Put up yer Dukes.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Ok, anyone here ever been in or watched a really memorable fight? Ever gotten your ass kicked in dramatic fashion? Kicked righteous ass?

 

As far as fighting, I've never been in anything too dramatic, some fisticuffs, a headbutt, then a shout of triumph as I hold my bloody head high, but I've watched some masterpieces. The town I grew up/currently live in is a breeding ground for white trash on white trash violence, and the proving ground is Laurie Park, this little dumpy basketball hoop and swingset deal down by the railroad tracks. The greatest fight of all time took place there.

 

Robert Harmon (5'8" 180) vs. Mark Crider (5'7" 150), fighting after talking shit for absolutely no reason.

 

They began by circling each other for roughly 20 minutes. A friend with a watch kept track of this. During the great circling, they'd comment, like, "We gonna do this?" "C'mon Bitch." and similar insults. After the great circling was complete, Harmon just grabbed Crider up, threw him to the ground, pinning Mark's shoulders with his knees, and then proceeded to throw lefts and rights into his face. This wasn't the glorious part...now get this...

 

HE MADE SOUND EFFECTS~!

 

That's right. As Harmon was pounding this poor sap, he was going "Psh!" "Pff!" "Bff!" Everyone within earshot instantly burst into roars of laughter. Nothing Crider ever said or did was ever taken seriously again, after getting his ass whipped by someone who made sound effects while doing so, and Harmon became something of a cult hero.

 

Best. Fight. Ever.

[Guest Downhome]

You forgot rule #1 of fight stories...

 

...do not TALK about fight stories!

 

 

 

Oh, wait, wrong society. :D

 

No, I have no fight stories. I know it will sound like a pussy, but I don't believe in blatent fighting over pointless things. You know, like you spilled my coke, you bumped into me, etc... People has tried to get in fights with me over such childish things, but I always just verbally embarass them for even WANTING to fight over the such, that they just forget about it and walk away.

 

Besides, if I was ever in a fight I wouldn't just punch and sh*t, I would have no mercy on whomever wishes to meet me, bwahahahaha.

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

This fuckhead in gym class one time during Freshman year was pissing me and my buddy Pat off. He was just pushing Pat and me around, and so I turned around and shoved him. He went back about 10 feet (NOT kidding) and hit his head on an open locker door. Needless to say, he didn't fuck with me ever again.

 

I got in a fight in front of a CVS during Freshman year as well, and I wasn't the one that chose that location. The fucker that did forgot to realize that it's right down the street from the police station in my town...

Anyways, we get it going, I'm moving his punches, but I get clocked in my head. His punches are fucking weak, dude...I kicked his kneecaps a few times, but then he got me in a headlock. I just got out of the headlock and elbowed him in the sternum when the cops showed up...needless to say, we fled.

[Guest Sebastian_the_Bastard]

Hmm... haven't really gotten into any fights.

 

But this one time this kid Ian was pissing me off in gym class (I was 5'7", 130... he was 6" 200) so I pushed him and verbally assaulted him. He pushed me back so we went back and forth for a little bit. Then this kid John ran up and shoved him really hard (he hated the kid as well). Then they went at it while I watched in amusement until the gym teacher broke it up.

 

Then while playing hockey, the same John kid and I can't remember who the other kid was... might have been Ian. They were on opposing teams and they were both by the goalie. The puck was on the other end and they were insulting each other then just started fighting. It was pretty funny, because nobody expected it.

 

Hmm... I do have a fight story. This one little red head bitch always talked shit but couldn't back it up one bit. And I got sick of it, but never hurt him... we were the same age, but he was pretty small. The fucker would always flee on his bike. Well one day we were playing basketball (a bunch of people) and he took a shot and missed and it hit my face, knocking off and breaking my glasses. He laughed to no end, and I got really pissed. So I went over to him and started pummeling him. I took body shots until he fell then I kicked him once or twice. I never hit him in the face... I just wanted him to know not to fuck with me anymore.

 

 

-Sebastian

[Guest Intimacy Goblin]

I was hitching a ride home with Kotzenjunge once, and we had both been insulting each other in a half serious manner. So when we get to my house, we both get out of the car and started all those pre-fight exercises in a joking way. Then he comes at me to put me in a wrestling move that I saw coming a mile away. For some reason I was in no mood for taking shit, so just before he got me I whipped my body around and drove the point of my elbow into his rib cage. Boy was he unhappy.

 

Sorry, but that's one of my more entertaining ones.

[Guest papacita]

I used to get in a lot of shit when I was little (like pre-8th Grade), but haven't been in any real stuff since then, so keep that in mind when I tell you my stories.

 

Anyway, back in either 3rd or 4th grade...I forget which, but my friends and I were all playing in my friend Muhammad's backyard and we had hid my friend Shawn's toy somewhere (it was 10 years ago, so I forget). Anyway, they were trying to keep it a secret where they hid the thing, and I accidentally let it slip, and they all got mad at me. So I go in the house, and say I'm not their friend anymore. So about an hour later, my friends Donnell and Terrell came around (they were about 13 or 14 at the time) and my friends were all talking about how they were gonna beat me up and crap and how they hate me. So I happened to come out of the house at this time, and went over to where they were. We all got in this big argument, my friend Ron said something to me, and I hauled off and slapped him. So we get into it on his front step, punching each other until finally his mom comes out and says "stop that mess". And we stopped (lol).

 

But I didn't leave. I stayed around, talking shit, the arguing continued, and then me and my friend Muhammad got into it. I don't remember much of the fight except that I won, but everybody says I grabbed him by his hair (he had a big afro at the time) and dragged down the steps. So after he started crying, my friend Shawn (who I actually said I was still friends with), comes down and jumps in my face. About a month earlier, the two of us got into it, and he beat my ass for the first time, so now he was acting all tough. So then we get into it. The two of us are fighting, and he keeps putting me in this headlock and punching me in the head. Then he locks me in a full nelson, and is talking all of this shit to me. He had me in it for about 30 seconds, until I finally snapped and said "get the fuck off of me" (yes I was 8~!). So I break out of the hold, then just suddenly started taking it to him. I grabbed him, put him in a headlock, and started punching him in the head and what not, and then finally, a bunch of people ran out of the house and broke up the fight.

 

But it's not over yet. See, a big argument broke out between everybody, and I somehow ended up crying. So then my brother (he was 23 I think) comes over, grabs me and tells me to go in the house. So I haul off and punch him in the stomach. So he looks at me in shock, then hits me with a left hook. I come back and hit him again, and then me and my brother are fighting in the middle of the street (needless to say, it wasn't much of a fight). We basically hit one another back and forth, until he grabs me and shoves me back in the house.

 

I know some of you might not even believe this, but I don't care. This was THE CRAZIEST fight I've ever had!

[Guest LexLugerRules]

My record is 8-1 in fighting

 

My best fight, happened in March of 2001(Grade 8), I suffered a busted lip, but I gave the guy a bleeding nose, and a black eye.

[Guest NazMistry]

My fighting record is 12-0.

I've never been bruised, broken or bled.

I've had fights with other students, work colleagues, homeless people, drunk people, stoned people and even a really small-time pimp!

[Guest diavolina]

in kindergarten....this scrawny stick girl stole my stuffed animal out of my cubby, and when it was nap time...it wasn't there and i saw she had it, so i told the teacher...but stick girl insisted it was hers...even though my GRANDMA gave it to me. but the teacher did't believe me, so when she walked away i punched stick girl in the nose and took my teddy bear and had my damn nap!

[Guest Shaved Bear]

I know a martial arts maniac right (he can actually stand using only his pinky) and we were coming out of a bowling alley, and these two guys jumped us, and he just went all Jackie Chan no them anmd 10 min later the two assholes were on the floor

[Guest kingkamala]

I've had fights with homeless people

Care to elaborate? I gotta hear this story

[Guest Insanityman]

Damn, I really have had so many... I get in fights way too often and way too quick. Maybe it's because I look like a walking twig (I'm wiry... or maybe it's my excuse).

 

Anyways, after my one friend in anger shoved my sister hard (he was pissed) I sprang up and shoved him. He replied in a decent punch to the gut... the point was taken and the brawl was on. I doubled over and he went to hit me with another punch but I dodged a few. He hits a weak one and I could tell he was tired... (or so I thought) so I leaped into a headlock. He then slammed my back into the wall as I crippled down and he went to run home.

 

Make blood, not love. Fights shouldn't end in retreat to your mother, it ought to be broken up or someone gets so bloody or they pass out.

 

 

Believing this, I ran after him and leapt off the measley two stairs of my porch and speared him in the back. We both went rolling into the damn road (*shakes fist at hill*) and then we had a quick brawl until my father and his father came charging at us. I thought it was over as we where walking away... BUT the kid (one year older) came charging back at me and went for the nuts, but my baggy pants and me jumping up made me dodge it. As I landed he shoved me as I grabbed one leg and tripped him in the road. My dad carried me back home while his dad had to nearly drag the kid in as he was nearly senseless.

 

There was another time where I fought this one random prep at a party who threw a chunk of ice at my head (I think it was a dare). Anyways, I charged forwards and speared him down, and his friend surged inwards and my friends did and soon a HUGE brawl broke lose. I got punched by my own disoriented friend, I did caught back up to that kid who threw the ice. I ended up getting in a quick brawl and then he retreated and I was way too tired to go after him.

 

That's all for now, damn... I have so many others but so little time.

[Guest HBK16]

I have a pretty cool one but I will think about all the details and bring it up later.

[Guest HBK16]

K here it is... I was in 6th grade and there was this new kid. Everyone hated him for some reason. Ok so we are playing football and he deliberatley runs into me. And everybody knew that I was gonna be the first to fight him so everyone is all asking me when it was gonna happen. So the next play, I trip him and he gets up and he gets in a fighting position. We talk some and he takes a few swings at me. The I take one and pop him in the face. I think we went on for like 30 seconds until he realized he was bleeding from his mouth, a lot. So he says fuck you and his friends tell the teacher and we both get 3 days suspension. That was my first fight. Pretty memorable. There were atleast 60 people watching the fight too. And I won! I felt pretty good for a few weeks.

[Guest big Dante Cruz]

Two stories, one wasn't me, one was.

 

First off, I have a friend who's pretty short and of a Filipino background. Well, this dumbass that's about as big around as my arm called him a "half-breed bastard" and it was on. Well, first, my friend asked me to hold his backpack, grabbed the guy by the head, ran his head into the wall twice, threw him into the lockers, threw him on the floor and commenced to beat the piss out of him.

 

Same guy later on decided to make fun of the fact that my dad got his neck broken in a car wreck ( for those that wonder, my dad is alright now, but it took years and kinda screws up a kid when his dad has a halo ). Well, me being a martial artist, I've got good self control, which is why I haven't been in any real fights. Anyway, he starts in and he's like two feet away from me. I kinda lost all thought process at that point and pointed my hand into a spearhand and waited for him to look at me again. Seroiusly, I was going to put my hand through his windpipe. Only the assistant football coach (who was very cool) yelling at this guy to get the hell out prevented it, and then it took people to hold me from following him. That didn't really work either, b/c I was ready to throw some nasty elbows, but I got talked out of the haze.

[Guest KingOfOldSchool]

The last real fight I got into was in the sixth grade, approximately 10 years ago.

 

I was sitting in class, and I kept feeling these small rubber bands and bits of paper hitting the back of my head. I walked to the back of the room, to where they were coming from, and this group placed the blame on this newer kid; me being gullible and ready to fight whenever I was being fucked with, I believed them... Whether he did it or not, that I don't know. We met in the hall after class, and proceeded to go at it. Not knowing shit about fighting, I simply kept punching and kicking like a crazy man, with no strategy at all. It wasn't anything big, no knockout shots, and it was fairly even. After we had gotten our hits in, a pair of teachers broke us up, and we both ended up with suspensions.... but I got stuck with the community service because I laid down the challenge and went for the first punch.

 

Other than that one instance, all I've gotten into were shoving matches and quick one-punch affairs, all of which ended quickly either through us coming to our senses or being broken up.

[Guest What?]

Oh the stories I could tell! What with me being Irish (and damn proud of it, thank you) and Canadian (I'm Irish, yet I adopt the Canadian Lifestyle...which is kick ass at every turn! WHOO!), I love to fight. I'm just always pissed off, I guess.

 

Ok, first...my friend and I (my friends name is Todd, might I add) are out skating this one stair set at Midnight, trying to get footage for the skate video were making, when all of a sudden, these drunk as shit 18-19 year olds come walking up. I ollie the set (it's six stairs...not to shabby) and begin walking over to Ty to check the footage. All of a sudden, one of them (named Kev, according to his drunk friends) grabs the camera and starts "watching" the footage. He yells out stupid things like "Oh...*hic* I couldo that!" and "Dude...*hic* youssssuck!" So I say "Yeah, I guess I do, gimme back the camera."

 

Well, Kev starts to hand it back, but then drops it (luckily, it was on grass, but the thud alone made you think it was broken), so Todd starts freakin out, since it's his dad's brand new camera. The Drunx (as it says in the skate video...you'll read why in a sec) start laughing, and the one girl says "You better buy...*hic* him a new one Kev!" to which Kev replies "Nah...let the *hic* little shit work for it...HA HAAA!!" and they start cracking up. Meanwhile, Todd realizes the cameras fine and starts filming. I tell him to start filming me, and he does. Since I'm a mini Bam Margera/Mark Appleyard mix (I look like Bam Appleyard or something...anyway), I start flipping them off while their not looking, look at the camera, smile my Bam smile, and just punch Kev in the back of the head, saying "Work that off, fucker!" (lame, I know...)

 

So, in the video, they have "Bam" vs. The Drunx...it's so cool.

 

Ok, Kev turns around and looks at me. I guess I sobered him up. I won't lie to you...I was piss scared. Who knows, maybe he had a knife or something. Whenever people get drunk, they don't know what they are doing and could seriously injure the person they're fighting. So, I was extra cautious, but my Irish blood was leading me in the right direction. I kept thinking "He's right handed (by his stance, I could tell) and he's drunk...he'll throw his right first..." an dog gone it...I was WRONG!

 

 

 

 

 

Wait, no...I was right...yeah, sorry...

 

 

Anyway, he throws his right, which I duck, and almost instinctively, I drive my left elbow into his gut, making him double over. I then stepped back a shade and uppercutted the drunk fuck into the air. Now, growing up (...wait a minute...I'm only sixteen...I'm STILL growing up...god, sorry again!) I learned to throw a great punch from my boxer father, who learned his punch from the best fighter in 1920's Bend (Oregon), HIS father. So, I'm no slouch when it comes to fighting, so needless to say, I knocked the drunk fucker out cold. So, his friends are checking on him while I look at the camera and say what I'm best known for in my cirle of friends: ".......What?" (An Austin style 'what?' mind you). This all happened, like...two weeks ago while I was in Oregon. I rule.

 

 

 

 

........What?