Serious Japanese Wrestlers, Part Deux

[Guest The Czech Republic]

A while there was talk about WWE being incredibly xenophobic when it came to Japanese wrestlers in the fed. Funaki, Tajiri, and TAKA were all portrayed as either always nodding and smiling (Funaki) or scowling and performing martial arts kicks (Tajiri). Of course, they never talk, because they don't speak English.

 

If WWE decides to rehire Jimmy Yang, who is from Georgia I believe, I think it would be funny to have a backstage skit that buries the notion that all wrestlers of Asian descent are stereotypes.

 

 

So lets say Jimmy Yang bumps into Kurt Angle.

 

Kurt: Oh hi there, little guy! Or should I say "konichi-wa?" I'm Kurt Angle. I'm an Olympic gold medallist. (bows to Yang, who offers a handshake but pulls it back as Angle is bowing) Hey, what are you trying to do, a karate chop? In your culture it's customary to bow to one another. But tell you what. I know it's tough to adjust to American culture, and especially to learn the English language. I seen people really butcher it before. It's sad, really. Anytime you need help translating, I'm here to help you out.

 

Yang: I think I'll do fine, sir, but thanks anyway.

 

Kurt: I love how "honalable" you guys are! So, where in Japan are you from?

 

Yang: I'm from Atlanta.

 

Kurt: Wow! What a small world! You see, there's also a city here in Georgia, which is sorta like a prefecture for you folk, and its name is Atlanta too! Woulda thunk it, right?

 

Yang: But, see, I am from---

 

Kurt: You know, your English isn't as bad as I thought! I know what a high literacy rate your country has...I'm not surprised you picked it up so quickly.

 

Yang: I really have to go, I have a match to get ready for...

 

Kurt: Okay, I'll let you go. I love that poo-ro-ress-ooh that you guys do. Well, "domo arigato" for letting me meet you! That's Japanese for thank you, you know.

 

Yang: Right. Nice meeting you too, Kurt.

 

(Angle walks away, and Yang looks around, then looks right into the camera)

 

Yang: What an asshole.

 

---

[Guest MrRant]

That would work as a neat little backstage skit. Only unfortunate part is that it shows that one can speak english and reinforces the face that the others can't. It would be funny as hell though.

[Guest The Czech Republic]

Well, can they all speak English? Funaki's isn't too good.

[Guest Nevermortal]

FNK!

[Guest Dace59]

Funaki's english will be fine, living in Texas and all.

 

I think Tajiri speaks Japanese English and Spanish (which he did his only ever ECW promo in, if my triva is right)

 

A lot of new bloood in Japanese wrestling seems to be more Americanised than ever.

 

Guys in T2P look like "cool/surfer dudes"

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

Tajiri had a speaking role in the promo at ECW Massacre On 34th Street (I think). Mikey was talking to Tajiri via a boxing nun puppet...

 

Mikey (through boxing nun): Hey Tajiri, do you have any clue where Padre is?

 

Tajiri: (something in Japanese, followed by) I don't know.

 

Mikey (puts down boxing nun): Yeah, man. I don't know where Padre is either...

 

...and then Sinister Minister comes in, and they laugh...

 

I like that Yang promo idea, but keep Yang in NWA:TNA.

[Guest Smeghead]

So lets say Jimmy Yang bumps into Kurt Angle.

 

Kurt: Oh hi there, little guy! Or should I say "konichi-wa?" I'm Kurt Angle. I'm an Olympic gold medallist. (bows to Yang, who offers a handshake but pulls it back as Angle is bowing) Hey, what are you trying to do, a karate chop? In your culture it's customary to bow to one another. But tell you what. I know it's tough to adjust to American culture, and especially to learn the English language. I seen people really butcher it before. It's sad, really. Anytime you need help translating, I'm here to help you out.

 

Yang: I think I'll do fine, sir, but thanks anyway.

 

Kurt: I love how "honalable" you guys are! So, where in Japan are you from?

 

Yang: I'm from Atlanta.

 

Kurt: Wow! What a small world! You see, there's also a city here in Georgia, which is sorta like a prefecture for you folk, and its name is Atlanta too! Woulda thunk it, right?

 

Yang: But, see, I am from---

 

Kurt: You know, your English isn't as bad as I thought! I know what a high literacy rate your country has...I'm not surprised you picked it up so quickly.

 

Yang: I really have to go, I have a match to get ready for...

 

Kurt: Okay, I'll let you go. I love that poo-ro-ress-ooh that you guys do. Well, "domo arigato" for letting me meet you! That's Japanese for thank you, you know.

 

Yang: Right. Nice meeting you too, Kurt.

 

(Angle walks away, and Yang looks around, then looks right into the camera)

 

Yang: What an asshole.

That's gold right there. It goes against the stereotype, and it fits really well with Angle's character.

[Guest the 1inch punch]

Ok, you have to keep why Yang in NWATNA ...why?

 

 

 

FLYING ELVISES!!!!!

[Guest the 1inch punch]

Ok, you have to keep why Yang in NWATNA ...why?

 

 

 

FLYING ELVISES!!!!!

[Guest the 1inch punch]

sorry, double post, im having trouble with my computer

[Guest Vyce]

Who knows how good Funaki's English is? We never hear him talk!!!

 

The guy could have the diction of a Shakespearean actor, we'd never know.

[Guest The Czech Republic]

Who knows how good Funaki's English is? We never hear him talk!!!

 

The guy could have the diction of a Shakespearean actor, we'd never know.

 

Now THAT would be comedy!

 

That or some skit where Rico is saying that Chuck and Billy are the greatest team ever, and Funaki says in a totally clear voice, "You do have a valid point, but in comparison to some of the more technically apt teams such as the Hart Foundation or the Steiner Brothers, your team does have some competition, at least on a historical level. Perhaps this can be traced to their lack of real-life chemistry, which has been found in nearly every successful tag team in WWE history. Indeed!"

[Guest Nezbyte]

Who knows how good Funaki's English is? We never hear him talk!!!

 

The guy could have the diction of a Shakespearean actor, we'd never know.

 

Now THAT would be comedy!

 

That or some skit where Rico is saying that Chuck and Billy are the greatest team ever, and Funaki says in a totally clear voice, "You do have a valid point, but in comparison to some of the more technically apt teams such as the Hart Foundation or the Steiner Brothers, your team does have some competition, at least on a historical level. Perhaps this can be traced to their lack of real-life chemistry, which has been found in nearly every successful tag team in WWE history. Indeed!"

That'd be great.

[Guest Nevermortal]

Tajiri had a speaking role in the promo at ECW Massacre On 34th Street (I think). Mikey was talking to Tajiri via a boxing nun puppet...

 

Mikey (through boxing nun): Hey Tajiri, do you have any clue where Padre is?

 

Tajiri: (something in Japanese, followed by) I don't know.

 

Mikey (puts down boxing nun): Yeah, man. I don't know where Padre is either...

 

...and then Sinister Minister comes in, and they laugh...

 

I like that Yang promo idea, but keep Yang in NWA:TNA.

Oh man...Tajiri & Mikey, the greatest team EVER.