rant--Triple H: The Game

[Guest godthedog]

haven't seen any rants or reviews of this around, so i did one myself. beware: this is a long dvd, and i'm pretty long-winded as it is.

 

The feature:

 

We begin with a music video, set to Drowning Pool's version of "The Game." You know how good the WWE's video production team is, so nothing needs to be said.

 

We get clips of various superstars all talking about how great Triple H is. Edge says the famous broomstick rule applies to him.

 

Trips talks about watching wrestling while he was growing up, and in particular his admiration for Ric Flair. As a bonus, we get treated to a post-Smackdown promo where Trips tells Flair how much he means to him and wrestling in general, and it visibly brings Flair to tears.

 

Austin talks about seeing him in WCW and thinking that he'd be big someday. Regal says Trips reminds him of Flair, then talks about telling him to go to the WWF when he had the chance to. The Clique (NOT Kliq...the Kliq was Shawn Michaels's fan base) incident at MSG is covered, where Trips took all the punishment.

 

We skip all of DX and go to 1999 and the semi-shoot interview with Jim Ross where he separates himself from the Clique and DX, and first calls himself the Game. Foley talks about the importance of motivation in a good heel, and that Trips probably took lots of his motivation from being held down after the Clique incident.

 

We get a looooooooong video package about the birth of the McMahon-Helmsley era, culminating in the Trips-Foley feud that led to the Rumble. Foley talks about both of them having something to prove. Foley wanted to go out with a bang, and Hunter wanted it to be the beginning of his greatness. Various other guys talk about Hell in a Cell and Wrestlemania and the iron man match. Foley talks some more, this time about how brave it was for Trips to shed the DX image and start over from scratch. Trips talks about how the WWF has always been a top babyface-oriented company, and how he loved playing the dominant heel role; like Ric Flair, only updated.

 

Useless video package of Triple H's funny comments and practical jokes. The skid mark footage is pretty funny, though.

 

We cover the Summerslam triple threat match, and now Trips and Rocky didn't miss a beat even though Angle got a concussion. That feat was legitimately amazing. From there, various guys (Hebner, Flair, etc) talk about what being a ring general means and how Trips is one.

 

We skip the Austin feud entirely and go to the Undertaker match at Wrestlemania, how much respect each guy has for the other, what an honor it was, blah blah blah.

 

Big segment on the infamous Raw tag match. You know the drill: Trips tore his quad planting his foot, he got put in the Walls of Jericho and finished the match, got carried off. Dr. Andrews talks about some specifics of the tear and the operation, Trips talks about how he stayed at a hotel in Alabama to rehab. He didn't get UPN or TNN at his hotel, so the WWF paid to put a satellite on his balcony so he could watch Raw and Smackdown. He also got all the movie channels, porno, etc. Funny stuff.

 

He talks briefly about the Vengeance promotional fuck-up, then the big return at MSG and how amazing it was. We get LOTS AND LOTS OF FOOTAGE of how the crowd reacted, and it's kind of boring. Listening to Trips talk about how blown away he was by it was kind of cool though.

 

The video is getting more and more detailed, and we go into an extremely long video package of the 2002 Rumble (which I was at). It was really quite an amazing thing, seeing Triple H and hearing the reaction he got, seeing him win the Rumble and believing that this was his big comeback and he was still that damn good.

 

There's a brief detour into Hunter's love of bodybuilding, and we get lots of extremely scary black-and-white shots of him and his inhuman physique.

 

From here Trips stops breaking kayfabe and talks about how his marriage with Stephanie crumbled and how the fans wanted him to get away from her. We get a package of their breakup, and I think, "Dear God, let this be short..." but my prayers go unanswered and, much like a Triple H promo, it goes on forever. One worthwhile moment: when Stephanie wants Hunter to renew their wedding vows the audio and video is very tense and ominous. Then as soon as she announces her pregnancy, everything goes into soft focus, the characters seem to glow, and the music does a complete 180. I found it pretty funny.

 

After that, the video goes into the Jericho-Stephanie alliance. We're at about the 1:00 mark and Jericho is cutting one of his "I demand respect" promos...when I get bored enough with watching to switch the TV to the last 15 minutes of 'Law and Order'. It was an episode I'd seen before, too. That's how bored I was at this point in the DVD. But, to be fair, it was a really good episode. It was about a doctor who helps couples conceive and uses his own semen to fertilize the women, so they're really the doctor's kids and not the fathers' kids.

 

'Law and Order' comes to the close and I switch back to the video at the 1:15 mark, and it looks like they're wrapping up. Various soundbytes of guys saying how professional he is, how great he is, etc. Hebner says he might be his best friend. Coming from a guy who used to be very close friends with Bret Hart, that's a very scary thought. Trips talks about how amazing his career has been, and the whole thing's over.

 

Well, the first half hour was pretty interesting, but all the focus on the comeback and the divorce just killed any interest I had. BARELY worth watching, if you have a fast-forward button.

 

Moving on to extras...

 

Cactus Jack v. Triple H, Royal Rumble streetfight

 

The bell rings, and the champion and the challenger are staring each other down. We start with a slugfest (which nearly every title match since 1998 has started), which Cactus Jack wins. Triple H goes outside to take a quick breather, but Cactus won't let him, running outside and giving him a swinging neckbreaker. Trips takes a little time to recover from that, but while trying to climb back in Cactus legdrops his throat on the bottom rope, which Trips sells with a Flair flop on the outside. Cute. Cactus follows him out and rams his head into the stairs, then rams his head into...something else on the outside (I guess a mic, cause it created a lot of feedback). Trips grabs the ring bell and nails Cactus over the head with it. He throws a chair inside, picks it up, and starts taunting Cactus with it. Cactus appears unfazed by the ring bell shot and, either to prove how tough he is or to prove he's a dumbass, runs right into the chair. Hard. Trips tries to undo the turnbuckle to kill some time, but Cactus has gotten up by now and takes over with a clothesline. On a personal note, that transition was awful. Triple H gives Cactus a chairshot, and Cactus takes back over with a damn clothesline? I don't care how hardcore they were trying to make Foley out to be, no one should have to sell a clothesline longer than his opponent sells a chairshot. Anyway...Cactus maintains control with more punching and does a leg drop with the chair onto Triple H's face for the match's first 2 count. He does some more punching, and Hunter sells like nuts for it. More than Cactus has sold for the entire match. We're back to the outside and Hunter takes over with a running forearm. He charges to the barricade where Cactus now is, but gets back body dropped into the crowd (a spot which, due to some bad timing, was completely broadcasted). They brawl in the crowd and eventually get to the really cool alley part of the set, where Cactus rams Trips into a trash can & a pile of bricks. Hunter has to do the slow sell (acting dazed and defenseless for an inordinate amount of time) while Foley sets up a stack of wooden palattes (sp?), then suplexes him onto it. Ouch. Cactus continues the punishment with a trash can shot to the head and repeatedly ramming Trips into the sheet metal wall. He decides that it's time to take it back into the ring, but Triple H catches him in a belly-to-back suplex onto a trashcan (which, to me, seems less painful than if he'd just suplexed him to the floor; but it makes a cool sound and set pieces get destroyed, so whatever). We can now plainly see that Hunter's calf has a huge gash in it (from the suplex on to the wood). He tries to guide Cactus back to the ring, but Cactus STILL won't stay down, and he regains control with some more punching (how creative). He puts Trips's head against the stairs and punches some more, then gets a running start and buries his knee in Trips's face (while his head is still against the stairs). Trips is back in the ring and Cactus gets a 2x4 in barbed wire. The crowd really comes alive at the sight of this. He runs at Triple H with it, but takes a low blow. Hunter, of course, grabs the 2x4 and gives Foley some shots to the back and stomach with it. Even on offense, Triple H is selling how much pain he's been through, taking his time between shots, acting slightly dazed, having trouble standing up. Foley sneaks in a punch to the stomach and Trips drops the 2x4, allowing Foley to low blow him with it. While he's recovering and trying to gain some momentum the ref puts the 2x4 behind the Spanish announcers' table. Cactus gets a double arm DDT and another 2 count. He realizes the 2x4 is gone, then basically bullies the ref into telling him where it is. So then he goes to the Spanish table, takes the 2x4, and nails one of the announcers just for the hell of it. Back in the ring Triple H charges at him, leading to a ref bump. Cactus hits him in the face with the 2x4, Hunter blades. Cactus drops the 2x4 on his head for another near-fall.

 

When Triple H gets up from this, you can see the blood literally STREAMING down his face. This is the bladejob that inspired the comments from my friends that he looks like the Son of God, so from here on in the match he'll be referred to as Jesus. Jesus tries to gain his composure outside, but Cactus rakes his face with the barbed wire on the way out. Some punches to the forehead follow, trying to open up the cut more. Cactus takes him to the English announcers' table and tries to piledrive him, but gets back body dropped instead (in another spot that was broadcasted, due to how Foley placed himself on the table). Our Lord and Savior has control of the match now but you'd never know it from the look on his face: he's covered in his own blood and barely even knows where he is. He takes Foley back in the ring, does some punches (par for the course tonight) and attempts a pedigree, but Foley slingshots him into the steel post, and on the way down bulldogs him right on to the 2x4. Great spot with the brutality and timing, and the crowd totally buys it as a near fall. The Son of Man gets clotheslined outside, but on a blind charge he hiptosses Foley on to the stairs, knee-first. Then he runs Foley's knee into the stairs again. Foley tries to get away and recover, but gets clipped, then clipped AGAIN when he tries to get back in the ring. He takes two shots to the knee with the 2x4, then Jesus gets...

 

wait for it...

 

the handcuffs.

 

He tries to get the cuffs on Cactus, but Cactus won't let him, and they struggle over control of them. When I saw this match for the first time, this spot really got me thinking about all the different directions they could go from here: Foley could've been cuffed to the ropes, making it almost impossible for him to take over the match offensively...Foley could've cuffed himself to Jesus, and Jesus could've sold it like it scared him shitless...but alas, none of those possibilities come to fruition, as the Lamb cuffs Foley's hands behind his back again, just like the year before. This becomes important later. Cactus manages to mount some offense while in the cuffs, actually making it plausible that he could win the match even though his hands were tied behind his back, but the carpenter from Nazareth kills those chances with a clothesline. He gets a chair and beats on him (absolutely destroying the chair in the process), and Foley appears to be luring Rabbi back toward the alley...the Good Shepherd bashes Cactus again right in the head with the chair, and Cactus completely no-sells it, screaming at Christ to hit him again. That is some scary shit to behold. Cactus is about to get nailed again, when the Rock comes out of nowhere with a chair of his own and levels Willem Defoe with it. That is the single greatest use of interference I've ever seen in a wrestling match, and the only one that actually adds something to the match. It showed how Rocky had come full circle from wanting to kill Mick Foley a year ago to respecting him and saving him from getting his skull caved in. Deep stuff that wrestling usually doesn't even try to do. Anyway, this buys Cactus enough time for a cop to come in and undo the cuffs (a little far-fetched, but okay...), and He Who Died for Our Sins is scared out of his mind. He tries to beg off but Cactus kicks his ass all the way to the Spanish table, where he does a vicious piledriver that looks like it legitimately could've broken the Resurrected One's neck. We're back in the ring, but Cactus doesn't want a cover. He wants...

 

wait for it...

 

the thumbtacks.

 

He gets a huge bag of them (20,000 of them according to the bonus commentary) and spills them all over one corner of the ring. Mary Magdalene (I know the parallel doesn't exactly match, but I don't care) runs to ringside in fear of her husband being killed. Cactus slugs away at the Light of the World, who teases a fall on the tacks. Cactus charges for a clothesline, but instead gets back body dropped on to the tacks. Unnerving shit, but the Son of Man is still selling like his eternal life depended on it, staggering all over the place. He decides that the time to end this match is now, and pedigrees Cactus...and it gets a 2 count. He is pissed and starts yelling at the ref, but he can't even stand up straight (how cool is that? He's selling even while he argues with the ref!). He sees Foley about to get up, and pedigrees him again, this time ON THE THUMBTACKS. It finally gets the 3 count, and the Word Made Flesh collapses in relief as if he's just been through a war, with thumbtacks all over his boots and kneepads. Foley has a handful of thumbtacks sticking into his head.

 

Well, Foley seemed like the weak link here actually. He basically wrestled the last 5 minutes of the match like he wrestled the first 5 minutes (i.e., no visible long-term selling), and at times it felt like he was playing a game of connect-the-spots. Triple H's selling is what really held this match together, without it the match would've been a total clusterfuck. I think the match, while very very good, is not the all-time classic that everyone makes it out to be. It's great for sheer shock value and drama the first time around, but there's not as much to admire on repeated viewings as there should be. ****

 

video commentary on the Rumble

 

The audio commentary, by Triple H and Coach, is mildly interesting. Trips talks in this really weird in-kayfabe-one-minute-out-the-next way, talking about how dangerous Cactus Jack is and then talking about what an honor it was for Foley to put him over. There's a few funny moments, one of which is when Trips makes fun of Coach for calling a drop toe hold a "leg drag." But the video for this is totally useless, because it's just these two guys sitting there watching the match. Total waste of space. Why not just put another match in, like Trips/Jericho from Fully Loaded?

 

unaired MadTV sketch

 

There's a reason this was left unaired. It goes on way too long and it's not funny. The premise is that a couple of the cast members are big Triple H fans and generally act like asses around him, doing impressions, asking stupid questions, trying to pedigree each other, etc. More wasted space.

 

Raw 11/29/99

 

The angle that kicked off the McMahon-Helmsley era. Test and Stephanie are about to get married when Triple H comes in and shows the footage of his marriage to a drugged Stephanie at an all-night chapel. The wedding ceremony itself goes on FOREVER, but the video footage was interesting enough because Trips kept making funny off-hand remarks. This was worth putting on there, more for historical value than entertainment.

 

first WWF match: 4/29/1995

 

A 3-minute squash of a fat, out-of-shape jobber named Bob Zuma. Not all that bad, actually, considering they only had 3 minutes, and an interesting contrast to what he is now. Worth the space.

 

Ric Flair v. Ricky Steamboat, Wrestlewar '89

 

Now we're talking. There's no way to properly set this up, so I'll just get straight to the match. First lockup goes nowhere. Second lockup sees Steamboat get an armdrag in. Flair complains about a hair pull to buy some time, and they lock up again. This leads to Flair getting a shoulder block in, but Steamboat gets back the advantage with a hiptoss. Flair goes right back at him, and gets armdragged again. Steamboat starts working on the arm, Flair seems to know what this means (i.e., setting up for the double-arm chickenwing which Flair submitted to at their last televised match) and quickly gets to the corner for a break. Flair tries to punk Steamboat out, but Steamboat slaps the crap out of him. They take their time locking up again, and Flair gets a cheapshot in the corner. Then we get our first chop of many tonight, and oh my God is it loud. Flair chops again and punches Steamboat in the face, but Steamboat comes back with some nice, loud chops of his own. Flair keeps chopping and Steamboat keeps chopping back (it's just beautiful to see Steamboat oversell Flair's chops then come right back with his own chops) and eventually gets the better of Flair, literally chopping him from one end of the ring to the other. Flair goes outside and takes a breather. We lock up again and Flair gets a headlock, which Steamboat counters into an overhead wristlock, then into the armbar again. We kill some more time like this, with Flair doing everything to get away from Steamboat and get back on the offensive and Steamboat outsmarting him and going right back to the arm. Flair eventually gets another break in the corner and nails Steamboat in the face with three elbows in a row. He tries to chop Steamboat down, but Steamboat has the chest of steel and fights back, chopping Flair right across the ring again. We get a Flair flop, the crowd goes nuts, and Steamboat slaps on the armbar again, into a hammerlock. Flair finally finds a good counter and just picks Steamboat up, setting him kindly on the top rope. He fakes a clean break then runs to Steamboat, but Steamboat has it scouted, jumping over Flair and chopping him, then hiptossing him, THEN dropkicking him right to the outside. All in one fast, fluid sequence. We're about ten minutes in, and Flair has yet to get any significant offense in. He takes some time to recover then comes back in (taking the time to sell the arm), and calls for a test of strength. Ricky goes for it like a dumbass, and Flair cheapshots him, but he still can't gain control of the match as Steamboat armdrags him yet again and slaps on the armbar again. Flair gets up and pushes him off the ropes, but Steamboat comes right back with a shoulder block. He goes to the ropes again, which seemingly gives Flair the opportunity to finally take control of the match with a hip toss. Ricky does a total oversell, and the crowd doesn't like it (the fact that Flair's in control, I mean; I don't think they have a problem with Steamboat's selling). Flair starts acting cocky and goes for an elbow, but Steamboat still has enough in him to dodge it. Flair goes after him again, but Steamboat gives him ANOTHER armdrag, into the armbar again. I think that's the only time I've seen a heel make a false comeback. Flair gets the heel comeback for real by forcing a break in the corner and delivering some nasty shoulder thrusts. He proceeds to generally beat Steamboat across the ring with chops and punches. These guys have every aspect of their craft down perfectly, right down to the nuances of pacing: Steamboat, the babyface, gets the crowd to root for him by pulling off his moves in rapid succession, naturally exciting them; Flair lays in his shots methodically and deliberately takes the air out of the crowd. You can't watch this match and NOT root for Steamboat. Anyway: Steamboat starts fighting back with chops, but Flair avoids another toe-to-toe fight (which he knows he can't win by now) and rakes the eyes. He gets a shoulder block in then casually throws Steamboat out to the floor, but Steamboat lands on his feet and runs right back in, getting all his momentum back with the classic ten punches in the corner. Flair flip in the corner, and Steamboat gets another shoulder block in. He tries it again, but Flair sees it coming and throws Steamboat to the outside. See, he did it quickly enough so that Steamboat couldn't anticipate it, so this time he didn't land on his feet. Flair follows him out and beats on him some more, chopping him right over the railing into the crowd. He gets a chair and argues with the ref (which goes nowhere). Steamboat uses the time to try mounting another comeback, but Flair cuts it off before it happens with another chop and an elbow to the throat. Flair waits out the count inside, then decides to beat Steamboat up on the outside some more, but Steamboat has recovered enough to fight back and suckers Flair into another chopfest. Flair, of course, loses it, then starts running from the champion back into the ring. Steamboat gets on the ropes and does his famous judo chop, and we get another Flair flop. Steamboat picks Flair up and slams his face into the mat again and throws him to the corner for another Flair flip. This time Flair gets enough momentum to get over the turnbuckle on to the apron, and he goes running for the other turnbuckle, but Steamboat chops him right down. He gets a snapmare in and puts Flair in the armbar again (it actually kind of looked like Steamboat blanked out and didn't know what to do). And I guess at this point he doesn't know what to do, cause then he just does another shoulder block. He goes to the ropes and tries for what looks like a high cross body, but Flair ducks it and Steamboat goes right over the top to the floor again. That took the air out of the crowd REAL quick.. Flair pulls Steamboat back in and does a kneedrop into his face. Steamboat proceeds to get the shit chopped out of him, but still refuses to stay down. That's something you just don't see enough of, especially in the WWF: guys who are always trying to come back when they're on the defensive. In most matches I see, the guy doesn't look like he's trying to mount any offense until he actually gets that offense in and takes control of the match. Each of these guys is CONSTANTLY trying to actually come back and win, and it makes the match infinitely more tense.

 

Flair finally gets Steamboat down with a punch long enough to keep him down with a choke. And as any Flair fan knows, he won't just give you choking: he'll also give you arguing with the fans! Steamboat comes back with...

 

wait for it...

 

more skin-stinging chops! Flair chops back, and this time wins because Steamboat is weakened enough that there's no force left behind his blows. Flair weakens him even more with a belly-to-back suplex, which I believe is our first true near-fall in this match. He works the pin and drops another knee, taking his time. Steamboat is so hurt right now he can't even stand, much less fight back. A double arm suplex gets another two count. Flair drops a hard elbow for another two count and argues with the ref. He lays in more chops and sends Steamboat to the ropes. Steamboat tries to mount some kind of offense with...some kind of aerial maneuver, I don't know what. But that's not the point, the point is that Flair catches him in midair and drops him throat-first down on the ropes. Crowd has a heart attack. Flair works the pin and chokes some more. Steamboat is his bitch right now...or only so it seems, as he's got just enough fight left in him to lay in a good chop. Flair doesn't like this at all and drags Steamboat to the outside, suplexing him on to the floor. Steamboat barely makes the count back in and Flair goes for another suplex, but Steamboat goes behind and gets a cradle in. The crowd completely buys that as the finish, but it only gets a two count. Flair is shocked that Steamboat has anything left in him, and Steamboat sees this split second of shock as his opportunity: quick as lightning he lays in more chops and sends Flair to the ropes, but it's all for naught as they both go tumbling to the floor. Flair recovers first and throws Steamboat in...then he goes to the top rope. Shit. I was really hoping they could go through this match without that spot, because it was going so great without it. Anyway, you know the drill, and here comes Ricky's big comeback. He lays in yet more chops, throws him to the corner, and back body drops him. Flair is panicking now, he knows he has to cut Steamboat off, so he does what he always does: begs off and lays in a cheap shot. But it can't keep Steamboat down, as he flips out of a belly-to-back suplex and rolls Flair up for a 2 count. Interesting footnote: I had to pause the match to write the play-by-play down (as I often do), and something I normally wouldn't have noticed is Flair's "Oh, shit!" expression when he's kicking out, it's priceless. Flair quickly rakes the eyes and tries a suplex, but Steamboat...somehow (I don't know how because there was no struggle) reverses, and hoists Flair on the top rope. These guys then pull off the single most beautiful superplex I have ever seen in my life. Steamboat goes for the double arm chicken wing and the crowd goes nuts, but Flair barely gets the ropes before Steamboat can get it in. Steamboat goes up top and gets another Judo chop. Flair is just gone, he has no idea what's going on. Steamboat goes up top again for the flying body press but Flair inadvertently staggers to the ropes, causing Steamboat to lose his balance and come crashing to the floor. And he blows his knee out on the landing. One guess where this is going. He tries to tough it out and climb back in, but Flair kicks the knee and suplexes him. Steamboat's absolutely helpless, just clutching at his leg and screaming in pain. This thing is over, Flair moves the leg and Steamboat screams. And we've got a figure four, but Steamboat won't submit. He tries to block out the pain and get to the ropes, but they're literally about an inch out of his reach. Flair keeps wrenching it in, but Steamboat eventually makes the ropes. Flair's unfazed: he murders the knee and just taunts him, holding his leg up. Steamboat tries to fight back with chops, but they're having absolutely no effect. So he changes his strategy and nails Flair in the head with an enzuigiri. He now has control and tries a body slam, but Flair holds on to the leg and cradles him for the pin. Crowd is in shock, and so is Flair.

 

An almost-perfect match, this shit was so smooth it's not even funny. Flair and Steamboat knew exactly when to trade off on offense, and exactly how to build up the ante throughout the match. Hardly any flashy moves and not a lot of big spots, but it all flowed together so flawlessly. Only 2 things I saw wrong with it: Steamboat hurting his knee was a bit of a contrivance (as is any Flair match where his opponent hurts his knee), and the ending psychologically could've made more sense: Shouldn't Steamboat have learned from the 2/3 falls match NOT to pick Flair up when his knee is blown? Aside from that, a classic, classic, CLASSIC match. In the future of wrestling, I doubt that more than five matches will EVER top this one. ****3/4

 

Verdict: Overall, a disappointment. The WWE could've easily made the best wrestling DVD ever if they'd made it a 2-disc set and focused on the 2000-2001 run: put the story on disc one and the matches on disc two. You could fit Hell in a Cell, the last man standing match, the Summerslam match, the 3 Stages of Hell match and the Raw tag match on it, possibly even the iron man match. But noooo, they had to focus on the quad tear and the divorce and winning Wrestlemania.

 

Those 2 big match extras up the value a LOT, though. So, if you already have the 2000 Rumble and Wrestlewar, don't bother. But if you don't (and I didn't), get this DVD now.