Guest Mattdotcom Report post Posted March 28, 2003 I must be linked to this thread through my mind, as I was just thinking of it earlier and BAM! Jango bumps it for no reason. So... Cell phone hot tub. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Downhome Report post Posted March 28, 2003 Just imagine all of the kiddies out there that learned about sex by means of this thread. OJHART: Sex Ed Administrator. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Czech Republic Report post Posted March 28, 2003 I'd like to make a motion for this thread to be retired. I don't know how this would be done, but it deserves some sort of ultimate honor, because as I go back to page 1 and read all this, this is the best, funniest, most surreal thread in the history of this board. Maybe close + pin? I don't know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vitamin X Report post Posted March 28, 2003 You know, I just finished reading this entire thread (and damn I hope I haven't lost that much of my intelligence by doing so)...several times, OJ Hart's "updates" had me doubled over laughing, and I even remember the "The SmartMarks Forums- Apparently, It's Better Than Sex" thing on the boards last summer yes, believe it or not I'm a damn old school TSM poster (when www.thesmarks.com still existed and TSM was spawned from it) I even remember most everyone here not having over 1000 posts and now I regularly see people with 4000, and now 10000...shiiit and I haven't even hit 1000 yet. anyways this thread deserves some kind of honor, I agree. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Downhome Report post Posted March 28, 2003 Why don't we put it in an "Archive Forum"? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Czech Republic Report post Posted March 28, 2003 You know, I just finished reading this entire thread (and damn I hope I haven't lost that much of my intelligence by doing so)...several times, OJ Hart's "updates" had me doubled over laughing, and I even remember the "The SmartMarks Forums- Apparently, It's Better Than Sex" thing on the boards last summer yes, believe it or not I'm a damn old school TSM poster (when www.thesmarks.com still existed and TSM was spawned from it) I even remember most everyone here not having over 1000 posts and now I regularly see people with 4000, and now 10000...shiiit and I haven't even hit 1000 yet. anyways this thread deserves some kind of honor, I agree. for added retroactive laughter, play the RNN theme as you read the updates. "My boner is at 89 percent!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vitamin X Report post Posted March 28, 2003 OJ Hart reminds me of the HOTNEWZ~! writer... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted March 28, 2003 You know, I just finished reading this entire thread (and damn I hope I haven't lost that much of my intelligence by doing so)...several times, OJ Hart's "updates" had me doubled over laughing, and I even remember the "The SmartMarks Forums- Apparently, It's Better Than Sex" thing on the boards last summer yes, believe it or not I'm a damn old school TSM poster (when www.thesmarks.com still existed and TSM was spawned from it) I even remember most everyone here not having over 1000 posts and now I regularly see people with 4000, and now 10000...shiiit and I haven't even hit 1000 yet. anyways this thread deserves some kind of honor, I agree. for added retroactive laughter, play the RNN theme as you read the updates. "My boner is at 89 percent!" Damn TCR if I had a drink in my mouth I would have done a spit take I laughed so hard at that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Czech Republic Report post Posted March 28, 2003 Seriously! Try it! It really really works. And just like Orton, OJ hasn't amounted to anything. But seriously, retire this thread. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JangoFett4Hire Report post Posted March 28, 2003 you can blame Davy Gravy for this thread's revival. His cell phone thread contained allusions to this fabled thread, igniting a hunger in me to re-read it and comment with a Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest treble charged Report post Posted March 28, 2003 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest swan Report post Posted March 28, 2003 is this for real? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mattdotcom Report post Posted March 28, 2003 Is this for real? Well, I pretend it is, as fans of the thread may or may not know. And yes, I believe it is time to retire this, but it deserves more than being locked and shoved to the depths of the board...but what? Even I don't think its exactly pin-worthy. Its a fucking thread about some loser teen having sex and then updating us on it....... OK, maybe it does deserve to be pinned. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JangoFett4Hire Report post Posted March 28, 2003 This thread represents everything that is right with this board: a big mouthed 14 year old with a cell phone, semi-flaming, lying, condescending posts, mythic sexual encounters... all it needs is a BAN PLZ~! or two Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest godthedog Report post Posted March 28, 2003 I fuck sheep and a misquote or two. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JangoFett4Hire Report post Posted March 28, 2003 Yeah, whats up with that. I've never fucked a sheep. They've fucked me a couple times, but thats about it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest evilhomer Report post Posted March 28, 2003 What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JangoFett4Hire Report post Posted March 28, 2003 Thanks for the input, cocksucker Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ravenbomb Report post Posted March 28, 2003 OMG GOD BAN PLZ~!!1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JangoFett4Hire Report post Posted March 28, 2003 What? He flamed me!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheZsaszHorsemen Report post Posted March 28, 2003 In honor of the torrent and bittersweet young love in this thread, I present the lyrics to "Wonderwall" by Oasis: Today is gonna be the day That they're gonna throw it back to you By now you should've somehow Realized what you gotta do I don't believe that anybody Feels the way I do about you now Backbeat the word was on the street That the fire in your heart is out I'm sure you've heard it all before But you never really had a doubt I don't believe that anybody feels The way I do about you now And all the roads we have to walk along are winding And all the lights that lead us there are blinding There are many things that I would Like to say to you I don't know how Because maybe You're gonna be the one who saves me? And after all You're my wonderwall Today was gonna be the day But they'll never throw it back to you By now you should've somehow Realized what you're not to do I don't believe that anybody Feels the way I do About you now And all the roads that lead to you were winding And all the lights that light the way are blinding There are many things that I would like to say to you I don't know how I said maybe You're gonna be the one who saves me? And after all You're my wonderwall I said maybe You're gonna be the one who saves me? And after an You're my wonderwall Said maybe You're gonna be the one that saves me You're gonna be the one that saves me You're gonna be the one that saves me Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted March 28, 2003 What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. Billy Madison rules. That wasn't a flame, JF4H, that was just a simple quote that worked very well in the context of what you just said, which was indeed, one of the stupidest comebacks I've ever heard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Zero_Cool Report post Posted March 28, 2003 Indeed...uhm yeah. This damned thread had me cracking up in class today...needless to say, it was difficult to explain the hilarity of it to my friend who sits next to me. This thread is still classic, though. I think we should put the slogan back up too, just for old times.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest evilhomer Report post Posted March 28, 2003 Actually it was directed at the entire thread in general. But yeah, it does kind of fit in with Jango's comment. For whatever reason I clicked on this thread and read it all the way through. This was one of the dumbest things I've seen in my life, but the comments were funny enough to keep me reading. By the way, you call me a cocksucker?!? Whatsupwitdat?!? I've fucked women many times in my life, nobody, and I mean nobody calls me a womanfucker, but you suck one little dick just once.... (joking) (about the cocksucking part) (I've had sex) (with a woman) (really) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mattdotcom Report post Posted March 28, 2003 (I've had sex) (with a woman) (really) Oh, please. If you did, you'd have posted constant updates here. That's how life works. You did do it in a hot tub, right? And you called her on your cell phone when you got home, didn't you? It's the only way. You know, from now on, if I ever have sex, I'll forever be reminded of this thread, and for that, I damn you all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vitamin X Report post Posted March 29, 2003 yes we need the slogan back up with a link to it, and the thread put somewhere in a far off place so as to not take up room in the general chat area i was going to say something else but i forgot..dammit Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Czech Republic Report post Posted March 29, 2003 Good work, I like that idea. We need "Apparently, it's better than sex" back up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Czech Republic Report post Posted March 29, 2003 OK, I'm goin back and I'm gonna knock her up really really really hard!!! WTF?! The post of the thread right there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest evilhomer Report post Posted March 29, 2003 (I've had sex) (with a woman) (really) Oh, please. If you did, you'd have posted constant updates here. That's how life works. You did do it in a hot tub, right? And you called her on your cell phone when you got home, didn't you? It's the only way. Well I knew right when he mentioned the hot tub that he was full of shit. It's a cardnial rule of hot-tubbing, no sex allowed. It's a real motherfucker to get sperm out of that damn filter. And I didn't post constant updates because it was so damn long ago, computers weren't invented yet. BTW, my vote goes to putting the slogan back up top, I always wondered where that came from. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Czech Republic Report post Posted March 29, 2003 So are there any other threads that have earned the honor of retirement? If the Brock Lesnar Photoshop one stayed alive longer, I'd have that as a candidate. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites