News Update February 22/02

[Guest erotic jesus]

Well, nobody has responded to me...  Which is okay, I am glad that I inspire apathy...  It is much better than hostility.  It must mean that I am doing a good enough job NOT to be flamed...  Which I think says something on this board.

 

So, I have been sitting at home, and trying to liquidate a bottle of Jagermeister that has been clogging up my liquor collection for months now.  I tell you, this stuff is very, uhh, UNIQUE.  Yeah, I am trying hard not to be nauseous, here...

 

It didn't help that I watched Smackdown.  Actually, during commecials, I flipped to that Glutton Bowl.  We truly live in a dark time.

 

Top News Item:

 

Smackdown aired tonight without flaw, despite shoddy editing, and Michael Cole...

 

What a bore.  I mean, I am more pro-WWF, than most on this board I find, but this was a truly bad show...

 

I thought the beginning was very hot, with the Angle/Kane confrontation, but from there, the 20 minutes of recap just killed any momentum, and they were not able to regain it.

 

Billy & Chuck won the tag team titles, and my eye has finally stopped that uncontrollable winking...  Chuck Palumbo was in pigtails, in case you were wondering.  I expect Tazz to go back to thirty second insta-feuds, and for Spike to disappear until the split.

 

Steve Austin and Scott Hall had a very disturbing confrontation.  This is the second time Austin has bound and gagged a man to a chair, and tortured him...  It makes for very, uhh, uneasy watching on my part, especially how Austin kept playing with Hall's hair.  Hall didn't really play the hostage as well as Vince McMahon did...  he just sort of sat there...  Didn't urinate his pants, or anything...  not until after the show, anyway.

 

And yes, the nWo were made out to be buffoons.  It took them about 18 months in WCW to get to that level... I don't see what benefit this angle will receive from three men, who are mind you BIGGER than Austin, running away from him like, uhh, "pigs from a gun".  So, I'm not creative tonight.  Shut up, beeyotch.  Yeah, that's right, I said beeyotch.

 

I expect (hope) that the nWo will get some form of revenge on Raw...  I also hope that the nWo ends up taking on the entire WWF, and not just the top tier.  Call me a glass ceiling advocate, but I think RVD or the Hardyz could sell an nWo beating as well as Rey Misterio, back in tha day.  I also hope that the stable grows...  just a bit.  Add HBK, Steiner, X-Pac, and another token JTTS...  Maybe Justin Credible?  Test?  Vader?  George 'the Animal' Steele?  Frank Gotch?  Abraham Lincoln?

 

Other WWF News:

 

The split.  And no, this won't be like the legendary "DX split".  This will change the wrestling world, and hopefully pacify all us Smarks, looking for workrate.

 

The split is happening soon after Wrestlemania, and what is going to happen is that Raw will get the sportz entertainment, and Smackdown will get the workrate.  This seems like a good idea, but I doubt UPN is thrilled with it.  No word, that I have seen, about Heat, Excess, Live Wire, Metal or Jakked.  I hear, though, that one of thoe shows may turn into the Stephanie McMahon show!  Where she primps herself in a mirror for half an hour, and then the rest would be her figuring out her hairstyle for Raw.  Oh, Stephanie McMahon bashing is TOO chic on this board.  I should bash Benoit to get a response.  He is wooden!  Like a muppet!  And that toothless mouth of his makes him look Canadian!  ...wait...

 

Smackdown will heavily feature Ric Flair, and allegedly, the Cruiserweights...  So we can just call it the first two hours of Nitro.  I suspect a reformation of a variation of the Horsemen, too...  There's money to be made, folks, and they were referred to twice tonight if that means anything...

 

My pick for the Horsemen would be...  David Flair, Chris Benoit, Curt Hennig and either Christian, or Lance Storm.  Now, I say Flair, just because I think there is a good angle for him and his father regarding the Horsemen...  And I suspect the time in OVW has taught him mic skills, and how to work a match.  Give him some seasoning, and he WON'T be like Erik Watts...  He will be more Dustin Rhodes.

 

I wonder who the WWF will build the Cruiserweight division around...  I could see them trying Rey Jr., or maybe splitting up the Hardyz, and trying one of them, since they are already over.

 

Okay, I am actually quite drunk at this point, and can't remember anymore WWF news...  There are 56 different herbs in my stomach, and they all HATE each other.  Yarg.

 

Non WWF News:  (Which is sort of WWF news anyway).

 

Ken Shamrock is still alive.  And he is coming back to the WWF someday, yeah he is.  And he never worked stiff with his opponents...  Well, never on purpose, anyway.

 

Oh, jeez.  Time to go.

 

I will be back, and sober, at some point.  Like I have said, I am having fun, whether you are or not.  Yeah, being selfish is cool.  So cool...  Yeah!

 

Talk to me at [email protected]

 

Be with me at http://y2k.unitycode.org

 

And I am outie!