SJL Metal (August 22, 2002)

August 23, 2002

Axis: "Welcome to SJL Metal! I'm Axis, your star-studded Australian announcer.."

King: "I'm the Suicide King, here to tell you that Axis is full of shit.."

Edwin: "And I'm Edwin! I laugh at the both of them and hug pandas!"

Axis: "Anyway, we're looking forward to an action-packed edition of Metal this evening.. and we kick it off with Cutthroat taking on Kamikaze! Cutthroat is already in the ring, so let's get this party started."

Sure enough, Cutthroat is in the middle of the ring, flexing his arms in preparation for the upcoming match. The fans cheer as he flashes a smile. Godsmack's "I Stand Alone" hits the speakers, and the crowd continues to cheer. Kamikaze bounds onto the stage, his arms spread wide with presentation. He looks on like Jericho in the Too Cool glasses.. then looks into the ring and turns green. Kaze slaps a hand over his mouth and squeezes his eyes shut. Flailing his other arm around wildly, Kamikaze finally grabs onto a bunch of air and begins stumbling down the ramp. Funyon, distracted, forgets to announce Kaze and stares in awe.

King: "What the Hell?"

Axis: "It seems Kamikaze can't stand the sight of Cutthroat.."

King: "Not many of us can, but isn't this a little extreme?"

Edwin: "The dream! It wasn't a dream! It was real! I bet that's what it was! 'Cause I remember.."

King: "I don't."

Axis: "You left, King. I remember the whole night. It was no dream."

Edwin: "Though, of course, Maria probably has him believing that so he won't be downright humiliated! To the third world lower class with the Boston Strangler!"

King: "Where did I go?"

Axis: "Into the crowd, I think, I dunno."

King: "Ohh, I think I remember, now! I had to let something awful go. I believe Manson is still in the hospital from the fumes.."

Edwin: "You nasty freak-boy!"

Funyon, having finally remembered his duty by the time Kamikaze stumbles into the ring apron and rolls himself into the ring, quickly announces Kaze.

Funyon: "And his opponent, from Minnetonka, Minnesota and weighing in at two hundred and thirty five pounds.. Kamikazee!!"

Cutthroat watches as Kaze makes his way blindly to the turnbuckle, ascends and throws his arms out, his eyes still squeezed shut, and shouts.

Kam: "KAAMIKAAAZEE!!"

The crowd cheers a bit at the antics of Kamikaze. Cutthroat leans in toward Funyon, who still stares in wonder.

Cutthroat: "What's his-CUTTHROAT!-problem?"

Funyon jumps back as Cutthroat yells in his ear, then frowns, then glares, then lays into Cutthroat with a huge right hand. Cutthroat drops to the mat, holding his jaw area as Funyon exits the ring and the bell rings, signaling the start of the match.

Axis: "All right, Funyon!"

Edwin: "Cheerio! 'bout time he took a stand against these abusive wrestlers!"

King: "Cutthroat wasn't being abusive, he was being a clod."

Axis: "But I'm saying.. how is Kamikaze going to wrestle if he won't open his eyes to look at Cutthroat?"

King: "As much as I hate to say, easy win for Cutthroat."

Cutthroat gets to his feet, looking at Funyon with a 'what the Hell?' expression plastered on his face, though it reads backwards because Cutthroat put it there himself, the clod. On the other side of the ring, Kaze hops down, struggling to keep his balance, then carefully opens one eye. The eyeball darts around, searching out the thong-wearing Cutthroat, but doesn't find him. Kamikaze blinks both eyes wide open, then smiles relieved-like at the crowd. He offers them a thumbs up sign, causing a loud cheer to arise from the Cleveland fans. Cutthroat looks back at Kamikaze, then darts up from behind and pulls Kaze down in a smooth school boy. Before the referee can even drop to make the count, Kaze kicks out and crawls wildly to the corner of the ring, nearly bursting into tears as he again snaps his eyes tight shut.

Kam: "Don't let him near me, don't let him near me! Maria!? HELP!!"

As Cutthroat advances on the sniveling Kamikaze, one side of the ropes flexes outward, then out of nowhere, Cutthroat gets bulldozed to the mat (from a clothesline, of course). Cutthroat blinks and takes a deep breath to recover his wind. Kam remains glued to the cornerpost, shivering in fear as some unseen force fights the confused Cutthroat.

Cutthroat: "Who was that?!"

The referee stands on the other side of the ring from Kamikaze, staring in disbelief. The fans are also silenced by what they see, and don't see, along with the normally chatty announce trio. Hee, it's 4:20. Cutthroat stumbles to his feet, only be knocked back down by.. nothing. Cutthroat rolls to the side as something shakes the mat. The terrified wrestler pulls himself to his feet via the ropes and turns toward the center of the ring. Something so horrifying reveals itself to Cutthroat, causing him to turn white and faint dead on the mat. Kamikaze receives a shake to the shoulder, and he blinks his eyes open, looking up.

Kam: “Is he.. he gone?”

A soft humming sound can be picked up by the camera’s microphone and a relieved smile plays across Kamikaze’s face. Kam stumbles to his feet and shuts his eyes, holding his arms out. As if being guided by some higher force, Kaze walks slowly toward the passed out Cutthroat. Kam kneels beside Cutthroat, then lays across his chest for the cover. Kamikaze is heard whimpering as his body quivers.

Silence hangs over the arena. The fans are silent, the announce team is silent, the referee is silent, Cutthroat is a clod, and Kamikaze is the only one who can be heard, breathing deeply as he obviously tries to control himself.

Kam: “Please, hurry!”

The referee finally snaps out of it and drops slowly to his hands and knees. Softly, he taps his hand on the mat.

One.

Two.

Cutthroat kicks out! Kamikaze screams and lurches back as the crowd gasps in surprise. Kaze pops to his feet and throws himself into a tantrum, as if a million spiders were crawling over him and he’s trying to shake them all off.

Kam: “You told me he was dead! You told me!!”

In a maddened burst of speed, Kamikaze jumps onto the turnbuckle and dives off swan-style, headbutting Cutthroat with precision, despite his eyes being clasped shut. Cutthroat cries out before passing out once again.

Cutthroat: “CUTTHROAT!!”

Kamikaze strains to make the cover once again..

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!

The bell rings and Kamikaze quickly releases the leg of Cutthroat, rolls out of the ring, and begins running up the ramp. Kamikaze stands on the stage as “I Stand Alone” by Godsmack hits, to minimal cheers from the still confused crowd. Kaze whirls around, facing the ring with his eyes wide open!

Kam: “I did it! All by myself! I don’t need you Maria! I can look at Cutthroat without imagining him in a thong!”

Suddenly, all the lights in the arena go out, and a black light illuminates the stage, revealing a ghostly figure floating in front of Kamikaze. The beautiful but haunting woman turns in her translucent grace and smiles at the crowd. A soft humming is picked up by nearby microphones, then the apparition dissipates.

Kam: “She says she loves you all.. but me especially.”

Kaze grins like a Cheshire cat, then continues to relay Maria’s message.

Kam: “She was here to teach me, she says I passed! She won’t be harassing me anymore!.. But she will still help me with matches. Woohoo!!”

Kamikaze dances a circle and skips backstage. Cutthroat remains passed out in the middle of the ring, and Funyon finally blinks the cobwebs from behind his eyes.

Funyon: “Uh, your winner of this.. match.. Kamikaze.”

King: “..”

Edwin: “..”

Axis: “Check, please.”

August 23, 2002

(The camera opens up to Ben Hardy, the SJL's very own backstage announcer. Ben stands in his gray suit, while looking around the area he is standing in, as if looking for someone.)

Ben Hardy: Well SJL fans, I, Ben Hardy, is standing here, waiting for a word from the God of Thunder himself, Thor. Last week on Crimson, Thor had some mighty words for 'Hollywood' Spike Jenkins, and I can only imagine what he has to say now...Is that him over there? Hey! Its...Its...Its Thor!!!....Oh Jesus...

(Ben Hardy throws his arms up, and lets the drop to the ground, as if annoyed. From out of the corner, 'Hollywood' Spike Jenkins walks into the scene, with a fake gray beard, orange wig, a blue Captain America T-shirt on, and a blow up toy hammer in his hand.)

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: FEEE FIIIIE FOOOO FUMB. I SMELL THE BLOOD OF AN ENGLISH MAN.

Ben Hardy: Spike? What is going on?

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: 'TIS NOT I, SPIKE JENKINS, BUT SUPER SPIKE!!!!!!!!!!!

Ben Hardy: Super Spike?

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: 'TIS YES!!!!!! I AM A SUPERHERO! I CAN LEAP SMALL BUILDINGS IN A SINGLE BOUND! I CAN FLY FASTER THEN A SPEEDING uhhh CAR. I HAVE MONKEY POWERS THAT LET ME CLIMB UP BUILDINGS AND FIGHT EVIL VILLAINS LIKE DR. ORANGE COBBLER! 'TIS A BIRD! NO! 'TIS A PLANE! NOOOOOOOOO! 'TIS! SUPER SPIKE!!!!!!!!

Ben Hardy: What the hell are you talking about?

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: What? 'Tis don't like my outfit? 'Tis don't like my super powers? 'TIS BE GONE!

(Spike slaps Ben upside the head with the fake hammer.)

Ben Hardy: Spike...what is going on?

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: I AM A SUPERHERO, LIKE MY ARCH NEMESIS, THOR!

Ben Hardy: But Thor isn't a superhero...

(Spike pulls the beard off and throws it to the floor, followed by the orange wig and the hammer.)

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: Exactly. Ben, if you can figure it out, why cant Thor?

Ben Hardy: I don't know. I don't think Thor is a superhero...

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: Of course Thor thinks he is a superhero. He is always waving around that little comic book with him on the cover.

Ben Hardy: But Spike, Thor is a God.

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: A God? Why kind of freak would think he is a God?

Ben Hardy: Thor, I guess. He is the God of Thunder.

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: Thor? The God Of Thunder? Why cant he be God of something Cool? Hey, monkey boy, what is Buddha the God of?

Ben Hardy: India?

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: India...

Ben Hardy: I think so.

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: Well, that doesn't matter. Why cant Thor be the God of India? Why does he have to be the God of Thunder?

Ben Hardy: I don't know...

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: Well, I do.

Ben Hardy: OK. Anyway, Spike, everyone wants to know, Why did you turn on Thor and...

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: And Join the sWo?

Ben Hardy: Why, yes.

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: I will tell you why. Respect Ben, Respect.

Ben Hardy: Respect?

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: Is there an echo in here? Yes, respect. You see, everyone in the sWo respects me for my talent. They realize I am the greatest the JL has to offer.

Ben Hardy: I wouldn't go that far...

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: Well, Everyone else would. Everyone knows that I am the top talent in this company. And I was only being held down by incoherent jackasses, like Thor, and EDWWWWWWWWWWIN MACPHISTOOOOOOOOOO. OHHHHH, SWF World Champion? Big Whoop.

Ben Hardy: Edwin? What does he have to do with anything?

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: Oh please. Edwin is the head cheese around here. And Eddy boy has been watching me. And you know what? He is jealous. Jealous that I have more talent then he will ever have. So what does he do? Pair me with Thor every week. EDWIN TRIED TO KEEP MY DOWN. So I couldn't get up to the SWF, and take his little title from him. But you know what I did? When Eddy was watching for the Jab, I hit him with a Right Hook. HE NEVER SAW IT COMING. He was doing the same thing to me, as he was doing to the sWo. Come on Ben. The sWo is full of talent, and what does Edwin do? Book sWo against sWo. Edwin should know, YOU NEVER BOOK STABLE MATES AGAINST STABLE MATES. But he does it anyway. And do you wonder why, Ben?

Ben Hardy: Not really...

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: Well, now you do. It is because he is jealous. Jealous of the sWo succeeding. He doesn't want us to break out of here, and head up to the SWF. He is scared. Scared of our talents, and what we are capable of doing.

Ben Hardy: I don't know how you can blame all that on Mr. MacPhisto, but in any case, what did this have to do with Thor?

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: Thor, you ask? Why not Thor? Thor has always been the little corporate suck up. He always played nice around Eddy Boy. And look at what he is doing tonight. Getting a shot at the Number One Contendership for the World Title? What the hell is this crap?

Ben Hardy: It seems to me you are a little jealous of Thor.

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: Jealous? Of Thor? Oh please. I'm not Jealous of Thor. I am just sick of the way people get around, around here. Thor, sucking up to the Commissioner, and getting a shot at the biggest title here. And what do I get? NOTHING. I put my body on the line every night. My high risk moves amaze the fans, when Thor can only stumble around the ring. Please Ben. Tell me, what is going on?

Ben Hardy: Well, I don't know. But I know is, we have to get back to the ring, for some more action...

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: HEY HEY HEY! I am not finished. See, this is what I am talking about. I don't get respect from anyone around here, except for my stable mates. You know what, I think I have to prove my point. Tonight Ben. Tonight, THOR, gets taken out, by me, 'Hollywood' Spike Jenkins. NOW. I am finished.

(Spike walks off screen, leaving a confused Ben Hardy standing there.)

August 23, 2002

…And we’re back, and we’re live on Metal! The camera scrolls across the sea of hardcore Smarks Junior League fans in the ever-so-noticeable Gund Arena! Fans hold up signs such as “THOR + VISCERA = RATINGS!!!”, “WHERE’S XF9?!”, and “THE FRANCHISE IS GOING TO GO BANKRUPT!”. The camera then zooms over to the announce team of The Suicide King, Commissioner Edwin, and Axis.

“Greetings, one and all, to another edition of Smarks Junior Leauge Metal! We just saw Cutthroat go against Kamikaze, and next up, we’re going to see Fugue go one on one against Matt Myers, which is going to be sWo vs. sWo!” Edwin proclaims.

“Bah. Who the hell did you get to do the booking? Cutthroat?!” The Suicide King sneers.

“Maybe, maybe not…” Edwin murmurs.

“But what are you THINKING?!” The Suicide King screams, “Fugue and Myers are pratically TEAM MATES!”

“Well, King, a little from column A, a little from column B…” Edwin says, with a snicker.

“Alright. Now you’re making no sense…” King says, shaking his fist. But King’s threat of pain and agony is cut shot when…

::BOOM!::

A huge neon-purple pyro goes off in the middle of the entrance-way! Multi-colored strobe-lights flash across the arena as “Rise” by The Cult begin blasting through the speakers of the arena in Cleveland! Smoke hisses out of the entrance way, as Matt Myers emerges from the smoke, looking out at the Ohioans. They greet him with a chorus of boos and cheers, as Myers just shrugs the mixed reaction off as he walks past the fans, and slides under the ring. He runs past Funyon as he jumps up on the middle rope and points out to the fans.

“Laides and gentlemen, from NEW HAVEN, CONNECTICUT…weighing in at 229 POUNDS…representing the SSSSSS-WWWWW-OOOOO…”BROOOTTHHEEERR REEEDDD” MATTT MMMMYYEERRRSSS!” Funyon screeches.

“A mixed reaction for Matt Myers here,” The Suicide King says, “Could the fans be accepting the ways of the sWo?”

“I hope not, King,” Axis says.

“Blah, the fans will always know what’s ring and wrong in this world, and I think that it’ll be right to have a straight-up contest here!” Edwin says, as he leans back in his chair, sipping his coffee that sits with him at his table.

“Hmph! You just enjoy toturing Myers with your little mind games! I swear, one that boy has enough, he’ll snap, like I did with the Carnival!” King sneers, as Edwin glares at him.

“At least Matt has a pair,” Edwin says, taking a low, verbal blow to King. King gives Edwin an evil eye, as the arena stays in it’s darkness…Bach's "Toccata and Fugue in D minor" starts up. After the first few measures (when it gets to the faster part), lots of white lights flash all over the arena…

“This is the new sound…”

“Just like the old sound…”

“Just like the neuce wound…”

“Over new ground…”

Rage Against The Machine’s “Ashes In The Fall” replace Bach’s masterpiece, as Fugue srolls down the entrance ramp. Fugue slides under the bottom rope and into the ring, as Funyon announces him…

“ALSO REPRESENTING THE SWO…” He begins, “Weighing in at 181 Pounds, he is FUUUUUGGGUEEEE!”

“Well, the wrestlers are in the ring, Funyon is running for his dear life, and we’re ready to go. Let’s dance!” Axis says, as the bell rings and we’re on our way!

::Ding! Ding! Diiiing!::

Matt Myers and Fugue stand at opposing turnbuckles for a few moments, as they stare at each other. Myers walks closer to Fugue, who still leans against the turnbuckle. Myers says a few words to Fugue, as Fugue looks away. Myers says some more, until…

::SMACK!::

“Oooooh! What a slap by Fugue into the face of Myers! How disrespectful!” Edwin says.

Myers stumbles backwards, trying to regain his senses, until he runs forward; trying to clothesline Fugue into the turnbuckle, but Fugue uses his quickness to dodge the clothesline, as he delivers a few swift kicks into the gut of Matt Myers, who is trapped in the turnbuckle! Fugue then takes the arm of Matt Myers, as he whips him across the ring as Myers collides with the opposite turnbuckle. He stumbles backwards, toward Fugue, as the music man trips him with a drop-toe hold, as he runs against the ropes and flips into the air, giving Myers a diving senton splash right on to his back! Myers groans in pain as he falls to the mat, as Fugue stumbles on top of him…

ONE!

TWO!

TH—No, Matt Myers kicks out just in time!

“Fugue executed an amazing senton splash on to the back of Matt Myers,” Axis says, “We’re got a martial arts, technical, and high-flying style going against a technical, submission, and high-flying style. It should be interesting to see what these wrestlers come up with!”

Fugue takes Myers by his hair as he whips him into the ropes. Myers comes back at Fugue with a clothesline, but Fugue jumps over Myers, as he delivers a drop-kick right to the chin of the sWo co-leader! Myers goes straight down to the mat, as Fugue runs against the ropes and takes a roll on the ground, as he lets loose a leg drop on the arm of Matt Myers! Myers groans in pain as Fugue gets up again, this time applying a hard armbar!

“Fugue is going to his technical roots for this match,” Edwin says, “Can he makes Myers tap?”

Matt Myers rises to his feet, as he delivers a few jabbing punches to the chest of Fugue. He then delivers a spinning kick to the head of Fugue, as Fugue stumbles away from Myers, as he helps keep himself up by putting him on the rope, trying to regain his senses. Myers then runs toward Fugue, as he slides under the legs of the music man, to the outside of the ring. Fugue turns around as Matt Myers jumps up on the ring apron, as he delivers a high martial arts kick to the head of Fugue that echoes through the arena! Fugues goes straight down, clutching his face.

“OH MY!” Axis screams, “That kick was BRUTAL!”

Myers, seeing Fugue on the ring mat, climbs up to the top turnbuckle, as he takes a leap off and hits a legdrop on the neck of Fugue! He quickly runs on top of Fugue, as the referee counts…

ONE!

TWO!

THR—No, Fugue kicks out just in the knick of time!

“Oooh! Fugue got a shoulder up there!” Edwin says, “Myers is resorting to his martial arts and high-flying to get him by Fugue for this match, and that just might do it. His kicks can extend high, and he’s helluva flexible, so he can probably squirm out of a lot of submission holds that Fugue might enforce!”

“Ah, yes, Edwin, but if Fugue takes out the legs of Myers with submission holds, Myers is helpless! He can’t resort to his high-flying or his marital arts, his legs would be killing him!” Axis acknowledges.

“Oh, would you two shut up?” King says, “I’m trying to watch these two beat the hell out of each other!”

Myers hops off of Fugue, as he picks the music man up by his hair. He delivers a kick to the gut of Fugue, as he puts the head of the sWo member into his curved arm, as he points out to the crowd, and then to the mat, signaling a Buzzkiller DDT…

“A Buzzkiller DDT could put Fugue out here for good…” Axis says.

But Fugue has other plans, as he locks his arms around Myers’ body, as a look of fear and expected pain flash across Matt’s face. Fugue throws Matt over in a Northern Lights Suplex, as Fugue puts in a bridge…but no, he doesn’t go for a pin, as Fugue keeps the hold on and suplexes Matt once more, as Matt’s body falls down hard on the mat! BAM! The sound is devastating! Fugue picks up Matt’s nearly lifeless body once more, as he delivers a final one to Myers, this time letting go. Myers falls down hard on the mat, as he rolls out of the ring. Fugue follows his co-leader.

“Matt Myers coming out here right in front of us,” Edwin acknowledges, “And here comes Fugue, right behind him.

Fugue walks behind Myers, as Matt lets loose a back kick to the gut of Fugue, as Myers leans against the announce table, trying to re-gain his breath. Fugue stumbles back, as Myers turns around and tries to deliver a clothesline to the music maker, but Fugue ducks, as Myers collides with the ring post! Myers stumbles backwards, as Fugue hops up on to the ring apron, as he turns so his back is facing Myers. Myers then looks up to see a crazed Fugue jump off the ring apron and on to the body of Myers, as the sWo co-leader goes tumbling down as the music man comes crashing down upon him!

“Nice standing moonsault from Fugue!” Edwin says.

“Yes, but what about Silent?” The Suicide King questions.

As Edwin groans at the questioning Suicide King, Fugue gets up to his feet, as he takes the fallen Matt Myers by the hair and throws him into the ring. He slides on top of him as the referee begins to count…

ONE!

TWO!

THREE…?! NO! Myers shoots up at almost two and three fourths. Fugue picks up Matt Myers once more, as he whips him into the turnbuckle. Myers collides with the turnbuckle as Fugue follows Mr. Myers, as Fugue begins letting hard, knife-edge chops into the chest of the sWo co-leader!

WOOOOOOOOOO!

The chops…

WOOOOOOOOOO!

Echo through the…

WOOOOOOOOOO!

Arena with impending…

WOOOOOOOOOO!

Force, as the crowd…

WOOOOOOOOOO!

Responds with energetic…

WOOOOOOOOOO!

Woos.

Fugue then takes the wrist of Matt Myers, as he whips him to the opposing turnbuckle. Myers collies with it as well, as Fugue takes a full head of steam and runs straight toward Myers, attempting to ram his ribs, but Matt Myers moves out of the way, as Fugue collies with the turnbuckle post! Myers begins to pull himself up with the help of the ring ropes, as Fugue turns around and tries to get into the center of the ring....Myers runs toward Fugue, who has his back facing him, as he runs past him, but reaches back, and hits a tremendous diamond cutter!

“THE MEMORY!” The Suicide King screams, “MATT MYERS HITS THE MEMORY!”

Myers rolls over on to his stomach, as he looks to see a fallen Fugue. The time is near. He gets up, and instead of making the cover, he walks over to the turnbuckle. He climbs it up, rope by rope, and then he turns around to see Fugue, lying on his back. Myers looks out at the crowd, who urge him on to take a jump that could lead to victory or his downfall…

“Myers has a choice here…will he jump or will he hop down and make the cover…” Axis ponders.

Myers thinks for about two seconds…

And takes a leap off, spinning in the air in a 360 Splash, known to many as ‘Thoughtless’. He spins in the air, but as he comes down, he sees that Fugue has risen to his knees! Like a cobra seeing a running mouse, Fugue reaches out, as he grabs an arm of Myers, pulling him to the mat with tremendous force! He hops on the top of Myers, and he locks his arms on one of Myers’ arms, and he a reaches across toward the other arm, as he applies a leg scissors on the arm!

“MINOR CORD! MINOR CORD! WHAT A REVERSAL!” The Suicide King screams, “IT’S ALL OVER HERE! END OF MATCH! MYERS HAS TO TAP TO THIS DEVISTATING MOVE!”

Matt Myers groans as Fugue leans back and makes the submission even harder. The referee says to Matt, “You wanna give it up?” Myers responds in “No”, which is more like “NOOO-AUUHAGAHHHHHH!”, from the extending pain of the submission hold. Myers sees that if he moves his legs, trying to use them to drag him toward the ropes, inch by inch, his arms aching and his back a feeling as if it was on fire…

He’s closer…

He’s even closer…

He’s EVEN CLOSER…

Myers foot is only a mere centimeter from the rope…

...And he finally gets his foot on it!

“…AND MATT MYERS GETS TO THE ROPE!” Edwin says, “Fugue is going to have to break the hold, but what is the state of Matt Myers?!”

Fugue gets off of Myers, as he groans as he lets the helpless Matt Myers rise to his feet. He delivers a swift kick to the gut of Myers, as he leans him against the ring ropes and bounces him off of them, as Matt Myers comes back at Fugue, but this time he jumps on top of Fugue’s head, spinning down to the ground in a Tornado DDT! The crowd explodes in excitement, as both men are down…

ONE! Both men seem to be out cold…

TWO! No movement yet.

THREE! Myers starts to roll over, but Fugue is still on his back.

FOUR! Fugue has rolled on to his stomach, as he seems to be trying to push himself up…

FIVE! Myers is up on one knee, trying to figure out what his next move is…

SIX! Fugue is on one knee as well. Both men hop up to their vertical base at the same time, as Fugue tries to clothesline down Matt Myers, but Myers ducks under the arm of Fugue, as he delivers a swift kick to the gut of Fugue, and locks in a front face lock, as he picks up the body of Fugue, smashing him down into a Buzzkiller DDT! Myers covers Fugue once more, as it seems that the tide is turning…

ONE!

TWO!

THR—NO! FUGUE KICKS OUT IN THE KNICK OF TIME!

“WOAH! I thought it was all over there…” Edwin says, nearly jumping out of his seat.

Myers picks up Fugue once more, as he whips him across the ropes. Fugue comes back to get a jumping spinning wheel kick delivered to the face of Fugue! The music man goes straight down, clutching his nose, which seems to be busted open! Myers quickly rises to his feet as well, as he lets out a warrior’s scream into the air, as he runs up to the turnbuckle.

“Myers has summoned all his strength to put away Fugue with this final move…” Edwin says, “What could it be?”

Myers climbs up to the top turnbuckle, as he points out to the crowd, as he takes a leap off in a corkscrew moonsault…

As he falls…

Falls…

…AND MISSES! FUGUE MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AS MYERS COLIDES WITH THE MAT! He groans as he grabs his arm, which seems to be injured! Fugue sees that this is the beginning of the end for Matt Myers, as he pulls Myers up so he is sitting, as he reaches down and hooks opponent's arms in a double chicken-wing! Fugue does a flip over the opponent and lands in a bridge--the back of his head is now pressing down on the back of his opponent's head, applying the powerful submission hold called ‘Harmony’ on Matt Myers! Myers screams out loud, as this is probably the most powerful submission he’s ever felt!

“Listen to Matt Myers scream!” Axis says, “I’ve never seen him in this much pain before! Let alone look so much in pain!”

“Fugue is a submission master!” The Suicide King says, “Of course it’s gunna hurt like hell, he’s done this so many times!”

The crowd comes alive, as they start chanting “TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!”. Myers tries to pull himself toward the ropes, as it seems to be working, as his feet get closer and closer…

And closer…

He’s only a mere inch AWAY…

…AS HIS FOOT HITS THE ROPE! THE REFEREE DEMANDS FOR FUGUE TO BREAK THE HOLD!

“MYERS REACHES THE ROPES! UNBELEAVABLE!” Edwin says.

“I DON’T BELIEVE IT! MYERS GOT TO THE ROPES JUST IN TIME TO BREAK FUGUE’S HARMONY, NO PUN INTENDED!” The Suicide King says.

Fugue gets up off of Myers, as he tries to pick up the sWo co-leader…but he walks right into a small package! The referee counts…

ONE!

TWO!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! YES! WAIT! NO! FUGUE KICKS OUT JUST IN TIME!

Both wrestlers slowly rise to their feet, as Fugue tries to clothesline down Matt Myers…but Myers ducks, as with hurting arms and all, puts Fugue on his back, in a Death Valley Driver…

“Oh my god…” Edwin says…

…As he pushes Fugue into a tombstone piledriver position, as he bashes Fugue’s head down on to the mat, as the music man is knocked out cold.

The crowd explodes.

“IT’S OVER!” Edwin screams, “NO ONE KICKS OUT OF THE DEATH MYERS DRIVER!”

But Matt Myers isn’t done.

Matt Myers picks up Fugue once more, this time with burning rage in his eyes. He picks up Fugue, putting the music-man on his back once more in a Death Valley Driver, but this time he pushes Fugue’s legs up into the air, and pushes Fugue’s head down to the ground into a Michinoku Driver! The crowd explodes in amazment of the move, as Myers lays his head down on the mat, as Fugue lays cold and lifeless on the mat!

“OH. MY. GOD.” Edwin says.

“Dear sweet merciful god, what the hell was that?!” Axis says, “That looked like a Michinoku Driver from a DVD position!”

“Myers calls that the Death Myers Driver Two,” The Suicide King says, “I’ve seen him do it. And as you can see. It’s not pretty.”

Myers gets up to his feet as he looks down the lifeless body of Fugue. He puts his foot over Fugue, as he throws his arm into the air.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

::Ding, Ding Ding!::

“Rise” by The Cult blasts over the speakers, as Matt Myers rolls out of the ring, ignoring the nearly-dead Fugue. He begins walking up the entrance ramp, still getting a mixed reaction from the crowd.

“This is over. Mercifully. This is over!” Edwin proclaims.

“Tell me about it,” Axis says, “Matt Myers certainly puts himself over as a force to be reckoned with!”

“And what a match, too. Fugue’s submission holds weren’t enough to hold down the rage of Matt Myers, as we saw Death Myers Driver One and two!” The Suicide King says, “Myers is on a roll, and I don’t think he’s going to stop anytime soon!”

“Well, ladies and gentlemen, don’t go away! We’ve still got a cage match, Insane Luchador goes one-on-one against Jacob Hemsely, and in the main event, a triple threat match where Thor, C.I.A., and Mike Van Siclen go head to head, and Mak Francis, our current World Champion, will act as the special guest referee, where he must choose a winner for the number-one contendership of his title! Don’t move a muscle, lads and lassies, we’ll be right back!” Edwin says, as the camera zooms in on Fugue, who is now beginning to move around on the mat, as the referee tries to help him up to his feet, before star-whiping into a commercial…

August 23, 2002

*~* Commercials cut, showing the sold out Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio immediately showing the ominous cage slowly descending to the ring, with the entire crowd in attendance exploding as it descends. *~*

Axis: “We’re back on Metal… and it is now time for the Cage match, featuring Insane Luchador, and Jacob Helmsley, two veterans in the JL.”

Edwin: “Jacob had a less than stellar return on Crimson when CIA made him tap out…”

King: “Quit living in the past, Edwin… that’s all behind us now…”

Axis: “Anyways… Jacob has a chance to redeem himself in this match against the Insane Luchador in the cage.”

King: “All I can really say is that I hope IL’s got good health insurance… because it’s going to be one hell of a bill when he gets out of the hospital…”

Edwin: “IL’s not a pushover either, King… he can fly and dish out the pain with the best of ‘em…”

Funyon: “Ladies and Gentleman… the following match is the CAGE MATCH… scheduled for one fall!”

*~* As the cage comes to a halt about five inches above the ring apron, Slipknot's "Wait and Bleed" begins to sound out into the arena signaling the crowds in attendance to all give their mixed reactions to the beginning of the Insane one’s music. Receiving more cheers than boos because of the opponent that he is facing IL appears out on the stage receiving an ovation from the crowds nearest to the stage, as the fans in the rest of the arena solemnly clap for their approval. After a few taunting steps out onto the stage extending his arms out in a Raven-esque pose, IL breaks out in a dead run towards the ring, sliding under the cage that was raised a few inches for him and into the middle of the ring while the spotlights on him desperately try to keep up with the incredible sprinting speed of the young energetic man. *~*

Funyon: “Now in the ring… standing at a height of six feet three inches, and weighing in at one hundred and ninety five pounds… hailing from Easton, Pennsylvania, he is the Insane… LUUUCHADOR!”

Axis: “Look at him run…”

Edwin: “IL looks really pumped for this match.

King: “Well, he better be ready because it’s going to be one hell of a fight for him.”

Edwin: “I can’t deny that…”

Axis: “But as Sir Edwin said before, it’s not going to be a walk in the park for Mr. Helmsley either…”

King: “Peh… IL’s a pushover… Jacob can take him any time…”

Edwin: “Riight…”

*~* In the ring, IL is perched on top of the second turnbuckle, staring out at the rousing crowd, allowing people to get rare photo shots of him posing. IL then jumps down onto the mat, and begins to slowly pace himself around the ring staring at the floor, contemplating what he must to do survive in the match ahead of him. Replacing IL’s theme song suddenly is the loud bass beat of “Meaning of Life” by Disturbed, as the ovations from the crowds quickly change into boos as Jacob Helmsley and his manager, Fredrick Hallbrook step out onto the entrance stage and look around at the booing crowd with Fred supporting a wide arrogant grin on his face. *~*

Funyon: “Now coming to the ring, being accompanied by Fredrick Hallbrook… standing at a height of six feet six inches, and weighing in at two hundred and twenty-seven pounds… from Calgary Alberta, Canada, he is the Psycho Mantis… JAAAACOB HELLMSLEY!”

*~* Seemingly calling the action Jacob and Fred begin to slowly walk down the ramp, never taking their eyes off of Insane Luchador, who is locked inside the ominous steel structure. Many fans at ringside want to get high fives from the Psycho Mantis, but to their dismay, Jacob merely walks by them not even making a single move towards them. Focused and determined, Jacob begins to walk in front of his manager, never taking his eyes off of the cage, and never taking his hands off of the pipe he carries with him all of the time. *~*

Edwin: “Uh oh… Jacob’s got that pipe with him… bringing that with him inside the cage would not fare well for IL…”

Axis: “I don’t think the referee is going to let Jacob have the pipe inside anyways!”

*~* Right as always, the referee assigned to stay outside of the cage for the match cuts Jacob off at the path, and demands that Jacob not bring the pipe inside the cage while the fans at ringside all give their approval for the referee’s action. Putting up a massive argument, Jacob gets up into the referee’s face, screaming words at him, while the referee never backs down a single step, yelling his own things back to Jacob. Finally, Fred comes over to the heated argument and takes the pipe from Jacob. After a quick smile from Fred, Jacob’s eyes lighten up and he gives the pipe willingly to his manager. Fred takes the pipe from Jacob, and holds on to the handle of the instrument of destruction, while Jacob climbs up into the doorway of the cage, and into the ring, where a determined IL is standing on the other side of the ring, staring right back at Jacob. *~*

King: “What the hell was that? That referee can’t take Jacob’s pipe away from him!”

Edwin: “Jacob doesn’t need that pipe anyways… he can kick ass even without it…”

Axis: “Well, he’d better… or else he is in some really deep trouble in this match…”

*~* Jacob’s music stops in the background and the lights return to normal showing the two men standing in the middle of the ring staring each other down. While the two men stand staring, the referee closes and locks the steel cage door with a long chain and signals for the match to start. *~*

Axis: “Cage Match! Here we go!”

Edwin: “This is going to be a tough battle for both men…”

*~* Both Jacob and IL begin to walk around the ring in a complete circle, never taking their eyes off of each other as they step. All of the sudden, like a signal of ‘go’ in each other’s head, the two turn to face one another and both men rush into the center of the ring, locking up and fighting for control in the situation. IL gets the upper hand, locking Jacob into a side headlock and begins cranking down on the neck of Jacob, making him drop to one knee momentarily. Jacob pops back up onto his feet though, and whips IL to the ropes, making him break the hold he has on Jacob’s neck. IL bounces back off of the ropes and picks up speed with Jacob in his sights. At the very last moment, right before Jacob can perform a maneuver on IL, the Insane one launches his body into the air, and spins himself upside down into a moonsault like maneuver, knocking Jacob off of his feet and to the floor with IL landing on top of the Psycho Mantis, receiving a roar of approval from the crowd at hand for this match. *~*

Edwin: “What a move from Insane Luchador!”

Axis: “He really caught Jacob off guard on that one…”

King: “Jacob’s going to come back pretty quick here… I know it.”

*~* IL rolls off of his opponent, leaving Jacob lying on the floor clutching his chest in pain. As the crowds around the arena cheer for the Insane High Flyer, IL hauls Jacob up to his feet, and whips him into the turnbuckle. Hitting the turnbuckle, Jacob cringes a little at the toughness of the pad he just hit, totally unaware of IL’s plans. Finally looking up at IL, Jacob catches the last glimpse of the chest of his opponent, as IL comes crashing down upon him for a full-body splash into the turnbuckle. *~*

Axis: “IL is really gaining the upper hand here…”

King: “It’s just a matter of time until Jacob comes back and teaches that High Flying moron a lesson…”

*~* With Jacob in the corner in pain, IL signals out to the crowd that he is going to do something big, getting them pumped. After a few seconds, IL picks Jacob up and places him on the top turnbuckle, getting the crowd really going. IL then scales the turnbuckle himself, using the cage as a ladder, and gets up onto the top turnbuckle himself, holding on to Jacob’s head, and the side of the cage. On the top of the turnbuckle, IL looks out at the sellout crowd and poses in his Crucifix Taunt, picking the cheers from the crowd up considerably, as they anticipate what is going to happen next *~*

Edwin: “IL might be going for the Hurricanrada here… Jacob would be in serious trouble if IL hit this one…”

*~* After finishing his taunts, IL looks arrogantly down at his victim on the top rope and breaks out a wide smile. At the very last moment, IL leaps up onto Jacob’s shoulders, and attempts to pull the Psycho Mantis off of the top rope for the Hurricanrada, but wisely, Jacob grabs on to both sides of the cage, and holds on for dear life, causing IL to fall off of Jacob’s shoulders… without Jacob coming down with him. IL hits the mat full forced, and rolls out into the middle of the ring, as Jacob steps up onto the top of the turnbuckle he’s perched on. Grimacing in pain, IL climbs up to his feet and wonders what happened, when all of the sudden, Jacob leaps off of the top turnbuckle, twists his body into a 360 degree twist, and performs a missile dropkick on Insane Luchador, knocking him mercilessly back to the adjacent turnbuckle from the incredible impact. *~*

Axis: “Jacob got out of the move!”

King: “He hit the ‘Corkscrew’ on IL! Now Jacob’s the one in control of this match.”

Edwin: “IL took too much time taunting… he should have just done the move first.”

*~* The capacity crowd gives Jacob his cheer of approval for his move while in the ring, Jacob is getting up to his feet, still clutching his chest a little. Over next to the turnbuckle, IL is sitting dazed from the impact of the Corkscrew. Jacob walks over to the fallen flyer and picks him up to his feet. After a few words of trash to IL, Jacob grabs his head and throws him powerfully into the side of the cage, making his face smash against the unforgiving steel of the cage. IL bounces back from the ropes that he hit as well, and lands on his back rather hard all the while clutching his face from the incredible impact. *~*

Axis: “Ooh man… Jacob just threw him like a rag doll into that cage…

King: “Now… the carnage begins.”

*~* With a less than satisfied look in his eyes, Jacob picks IL back up to his feet, and throws him face first into the cage once again, only this time, Jacob grinds the poor man’s face on the cage walls, making IL scream in agony, bringing loud ovations of boos from the capacity crowd at the Gund Arena. While Jacob is grinding IL’s face against the steel, Fred Hallbrook, Jacob’s partner in crime has steel himself, in the form of Jacob’s pipe. Fred carefully makes his way in front of Jacob and IL, and in one swift strike, swings the pipe connecting with the face of IL while it’s being grinded against the cage. This brings on even more boos from the crowd, as Jacob lets IL drop to the floor. Immediately when he falls onto the floor, IL clutches his face in extreme pain, as the camera catches a glimpse of a gash in his upper right forehead… through which blood starts to trickle out. *~*

King: “Blood! IL’s bleeding!

Edwin: “Well no shit! That damn buffoon Fred Hallbrook hit him with the pipe!”

Axis: “Can Jacob ever finish a match without Fred getting involved?”

King: “Oh sure… Fred’s just teaching IL not to mess with either of them…”

*~* The camera switches to Fred Hallbrook, who has a wide grin on his face. The referee out at ringside rushes to Fred, gets in front of the much larger man, and screams in his face, pointing to the entrance ramp. Fred looks angrily back at referee, screaming back into his face. Fred clutches the pipe angrily, as the fans at ringside begin to cheer their heads off. *~*

Axis : “That ref’s taking his own life into his hands…”

Edwin: “He’s telling Fred to get the hell backstage!”

*~* Five more referees come down from the back, and get behind Fred, all telling him to get going to the back. After about five seconds of arguing back and forth with the six referees, Fred finally agrees to go to the back, but not without a dirty look on his face. Pipe in hand, Fred walks up the ramp, and to the back to the arena behind the stage, as the crowd in attendance roar in approval of the situation. *~*

Edwin: “Back Hallbrook goes! He’s out of here!”

King: “That’s Bull! They can’t do that!”

Axis: “Sure they can… they’ve got the power at ringside…”

*~* In the ring, Jacob stares questionably at the situation, as his manager makes his way up the ramp, and to the back. Unknown to Jacob though… Insane Luchador pops up to his feet suddenly, and gets ready for a big move, getting the fans in attendance pumped as well. After a long period of time, Jacob turns around expecting to find hid downed opponent, but instead meets the business end of IL’s foot. After a quick pose, IL lunges towards his doubled over opponent, and drives Jacob’s head down to the mat, hitting an Evenflow DDT, to an incredible pop from the crowd in attendance. *~*

Edwin: “Evenflow DDT!”

Axis: “IL’s got this one made!”

*~* Instead of pinning the man, like he should at this point, IL takes one good long look up at the top of the cage while on the floor, Jacob isn’t moving a single muscle in his body. At the first look up at the top of the cage, the entire arena explodes into cheers and chants of ‘go for it!’ as IL breaks out a large ear to ear smile, and begins to climb the side of the cage. *~*

Edwin: “IL’s going to the top of the cage!”

King: “Crazy bastard… he’s going to get himself killed one of these days…”

*~* The entire arena explodes into deafening ovations of cheers, as IL reaches the top of the cage, stands up as tall as he can, and stares greedily down at his upcoming victim, who still hasn’t moved a single muscle. High atop the cage, IL performs his Raven pose one last time, and then leaps off of the top of the cage causing thousands upon thousands of flash bulbs to go off as he flies through the air. *~*

Axis: “Off he goes!”

Edwin: “Jacob hasn’t moves a single muscle since IL hit that Evenflow DDT!”

*~* Midway between the top of the cage and the mat, IL perfoms a complete moonsault, and zeros in on his incoming victim… and… *~*

MISSES!!!!

*~* At the VERY last second before IL completes the move, Jacob rolls himself out of the way, causing IL to come down upon the mat with an explosive SPLAT, bringing on a loud combined groan from the capacity crowd. *~*

Axis: “HE MISSED!”

King: “HA!!! Told you so!”

Edwin: “How in gods name did Jacob move from that?”

*~* Extremely tired and worn out, Jacob claws his way to his feet, and picks IL up with him. The Insane one clutches his chest and stomach in extreme pain while Jacob brings him to his feet. Once up on his feet, Jacob kicks IL in the midsection, and hits a massive “Black Stallion” (Finishing Maneuver- Stalling Hangman’s DDT) on the already worn out man, causing him to fall limp, and the entire arena to boo uncontrollably. *~*

King: “Black Stallion! Black Stallion! Jacob got it!”

Edwin: “Damnit!”

*~* At the top of the ramp, Fred Hallbrook is seen walking down the aisle, while in the ring, his client locks on the “Fear Factor” (Finishing Maneuver- Modified Indian Deathlock) onto the already knocked out IL. The referee outside of the ring checks on the fallen one, and signals for the bell, as IL isn’t even moving… let alone responding in the maneuver. The entire arena blows up in ovations of boos as the cage begins to raise up off of the apron of the ring, and Funyon starts his final statement. *~*

King: “JACOB WON!!! JACOB WON!!!”

Funyon: “The winner of this match… as a result of a knock out… the ‘Psycho Mantis’… JAAACOB HELLMSLEY!!!”

*~* Jacob rolls out of the ring right into the presence of his manager, and the two begin to slowly walk up the ramp while five or six EMTs roll into the ring to check on the barely conscious IL. *~*

Axis: “Insane Luchador put up a valiant fight in this match… but it was Jacob who came out on top.”

King: “Admit it… Jacob was just too much for Insane Luchador to handle.”

Edwin: “IL did have his moments in the match…”

King: “But that’s all they were… moments.”

Axis: “Well, coming up next is the much anticipated Main Event… the Triple Threat elimination match between CIA, Mike Van Siclen, and Thor, for number one contendership to the World Championship!

*~* The scene fades to commercials, as Jacob and Fred both walk victoriously up the ramp and to the back of the arena. *~*

August 23, 2002

Axis: Ladies and gentlemen, this is it. We have come to the main event here on SJL Metal. In this colossal match, we have C.I.A. facing Thor, facing Mike Van Siclen for the number one contendership for the SJL World championship. As if these three men brutalizing each other wasn’t enough, we have a complete wild card thrown in the mix... the addition of a special referee... World champion Mak Francis!

King: And what a referee he will be! You know, the beauty part of this match is that Mak Francis can basically choose who he wants to fight for the title.

Edwin: Yes, well I didn’t add him on there for no reason. My reasoning is that somebody has got to take that title away from him and any one of these three men could do it.

King: You don’t use reason.

Edwin: Oh... yeah. Forgot about that. Well anyways this should be one hell of a main event!

With Edwin’s words of wisdom, Funyon who is leaning casually on a turnbuckle, steps forward to the center of the ring. His blue crushed velvet suit reeks of mothballs so badly that a nearby cameraman actually begins to dry heave. Not at all phased by the attempted vomiting of the techie, Funyon begins to speak in his firm, enthusiastic baritone. “Ladies and gentlemen! Our next bout is the main event, and it is for the number one contendership to the World title! Introducing first, serving as the special guest referee for this fight, he is the World champion... ‘THE FRANCHISE’ MAAAK FRAANCISSSS!!”

[are you ready?]

“Down with the Sickness” begins to play and the various accomplishments of Mak Francis float across the SmarkTron.

[Are You Ready?!]

Blue and white strobe lights begin to flash across the arena, followed by a blue and white photo negative of Francis on the screen.

[‘CAUSE THE FRANCHISE IS HERE!!]

Boos and jeers of all shapes and forms fill the air as Mak Francis steps through the curtain and the fans respond accordingly as his mere presence infects them. The virus that is the World champ walks cheerfully down the aisle, his championship belt slung over his shoulder, and sporting a referee’s shirt that is tucked into his tights, showing off his nicely built upper body. He gets down to the ring and calmly walks up the steel steps and wipes his feet off before entering the ring. The hatred of the fans completely blocks out the sound of Mak’s music as he takes the time to display his snazzy referee shirt and hold his hands in the air like an antennae for the boos.

Edwin: Well, he had to come down sometime.

Axis: I honestly think that these people legitimately HATE this man!

King: Oh, you don’t know what hate is.

The champion walks around the ring and finally holds his title belt in the air for the fans to focus their attention on, rather than waiting for one of their favorite wrestlers to come out. The lights dimming down slowly to nothingness boos suddenly silence the heavy mass of. LL Cool J’s “Shut ‘Em Down” begin to rock the house and the crowd begins to cheer, at a song they’ve been booing at seemingly forever. A single blue spotlight cuts through the darkness illuminating the stage, and the lone figure standing on it.

Mike Van Siclen is obviously taken back by the tremendous ovation of the crowd, it’s been too long since he’d been cheered. As he walks down the ramp, golden sparks rain down on the stage, signifying that tonight is his turn to shine. He reaches the ring and steps through the ropes and glares at Mak Francis who is leaning against the ropes as nonchalantly as possible. MVS quickly strikes a pose, causing the crowd to crest their cheers for the “Amazin’ One”.

Edwin: Wow, this crowd is responding quite well to a man that they’ve been booing for quite some time.

King: The boy has his priorities confused. He’s not gonna get anywhere without Mak and the sWo, he NEEDS them.

Axis: That remains to be seen but the reaction he is receiving from his fans speaks for itself.

Just then the lights go out and a blue spotlight shines on the entrance ramp, while the first few chords of KISS “God of Thunder” strike up and the fans roar their approval. A lightning bolt comes hurtling down and crashes into the stage causing it to fill with smoke, illuminated in an eerie way by the blue spotlight. The music starts to surge and just when the lyrics start to kick in two blue and white pyros shoot off in opposite directions as the Thunder God himself steps through the billowing smoke.

He marches down the ramp and high fives some of his loyal fans along the way. He gets to the bottom of the entrance ramp and stops, he then holds his tremendous arms in the “tough guy” pose, while still holding his massive hammer. He hands his hammer and his cape to an official and steps up to the ring apron and over the top rope with one swift move. Thor and MVS glance at each other for a second, not angrily, simply focused. The two wrestlers then crack an odd smile and step out of the ring.

King: Oh, now what was that smile all about?

Axis: Could it possibly be that they simply respect each other King?

Edwin: Nah, MVS has only been a good guy for a couple of days.

On the word good guy the lights change from their usual white, to a red haze all over the arena. On the SmarkTron appears a Canadian flag, waving proudly in the breeze, and the speakers play an instrumental version of the first line of “O’ Canada”... until...

BOOM!!

Red pyrotechnics explode all over the stage, rocking the house, while little red specs of glitter rain down and “Secret Agent Man” begins to play but can barely be heard over the tremendous cheers the fans are emitting from their very hearts.

The Canadian Dream himself steps through the curtain, wearing his trademark leather jacket, with a microphone in hand and a smile on his face. He begins in his all too familiar voice “Ladies and gentlemen!” he is cut off by a tremendous pop from the fans. After a moment or two he begins again “Welcome to the main event! I hope you good folks took the time between matches to go and buy yourselves a Canadian beer, because your not gonna want to miss ANY of the action in this match. So get ready to have your eyes opened boys, cause I’m bringing it CANADIAN STYLE!!” That last comment sparks the crowd to cheer like wild animals.

Edwin: Wow, these fans really DO love CIA!

Axis: The fans with a seemingly endless supply of cheers for CIA.

King: Bah!

CIA slaps hands with the rest of the fans as he gets down the ramp to the ring. He steps to the second turnbuckle and poses for the crowd, who respond as usual. He then hops down into the ring and removes his leather jacket and tosses it outside, the Canadian flags under each arm fluttering in the air as it pirouettes to the ground. Mak calls all three men to the center of the ring for the usual “No biting, no hair pulling, blah, blah, blah” talk. Mak then demands that they all shake hands. The wrestlers look at each other and then without batting an eye, give each other high fives, which sends the crowd wailing their excitement and prompting Francis to roll his eyes and sneer his lip.

Mak sort of half-heartedly instructs the timekeeper to ring the bell to start the match.

DING!! DING!! DING!!

The three gold-hungry men stand in the ring, but not very long after the bell rings do Van Siclen and CIA look at each other and decide to go after Thor. The two men charge the big man and begin to lay into him with lefts and rights, trying to find some way to take Thor down. Finally slightly staggered, CIA and MVS whip Thor into the ropes, he comes back and they attempt a double clothesline, which Thor ducks. He bounces off the other ropes and comes back full force, annihilating his opposition with a stiff double clothesline.

Axis: It might just be better for Mike and CIA to go after Thor together. If they get the big problem out of their way, they’ll only have to fight each other.

Edwin: How do you suppose Mak is gonna call this match? Fair? Biased? And if biased, towards whom? All these questions answered today on “As the World Turns”.

King: Of course Mak is gonna call this match fairly. Why this man has never taken a shortcut in his entire career. He has never done anything against anyone else. That’s why he’s the champ.

Both CIA and Van Siclen get up and begin pelting Thor with punches, which culminates in CIA delivering a dropkick, knocking Thor through the ropes to the floor. MVS and CIA then turn to each other and out of his surprise, CIA is caught with a boot to the gut. MVS takes CIA to the mat with a swinging neckbreaker. Mike waits for CIA to get up, almost goading him to do so. When he stands, Van Siclen goes for a right hand but CIA stops it and locks on a side headlock.

CIA squeezes on the hold until MVS has had enough, at which point he pushes CIA forward, forcing him to release the hold. CIA uses the momentum from Siclen’s shove to bounce off the ropes, when he charges for the attack, MVS is ready and waiting for him and catches him with a backdrop. Mike refuses to complete the maneuver, however, as he holds onto CIA’s legs, causing the fans to cheer loudly. The fans believe that MVS is going to attempt the Van Slaminator but CIA has other plans as he wiggles and rolls MVS into a small package. Mak Francis cleanly counts the roll-up.

1

.

2

Mike Van Siclen kicks out of the surprise hold.

Axis: Wow, nice bit of wrestling from these two. A kick out by MVS after being caught with CIA’s small package.

Edwin: Hey, I don’t think CIA would appreciate that kind of talk mister!

Axis: What? *long pause* OH!! No, I didn’t mean small package in that sense.

King: Already dissing CIA and I haven’t said a word. It’s a good night.

CIA is up first and he back against the ropes for a spot of rest after that quick bout of chain wrestling. He receives no rest as Thor is there to greet him by holding him down against the ropes by his neck and slamming his forearm against his chest. CIA falls down by the ropes and allows Thor to step over top and into the ring. Mike has reached his feet and now turns around expecting to find CIA, instead a fired up Thor grabs him around the neck. Thor lifts up MVS in chokeslam position and holds him for a while.

Perhaps longer than he should have as Van Siclen struggles and kicks Thor in the stomach, causing Thor to drop him. Thor stumbles back and MVS takes full advantage of the situation by wrapping his arm around Thor’s neck and executing a perfect DDT. Mike then goes to the turnbuckle and climbs to the top, still favoring that injured left leg from his match with Mak, and there he stands, facing the crowd. Because he is facing the crowd, MVS is not aware that CIA has risen and is standing behind him, egging the crowd to cheer even louder than they would for Van Siclen alone. CIA makes MVS aware of his ruse and yanks him backward from his perch, crashing into the canvas.

Axis: CIA was making a little joke there at Mike Van Siclen’s expense.

Edwin: CIA? Joking? No way!

King: Edwin MacPhisto... Master of Sarcasm!

Mike lays on the mat, not too happy about CIA’s cunning move. CIA however is scaling the turnbuckle as well. He reaches the second turnbuckle to a phenomenal engorgement of cheers, but instead of hitting Mike Van Siclen, he nails Thor who has just staggered around to face him, with a huge axe handle smash. Thor falls backward into the ropes and CIA sees his window of opportunity. The Canadian Dream charges forward and spins, amounting momentum, and nails a groggy Thor with the Roaring Elbow, knocking the big man down.

CIA quickly makes the cover, hoping to make the contest one on one as quickly as possible. Mak Francis is waiting to make the cover just like a good referee, suspicious considering his past history with all competitors involved.

1

.

2

.

A boot to CIA’s back breaks up the count, courtesy of Mike Van Siclen. CIA stands and he and MVS exchange punches until Thor stands without either of his opponents noticing and brings their heads together with a clunk.

Axis: CIA hits the Roaring elbow, but the pin was stopped by MVS.

Edwin: We mustn’t forget that miraculous display of athleticism by Thor!

King: ... You mean smashing the two guys’ heads together?

Edwin: Exactly.

Van Siclen is quick to get to his feet after Thor’s unorthodox attack and hits the big man with a boot to the midsection. Mike then tucks Thor’s head between his legs, he lifts as if for a powerbomb, but he can’t lift him high enough. He struggles again but this time, Thor simply stands up, still holding on to Van Siclen’s legs. He cracks a quick smile before slamming him back down in the Asgardian slam. It looks as though Thor is going for the cover but CIA is right there to prevent just such an occurrence with a knee to the face.

Thor stumbles back but CIA is quick to capitalize on his situation with a spinning heel kick. Thor is knocked back into the turnbuckle and Thor gets inspired. He walks to the corner and climbs to the second rope, holds up his fist, and makes the crowd go wild. He rears back and smashes his fist into Thor’s skull while the fans count along.

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE!!

FOUR!!

FIVE!!

SIX!!

SEVEN!!

EIGHT!!

NINE!!

The crowd yells “TEN!!” but CIA does not get that last punch as Thor lifts him up and brings him back down in a sit-out powerbomb.

Axis: CIA perhaps showboating a bit too much for Thor’s taste.

Edwin: You can never showboat too much! *Edwin turns around and stands on his chair, arms out for the crowd who respond with an avalanche of cheers*

King: Sit down Mr. Cheap Pop.

Thor stands up and looks at his handy work but is suddenly broken from his glance by a forearm to his back from Mike Van Siclen. Thor is stunned enough to allow MVS time to put Thor in DDT position, and without a moments notice Mike slides under Thor bringing him down with the Russian Roulette. The crowd cheers like mad when Van Siclen makes the cover. Mak suddenly looks off...

deep in thought... .

and remembers something...

then makes the count slowly...

1

.

2

.

Thor kicks out at Mak’s slow two and a half. Mike Van Siclen gets up with a look of both anger and confusion and gets in Mak Francis’ face. Mak attempts to defend his decision but doesn’t have to for long as CIA is now up and he attacks Mike from behind with a reverse belly to back suplex, sending Mike to the other side of the ring. The fans pop for the move as CIA gets to his feet and moves towards MVS and helps him to his feet by his bleached blonde hair. CIA whips Van Siclen into the ropes and he nails him with the Bionic Elbow.

Edwin: Nice Bionic Elbow by CIA. What was with the slow count by Mak, he was playing fair at first.

Axis: I’m not sure Edwin, but I have an idea.

King: What slow count? That’s a load of bunk.

Capitalizing on his Bionic Elbow, CIA attempts to further administer damage to MVS, but Thor has gotten to his feet and has other plans for CIA. Thor simply lifts CIA up over his head in Gorilla press fashion and presses him once... twice... he attempts a third but CIA struggles, and flips himself forward and hooks his arm around Thor’s head ala DDT. Thor sees CIA’s plan and instead of going down head first, Thor pulls CIA’s legs towards him and slams him to the mat in a modified powerbomb.

CIA is seeing stars as Thor stands and flexes his generous biceps for the crowd, who cheers for their God of Thunder. Thor’s revelry is short lived as he gets a surprise, Mike Van Siclen attempts to grab Thor from behind. Thor is perturbed by this and shoves MVS backward into the ropes. Mike bounces off and leapfrogs over Thor’s back. He bounces against the other ropes and Thor drops to the mat, causing MVS to steps over him while running. Expecting to bounce off the other ropes, Van Siclen continues on his merry way... except CIA is there to greet him with a heavy dropkick.

Axis: WOW!! Didn’t see that one coming. MVS leapfrogs over Thor’s back and comes back but Thor drops to the mat and Van Siclen is planted by a HEAVY dropkick from the Canadian Intelligence Agent!

Edwin: Marvelous display of athleticism by all three men.

King: And what about Mak? I’d say he’s doing a fine job of refereeing.

Edwin: Yes King, you would.

After the dropkick MVS tumbles back but he trips over Thor’s body and lands in a perfect pinning position for Thor which he takes full advantage of.

1

.

2

.

CIA breaks up the cover. Thor and CIA stand at the same time and argue about the pin. The Canadian Dream shoves Thor and Thor shoves back, suddenly they just start hammering at each other with short rights until MVS gets to his feet and nails Thor with a sit-out jawbreaker.

MVS gets up after this move and goes for the double leg wishbone but CIA instead grabs Mike in a hammerlock position which Van Siclen immediately fights with back elbows. He fights out of it and bounces off the ropes and CIA catches him with a knee to the breadbasket, which promptly knocks the wind out of him. It also allows CIA to put him back in hammerlock position and hit a Northern Lights suplex and makes the cover with the crowd swelling with cheers behind him.

Mak pauses...

remembers something...

and counts slowly...

1

.

2

.

Van Siclen gets the shoulder up.

Axis: He wouldn’t...

Edwin: Wouldn’t what? Out with it man!

Axis: I don’t want to say until I am completely sure. After all he might just be being a bad guy.

King: Bad guy, shmad guy! Mak has done more for this company than any other superstar in it has.

Through his maple leaf mask it is clear that CIA is not happy. He gets up and tries to tell Mak that he counted slowly with Mak yelling back at him about some mindless dribble. In disgust CIA turns away and gets planted with a big boot to the face. The owner of that boot is the God of Thunder Thor who bounces against the ropes attempting to inflict more punishment on CIA but is stopped by a huge superkick from MVS. The crowd pops at the big time move, which staggers Thor back into the turnbuckle.

Van Siclen then quickly moves to the top turnbuckle and, learning from his mistake last time, leaps off quickly in a moonsault landing squarely on CIA who was almost stirring. “The Amazin’ One” makes the cover.

1

.

2

.

Thor just barely reaches in time as he pulls Mike up by his hair, tucks his head firmly between his legs, flips him up and slams him hard to the mat with a powerbomb. Thor goes for the cover.

Mak drops to the mat...

remembers the last time...

and outright refuses to count!

Axis: I KNEW IT!! My suspicions were right! Mak is refusing to make a proper count for the moves that that person executed on Mak in a previous match.

King: Come again?

Axis: Van Siclen hitting the Russian Roulette, CIA hitting the Northern Lights Suplex out of a hammerlock. Mak was in those same situations with each of the other wrestlers and it almost allowed Mak to be beaten. And Thor hitting that powerbomb, which was the move that allowed Thor to pin Mak and take his TV title.

Edwin: I see! How do you remember all of those things Axis?

Axis: I’ve had a lot of spare time lately... um...

King: He means he has no social life.

Thor’s face is as red as his hair as he stands up to politely tell Mak what he did wrong. He looks as though he’s about to kill Francis when he is interrupted by a forearm to the back by a shaky CIA. He spins Thor around and drills him several times in the face to daze him. When the beast is properly sedated CIA whips him to the ropes and hits Thor with a Bionic Elbow, knocking him firmly to the mat. CIA decides Thor has had enough and turns to focus his energies on MVS.

MVS is helping himself up by means of the ropes and when he finally reaches his feet he is greeted only by the unforgiving boot of CIA’s spinning heel kick. CIA holds his jaw in pain and turns around facing the crowd. The Canadian Dream then locks his arms firmly underneath Mike’s arms and behind his head in a full nelson. The crowd cheers in anticipation of what’s to come as he suplexes “The Amazin’ One” to the middle of the ring.

Axis: It looks like CIA will be going for the Air Canada!

Edwin: Call the local airport and inform traffic control that there is not a bogie, it is the former World champion!

King: At least there’ll be one less loser in the ring.

True to the phenomenal prediction from Axis, CIA indeed goes to the top rope and faces the crowd. He jokingly waves goodbye to them before leaping off in an incredible display of human achievement, hitting a moonsault but twisting slightly in the air and landing on MVS in a perfect elbow drop. He makes the cover and Mak hesitates but in the end he goes along with it, extracting a small bit of revenge on Mike Van Siclen but at what cost? Helping out his enemy, CIA. There has to be a pin sometime.

1

.

2

.

3

DING!! DING!! DING!!

Some of the crowd sighs at the decision but most of them are torn between this battle of their favorite good guys. Funyon pipes up from his seat at ringside “Mike Van Siclen has been eliminated! The match is now between CIA and Thor!” CIA and Thor both stand, catching their breath and looking at MVS as he struggles to his feet. He walks over to both of them, breathing heavily, and holds up his hands for high fives. Thor and CIA respond by giving high fives as MVS slowly steps through the ropes and starts his walk to the back.

Axis: One HELL of an effort by Mike Van Siclen. The match is now down to just CIA and Thor.

Edwin: Well all three men involved has worked very hard to get this shot, and now these two fine athletes will do their damndest to defeat each other.

King is sticking his fingers in his mouth as a mocking sign of wanting to vomit.

Edwin: What’s wrong King? You want food? There’s trouble? Trouble at the farm?! Farms have chickens...

As MVS walks back up the ramp, he gets a respectful amount of applause. CIA is not happy with it though as it seems Van Siclen is a little down, so he grabs a mic. He begins to speak “Hey how about we hear it one more time for ‘The Amazin’ One’ Mike Van Siclen eh?!” The crowd then erupts in cheers and MVS peps up just a little bit, his enormous ego stroked just enough to stand with his arms outstretched for the crowd, he lost the match, but he’s satisfied enough for now.

CIA turns his mic off and tosses it back to ringside as the fans’ applause dies down. Thor and CIA circle each other while calculating a strategy. CIA stops and looks at the crowd and then smiles beneath his mask. He holds his hands up with his fingers outstretched. The crowd buzzes as Thor grins and accepts the test of strength. CIA puts all his might into his fingers, as he squeezes away and his face wrenches and contorts showing his struggle. Thor shows little emotion at all except for boredom until CIA finally realizes what he’s done.

Axis: CIA is just a tad outmatched in the strength department I’d say.

Edwin: Thor is a mountain of a man to be sure, but I think CIA might have the experience advantage to take him down.

King: They both suck, hopefully Mak will come to his senses and declare himself the number one contender to his own title. Now that’d be an interesting match!

Thor finally starts to put forth effort but breaks free the hold by tossing CIA in the corner by his fingers. Thor goes into the opposite turnbuckle and then charges with a mighty roar and splashes nothing but padding as CIA moved out of the way just in time. Thor stumbles back and CIA takes the advantage and whips Thor the short distance into the turnbuckle. CIA takes a page out of Thor’s book and chops Thor across the chest drawing a “WHOOO!!” from the crowd. He chops again and gets another “WHOOO!!”.

CIA then rears ridiculously far back for the third big chop and receives a brutal kick to the stomach. Thor reverses the positions and chops CIA’s chest with a huge slapping noise bringing a “WHOOO!!” from the troglodytes. He brings his arm down hard across his “Made in Canada” t-shirt and gets another “WHOOO!!”. Thor decides he’s had enough and goes to whip CIA into the other turnbuckle but brings him right back and flattens him with a short arm clothesline.

Edwin: Big chops to the chest all around, WHOOO!!

King: Calm down there Flair.

Thor grabs CIA up by his head and then picks him up in a suplex but CIA escapes the hold and slides down Thor’s back and rolls him up in a pinning position and urges Mak to count but he doesn’t do so. CIA gets up quickly after his failed pinning attempt and gets chest to chest with Mak who complains about CIA having a hand full of tights. The two argue and look like they’re getting hot when Thor breaks the tension and spins CIA around into his mitt of a hand and lifts him up and slams him down in a chokeslam.

Thor slaps Mak firmly but not aggressively on his chest and demands that he count the pin. Thor hooks CIA’s leg but Mak is just standing with his arms folded, refusing to count. He says that since Thor slapped him, he’s not going to make the count. Thor stands up livid and glares down at Francis, “The Franchise” defends his decision adamantly by making odd expressions with his hands. Thor finally snorts in Mak’s face and turns back to his opponent.

Edwin: We’re not even going to see a pinfall here, Mak won’t count either man as winner!

King: Haha, this is great!

Axis: Well the World champion seems reluctant to allow anyone to get ahead in this match, but how are we going to choose a number one contender if the “referee” wont even make the count.

CIA is just getting to his feet as Thor turns around and tucks CIA’s head between his legs. CIA realizes one of two things is going to happen, one: He could be powerbombed... bad. Two: He could be hit with the Ragnarok... really bad. CIA makes a desperation maneuver and simply charges forward as fast and as hard as he can, slamming Thor into the turnbuckle, forcing him to release the hold. CIA then quickly gets his second wind and begins to punch Thor in the face repeatedly until he is dazed.

With all the strength left in his body, CIA whips Thor into the opposite turnbuckle. Thor waits in the corner for a second and then steps forward, probably not knowing where he is. CIA gets an idea and goes behind Thor and locks on a Dragon Sleeper. For a moment, Thor stumbles around with CIA on his back, but after a moment he slows down and falls slowly to the mat. CIA still holds onto Thor’s neck hoping to subdue the beast as the ref picks up Thor’s arm and lets it drop, Thor is out. The referee lifts the arm again and again it drops. The referee grabs Thor’s arm for the final test but Thor lifts both his arms and begins to shake, trying to get the crowd behind him, which they soon do.

Axis: CIA with the Dragon Sleeper but it still wasn’t enough to put the big man down.

Edwin: I’ve seen that move take down many a grappler in the past and it almost had Thor too.

King: Bah!

The crowd cheers for Thor and once they reach a certain volume, Thor stands up with CIA still holding on to his neck. Thor begins to shake and shimmy, trying in any way to get The Canadian Dream off hi back but to no avail. Suddenly Thor actually runs with CIA on his back and jumps to the bottom turnbuckle, using his added height to flip himself backwards and sandwich CIA between himself and the mat. The crowd yells “OOOH!!” at the site and both men lie unmoving in the middle of the ring. Mak begins his count.

ONE!!

TWO!!

Motionless...

THREE!!

FOUR!!

CIA stirs...

FIVE!!

SIX!!

Thor begins to stir...

Mak speeds up his count, trying to get both men disqualified.

EIGHT!!

NINE!!

TE...

Both men get to their feet with a little motivation from the crowd. With the crowd roaring wildly, Mak strokes his chin in thought. CIA and Thor are completely out of it, trading slow, groggy right hands, simply out of instinct. Without any other ideas, Mak decides to take matters into his own hands. He bails out of the ring and grabs himself a steel chair.

Edwin: What the hell does Mak think he’s doing?!

Axis: Mak Francis may be trying to get both men disqualified.

King: See, Mak is smart enough to know that when wrestlers don’t do what you want, make ‘em do it!

Mak has to wrestle a chair from the hands of Funyon, who puts up one hell of a fight. Mak eventually gets the weapon/sitting mechanism from the ring announcer and lays him out flat with it. In the ring CIA and Thor’s punches now pick up some speed as the crowd grows louder and louder. Thor finally stops it with a kick to the stomach just as Mak slides back in the ring. Thor whips CIA into the ropes but CIA gets dropped with a vicious chair shot from Mak.

Thor has no time to see this however as his big boot, instead of crashing into the face of the Canuck, smashes the chair into Mak’s face. Mak falls right beside CIA but Thor just barely realizes what has happened so he points to the corner, causing the crowd to erupt in cheers. Thor goes to the corner and gets to the top rope, he turns around and raises his arms to Valhalla above and leaps off, driving the elbow into CIA’s sternum and the rest of his body lands on Mak. Thor hooks the leg for the cover, but Mak is knocked out. Thor realizes this and lifts Mak’s own arm off the mat for the count, causing the crowd to chant along with the drop.

ONE!!

Thor lifts his arm again...

TWO!!

He lifts Mak’s arm again...

THREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Thor then signals for the bell as the crowd erupts in cheers.

DING!! DING!! DING!!

Edwin: Is that even legal?

Axis: Well, nobody ever said the ref had to be conscious for the count to be made.

King: That’s bullshit! I can’t believe they’re even going to count that! Its a god damned travesty! How can they even think of giving that big fake a title shot after the shit he just pulled?!

Axis: Like it or not, Thor just may get a title shot. Wait... I’ve just gotten word that the referees are going to debate if the three count was legal or not.

Neither of the three men in the ring move very much until Thor sits up and moves some hair from his eyes. He slowly gets to his feet while the fans cheer, unknowing and uncaring as to the legitimacy of the pin. A bunch of referees come out from the curtain and jog down the entrance ramp as Thor leans in one turnbuckle and CIA is just getting to his feet. The referees talk in front of the announcers table in a huddle.

Should the pin be counted?

Mak wasn’t aware at the time!

The hand did strike the mat three times!

But Mak wasn’t in control.

Numerous murmurs are heard from ringside as the refs wave hands and argue amongst themselves. Mak Francis is now up and is being joined by his sWo buddies as they march down the ramp, conspicuous by his absence is Spike Jenkins. Thor and CIA stand on one side of the ring, the sWo on the other. They take turns staring at each other, and at the pile of zebra shirts at ringside. The tension is so thick in the Gund Arena, you could cut it with a dull butter knife.

King: Well what’s the decision already?!

Edwin: Give them time, they know what they’re doing.

Axis: Well I for one honestly don’t know if the pin should be counted. Mak was unconscious, but his hand did make the three count.

Edwin: I think he should get it. After all, Mak did take out his opponent and try to hit him with the shovel.

King: That lousy bastard shouldn’t get the shot. He cheated when he kicked that chair in Mak’s face. He should be disqualified immediately.

The good guys on one side of the ring and the bad guys on the other, they are just waiting to see who came out. They are both inches away from attacking each other as they growl and sneer at each other. The whole arena goes quiet as the referees stop moving and yelling. Finally they all stand up and the senior official whispers to Funyon, who nods and speaks into his mic. “Here is your winner...”

The arena holds its breath...

The men in the ring wait anxiously...

The announcers sit with their mouths agape, drooling...

A pin drops and everybody looks towards it...

“The number one contender to the World championship...”

“THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRR!!!!!”

The arena explodes upon hearing the joyous news and Thor’s theme music may or may not start up, the cheers are so loud that few would notice or even care if the music came on in the first place. In the ring Thor and CIA turn and face each other and CIA extends his hand for a handshake, which Thor instantly accepts. The sWo are furious, shaking their heads, stamping their feet, punching the turnbuckle with rage. Suddenly they realize that they don’t have to take the defeat lying down and the wicked heels attack the number one contender and the former champ.

Thor and CIA try their best to fight them off but are unable to do so as the might of the men overcomes them. Suddenly Mike Van Siclen runs down to the ring and jumps in, throwing punches left and right, and the odds are partially evened as both good and evil are fighting in the ring. Thor is seen picking up Y2K and tossing him out of the ring while MVS kicks Fugue in the gut and he falls out from between the ropes. Matt Myers and Mak Francis both bail out of the ring as the lone stable in the JL regroups in front of the ring. The good guys stand, catching their breath and yelling at the bad guys as Axis gives his closing statement.

Axis: Wow, Thor is now the number one contender for the World title! It seems as though good has prevailed of evil tonight! For Edwin MacPhisto and The Suicide King, thanks for watching SJL MEEEETAAAAALLL!!

August 23, 2002

Summary!

Cutthroat vs. Kamikaze

Some strange commentary during this match, but Kamikaze pulls it out and defeats the no showing bitch Cutthroat with a top rope head BUTT.

- Spike Jenkins is just weird. But he did a halfway decent job of making Thor look stupid. I wonder if this will have an effect on Thor’s match later tonight.

Fugue vs. Matt Myers

Death Myers Driver Part One…but no…Fugue is a no selling bitch…so then what? DEATH MYERS DRIVER 2!!! Oh my god what an original name!! Either way, it puts Fugue down for the 1…2…3!

Insane Luchador vs. Jacob Helmsley

The pipe wielding psycho is back, and so is his Black Stallion…which takes out Insane Luchadore.

Thor vs. MVS vs. CIA

Talk about your controversial endings…I’m not sure what the official rule book says, but Thor is the #1 contender, and that’s all that matters. Crazy leaguers bending the rules…

All Hail Thor…God of Thunder and the Default Win!!!

Sign In

SJL Metal (August 22, 2002)

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