWO Hogan-Slaughter matches on a “Greatest Matches” tape? Some pretty low standards there. JIP with Hogan working over Slaughter. He goes up (?), but Adnan holds his foot and Hogan is slammed down and clotheslined out. Slaughter grabs a chair and hits Hogan’s back, and then chokes him with a camera cable. Back in, Slaughter works the back, kicking it and hitting a backbreaker. Baghdad Crab right next to the ropes, and Regis wonders why Hogan won’t just grab them, Bobby and Gorilla ignore him. He finally does, and Slaughter goes out to grab another chair and hits Hogan in the head. Hogan blades, Slaughter works the cut, drawing good blood. Camel Clutch, but Hogan powers out of it and Slaughter pushes him into the corner. Slaughter drapes the Iraqi flag over Hogan and gets a 2 count. Hulk up, the flag is torn, and The Usual finishes for Hogan’s 3rd title.

 

Score 3/10

 

Match #5: Hulk Hogan vs. The Undertaker © (w/Paul Bearer) WWF Title match

 

Commentators: Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon

Event: Tuesday in Texas, November 1991

 

This is from that PPV after the Survivor Series when Taker won the title thanks to Ric Flair and a Tombstone to a chair. Jack Tunney (WWF President at the time) is at ringside to prevent any tomfoolery. JIP with Hogan clotheslining Taker to the outside and Bearer using the POWER OF THE URN! to strenghten Taker. He dominates Hogan inside, slapping on a face claw, wearing down Hogan as I’m getting worn down by the suck on this tape. Hogan comes back and whips Taker to the ropes, but he slips and almost breaks his neck (D’OH). I pretty much stopped taking detailed notes at this point, but the Ropewalk is blocked and Taker is tossed down and Hogan Hulks up as Flair makes his entrance. Tunney gets in his way, but is sandwiched by Flair when Hogan hits him with a chair. Flair goes to the apron with the chair, but Taker meets it instead and Hogan his the Big Boot (and clotheslines Flair form good measure). Like an idiot, he tells Taker to get up and gets a throat thrust for his idiocy. Taker grabs him for Paul, but he hits Taker by mistake. Hogan gets the urn, dumps out the contents (Folgers crystals by the looks of things), tosses some into Taker’s eyes, and rolls him up for title #4 (his shortest reign, Tunney ordered the title vacant and the 1992 Royal Rumble was for the title, which Flair won.)

 

Bor-ing: Score: 2/10

 

The tape ends with Hogan’s posing.

 

The Verdict: Hope the guy that made this video got fired. Hoo boy, the crap this thing produced could fill a silo. Hogan-Andre you can find ANYWHERE. Skip this tape, and slap the owner of the store that actually has it for rent, for me, of course.

[Guest alfdogg]

lol, Funny shit.

 

You'd probably be better off with Hulkamania Forever or Hulkamania 6 (has Hogan-Hansen from Japan, pretty good match) than this one by the sounds of it.

[Guest AxelSmash]

Unless your being sarcastic, Hogan/UT happened Teusday in Texas, not Thursday.

[Guest Kingpk]

Unless your being sarcastic, Hogan/UT happened Teusday in Texas, not Thursday.

You're right, I'll fix that, thanks.

[Guest Retro Rob]

I don't like Hulkamania Forever. Hulkamania 4 wasn't too bad though.

[Guest MillenniumMan831]

I don't like Hulkamania Forever. Hulkamania 4 wasn't too bad though.

Hulkamania 4 was good stuff, and say what you want about Hulkamania Forever, but it's my only copy of seeing Hogan job to The Genius. Boy, Ventura was awfully pleased!

 

BRAINS OVER BRAWN, MCMAHON!!!!!