Guest converge241 Report post Posted August 23, 2002 Since September 11, 2001, Americans have come together as never > >before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome > >tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own > >soil, wars overseas, corporate scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock > >price plunges, droughts, fires, and a myriad of economic and > >physical disasters both great and small. But now, we must come > >together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet. > > > >Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are > >living at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure > >salary level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be > >deprived of their life giving pay for several months, possibly > >longer, as a result of the upcoming strike situation. But you can > >help! > > > >For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the > >cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player > >remain economically viable during his time of need. This > >contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the > >annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will > >help! > > > >Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball > >player it could mean the difference between spending the strike > >golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven > >hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage > >payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a baseball player, > >$700 will partially replace his daily salary. > > > >Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy > >that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a > >new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio. > > > >HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING? > > > >Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the > >player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, > >401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to > >your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive > >an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the strike on a > >beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include > >an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind > >you of other peoples' suffering. > > > >HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING? > > > >Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just > >wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know > >your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a > >special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen > >expenses. > > > >YES, I WANT TO HELP! > > > >I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is > >checked below: > > > >[ ] Infielder > >[ ] Outfielder > >[ ] Starting Pitcher > >[ ] Ace Pitcher > >[ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a > >specific team - $10 per minute) > >[ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day) > > > >Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the > >player for the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of > >the player I have sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 > >Income Statement and my very own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin > >to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat). > > > >Your Name: _______________________ > >Telephone Number: _______________________ > >Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______ > >[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover > >Signature: _______________________ > > > >Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit): > >Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______ > >[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover > >Signature: _______________________ > > > >Mail completed form to MLB Players Union or call 1-900-F%*&-THE-FANS > >now to enroll by phone ($10 per minute). > > > >Disclaimer: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player they > >have sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but > >not limited to, telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties. > >Contributions are not tax-deductible. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest alkeiper Report post Posted August 23, 2002 Not bad. I'd like to see something like that written up about Carl Pohlad's current push for a new $400 million mallpark in Minnesota, to be built with taxpayer money. If he doesn't get it, he'll get rid of the team. You know what makes it sad? The fact that its not a joke. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest DragonflyKid Report post Posted August 23, 2002 That was hilarious, I can just picture Sally f'n Struthers on a commercial next to a sad looking A-Rod while explaining the plight of major league baseball players. A few weeks ago I heard about a baseball player lamenting the fact he would have to hold off buying another luxury car because of the uncertainty of an impending strike. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vern Gagne Report post Posted August 23, 2002 Not bad. I'd like to see something like that written up about Carl Pohlad's current push for a new $400 million mallpark in Minnesota, to be built with taxpayer money. If he doesn't get it, he'll get rid of the team. You know what makes it sad? The fact that its not a joke. **prays** a new deal is reached... Glenn Taylor buys the Twins and a new stadium is built. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest kkktookmybabyaway Report post Posted August 23, 2002 Wow, that almost brings a tear to my eye. Who should I make the check out to? At least I'll know where my money is going, unlike all those 9/11 funds... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest alkeiper Report post Posted August 23, 2002 A few weeks ago I heard about a baseball player lamenting the fact he would have to hold off buying another luxury car because of the uncertainty of an impending strike. That's almost as good as Rangers' owner Tom Hicks lamenting that the players are overpaid while talking from his luxery yacht. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest kkktookmybabyaway Report post Posted August 24, 2002 The same Tom Hicks with a $100 million+ payroll? OK then... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest phoenixrising Report post Posted August 24, 2002 The same Tom Hicks who is paying $25 million a season to Alex Rodriguez, a contract that is one of the main reasons that the players and owners are at each others throats? Great choice of words, Tom. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
