Assign Gimmicks To Heatless Midcarders

[Guest jester]

"We're gonna get down 'n dirty, Texas-style." All he has to do is sound overly macho and it works.

We need Sergeant Slaughter to mouth off to him a la Full Metal Jacket:

 

"Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, and you don't look like no steer to me. Kinda narrows it down."

[Guest AndrewTS]

Val Venis: Since everyone else they did so far bombed, wouldn't hurt to make him revert back to the porn star gimmick--but with a twist. He'd come out with a different valet each week, and they would be dressed up in stereotypical porn roles--i.e. cable guy and lonely housefire, doctor and nurse, professor and student. It'd be like he just came off the set.

[Guest Hitman Jebus]

Randy Orton.. he will be dubbed "The Abortionist"!

 

It'll get alot of heel heat in the South and i'm sure that "The Abortionist" Randy Orton, with his finisher, The Alley Way Special, would get his own fans claiming it's their choice to like him.

 

Maven.. he will become the man who really loves his own eyebrows.

 

Albert.. he will become "Cletus the Fetus", the nemisis of The Abortionist.

 

Mark Henry.. he will become the evil weightlifter, he can refuse to spot people, he can hit Val Venis with a barbell to the eye.

 

Valbowski.. The Libertarian of Death.. he will bash America for their refusal to listen to Libertarians and finish matches with the "Tax-killer"

LOL, that was great!!!

 

Cletus is my personal favorite

[Guest RicFlairGlory]

We need another wrestler who works for the IRS

[Guest Nevermortal]

They should make Albert a man who is trying to revive the XFL.

 

Every week he'd come down to the ring with a "He Hate Me" jersey, trying to convince a GM to revive the most exciting football league ever, XFL.

 

He'd challenge other hosses to football matches, and they'd get their own time slot... 3:30 AM on a Wednesday Night.