Man Killed by 72-DD Breasts!

[Guest Snappy Nappy Dugout]

Groom Killed By Stripper's Boobs

Wednesday January 16, 2002

 

 

GENEVA - A fun-filled bachelor party at a strip club turned deadly when a 32-year-old groom-to-be who was enjoying the attentions of a well-endowed stripper suffocated while his face was buried in her breasts.

 

The mind-boggling drama unfolded, say cops, while Daniel Greene was attending his bachelor party at the Pretty Kitty strip club.

 

The club had been rented out for the private affair.

 

According to investigators, Greene was enjoying a lap dance when disaster struck: One of the strippers, Kandy Kane, got too into her performance and suffocated the man between her 72-DD breasts.

 

Witnesses said that Greene had had his fair share of beer, but didn't seem out-of-control.

 

When the song "I'm Too Sexy" began to play, Greene became excited and began to dance on the tabletop, hooting and hollering, pals said, "like an idiot."

 

Miss Kane, apparently pleased to see someone enjoying her choice in music, moved in closer.

 

When Greene took his seat, she began giving him a lap dance, shaking her breasts in his face.

 

The more she shook, the deeper Greene got lost in her cleavage.

 

"Daniel was having so much fun," partygoer John Gillman said.

 

"We all thought he loved being in that gal's chest.

 

"Who could have known that when he was waving his hands around, he was signaling for help?"

 

Cheering onlookers eventually realized that Greene was no longer moving, and pulled him from between Miss Kane's breasts.

 

Now Greene's family is suing Miss Kane and the Pretty Kitty for wrongful death.

 

Greene's father, George, won't specify the amount they are suing for, but claims that it isn't about the money.

 

"Those breasts were lethal weapons," he told reporters.

 

"The Pretty Kitty should not have allowed Miss Kane to have her bust enhanced to the size that she did.

 

"We hope that by filing this lawsuit, we can send a message to other strippers: keep your bra size within a reasonable range."

 

Kandy Kane made a statement through her attorneys: "I thought he liked it in there. "

 

The Pretty Kitty declined comment.

 

 

entertainment.yahoo.com/e...20009.html

 

 

I'm sorry, but I can't feel bad about this death.

[Guest Cancer Marney]

Urban myth. This gets reported every few months in a different city. Last time I think it was in Berlin.

[Guest Retro Rob]

"Those breasts were lethal weapons," he told reporters.

That line in particular makes me agree with Marney. ::shudders::

[Guest DragonflyKid]

I remember hearing a story very much like this(With maybe a twist that the guy died by an extreme case of whiplash when he was hit by large breasts.) a long time ago so I doubt it's genuine... Unless there exists an epidemic of men out there dying by being smothered by extremely large breasts that goes unreported, oh yes a conspiracy. Even though I am virtually an anarchist I must propose govenment regulation to keep innocent men from becoming victims of the cruel fate of breast-induced suffocation. This story and stories like it must be brought to the forefront and the perils of insanely large mammaries must be exposed, if not for us then for future generations.

[Guest Shaved Bear]

Darwinism in action

[Guest Daredevil21]

That's an odd way to go, but I just have a question that I'm sure some may take offense to. Isn't this the Current Events folder? This happened almost 8 months ago, and while it may be an interesting read, it's not really current. Besides, PORNFAQ reported this about 6 months ago at *** (that seems to be bad to say around here). Just saying.

 

WDI: You Hear It First

 

Anyway, I remember seeing something on the Daily Show a few years back, that reminds me of this. It was a feature on a stripper (or something like that) and she had supposedly damaged a guy's neck by giving him the Micky Mouse Ears (placing her rack atop his head). Anyone remember that?

[Guest Anglesault]

He died with a smile on his face...

[Guest Some Guy]

Well of all the ways to go, that would be ny choice.

[Guest papacita]

Anyway, I remember seeing something on the Daily Show a few years back, that reminds me of this. It was a feature on a stripper (or something like that) and she had supposedly damaged a guy's neck by giving him the Micky Mouse Ears (placing her rack atop his head). Anyone remember that?

They had a similar case on the People's Court or one of those shows a few years back.

[Guest LooseCannon]

That's an odd way to go, but I just have a question that I'm sure some may take offense to. Isn't this the Current Events folder? This happened almost 8 months ago, and while it may be an interesting read, it's not really current. Besides, PORNFAQ reported this about 6 months ago at *** (that seems to be bad to say around here). Just saying.

 

WDI: You Hear It First

The way you worded this I can't really take issue with you, and whatever, I guess it's not current and I'll agree with you on that too. But the way you go around finding every little mishap on this board, is a little irritating in my opinion. I'm not looking for any drama or anything, but could you just cool it a little bit, and just enjoy the board for what it is? Every time you find something you think is foolish or untimely or isn't being done properly or whatever, you don't have to make comparisons to WDI.

[Guest DrTom]

Definitely an urban myth. Think of how impossible it would be for a pair of tigole bitties to smother someone, and it's easy to see this is made up. Every so often, the city changes, but the details and the cup size are almost always the same.

[Guest Daredevil21]

The way you worded this I can't really take issue with you, and whatever, I guess it's not current and I'll agree with you on that too. But the way you go around finding every little mishap on this board, is a little irritating in my opinion. I'm not looking for any drama or anything, but could you just cool it a little bit, and just enjoy the board for what it is? Every time you find something you think is foolish or untimely or isn't being done properly or whatever, you don't have to make comparisons to WDI.

 

Yeah, I suppose, although most of the times that I've said something faulty about the board, I haven't brought WDI into the matter. I was just showing that this exact thing was posted 6 months ago there, simple as that. WDI has plenty of flaws itself, and I don't deny that at all. All boards have their flaws. I praise something on a board when it's good. When it's bad, I don't turn my head the other way. WDI is working through some things now, and I'd be lying if I said it was all good there at the moment. But hey, I understand that it will all blow over, so I don't mention it.

[Guest Phr33k]

As my contribution to this thread, wouldn't "The Death Boobies" be a good name for a rock band?

[Guest redbaron51]

72 DD...

 

those are huge

[Guest mister foozel]

yeah it's probably BS...

 

so where was the old lady in all of this?

[Guest TheRockIsTheEuropeanChampion]

Here it is on the "Urban Legends Reference" website:

 

Man suffocated by stripper's breasts / Status: false

[Guest wwF1587]

he died in a breast of glory

[Guest Ravenbomb]

WTF?!

A former porn star (now a blues singer) who goes by the name of Candye Kane has a 54G bust

 

Holy Crap!

[Guest Ravenbomb]

!!!!!

In 1998, Paul Shimkonis, a 38-year-old Florida man, sued the Diamond Dolls club, claiming his being buffeted with stripper Tawny Peaks' 60-inch HHH bosom had caused him to suffer whiplash.

 

I guess her boobs are INTENSE~!

[Guest Sebastian_the_Bastard]

Reminds me of the time I fed the dog beer... man, that dog went crazy.

 

 

Anyway, that story is an urban legend, no doubt about it..

 

-Sebastian