PROMO: Family matters

[Guest Drew_K]

Backstage at an SJL arena. More specifically, the medic’s office. CIA sits, looking over towards the man before him with an accusing glare. “So you absolutely, one hundred percent guarantee me you didn’t go to the same medical school as Z?”

 

Sighing, the doctor is just about to remind the Canadian for the third time that Z is not a licensed practitioner of medicine, but he thinks better of it, knowing he would just be taking the bait again. The wrestler before him merely smiles, rolling his eyes. “Geez, doc. I’m sore, I’m bored, and I have to see you every day this week just so I can get cleared for my cage match….. my next cage match… my world title…. Ah, screw it, for the next show. You could at least make it amusing for me, eh?” Going back to quietly waiting, CIA allows the doctor to continue his examination, sitting quietly until the doctor places the cold stethescope against his chest, conspicuously right along a purple bruise still evident from his match in the cage, and not the only one.

 

The Canadian winces, but quickly tries to cover up his discomfort with a joke. “Hey, doc, we’ve been seeing each other for a while now, eh? You think maybe you could warm that bad boy up first?” The doctor looks up at CIA, glaring. “Geez, no sense of humor, eh?. Fine. Is it alright if I make a phone call?”

 

Not waiting for a response, CIA reaches over for his jacket, pulling out a cellphone, complete with SJL superstars faceplate, Canadian edition. Dialing a number, CIA hums a tune, some pop song that he’d heard on the radio and wasn’t able to get out of his head, even though he knew it sucked. Rolling his eyes, CIA sighs. “Hey there. Machine, huh? I never know how to talk to these things. Look, just call me back.

 

Smiling, CIA looks down at the doctor, hanging up his phone. “Look, Doc, bottom line it. I’m good to go for the cage match, eh?” Turning away for a minute, the doctor goes to check his charts, finally turning back to CIA, and clearing his throat.

 

“Against my BETTER judgment, Mr….. A, you have medical clearance. But I must warn you….”

 

Already pulling his shirt over his head, CIA hops off the table and heads for the door. “Thanks doc, see you later, eh? Always something to do.”

 

Marching out into the hallowed halls that so many wrestlers strive to walk through, in preperation for a single match. And he’d made it. Heck, he was fighting for the world title. Sure, he might have choked in all his title matches, and maybe it could be said the recent WF graduating class had opened his spot, but he was still here, and the people still loved him. And all it cost was…..

 

Shit, now he was depressed again. Add that on top of the bumps and bruises, and CIA was in a horrid mood all of a sudden. Maybe he could go to the General’s office….. No, the only one he ever enjoyed talking to was the beaver, and maybe that’s cause Pierre never talked back. Not that he could. CIA didn’t know a word of French anyway.

 

Hmm…. Mess with the sWo? No, that’s a bad idea. Those guys were unstable enough, and if he did anything, he wanted them to still have it in mind when the Cage match began. Maybe there was someone else around he could talk to, get in a better mood. Looking around as he walks through the halls, CIA spots people, and mentally breaks down the possibilities. Hey, there’s Thor. No. His Olde English always gave CIA a headache. And everytime CIA tried to offer him a beer, he’d get nothing but ‘Bring me ale, brewed in the halls of Asgard!’. He certainly didn’t need that.

 

Hey, there’s ‘Hollywood’ Spike Jenkins. He was always good for a laugh. But no, it looked like he was spaced out again. CIA rolls his eyes as he remembers the last time he tried to start a chat with Spike when he was like this. ‘Dude! My hands are fucking huge!’ and ‘Wanna watch Fantasia?’. Definitely not the worst sentence in the world, but not what CIA was looking for. CIA moves on, heading for the teardown of the in ring area. As he’s about to pass through the curtain, he spots someone else still. Silent.

 

.

.

.

.

 

Fuck no. OHIP didn’t cover those kind of medical bills.

 

Sighing, the Canadian makes his way through the curtain, and marches down the ramp. The fans are gone, but you can still almost feel the electricity. The technicians are still tearing down the ring, and the walls of the cage are stacked, still out of the truck that will move them to the next big show. The Canadian leaps up onto the stacked up cage sections, laying back and looking up at the sky. Fuck. Nothing could get him out of this sort of funk except…..

 

An electronic ring in a rendition of the Barenaked Ladies’ ‘One Week’?

 

Ah! The phone! Sitting up quickly, CIA pulls the phone from his pocket, and presses the button. Oddly enough, no accent of any kind is evident when he speaks, and certainly not any ‘EH’s. “Hello? Hey! Yeah, great. No, no, nothing important. Just a couple minutes ago. Man, it’s great to hear from you, sis. I know, you want me to come visit. No, no, I’m still…. Stationed out of the country. Yeah, I know it’s been three years. And I KNOW I never call you. It’s just… they don’t let me. No contact. Hell, they’d be pissed if they knew I was talking to you now, but I had to. I’ve had a stressful week….. uh-huh. Right. No, I HAVEN’T given up that filthy habit, and yes I had one. Just one.”

 

Smiling, CIA watches the ring go down, and listens to her talk. About all the trivial stuff he always thought meant nothing. But now, he was here, where he’d always wanted to be. But sometimes, just sometimes, he thought about the people who never even saw him any more.

 

“You still watch that? You only watched it cause I liked it. Yeah, it is catchy. No, I havn’t been able to catch a show. No TV where I am. A masked Canadian, huh? Sounds like a real blast. Yeah, I wish I could be there to watch it with you guys. Yeah. Send mom my love. Uh-huh. Of course. And remember, that guy you married better keep treating you right, or big bro’s gonna come home to beat him up. I would, too….. yeah. Yeah, talk to you… soon. I hope. Yeah. Bye, sis. Be good.”

 

He thought about it for a moment. He knew he wouldn’t call her anytime soon. He shouldn’t have called her now. That life was behind him. This life was great, but the things that he couldn’t go back to….. fuck. Now he was depressed again. Maybe Spike would still be willing to watch Fantasia. Beats sitting around feeling sorry for himself.

[Guest Kibagami]

(Y) @ Fantasia and Silent inflating people's medical insurance.

 

Nice bit of character development for that crazy Canadian mountie. Maybe you, too can compete in the vaunted PROMO WARS! one day, grasshopper.

 

Wilson, Edwin, 'Cast, Thoth and I will school you, though.

 

::mildly sells CIA having a sister::

 

S.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

No, the only one he ever enjoyed talking to was the beaver, and maybe that’s cause Pierre never talked back. Not that he could. CIA didn’t know a word of French anyway.

 

Um, wow. This ruled. Oh so much.

 

I hadn't caught on yet that CIA was doing this as a sort of undercover thing...it's kind of a cool dimension. Now that he's talked, and now that we see this promo...I don't know. I feel like I know the guy.

 

::sells CIA having a sister slightly more than Silent::

[Guest kelloggs]

JL trainers room PromoWars shall begin as I had the same idea. You just put yours out faster. Damnit, now I gotta make mine better. Good depth of character, it really makes CIA more human to have a lil' sis. He can't be the JL preformer all the time.

[Guest Rabbi_wilson13]

I had no idea about the CIA character, and now I feel like I could even make the effort to write him.

 

I mean you can try to woop us, but Silent's actually right for once, we'll roll ya. But its great to just have promos all over the place.

 

Very nice work, CIA. It's good to just see people having characters. great job.

[Guest Ironman]

Great work, Drew. If I think of anything neat to say I'll tell you in chat.

[Guest Ironman]

Anyone seen Mak lately?

[Guest kelloggs]

Back from work and good spamming Ironman...at least you commented. Thanks

 

Ah well it looks like I am the Ironguys bitch once again. Well here's the link to me shitting myself if you really must see http://www.ironguysanass.com/nosells_crap.html/

 

The Educated Mark

 

M. "has just offically shat on himself but thanks for commenting seriously" Francis

[Guest Ace309]

Amazing, AMAZING promo. I loved all the references (OHIP, for example) and it was very well-written and added character depth. Intensely entertaining.

[Guest Ironman]

 

+1