THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH~!

[Guest The Flying Dutchman]

The only reason I did this was to see just how the “About a Girl” angle played out in terms of a heel meeting a face. It evolved into something much worse…

 

Be sure to read everything.

 

 

THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH~!

 

 

Jeff Hardy is backstage, when Nidia comes walking past. Nidia smiles and distracts Jeff Hardy...long enough for Jamie Noble to come out of nowhere with a chair to the head! It was a set-up, Nidia suckered Jeff Hardy in!

 

Overall Rating: 62

 

 

 

Big Show vs Al Snow

 

Belly to belly suplex by Snow. Show blocks the suplex attempt. Some weak shots by Show. We have our mandatory ref bump, as he goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Big Show drops Snow with a clothesline. Cover, but there's no one to count for Big Show. Snow counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Al Snow snap suplexes Show...with authority! ('With authority', trademark G.Monsoon 1986.) Show takes a quick lariat. Hooks the leg for a two count. Snow hits a great swinging DDT on Big Show. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Snow drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Big Show hits a sloppy bulldog off the ropes. Pin, but Snow is out just before the three count. Big Show misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Big Show gets knocked to the ground by Snow. Big Show gets locked in the Beast Choker! Submission victory! A good *** rating.

 

Overall Rating: 66

Crowd Reaction: 72

Match Quality: 55

 

 

 

Bautista vs Al Snow

 

Double arm suplex by Al Snow, Bautista hits hard. Massive back suplex! Bautista got snapped in half. Hooks the leg for a two count. Bautista reverses a hip toss. Bautista slams Al Snow. Big backdrop on Snow, executed well. Spinebuster by Bautista. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Massive backbreaker, Snow got planted. Early reports indicate that the back was *not* actually broken, so the move's name should actually be backhurter. Snow pushes out of a Bautista hold. Massive back suplex! Bautista got snapped in half. Massive back suplex! Bautista got snapped in half. Al Snow misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. The referee tries to separate the two grapplers...and gets knocked over and trampled on as they brawl! That's enough, the referee calls for the bell - double DQ! *** rating, as it was good, but nothing too special.

 

Overall Rating: 69

Crowd Reaction: 65

Match Quality: 73

 

 

 

The Rock vs Al Snow

 

Rock hits a right hand. Snow kicks The Rock in the gut to reverse the momentum. Double arm suplex by Al Snow, Rock hits hard. Al Snow misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee by mistake. Belly to belly off the top rope, Rock got folded up big time. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. Rock pushes out of a Al Snow hold. Flying shoulder tackle by Rock sends Snow to the mat. The Rock hits a bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg for a two count. The Rock scores with a standing spinebuster. Hooks the leg for a close fall. The Rock misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Rock takes a quick lariat. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Snow only gets knees on a splash. The Rock floors Al Snow. Sharpshooter!!! Al Snow taps out! I'll give this a ***1 rating.

 

Overall Rating: 75

Crowd Reaction: 76

Match Quality: 73

 

 

 

Brooklyn Brawler vs Chris Benoit

 

Brooklyn Brawler strikes Chris Benoit. Chris Benoit comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Brawler walks into a stiff sit-out jaw breaker. Flying clothesline by Benoit. Chris Benoit has Brooklyn Brawler down on the canvas. Crippler Crossface!!! Brooklyn Brawler taps out! I'll give it a * rating for not being too bad.

 

Overall Rating: 45

Crowd Reaction: 30

Match Quality: 60

 

 

 

Chris Jericho vs Stacy Keibler

 

Jericho takes a weak clothesline. Stacy Keibler hits a shaky delayed suplex on Jericho. Cover for a two count. Chris Jericho comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Stacy walks into a high dropkick from Chris Jericho. Jericho uses a basement dropkick to the knee. There's a two count on the pin. Back heel kick off the second rope, Stacy goes down. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Stacy backdrops Chris Jericho out of a piledriver attempt. Powerslam from Stacy Keibler on Jericho. Cover for a two count. Stacy face jams Chris Jericho. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Stacy hits a wheel kick on Jericho. Chop by Stacy on Jericho. Jericho reverses a Stacy Keibler hammerlock. Flying elbow from Chris Jericho. Power drive elbow by Chris Jericho. Chris Jericho floors Stacy Keibler. Stacy Keibler gets locked in the Walls Of Jericho! Submission victory! **1 rating for a decent contest.

 

Overall Rating: 60

Crowd Reaction: 74

Match Quality: 28

 

 

 

Torrie Wilson vs The Undertaker

 

Undertaker hits Torrie with a plastic dinosaur. Spear by The Undertaker. Cover for a two count. The Undertaker gets taken down out of nowhere. Incredibly weak headbutt on Undertaker by Torrie. Torrie hits an arm drag on Undertaker. Cover for a two count. Flying cookie sheet shot by Torrie, blasting Undertaker. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Torrie Wilson attacks with some poorly executed flying moves. Undertaker counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Full nelson slam on Torrie. Cover for a two count. Spear! Torrie is down and hurt. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Bodyslam by Undertaker. The Undertaker drives a table into Torrie. Undertaker only gets knees on a splash. Torrie Wilson hits a big clothesline, not of the 'from Hell' variety. Torrie Wilson drops Undertaker with a clothesline. The Undertaker can barely stand. Here it comes - DDT. 1....2...3, it's finished. Torrie Wilson is still in the ring celebrating. The Undertaker pushes the referee away, then spins Torrie around! The Undertaker hits the Last Ride! Torrie Wilson has been floored after the match. **1 rating.

 

Overall Rating: 59

Crowd Reaction: 76

Match Quality: 21

 

 

 

Trish Stratus vs Molly Holly (For The WWE Womans Title)

 

Lame kick from Trish. Running clothesline from Trish Stratus, sloppily done. Weak bodyslam on Molly by Trish. Molly counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face. Flying cross body off the top rope! I'll give a 0.8 on the Steamboat scale for that effort. Trish reverses a Molly Holly hammerlock. Trish Stratus DDTs Molly, although it was hardly executed with pin-point precision. Trish Stratus scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Molly counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Dropkick connects, Trish goes down. Molly only gets knees on a splash. Trish Stratus with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Molly. Both competitors climb out and start brawling around the cell structure. Finally, both of them climb up to the top!!! Trish Stratus grabs Molly...and hits a choke slam! The roof buckles, and Molly falls all the way to the canvas, which breaks, forming a hole in the ring! Trish Stratus drops down, then drags Molly out of the hole, onto the canvas. Pin : 1 - 2- 3. Trish defeats Molly. A **** rating for a good contest.

 

Overall Rating: 81

Crowd Reaction: 94

Match Quality: 54

 

 

 

Bubba Ray Dudley vs Reverend D-Von

 

Reverend D-Von hits some punches. Reverend D-Von pulls Bubba onto the table for a piledriver, but he uses a backdrop to survive. Bodyslam by D-Von. Reverend D-Von with a spinning neckbreaker on Bubba. D-Von drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Bubba Ray Dudley goes to suplex D-Von through a table, but he slips out the backdoor. Spear by Bubba Ray Dudley. Reverend D-Von pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Spear by Reverend D-Von. Lifting DDT by Reverend D-Von, looked good. Reverend D-Von misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Chanelling the spirit of Misawa, Bubba Ray Dudley uses a forearm to the face. Reverend D-Von pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Back elbow connects, Bubba staggers backward. D-Von climbs onto the table with Bubba Ray Dudley and hits a bodyslam through it for the win! Reverend D-Von is still in the ring celebrating. Bubba Ray Dudley pushes the referee away, then spins D-Von around! Bubba Ray Dudley hits the Bubba Cutter! Reverend D-Von has been floored after the match. I can't decide whether it's a *** or a ***1 match...let's go for a ***1 rating to make it fair.

 

Overall Rating: 71

Crowd Reaction: 76

Match Quality: 62

 

 

 

Jeff Hardy vs Stephanie McMahon

 

Jeff Hardy with a whip into the ladder. J.Hardy crushes Steph with a running senton. Steph reverses a waistlock. Sluggish brawling from Steph. Stephanie McMahon punches away at Jeff Hardy. Whip into the ladder by Steph. Stephanie McMahon hits a big clothesline, not of the 'from Hell' variety. Jeff Hardy powers out of a Stephanie McMahon headlock. J.Hardy crushes Steph with a running senton. Steph walks into a face crusher variation. J.Hardy uses a basement dropkick to the knee. Ladder assisted standing moonsault, Steph gets floored. Stephanie McMahon reverses a hip toss. Stephanie McMahon strikes Jeff Hardy. Sloppy tornado punch from Stephanie McMahon, J.Hardy barely got hit. They both begin to climb the ladder. Once they reach the top, an exchange of punches starts! Steph grabs J.Hardy and throws him off into the ropes! His leg gets caught, trapping him. Stephanie McMahon grabs the prize for the win. A good *** rating.

 

Overall Rating: 70

Crowd Reaction: 86

Match Quality: 35

 

 

 

Triple H vs Funaki

 

Funaki hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. Funaki hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. Flying elbow from Funaki. Hard back suplex on HHH. Anyone remember when that was Shawn Michaels's finisher? Funaki misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Fallaway slam by Triple H. Spinebuster by Triple H. There's a two count on the pin. Funaki avoids a Triple H avalanche. Super frankensteiner on HHH, who hit hard. Cover for a two count. Tornado DDT from Funaki, HHH got planted. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. HHH kicks Funaki in the gut to reverse the momentum. Triple H fires off some right and left hands. Funaki fights out of a grapple. HHH takes a flying neckbreaker from Funaki. Triple H can barely stand. Here it comes - Tornado DDT. 1....2...3, it's finished. *** rating for a good bout.

 

Overall Rating: 70

Crowd Reaction: 70

Match Quality: 71

 

 

 

Overall Rating: 53%

[Guest I Like WDI]

"Brooklyn Brawler vs Chris Benoit

 

Brooklyn Brawler strikes Chris Benoit. Chris Benoit comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Brawler walks into a stiff sit-out jaw breaker. Flying clothesline by Benoit. Chris Benoit has Brooklyn Brawler down on the canvas. Crippler Crossface!!! Brooklyn Brawler taps out! I'll give it a * rating for not being too bad.

 

Overall Rating: 45

Crowd Reaction: 30

Match Quality: 60"

 

It's true. Scott Keith will not give any match a DUD with a Canadian in it.

[Guest NazMistry]

Al Snow working three times in a night & Torrie beating Taker?

I'm There!

[Guest The Flying Dutchman]

You guys have completely glossed over the **** Women's Championship Hell in a Cell match! I'm disappointed!

[Guest Incandenza]

You guys have completely glossed over the **** Women's Championship Hell in a Cell match! I'm disappointed!

No one juiced, so who cares?

[Guest The Flying Dutchman]

Fine. Next card I do will feature Trish vs. Molly Holly in a FIRST BLOOD MATCH!

 

Plus, we'll see just how bad bad can get when The Brooklyn Brawler faces Jacqueline in an Inferno Match!

 

Also, he faced Bossman once, but can he beat him yet again in that horrid HELL IN A CELL match?! Al Snow proves what he's made of once and for all!

[Guest I Like WDI]

Have the Hardyz face Steph and Linda in a ladder match.

[Guest Will Scarlet]

Triple H jobbing to the awesome Funaki~! in the main event = I loved it!

[Guest Zack Malibu]

We should do any honorary Wrestlecrap tourney with EWR, seeing who can churn out the worst cards.

[Guest jimmy no nose]

You guys have completely glossed over the **** Women's Championship Hell in a Cell match!  I'm disappointed!

No one juiced, so who cares?

Women can't bleed, haven't you learned anything from No Mercy?