This is strange

[Guest cynicalprofit]

http://www.angelfire.com/ky/PTOWNCRIPS/index.html

 

A gang, a website, and a be a part of our gang page....oh man whats not to laugh at?

[Guest MentallyNormal]

That is Indeed very strange but hey Gangs got to keep with technology. They could at least make the text white or something you can see.

I wonder if their is a Blood one?

[Guest HBK16]

HAHAHA. That is the flavor of the day for me.

[Guest J*ingus]

Oh god, the humanity. That's it. Dissection Of Doom time.

 

(Note: since whatever O-DOGG G-THUGG 4LIFE wrote this drivel can't punctuate to save his fucking life and has a serious problem with randomly inserting the letter "K" into every other word, I've slightly cleaned up his pathetic cumstain of an attempt to write.)

 

WELL THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN JOINING P-TOWN CRIPS!

 

For those of you who don't know, "P-Town" is an incredibly lame attempt to jazz up the name of the town of Paducah, Kentucky. If you've ever been to Paducah, or know anybody from there, then you know damn well why I'm laughing my balls off right now.

 

FIRST THERE IS SOME QUESTIONS WE'LL NEED TO ASK YOU BEFORE YOUR SUBSCRIPTION IS ACCEPTED. (BE SURE TO WRITE DOWN THE QUESTION NUMBER ON A PIECE OF PAPER, AND IT'S CORESPONDING ANSWER! WE WILL NEED YOU TO LIST YOUR ANSWERS, AND THE QUESTION NUMBER ON YOUR E-MAIL TO US!):

 

First there is a need for you to take an English class, because I'm still trying to figure out what the hell you just told me to do. I think it involved instructions to people too stupid to properly operate their email servers. Of course, being that you're trying to solicit new gang members here, that's probably the right demographic to aim for.

 

1:DO YOU CURRENTLY BELONG TO A SET? (if so what is the name of the set,and what nation do they run under. if no then proceed to question#4)

 

"Set"? "Nation"? It's INSIDER JARGON, BAAAAAAABY~!!! "We're from streets that are so fucking nasty, we have our own artificial nonsensical vocabulary!"

 

2:HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN A SET?

 

The Crips equivalent for asking if you have an Associate's, Bachelor's, or Master's degree.

 

3:WHAT ARE THE SET'S COLORS?

 

Red, the blood of angry men, black, the dark of ages past... oh sorry, Les Miz flashback there.

 

4:WHERE DO YOU LIVE?(exact address.)

 

Does this one make anyone else just a tad suspicious? "We want to know if you belong to a rival gang. If so, tell us your position in the gang, what your gang members look like, and where you live. And we PROMISE that a drive-by is NOT in your future."

 

6:WHAT NATIONALITY ARE YOU?

 

"We don't accept crackas/niggas/chinks/gooks/spics/kikes/whatever."

 

7:WHAT SEX ARE YOU?

 

In other words, if you're a female, be sure to bring kneepads, a pillow, clothes that can be quickly removed without ripping, and an unabridged copy of War & Peace (in the unlikely event that you can read), cuz you're gonna be spending some serious time in the horizontal position.

 

8:WHAT IS YOUR HEIGHT, WEIGHT, AND AGE?[.quote]

 

They need to know whether to put you in the front or the back of the group when you're posing for the cameras, looking like real tuff dudez.

 

9:WHY DO YOU WANNA JOIN P-TOWN CRIPS?

 

This question is actually multiple-choice. The answers:

 

A: I'm a fucking idiot.

B: I'm a fucking idiot.

C: I'm a fucking idiot.

D: All of the above.

 

10:HOW DID YOU FIND US?

 

Darwinian natural selection would be my first guess.

 

11:WHAT PERSONAL QUALITIES DO YOU BELIEVE A P-TOWN CRIP SHOULD POSSESS?

 

The ability to completely subborn logic, intelligence, morals, ethics, and basic human compassion in order to belong to a group of fuckups. And oh, being a good cocksucker probably helps.

 

12:DO YOU BELIEVE IN GANGBANGING, OR ORGANIZATION FORMING?

 

Why is this question number twelve on the list?! You'd think something as fundamental as "Do you think gangs are good?" would be #1 with a fucking bullet.

 

13:WHERE DO YOU WORK?

 

Cuz we're mostly unemployed fifteen-year-olds, and need weed money.

 

14:WHAT IS YOUR REAL FULL NAME, AND YOUR STREET NICCNAME?

 

I got nothing here. Of course, neither do they.

 

***THIS QUESTION ONLY APPLIES TO PADUCAH KY. RESIDENTS:***

 

And it DOESN'T apply to all you guys out there who don't live in Paducah yet want to join our Paducah-based gang, so close your eyes, dammit!

 

WHO DO YOU KNOW IN P-TOWN,AND WHERE DO YOU HANG OUT AT?

 

Uh, I know a wrestler named Tony Falk, and have stopped at a pretty good burger joint a couple of times. That's about it.

 

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND CONSIDERATION IN JOINING P-TOWN CRIPS!

 

Whoever wrote this unconciously ripped off the announcement they make in movie theaters about not talking and throwing away your trash. Now THAT'S funny.

 

WE WILL GET BACC WITH YOU WITHIN 24 HOURS OF RECIEPT OF YOUR E-MAIL.

 

Say what you will about their illegal activities, low IQ, abysmal self-esteem, and questionable hygeine, they are damned efficient when it comes to business matters.

 

THANKS AGAIN!

 

No, thank you. I got a good laugh or twelve out of this.

 

[email protected]

 

Their email address, for the more technically-minded amongst you all. Go to town.

[Guest J*ingus]

Daddy said BUMP.

[Guest kane3212321]

Jinus once again with another brilliant tear apart. You should be doing these for a living!

[Guest treble charged]

Jingus also apparently fears IBCode.

[Guest J*ingus]

Apparently the IBCode fears me, since I think I'm the only one to make posts so long with so many quotes that it doesn't work. And Kane, thanks. If I could get paid for doing this, believe me, I'M THERE.

[Guest Tha Cunnysmythe]

Note: since whatever O-DOGG G-THUGG 4LIFE wrote this drivel can't punctuate to save his fucking life and has a serious problem with randomly inserting the letter "K" into every other word

That's a Crip thing. After B's they sometimes write a 'k', representing 'Blood Killa'. Bloods do the same thing with C's. This is why Crips use double C where 'ck' is usually used.

[Guest Alice_In_Chains_Chick]

RRRRIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHTTTTTT!!!!