PROMO: Reminscence

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

We are backstage in the Jobber's Closet. A group of ten JL jobbers sit around a campfire as "Kumbaya" plays over a small boom box. The light reflects almost eerily off of their faces as a small glass bong is passed around the room. The man with the bong right now, Billy Jack Haynes Jr., begins to speak.

 

:deep inhale: "You remember that *cough* guy with the blue hair?" He passes the bong along to the next guy, Andrew Andvari.

 

:deep inhale: "Yeah, man, that *wheeze* Snow Demon guy, man, he was the shit, man." He passes the bong along to the next jobber, Brent Straxx.

 

:deep inhale: "Yeah, remember when he won that *cough* Eastern United Rapes title? That owned, motherfucker." Straxx keeps the bong moving to the next guy, Lucky.

 

:deep inhale: "I was a *wheeze* Jobbers' Champion once... oh *cough* wait, that sucked..." Lucky shuts up and passes the bong on to the next jobber, Eric Moon.

 

:deep inhale: "Yeah, and then he bought some *wheeze* henna and turned heel and became the first Television champion. *cough* That sucked, maaaaaan..." he passes the bong to the next person, Jack Houston.

 

:deep inhale: "I should give you a *cough* stunner right now and that's the bottom line." Houston gives Matsuhara Nokamoku the bong.

 

:deep inhale: "Si siak fhouol houhlsk Mike Van Siclen ofjhglshlokh hoehoih onlhj title hoihlkhlojhl (Yes! And then he became Mike Van Siclen and won the Television title!)" Nokamoku excitedly gives the bong to Ted Flink.

 

:deep inhale: "What are yoooooooooooooooooooou smoking?" Flink has a heart attack and dies, so Zutroy Montgomery takes the bong.

 

:deep inhale: "I think he's talking about *cough* Mike Van Siclen winning the *cough* *wheeze* European title, duduuuuuuuuuude." Montgomery passes the bong to the last man in the room, Matthew Kivell.

 

:deep inhale: "Then he won that Euroooooooooopean title... hehehehehehahahah, you're a-peein'." Kivell passes out, and we fade to black.

 

---

 

A poorly executed comedy promo, but meh. I'll have something better on the show, and that's all that matters. For now, take a hit a remember a little bit of Mike, JM or Snow. Word.

 

- Mike Van Siclen.

[Guest TheBostonStrangler]

Well, I admit, it was interesting. I felt that there was a great concept here, but you could have done so much more. Hopefully the creative streak will stay alive in your writing....you'll need it with a World Title match and all.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Heh...short, bizarre, and will make no sense to anyone who hasn't been watching since January 2001, but I giggled.