For those who have worked fast food......

[Guest NoCalMike]

Well I worked at McDonalds, and some of the best moments involved the manager at night(I closed) would buy us beer that we would drink while we cleaned the grill and lobby. We would be buzzed to hell while mopping. Another manager I think dealt drugs because he would send everyone not in "the know" to the back of the place to wash dishes whenever a certain guy showed up......Another time Two girls that worked there, one was on duty the other one showed up started brawling in the lobby, some idiot customer told me to call 911, I just stood there with my friend and watched them fight. It was cool. Nothing beat working fast food for the pure drama, the money just sucked though......

[Guest redbaron51]

I have nothing exciting to tell you

[Guest Incandenza]

Two Scenes from Burger King, circa 1997

 

1. Cold items were stored in the freezer/fridge combo, with vegetables and such going in the front half--the fridge part--and hamburger patties, fries, etc, stored in the back half freezer part. One day, "Joe"--I am restraining from using his real name, for obvious reasons--was asked to mop out the fridge. Being not very bright, Joe mopped the floor of BOTH the fridge and the freezer. None of us were paying any attention to him, so we did not know what he was doing at the time. Not too long after he was done, a manager asked him to go get some more fries, and Joe, being an excitable fellow (and, in all seriousness, suffering from some sort of brain damage that none of us could determine the exact extent of), ran merrily to the back, and followed his jaunt with a loud THUD. We went over to the freezer and saw Joe stretched out on the floor, looking more dazed than usual. The floor had iced over; Joe was okay, fortunately, just a little shaken. Still, he had to fill out an accident report, because no one was too sure that he hadn't hit his head. Joe claimed he had not, but you could never be too careful with that guy.

 

2. I was working the kitchen with "Jim"--another false name, and this one with very good reason--one night, when a customer, who had previously ordered a fish sandwich, brought her item back to the cashier, stating that said item was "cold as hell," and that she wanted another one, dropped fresh. Jim, who had made that fish sandwich himself, was insulted by the lady's claim, seeing as how the fish patty had only been sitting under the heat lamp for a minute at the time he made it. Regardless, the customer is always right, so Jim set about making another one. He dropped a new patty into the fry vat and waited the four-and-a-half minutes it took for it to cook. While this was going on, we could hear the customer complain about how long it was taking to make the damn thing, and that she didn't have time for this; this was increasingly irritating to Jim. When the fish was done, he took it out of the fry vat and set it aside, so that he could prepare the bun by licking both sides--interior, not exterior. He then took the fish patty and licked every inch of it before putting it down on the saliva-covered bun. As he reached for the tartar sauce, he realized that the fish patty was missing that certain something, so he spat right on the open-faced sandwich for good measure (the idea of whipping out his johnson and giving the fish sandwich some gentle cock caresses did not occur to him until after the fact, sadly). He then slathered on some tartar sauce, wrapped up the sandwich, and sent it up front. It was then given to the customer, who ate it without protest.

[Guest Shaved Bear]

one of the workers at wendy's tried to take a shit in the chili, but he didnt get away with it

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

Fudge, I got a million of these stories...

 

Incan, did your friend use detergent on sandwiches? I have in the past (the powdered stuff, not liquid) and you can put just enough on sandwiches so that they can't see it (mayo) or taste it.

 

And I hated making those damn fish sandwiches because they took nearly 5 minutes to cook (onion rings only took like 80 seconds). Of course working the speciality grill on Good Friday (fellow BKers will know what I'm talking about) is probably the fifth level of hell.

[Guest Incandenza]

Fudge, I got a million of these stories...

 

Incan, did your friend use detergent on sandwiches? I have in the past (the powdered stuff, not liquid) and you can put just enough on sandwiches so that they can't see it (mayo) or taste it.

 

And I hated making those damn fish sandwiches because they took nearly 5 minutes to cook (onion rings only took like 80 seconds). Of course working the speciality grill on Good Friday (fellow BKers will know what I'm talking about) is probably the fifth level of hell.

No, I was a pretty good employee. The worst thing I ever did was simply remove the unwanted items from a messed-up order, rather than go to the trouble of making it again (but we all do that). And the saliva story is the most disgusting thing that I personally witnessed. The BK I worked at was a fairly well-run ship.

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

"No, I was a pretty good employee. The worst thing I ever did was simply remove the unwanted items from a messed-up order, rather than go to the trouble of making it again (but we all do that)."

 

Oh you wild and crazy guy...

 

"And the saliva story is the most disgusting thing that I personally witnessed. The BK I worked at was a fairly well-run ship."

 

Doesn't sound like much fun. There was also the time I went in the back put my hands down my pants, among other places, and fixed a stupid customer's order that they ordered wrong and then used f-bombs when our cashier brought it out to him.

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

I was working at McDonalds doing a breakfast shift one time and I cracked an egg and blood came out. Not just a lot of egg with a bit of blood, I'm talking a lot off blood with little egg. I served it, though......

[Guest MaxPower27]

I remember when I worked at McD's for about a week:

 

The grill people were having a rough time, for some reason, so the manger (we called her Miss Cleo, that psychic lady, because she sounded exactly like her) came over and started screaming at us, because we messed up an order. So then, she loses it, basically shoves us all aside, and starts making all of the food herself. So me, being the fool I was, went to the front to get a soda. I got written up for that blunder.

 

Does Dunkin Donuts count as fast food?

[Guest crandamaniac]

Ok, back when I worked at DQ, we had an owner who was a real cheapskate. He was a cheap bastard who hated the kitchen crew. He didn't want us working one minute past close. So to get everything cleaned up in time, we would have to turn off the grill 30 mins before close. We was on our last order, and ended up with 1 burger left over after the order. Then the lady (who ordered a double cheeseburger) came back to the counter to tell us she did not want Mustard on her burger.

 

The server who I'll call "Shawn" came to the back to tell us that. I told him we didn't have enough burgers to make another double cheeseburger, so Shawn grabbed a bun, the fresh patty, opened up the old burger, grabbed a patty, washed the patty in the sink, put the burger together, and sent it back out to the unsuspecting customer

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

okay...so it's late at night....snowing...and this middle-aged guy and his 20 something year old son come in to eat....and they are in a hurry but since it's late...we are cooking-to-order...so I tell him it's gonna be a few minutes and they are fine with that.

 

So the middle-aged guy wants to know if there is a payphone. I say "yeah...outside by that piece of junk car(my car)" and he goes out and comes back in about a minute later.

 

so then we start talking about the kinda bad weather and driving in it...and he asks me what kind of car I have. So I say "that piece of junk out by the payphone"

 

he looks at me and says "i didn't wanna tell anybody this...but there is a naked women in your car..."

 

and so I quip back "why don't you tell your wife to come inside cause it's cold out there"

 

okay...his son DIES laughing and he doesn't get the joke. So I start apoligizing and his son kinda whispers it in his ear...and he just looks at me while I'm apoligizing and then HE starts laughing and saying "oh...that's okay" and we all have a good laugh while I FINALLY get his food ready...

 

 

BEST. MOMENT. EVER.

[Guest redbaron51]

Last night I was working on front cash at Wendy's. This was during the supper rush, and the guy wanted a triple combo. I told him he will have to wait a few minutes, since none of the meat is done right now, and that I'll hand it to him once it is done. He wanted to know why and I told him that there are many orders through take out and plus inside so you have to wait. His reply. "I was coming in to order a triple, and when I got here, I expect it to be here right now." Knowing this I told him, it'll be a few minutes, and you will have to wait for it like the other customers. Well then he starts to get all lippy at me, telling that I should be back there helping out. Still waiting for his damn burger our Manager comes out if there is any problem, the asshole says he's waiting for his burger, and by that time its finish. With a nice sarcastic smile and saying "Have a good day" he leaves the restaurant and throws the triple at the window. I asked my friend Bob (fake name) what made him do that, he said all the trouble you were having...i put old cold chili meat for his beef.

 

That same night doing dishes, Bob splashes me with water...when he came back, he dodged out of the way, and nailed our manager from behind with cold water. I got written up, but i couldn't stop laughing

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

Hahaha, great stories. You got written up? Shoot, I just got fired from my jobs.

 

One time when I worked at a convenience store some bitch was giving me a hard time because she had to wait in line until I got done punching up some old bag's lottery tickets. As I was counting her change out for her order she quipped "you can count," turned around in a hurry and left.

 

Dumb bitch left $10 on the counter. Ten dollars that went into my pocket.

 

She came back a few minutes later and demanded her $ back. I said I had no idea what she was talking about. After her bitch-fest, I said that I'm not allowed to give customers money from my register and that she'd have to wait until 6 a.m. when I close out my register. As she called me some not-so-nice names I said "Have a nice night." She said something mean back, to which I replied "Don't get into an accident or anything; it would break my heart."

 

As she pulled out of the lot in a huff, she rear-ended some dude at a red light. As the cops came and were writing the report me and the other cashier were outside laughing the whole time. Damn, karma's a bitch!

[Guest Grenouille]

I don't have that many bad ones. I used to work at a pizza place that had the dirtiest fuckin floor I'd ever seen. Since the staff was a very lazy bunch we used to basically stand around talking. For the most part no one was really all that coordinated so stuff was dropped on the gross floor all the time. Shit like clam cakes, fries, nuggets, onion rings, bread, and the pizza dough itself were dropped on the floor. We enforced a strict 7 second rule. If it had been 7 seconds or less it was still servable.

[Guest Kinetic]

I'm seriously the best employee anyone could possibly ask for. I don't do anything wrong. As such, I've been Employee of the Month (June of 2001) and was briefly promoted, prior to quitting McDonald's for the second of three times. I certainly wouldn't spit in anyone's food and if I saw someone else doing it, I'd promptly pistol-whip their ass. No one deserves that shit.

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

When I worked at a theater with a staff of around 25-30, which included working concession, I was employee of the mounth three times in an 18-month period.

 

Of course I got three formal complaints lodged against me by customers, but that's another story.

[Guest NoCalMike]

I can't believe some of you were "written up" while working Fast Food, especially the closing crew. I always had the coolest managers on night crew and we just partyed and messed around all the time.

[Guest Razor Roman]

I used to work at a movie theater, where we used to try to entertain ourselves. :-)

 

First, when offering "buttery topping" to customers, we would hold the bag of popcorn near the butter dispensing machine and quickly say "Goat semen?" to the customer. 9 out of 10 times they would say "Um, sure." and we would put butter on the popcorn. The other 1 time, people would say "What?" and we would say to them (as if they were deaf) "Butter. Do - you- want - butter- on - your-popcorn???"

 

Then they would feel like they were crazy because the just KNEW they had been offered Goat Semen.

[Guest hardyz1]

I certainly wouldn't spit in anyone's food and if I saw someone else doing it, I'd promptly pistol-whip their ass. No one deserves that shit.  

 

Sure they do.

[Guest Shaved Bear]

I used to work at a movie theater, where we used to try to entertain ourselves. :-)

 

First, when offering "buttery topping" to customers, we would hold the bag of popcorn near the butter dispensing machine and quickly say "Goat semen?" to the customer. 9 out of 10 times they would say "Um, sure." and we would put butter on the popcorn. The other 1 time, people would say "What?" and we would say to them (as if they were deaf) "Butter. Do - you- want - butter- on - your-popcorn???"

 

Then they would feel like they were crazy because the just KNEW they had been offered Goat Semen.

hey that was you that did that!!!!!

[Guest cdstunner66]

I wasn't fast food, but I used to do deliveries for Bertucci's Restaurant years ago. Once I went on a delivery, when I got there, the guy looked at the order of cheese ravioli for his kid and said to me that his son wouldn't eat it if he saw cheese on it. Mind you, it was CHEESE ravioli. So, since it was my last day, I took back the container, shook it up so the grated cheese melted into the sauce and handed it back to him. I said something along the lines of "Well, now your kid can't see the CHEESE in his CHEESE ravioli. Now I should get an extra tip for solving your little problem." Good thing it was my last night, cause that guy called the manager and screamed like there was no tomorrow.

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

"When offering "buttery topping" to customers, we would hold the bag of popcorn near the butter dispensing machine and quickly say "Goat semen?" to the customer. 9 out of 10 times they would say "Um, sure."

 

Funny, this dude I worked with at my movie theater would always say "fuck you" instead of "thank you" at the end of an order, and the customers NEVER noticed.

[Guest Zack Malibu]

Let's see:

 

While working at my cousin's bakery one 4th of July, he and I scared the shit out of the night shift guys by setting firecrackers off in the place. They honestly thought that someone was shooting at the bakery, lol.

 

One night we also had a huge bread fight. I was po'd that my ex at the time wouldn't get back with me, and one of the guys (a friend of my cousin who I grew up around) was teasing me about it. Being in no mood, I cursed him out, my cousin told the guy to stop bringing it up, but he didn't realize his busting me up was pissing me off, so he kept it up. My cousin sees this, and hums a hard roll at the back of the guy's head. He turns around, and he and my cousin start having a Jedi duel with the French bread, then it winds up in a roll tossing disaster.

 

While working at McDonalds, I had night managers who threw parties in the store afterwards. I mean actual parties, consisting of music, alcohol, you name it, and never got caught. Even the night janitor, who was the brother in law of the store manager, came, and he'd get wrecked too.

 

If it was during a promotional giveaway or something, we were notorious for stacking up on Monopoly game pieces, or free coupons, or heaven forbid it was one of the cash giveaways.

 

While it wasn't at work, one of our managers got married, and only certain people got invited to it, me being one of them. One of our coworkers got piss drunk (open bar), nearly fell asleep in his soup. We took him to the bathroom, and he started falling asleep on the urinal, even slumping down on the guys shoulder next to him. With this idiot in bad shape, we were laughing it up, but knew we had to get him out of there. We took him outside, where we heard him going "Mmmfffmph" as if he was going to puke. We dropped him right there, watched him yak, took his keys, threw him into the back of his own car, and drove him home. He yakked all over the back of his own car, but me and my buddy that drove him home hopped in our other friends car and went back to the wedding, where we recieved a heroes welcome for getting that slob out of there.

 

There's more stories, but nothing too serious, and not a lot of screwing with customers on my end. There were a few times where jokes, etc. got out of hand, but I'm a good kid and they knew that, so they always refrained.

 

Suckers

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

I work at a video store in Canada called Rogers Video, which is basically a Canadian version of Blockbuster, even though we have those too.

 

I always end up getting the superior dickhead customers dealing with late charges. Memo to all of you who return late movies: 98% of the time you are always late! Yeah, there is a 2%margin of error, but it's an unlikely 2%. People always confuse us with Blockbuster, who's return time is 10 am and it annoys the fuck out of me. I've had 2 formal complaints lodged with head office because I'm normally such a dick when it comes to late charges. You wouldn't believe how many customers I've refused rental to because they said it wasn't late.

 

My boss talked to us about that at our last staff meeting and said to us, "We can all improve on stuff, I didn't see anybody do perfect on their review," and I coughed and muttered " 24 out of 25", which was what I got on my last review. Lucky she didn't hear me....

[Guest Mattdotcom]

Once, an old man claimed I didn't give him back his change, so I drowned him in the fryer. Good times. *

 

*Mattdotcom has never worked, unless working on lies counts.

[Guest MaxPower27]

Man, now on to my Dunkin Donuts stories:

 

1-Me and Greg were closing one night, and it was aobut 1030PM. Bored as hell, we had already emptied out the donut/bagel/food display, vacuumed, etc. We were about to mop, but he said he had a great idea. If you knew Greg, you'd probably be scared too, as he was, to say it nicely, a bit off. He runs over to the cooler, grabs 10 mini-orange juices, and 2 mini-chocolate milks. He sets the orange juices up like bowling pins, takes off his headset, and bowls one of the chocolate milks like a bowling ball as hard as he could. There was a minor juice explosion and the drive thru register, drive thru coffee station, regular coffee station, Greg, and myself were now covered in chocolate milk/orange juice. We played a few more frames, until, in Greg's words, "Fuck, kid, we're out of OJ". We were asked by the manager and owner what happened, but we just said that some stoned kids had come in and there was a run on OJ.

 

2-Another graveyard shift for myself and Greg, and again it was slow. It was near Thanksgiving, so there were some drunk drivers out. We were cleaning, and all of a sudden, we hear the screech of brakes rush by our drive thru window, and slam into a parked car of one of our cooks. Greg yells out the window, "Hey, buddy, the Drive thru is over here!" The driver flipped us off and peeled out. Guess you had to be there for that one.

 

3-During one of my 5AM to midnight sundays, father's day to be exact, a customer came through drive thru, and ordered our last 6 jelly sticks. She insisted that they had to be plain, no sugar on them. As Tim was putting the 6th into the box, it fell into the trash can! He looks at me, with his stupid grin, picks it up, I see that it's covered in coffee grounds, it looks disgusting. So, he brushes it off, and puts it back in the box, shuts it, and tapes it VERY well. The driver payed and drove off. I wonder if they enjoyed that special of the day.

 

There are many more, but I have to remember them all.

[Guest alfdogg]

I was working at McDonalds doing a breakfast shift one time and I cracked an egg and blood came out. Not just a lot of egg with a bit of blood, I'm talking a lot off blood with little egg. I served it, though......

Hey, you gave them their daily dose of iron.

 

They can't bitch about that.

 

Anyway, I could probably come up with roughly 200 of these stories, because I worked three years at McDonald's, and was a manager for about nine months.

 

One that sticks in my mind was when we were flinging rubber bands at each other. Well, one of them ended up in someone's quarter pounder, and he came back and complained, simply saying "that's not even funny."

 

Well, a couple nights later, his lawyer calls on the phone and asks me what happened. I told him everything, and he just laughed about it. I never heard about it again.

 

You could get away with murder at that store (not in the literal sense, obviously, but you get the point). I remember watching a whole Cubs game on my break (which was only supposed to be 15 minutes), people smoking weed on their break and numerous other things.

[Guest alfdogg]

I can't believe some of you were "written up" while working Fast Food, especially the closing crew. I always had the coolest managers on night crew and we just partyed and messed around all the time.

Same here.

 

But I did get wrote up once for writing profanity on the crew lockers.

[Guest redbaron51]

damn i could never get away with that for some of our managers, if i'm working day, they're fuckin nazi's i tell you.

 

night shifts are awesome.

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

"I've had 2 formal complaints lodged with head office because I'm normally such a dick when it comes to late charges. You wouldn't believe how many customers I've refused rental to because they said it wasn't late."

 

What the hell are you supposed to do with them? Of course, if you would let people who return tapes late rent more w/out paying the charge you'll get bitched at by mgt. anyway.

 

Speaking of late charges, I went in a BB some time back with 2 late movies. The better half was supposed to return them b4 church, but she forgot, so I had to go and pay the late fee. Anyway, while paying it I said to the clerk that my better half forgot to do it, and that someone was getting a beating tonight.

 

I thought it was funny. He, and the manager chick behind him, didn't.