Phil Schneider's workrate report

[Guest Brian]

Dang that was about as solid and fun of a show that RAW has put out since I started doing these reports. Sure too much talking and every match could have been about a third longer, but shit I didn’t hate most of this stuff

 

What Worked

 

-Ladder match was a whole bunch of big ass bumps jammed in 8 minutes. They kind of threw this out there with no build, but both guys looked pretty good. RVD is on a mini hot streak with me as this is the third match in a row I enjoyed. That bump by Hardy off the ladder was pretty fucking nuts, although not as nuts as what ever the hell he was trying to do with lighter fluid and a busted table in the mask v. title OMEGA match. Hardy has a good body for taking bumps, and he has been doing worse longer so I don’t hate this as much as I did when they were sticking Eddie in these things. Although I don’t know what they do with Hardy now.

 

-I kind of dug the intergender match, Molly and Trish are both good, and Bubba inexplicably like all ECW vets did a great job selling the arm. I also dug cockish Regal beating up Trish. Kind of useless match, but I enjoyed it enough, but I am a Regal fanboy so it doesn’t take much. Hey the could bring back Finlay to defend Trish! That would be a great idea! They should do that! GIMME FINLAY

 

-Eddie did a great job with his promo piece. That was about as good an unstable heel promo as I have seen since 1989 Terry Funk, when he started going nuts about the poster he made a silly scenario into something compelling. Eddie may not have funny catchphrases or alot of comic timing, but he may be the best promo guy in the WWE at getting intensity and hate across in a Sports Entertainment context. I thought he made that dipshit Karaoke skit work, and he made this work big time. Plus his mike segments set up matches I want to see, which makes them work for me.

 

-Tommy Dreamer is a fine guy to feed to Lesner. He will take an ass whipping, is kinda sorta over, and does hope spots well. I never really cared for Dreamer in ECW, but have really enjoyed him since, he should have bled again. He should be doing huge blade jobs every week. Shit that got Tommy Rich the world title (well bleeding and the other thing, and we all know Tommy has that covered.)

 

-We all know Beniot and Booker have a better match in them, but that will still some good stuff. Beniot is still a little rusty, but rusty Beniot is still better then damn near everyone in the world. This was shorter then even the Thunder match in their Best of 7 series, but had alot of fun stuff in it. The injury was done well, and let Beniot go over clean without hurting Booker. Fuck RVD v. Beniot, gimme this a bunch more times.

 

-Fuck me running Eddie Guerrero v. Rock was awesome. I honestly can’t remember a Rock match I enjoyed more. Eddie is just so on right now, he has an extra 6 inches of height on every move he takes, and all of his movements are so crisp and fast. I also loved how he smartly used chinlocks and the figure four headscissors to pace the match so by the time the awesome nearfalls sequence came the crowd was totally molten. The section from the Rock Bottom reversal to the missed frogsplash was amazing stuff. I thought Eddie should have gone over, cause I want to see this a million zillion more times, but I can’t complain about a match that good.

 

What Didn’t Work

 

-Jesus are Bischoff and Micheals doing the Vagina Monolagues or something? Shut the fuck up already. I did think the Micheals and HHH backstage segment was really romantic though, I thought they were gonna make out.

 

-The 3 minute match thing wasn’t even an accurate shoot. It is Bischoff, he wasn’t afraid to have Wrath and Damien wrestle for 14 minutes on TV. He wasn’t exactly a taskmaster for time.

 

-Spike Dudley should have taken a bump or something so I would care about the Big Show match.

 

-HHH is no Paul Diamond, so I can’t really get excited about Micheals v. Helmsely. Maybe Lance Cade could come in and feud with HHH, I could get into that maybe. HHH v. Rudy Boy Gonzalzes might be okay. Man did that DX stuff look dated though, I was watching a Freebirds promo last night and that seemed alot more current and relevant then the DX stuff, I guess Red Wine ages slower then Ripple.