Guest TheHulkster Report post Posted July 27, 2002 Spike Dudley goes on a massive losing streak (hard to believe, I know), and goes into a deep depression wondering if he has what it takes any more. He sits down and decides that there is no place in the WWE for a wrestler of his stature, effectively quitting the WWE. Right when he is about to leave the locker room, Flash Funk appears before him. He gives them a long spiel about how he can change it all around for the little old Spike. He gives Funk a long blank stare and finally asks "How?" Funk presents him with the cheesiest looking toy gun ever, which is dubbed "The Funk-laser". Funk then disappears without telling him how to use it or why he came. The next week on Raw, Spike is getting his ass handed to him in a match against Shawn Stasiak. All hope appears to be lost for spike, so he rolls to the outside to grab "The Funk-laser", which he conviniently placed under the ring. He aims it at the man formerly known as Meat, and fires. The usually stellar production crew produce the world's cheesiest laser shot special effect since late 60's B-movies and Stasiak begins to dance like it's 1976. Spike rolls him up and pins him, but even after the match is over, Stasiak is still getting down. Security has to drag him from the ring. Coach interviews him while he is being escorted from the building, and instead of a usual Stasiak promo, he starts talking jive. The next week on Raw, Bubba confronts spike about his stupid toy gun. Bubba tries pulling it out of spike's gym bag to throw it away, but spike grabs it and they struggle over it. It goes off, and hits Bubba. Bubba starts dancing like an extra for Saturday Night Fever. This affects his upcoming match with the Big Show because the man just can't stop busting a move. Spike feels bad for what he did to his brother and doesn't want to see him lose, so he runs out and zaps Show after Show hits Bubba with a choke slam. Suddenly, Show starts getting funky and its a dance off between both Show and Bubba. Security has to remove them both from the ring. The next week on Raw, Eric Bischoff confronts Spike and suspends him from active competition from the WWE. The main event to that night's show is a 20 man battle royal. Spike, bitter at Eric for suspending him, runs out to the ringside area, and turns everyone on the roster into mindless Funk drones. Eric runs out in a fit of rage, but gets zapped too. The next week, he dances to the ring dressed in the world's cheesiest 70's throwback get-up, and changes the name of the Brand to the World Wrestling Funkeration, an eclectic mix of wrestling and dance set to the tune of your favorite Funk songs. He concluded the 48 minutes of Jive talking with his new catchphrase: "Stay cool baby". Under the flashing strobe lights and hip shaking sounds of the greatest funk acts of the 1970's, Spike Dudley, the only free thinking competitor on the roster, runs through everyone on the roster and becomes the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world. The other wrestlers could care less though, because all they want to do is dance. The moral of the story: Drugs, Wrestling message boards, and Parliment Funkadelic don't mix. Stay clean kids! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Drury37 Report post Posted July 27, 2002 RATINGS BABY YEAH!!! Have this: Shane marries Steph and fued with Triple H. Steph finds out she is knocked up but doesn't know if its Shane or Trips. 9 months of fueding later the kid is born. The kid comes out to be black. Booker runs into the hospital to yell can you dig it. Trips and Shane have their blow off match that night, Booker comes over the titantron to yell "SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!". And fueds with Shane over knocking up Steph. Steph turns on shane and joins booker T. Steph then goes on a screaming rampage about Trips and Shane while booker just endlessly does the spinoroonie. Later on Booker T and Stephanie break up and Stephanie says that Booker T wasn't that good in the bed room and Booker T responds with tell me you didn't just say that and he responds with you weren't that good of a sucka(er),sucka!!!Another thing would be you have a match for the WWE Undisputed Title between The Rock,RVD and Brock Lesnar and it's a Three Way Dance.You wonder why it is called a Three Way Dance instead of a Triple Threat Match,and you just think oh well maybe they are just calling it something different.So match begins and they all start dancing like Milli Vanilli and Paul Heyman starts singing Girl You Know It's True and they call themselves Brocki VanRocki and they land up feuding with Kurt Angle and they have a match between Brocki VanRocki against Kurt Angle and Two Member of the Truth Commision in the "Battle of True."Another one would be have Jeff Hardy take on Matt Hardy in an Inferno Match but instead of calling it an Inferno Match they call it a Flaming Homo Match and Goldust is the Special Guest Referee. Thanks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ravenbomb Report post Posted July 27, 2002 man, I didn't think this'd get to 2 pages... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest netslob Report post Posted July 28, 2002 The next week on Raw, Spike is getting his ass handed to him in a match against Shawn Stasiak. All hope appears to be lost for spike, so he rolls to the outside to grab "The Funk-laser", which he conviniently placed under the ring. He aims it at the man formerly known as Meat, and fires. The usually stellar production crew produce the world's cheesiest laser shot special effect since late 60's B-movies and Stasiak begins to dance like it's 1976. Spike rolls him up and pins him, but even after the match is over, Stasiak is still getting down. didn't they do that on an episode of the "Simpsons"? Mrs. Krabapple: "Can't...stop...doing...'THE MONKEY'!!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Michael Joel Benoit Report post Posted July 28, 2002 Yep. The episode in which Homer gives up beer. I have to say that that story is the funniest so far. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Trivia247 Report post Posted July 28, 2002 Hiring every former WWF wrestler from the 80's not currently Crippled or Dead and Make all the younger Talent job to them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Drury37 Report post Posted July 28, 2002 Hiring every former WWF wrestler from the 80's not currently Crippled or Dead and Make all the younger Talent job to them. Imagine the crowd reaction when Harley Race would defeat RVD. Thanks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest saturnmark4life Report post Posted July 29, 2002 HARLEY~! the 5* frog splash is no match for the OLD SKOOL HEADBUTTS OF DEATH~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Drury37 Report post Posted July 29, 2002 Yeah and then Don Muracho would defeat The Rock. Thanks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ravenbomb Report post Posted July 29, 2002 Jake Roberts vs. Raven~! I would be so torn on that match. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JBwwenjaj Report post Posted July 29, 2002 Hmm I got one... Courtney Cox Arquete(/w David Arquete - trainer, manager) WWE Undisputed Champion.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest kingkamala Report post Posted July 29, 2002 Hiring every former WWF wrestler from the 80's not currently Crippled or Dead and Make all the younger Talent job to them. Same situation WCW had from Late 94 on Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Downhome Report post Posted July 29, 2002 Give Madusa the Cruiserweight title! Errr... ...give the world title to David Arquete! Ummm... ...hatch an egg damnit, do it! Ermmm... ...let Ric Flair do magic tricks! Damnit... ...make an old lady give birth, TO A HAND! Ok, this is getting hard... ...sacrafice wrestlers on symbols! Has that been done... ...place RoboCob and Chucky in angles, yeah! *sigh*... ...it seems all the bad ones are taken. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Shaved Bear Report post Posted July 29, 2002 hey chucky=ratings really shitty movies Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Downhome Report post Posted July 29, 2002 hey chucky=ratings really shitty movies Hey, have you ever seen the Chucky midget wrestler. He dresses up and looks just like the doll, same size and everything. He = really shitty matches, so they have shitty in common, thus making him that much more realistic. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ravenbomb Report post Posted August 28, 2002 THE CHEAT SAYS I AM THE ONE WHO IS BUMPING THIS THREAD!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest WrestlingDeacon Report post Posted August 28, 2002 On EWR as the NWA I picked up John Cena and renamed him Commodore Dropkick. I then got Barry Horowitz and renamed him Virtuous Mega-Face Dude. I also picked up Disco Inferno and had him create his own title, the Trans-Atlantic Boogie Belt. For an angle idea, Dusty Rhodes uses his position as a consultant with the WWE to get back on t.v. for one last punking of Ric Flair, where he reforms the 4 Horsemen comprised of the Shock Master, the Ding Dongs and Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker. Flair naturally flips out and goes "crazy" again, this time reverting to the Black Scorpion and he joins forces with a returned Papa Shango to turn the whole fed into roosters. But Vince moves all operations to Mexico where they stage Monday Night Cockfights, where all the roosters are dressed like the former WWE stars. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rob E Dangerously 0 Report post Posted August 28, 2002 Buddy Young, the most confused preacher in Wrestling! I used Young, as a Priest with a collar (with taking off the collar as a sign of his finisher), a Reverend, a religious guy who supposedly got head from a prostitute dressed as an Alter Boy (for one ICW show) His finishers: The Hail Mary, The Leap of Faith, The Buddy Cutter. Anyways, Buddy would come to the WWE and team up with D-Von as the "Apostles". But, Buddy would come out to either organ music or "God Hates Us All" (Slayer). This leads to Buddy and D-Von breaking up. Buddy then goes on to get a ho train of girls dressed as Catholic boys or something. Just to make it more creepy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest dreamer420 Report post Posted August 28, 2002 bring back brutus beefcake to the wwe and then give hogan the book. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Redhawk Report post Posted August 29, 2002 -- Paul Bearer reveals that he is the Dudley Boyz' father. -- Vince reveals that he shot JR. -- Bull Buchanan starts playing "Stone Coldberg," parodies of Steve Austin and Goldberg rolled into one. -- Tank Abbott is hired by WWE and given 20 minutes to wrestle Albert on the next PPV. -- Kane announces that he was never really burned, and that it was all a plot to screw Undertaker. And Paul Bearer is not really his father...Undertaker is! -- The Rock goes off to shoot another movie...Leonard Part 8. -- Vin Diesel wins the WWE Undisputed title during a tag match pitting Vin & Taker against Brock Lesnar and HHH. -- Eric Bischoff disguises himself as "Masked Superstar IV," challenges Lesnar for the WWE title on Smackdown, wins the belt, and brings it back to RAW. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest DerangedHermit Report post Posted August 29, 2002 - The Nudists' Club is started. It has Bubba, Big Show, Viscera, Asya, 1997 Chyna, Mae Young, Moolah, Vince McMahon, Paul Bearer, Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone, Hulk Hogan, Mark Henry, Sammy, Ric Flair, Rikishi, Jeff Hardy (complete with makeup), Jim Ross and HHH. They all have sex with each other in the ring. - All WWE programming consists of a 2 hour solo of Stephanie McMahon singing opera (the camera can't see her from the neck down). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest kane3212321 Report post Posted August 29, 2002 WWE changes it's format, from wrestling to a mix of wrestling and musical!!!! Can you imagine from HHH's "I'm really a lonely guy" to Jericho's "Glass Ceiling Blues" and Angle's rap song "Mid card 4 life" this would draw ratings galore Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Frank_Nabbit Report post Posted March 16, 2004 Viscera d. Benoit @ 0:12 for WWE Undisputed Championship @ Mania 20. Thank God that didn't happen Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes Report post Posted March 16, 2004 Viscera d. Benoit @ 0:12 for WWE Undisputed Championship @ Mania 20. Thank God that didn't happen Holy crap. He said he'd be in the World Title Match at WM XX. And he was! AND HE WON!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest La Marka Report post Posted March 18, 2004 Well I did come up with it in the Wrestling link game, but how about Hardcore Holly, Xanta Claws and the Christmas Creature form a Holiday-Themed stable? Re-name Holly's "Best Drop Kick in the Business" the "Missile Toe" [sic]! Book Billy Kidman as a monster heel, and make every worker sell his moves like they were hit by a Mack Truck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Mandarin 0 Report post Posted March 18, 2004 Rene Dupree and Rob Conway turn on worthless Sylvan Grenier leading up to Kennel from Hell 2- Dupree vs. Grenier with french poodles surrounding the ring. O/T: Holy shit, has Drury37 been doing the "Thanks" routine THAT long? Damn. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted March 18, 2004 Vince McMahon - Crack Smokin' Hobo. Christian goes on a spiritual quest...returns with the name "Daoist" Matt Hardy becomes suddenly updated with snazzier graphics, a pop-up blocker, and spam filter... thus becoming Matt Hardy Version 1.2 Rhyno gets hit in the head so hard that he believes he is Scooby Doo. Every time Paul Heyman asks if anyone knows what is going on, he looks over and says "Rhy know! Rhy Know!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MikeSC Report post Posted March 18, 2004 Matt Hardy becomes suddenly updated with snazzier graphics, a pop-up blocker, and spam filter... thus becoming Matt Hardy Version 1.2 I'm actually waiting for the first Hardy feud where his opponent does pop-ups during his entrance to annoy him. -=Mike Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted March 18, 2004 i'm waiting for him to tell the world that "millions of people download him every day" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mosaicv2 Report post Posted March 18, 2004 I bet this is goin to the classic folder Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
