Advice...

[Guest Respect The 'Taker]

Hello all...

 

Bare will your humble Taker Mark here as he is about to get serious. Sometimes you dont know what to do when your in a tough situation..and i've always thought its always worth a shot at telling just about anyone and hearing, or in this case reading, what they have to say.

 

If being compassionate isn't your thing, then you have no reason to read on.

 

Im sure most of the guys here have had their fair share of female issues. Im no exception and am currently in one mean situation. The story goes like this...

 

About a year ago..i met a girl named Zoe. To start with i didnt think all that much, in fact i thought she was a little out of my league. During this time i had a girlfriend...problem is, Zoe confessed to me a few months later that she liked me alot...but i couldnt do much because i was with someone. A few months later, my friend died - he gassed himself in his car. At his funeral Zoe gave me a hug...and something happend. I dont know what it was , but a different feeling came over me and suddenly, i really really liked her.

 

However, by this time Zoe wasnt as interested as she used to be..or so it appeared. I held back from telling her for a good few months...unfortunately, she found someone in that time...a guy named Mark. As the months past, and my feelings remained the same, i wrote Zoe a 4 page letter which basically outlined every single inner thought in my head...something ive never done for any girl at all. I gave it too her eventually...and no prize for guessing the outcome I wanted...of course i wanted zoe to just ditch everything and say "I love you too" and we all live happily ever after. Fate thought differently, Zoe was very touched by what i wrote her...however...she couldnt admit she felt the same way, because she didnt.

 

So now, im here where i am...in love with a girl i cant have. In a situation where she wants our friendship so badly she crys because she cant talk to me...and i cant sleep because she is with someone else. How do you suggest i over come this? Ive tried everything...ive tried new people...but they always just end up one night stands, because im always secretly wanting them to be zoe.

 

Tell me, what would you do in a situation like this?

 

All *SERIOUS* advice and feedback is greatly appreciated...anything you can add will help.

 

Thank you all dearly for your time.

 

This has been the Taker Mark

[Guest TJH]

It might be difficult, but pursuing this girl at the moment won't do any good.

You seem young, so the relationship won't last forever. Do your best to be a "friend" and when they break up do nothing. You have to wait a while, possibly a few months, otherwise she will see right through you.

If she goes after you straight after she breaks up that won't be conductive to a satisfactory relationship, in the long term, for either party.

 

The worst thing you could possibly do is chase harder. At your age there is plenty of time, so be patient.

 

As for the moment, be a friend to her, and just wait. Don't start a relationship with a different girl unless you are wholly committed.

 

Just look on the bright side of life.

 

Hope I have been helpful.

[Guest Respect The 'Taker]

Thank you very much, that made a lot of sense...

 

Im 17 years of age, i know the whole thing screams immature teen-love story...but hey, when your feeling it , it doesnt seem so pathetic and insignificant.

[Guest TJH]

I can assure you, I know EXACTLY how you feel.

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

You are really in a tough situation. I mean you obviously have these very strong feelings and they are overcoming you completely. I'm pretty sure that the other girls you do date get compared to her in your mind. But I do have a question for you:

 

When you were with your girlfriend and this girl showed she liked you, did you do anything to see if you felt the slightest bit of attraction?

 

When she hugged you at the funeral, I would guess your emotions were all over the place. As they should be. My best guess is that you had feelings for this girl all along but for whatever reasons you never expressed them and the emotional time of the funeral really brought them out.

 

I'm sure people have told you move on, however I realize that it isn't that simple. So if you can't just forget her, then maybe you should tell this girl to her face that you are madly in love with her and it just took you time to realize it. Tell her basically what you told her in the letter but tell it directly to her face. Let her see you speak them. And I understand how guys are about crying in public, some think its a sign of wussiness, but if you lay it all on the line maybe she will see. Saying it to her face let's you both see true emotion. Thats about the best thing I can think of and I'm really sorry you are in this spot. I understand this is killing you inside and I wish there was something I could say that would help it somehow.

[Guest TestKick]

I know how you feel, I've been in the same position.

 

Can I just ask if you've told Zoe, face-to-face, how you truly feel about her? I've written the sweetest, longest letters to girls, and it won't work unless you say it right to their face.

 

Did Zoe say anything directly to you after you wrote her the letter? You just said she doesn't feel the same way... and that can mean a lot of things.

 

If she said straight up to you, "I don't feel the same way". Then you better try to move on, and I know how hard that is... but, it's better than waiting every second just hoping she'll say she loves you, because it will only bring up disappointment... and you'll be missing out on a lot of things during this time, which is the best time of your life (I've done that, and it's a mistake I'll always regret.)

 

If she didn't say anything to the effect that she doesn't want to be with you... Then go up to her, and tell her you love her. Don't think about it, just do it. If she says anything besides that she feels the same way, and would like to be with you, then follow my advice in the previous paragraph. If she says she cares about you, but is with someone else right now, don't wait. Try to forget her, and move on. It seems like you 2 have shared some serious emotions for a long while... and that's long enough to know if both of you truly love each other.

[Guest Youth N Asia]

The Friendship Zone...it's like a black hole, once it sucks you in there's no coming back.

 

I don't think this'll happen bro...I doubt it's still up anywhere, but I started a friendship zone post a long time ago and everyone hit on it...it's God's meanest trick ever.

 

I think most of us have gone through this

[Guest I Hate Radio Shack]

Here is some good advice coming from a small penis man seriously!

 

Take a few months away from the girl - just tell her you'll be away for awhile and you will be back - give her a date if you like - or approximate time. In that time find another girl, get involved and after those months of developing advanced feelings for another - you will go back to Zoe and feel little twinges and pangs of your old feelings -but will have something else to ease the pain.

 

eventually you will forget about zoe.

 

if the feelings are too strong when you go back to talking to her that you can't help but still madly love zoe - then you're fucked and you have to stop talking to her altogether - or act like an asshole to her purposely - so that she will not be hurt or crushed by you not calling her.

 

I wish i had a girlfriend at all but unfortunately my penis is so small I cannot provide for a woman sexually!

[Guest Marshall]

I didnt read it, but heres my advice:

 

Never surrender

 

Never look back

 

Never say sorry

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

Several years ago I was friends with this chick (Gina) who liked me. I had a girlfriend at the time and by the time we broke up Gina was in a relationship. Although I wanted to get involved with her, I never did anything about it. I would visit her every now and then and it would be "normal" meetings. I never pushed the issue because, frankly, it was none of my business. My line of reasoning was that it wasn't fair to break up her seemingly stable relationship just because I had an itch in my pants for her. A Year or two past, and one day I get a call from Gina and the first words out of her month were that she had broken up with her boyfriend. That night I was over her apartment and that next morning I left.

 

THE END

[Guest J*ingus]

So now, im here where i am...in love with a girl i cant have. In a situation where she wants our friendship so badly she crys because she cant talk to me...and i cant sleep because she is with someone else.

I wish I had helpful advice, but I don't. I can, however, play a little one-upsmanship: I too was once in love with a girl I couldn't have... and she couldn't stand me. She hated me, considered me a complete weirdo geek loser. Despite my falling for her SO hard that I still mist up when I think about it now, five years after the fact.

[Guest Tha Cunnysmythe]

Several years ago I was friends with this chick (Gina) who liked me. I had a girlfriend at the time and by the time we broke up Gina was in a relationship. Although I wanted to get involved with her, I never did anything about it. I would visit her every now and then and it would be "normal" meetings. I never pushed the issue because, frankly, it was none of my business. My line of reasoning was that it wasn't fair to break up her seemingly stable relationship just because I had an itch in my pants for her. A Year or two past, and one day I get a call from Gina and the first words out of her month were that she had broken up with her boyfriend. That night I was over her apartment and that next morning I left.

 

THE END

That's so beautiful...

[Guest goodhelmet]

hey bro, this situation is not uncommon esp. at your age. I have gone through the EXACT same situation except for the fact that I told her face-to-face, not through a note. Either way, you should really make a clean break. if you cannot be a fplatonic friend to her then what is the point? you are lying to yourself and to her every time you 'comfort' or 'confide' in each oher, knowing you really want to be intimate. the fact is you are young and there are plenty of other opportunites out there. After my 'friendship inciden' i made a clean break. 6 months later i met my future wife and have never looked back. don't go through the drama. time will heal the wounds, blah blah blah...

[Guest Shaved Bear]

dont try to pursue her...NOW

 

actually start a friendship with her, and she will then begni to feel the same way about you as she used to in time, so try to think of her as a friend only, or at least make the appearance of doing so, so then she would get back into thje person you were when she used to like you, and the make your move

[Guest EricMM]

Letters won't start relationships.

 

Don't do it !!

 

DON'T YOU WRITE THAT EMOTIONAL LETTER!

 

DONT!!!

 

If you mean it do it in person.

 

No girl likes a pussy...

 

except Marne...

 

nevermind

 

 

 

 

 

Seriously. I've just talked to a girl who got one of THOSE letters. You often start out with the intention of making emotional outpourings, but you generally end up putting the girl in a position she doesn't deserve. Things like "I know you don't feel this way about me, but I just love you forever and etc." just don't work. Anything like it doesn't work. Ask her out. Or tell her. But no letters.

 

Just don't!

[Guest justsoyouknow]

.....This story sounds waaaaay to familiar......a friend of mine is helplessly in love with a girl named Zoe......you wouldn't happen to live in AZ, would you?

[Guest EricMM]

Oh you know Zoe?

[Guest Respect The 'Taker]

A sincere heartfelt thank you goes out to all of your from me, everyone here has contributed in aiding me get over this aspect of my life, and you've all helped very much.

 

So to...

TJH

Texas Small Arms 09

TestKick

Youth N Asia

I Hate Radio Shack

Davy_McWavydavy

kkktookmybabyaway

Jingus

Tha Cunnysmythe

goodhelmet

Shaved Bear

EricMM

justsoyouknow ( i live in Australia mate, not Arizona..scary coincidence though )

 

I give a big thanks. Thank you for taking the time to help a total stranger, it truly shows how many good people there are on the planet.

 

This has been the Taker Mark

[Guest justsoyouknow]

Oh, well then it's probably not the same Zoe. But yeah, scary coincidence.....this kid wanted me to set him up on a date with anyone (his wording), but after every person, said "no thanks" or "I'll pass" because I couldn't get him Zoe.....

 

 

Some people are picky bastards....

[Guest J*ingus]

Letters won't start relationships.

 

Don't do it !!

 

DON'T YOU WRITE THAT EMOTIONAL LETTER!

 

DONT!!!

Abso-fucking-lutely, this one gets my personal endorsement from my own painful experience.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

I hate to trivialize this particular instance, which is much more emotional than my own, but I wrote drunken E-mails to several girls the other night(same instance that I mentioned in another thread). They weren't that emotional though, more like sales pitches for myself and star ratings for each girl. Yes, the fan in me comes out when I'm drunk especially. Example: "I'm only **1/4 or so, you're ****1/2, don't feel bad, no one will ever get a *****."

 

Of course, imagine that barely spelled correctly and with horrible grammar.

 

Oddly, I had the coordination to do the star ratings.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest welshjerichomark]

i know how you feel also, similar things have happened to me more than once. i know advice off a 15 year old girl is the last thing you need right now but hey you asked.

 

you got to look on the bright side,

 

1) she liked you at one time so you can't be totally disgusting

 

2) she wants to be friends, look at this way, most relationships last about a year tops, but good friendships last forever

 

just keep saying this to yourself;

 

she'll be sorry when i'm rich and famous