Guest Big McLargeHuge Report post Posted April 22, 2002 La Parka limps around in agony. Sandman shows no mercy and gets barbed wire from under ring. He... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest DrEvil Report post Posted April 22, 2002 hogties La Parka and gives him the Heinikan-rana off the top rope. Sandman says to La Parka... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JAMES900 Report post Posted April 22, 2002 "You suck" then Sandman goes crazy and canes the crowd in a act of violence not seen since.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big McLargeHuge Report post Posted April 23, 2002 the Mass Transit incident. Speaking of which, Mass Transit himself comes out to... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JAMES900 Report post Posted April 23, 2002 Get his revenge on new jack who errm jhust appeard in the ring Mass Transit..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big McLargeHuge Report post Posted April 23, 2002 takes a toaster to New Jack's head. New Jack retaliates... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JAMES900 Report post Posted April 24, 2002 A toaster shot of his own, Mass transit..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big McLargeHuge Report post Posted April 24, 2002 bleeds like a stuck pig. He's juicing everywhere. The ring is staind with his sick red blood, and there's nothing he can do. He calls for help. It's none other than... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JAMES900 Report post Posted April 24, 2002 Billy gunn but before billy can help him..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest DrEvil Report post Posted April 25, 2002 the Honky Tonk Man takes him out with a guitar shot saying "Rockabilly was the greatest gimmick since me, but you couldn't handle it and you ruined my career." Even though he's unconscious, Billy still manages to reach new heights in suckitude... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted April 25, 2002 Then Rico & X-Pac show up for no reason. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest areacode212 Report post Posted April 26, 2002 But for some reason, they don't notice any of the carnage around them, and walk away, leaving behind an odd burning smell. The smell of weed wakes up Billy Gunn, who, groggily, sees Honky Tonk Man hunched over his laptop, engrossed in typing up his latest "I killed Billy Gunn" scoop. Billy sneaks up behind him, and... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted April 26, 2002 Hits the Rokcer-asser on the Honky Tonk Man into the Laptop. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest areacode212 Report post Posted April 26, 2002 As the laptop crashes to the ground, Honky's headphones are ripped from its headphone jack. The sounds of 80s new wave play from the laptop's tinny speakers: "Don't you want me bay-beh? Don't you want me ohhhhhhhhhh?" "You listen to the Human League?!? I love them, too!" Billy says excitedly. "What else do you listen to?" Without waiting for an answer, he picks up Honky's (thankfully undamaged) laptop, and starts going through HTM's MP3 collection. "Oooh! The Go-Gos! Men Without Hats! Can you burn me copies of these?" Suddenly, his face turns sour. "What the hell?? Not even I listen to..." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big McLargeHuge Report post Posted April 26, 2002 the Thompson Twins!" Billy throws the laptop aside and gets all INTENSE~! But Billy cannot handle his own INTENSIY~! Only one man can. He is... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JAMES900 Report post Posted April 26, 2002 Rhyno who proceeds to gore the hell out of..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big McLargeHuge Report post Posted April 26, 2002 Billy. Billy falls and crawls away. But Chuck comes in to help, only to be... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JAMES900 Report post Posted April 26, 2002 Beaten by Gay right actaivist! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest areacode212 Report post Posted April 28, 2002 Chuck then makes an easy comeback against the gay rights activist. As he turns back to Billy, he's met with a gore from Rhyno, a spear from Edge, and whatever Gangrel's finishing move was. "That's right! We're back in this thread, and now we're gonna do to you what we did to Michael Cole back in Toronto!" Chuck cracks his knuckles and says... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big McLargeHuge Report post Posted April 28, 2002 "Sandy!"...everyone looks confused. But out from the crowd pops Olivia Newton John in full Grease garb. Olivia: "Tell me about it...stud." Suddenly they break into "You're the one that I want". Everyone joins in. Chuck: "I got chills...they're multiplying. And I'm looo-sing controoool..." Before he can finish he's knocked out by... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted April 28, 2002 AHHHHHHHHHHHTHECHOKESLAM! from the Fat Show. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big McLargeHuge Report post Posted April 28, 2002 Show goes ballistic on everyone. But he stops at the Aussie singer/actress. They then start a rendition of "Summer Lovin'"... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest areacode212 Report post Posted April 28, 2002 ...until the Big Show is viciously assaulted by Kylie Minogue! She then kicks the shit out of him until he throws up. Edge, Gangrel, Rhyno and Olivia Newton-John stare in shock at her fighting skills. "Where'd you learn how to do th...", Olivia gets cut down by a Kylie drill kick before she can finish. "I was Cammy in the Street Fighter movie! And there's only room for ONE Australian pop superstar around here! So, are you boys going to continue singing that awful Grease song, or what?" Nervously, they look at each other and break into a rendition of "Outta My Head" (complete with harmonies). "That's what I thought. Now, the three of you are going to help me take over the world!". Kylie strokes her full, red lips. "Here's my plan..." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big McLargeHuge Report post Posted April 28, 2002 "I'm putting subliminal messages in my songs. They'll manipulate the general public into thinking I should rule the world. I'll be appointed leader, while still releasing songs, I need money after all, and blow evey country's budget on nothing but Yoo-hoos." They all agree. But Ms. Minogue did not count on the fickle Rock and Rap communities who care not for Disco bullshit... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest areacode212 Report post Posted April 28, 2002 And two years later, after World War III (the epic Rock/Rap alliance vs. KylieLand war), the Rock/Rap army has been reduced to Jeff Jarrett (whose Country Music tribe at the last minute decided to join the Rock/rap guys), Master P, and Man Mountain Rock. Standing at the gates of Kylie Minogue's evil tower, they wish each other luck. High above, deep in her chambers, sitting at her black throne of death, Kylie summons Edge, Disqo and "Das Wunderkind" Alex Wright. "Eliminate them". They grin, pick up their laser guns, and head into the elevator. Kylie smiles, and takes a sip out of her Strawberry Yoo-Hoo bottle. Down below, the gates open, and Kylie's army.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted April 28, 2002 Are all squashed by Hogan in a Handicap match against the Army. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big McLargeHuge Report post Posted April 28, 2002 proceeds to fully overtake the planet. She looks over to a mytical orb containing dead rockstars' souls. That's right, Kylie has every single deceased rocker and rapper in a frickin' jar. She laughs maniacally as she glares into the glass. The ghosts of Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, John Lennon, Tupac, Kurt Cobain and many others float around aimlessly in torment. But...Master P's militia storms the throne room overtaking her bodyguards. She... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest areacode212 Report post Posted April 28, 2002 yells out, "Gangrel! Rhyno!", and they materialize into her throne room. But before they can do anything, Jarrett and Man Mountain Rock neutralize them with their respective guitars (in fact, MMR's "WWF" electric guitar re-injures Rhyno, to the dismay of ECW fans everywhere). "Curses!", Kylie says. But she purrs, "I have one final weapon. Prepare to die." She presses a hidden button on her throne's console, and her 80s cover of "The Loco-motion" assaults the senses of everyone present. However, the sound waves weaken the glass of her mystical orb, and... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big McLargeHuge Report post Posted April 28, 2002 the souls of thousands, nay, MILLIONS of OD'd rockstars escape. They swarm Kylie. She attempts to increase the volume on the song, but their power is too much. She tries to flee, but falls off a catwalk, plummeting to her doom. The souls descend unto RnR heaven. The slaves of Kylieland are now free. P, Jarret and MMR check on the Songtress' body...it's gone. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest areacode212 Report post Posted April 28, 2002 Man Mountain Rock says, "I guess her body must have been blown away by the wind on its way down" (Maxx Payne was never the sharpest knife in the drawer). Months later, in the bowels of Australia's aborigine caves, a scientist pulls a lever. A body-sized capsule opens, and a half-robotic (but still extremely hot) Kylie steps out. "One day, I will have my revenge and reclaim the Earth!" She then fries the scientist with the anti-matter cannon in her wrist. Meanwhile, at the ECW Arena... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
