Favorite Simpson's quote

[Guest Crazy Dan]

I also enjoyed this topic on the old board as well.  Please post your favorite quotes from the rest of the Simpsons.

 

One of my favorites is:

 

Lisa: You know mom has doen so much for us, I think we could all stand to make some sacrafices, so I will give up Malibu Stacy clothing

 

Bart: And I will take up smoking and give that up.

 

Homer:  Good for you son, quiting smoking will be the hardest thing you ever will do, here's a dollar.

 

Lisa: But Dad, he didn't do anything

 

Homer:  Didn't he Lisa?  Didn't he?

[Guest redbaron51]

Like i said before, too many good simpson quotes.

 

but Barts prank calls on Moe are the best.

[Guest DragonflyKid]

I'm a Ralph Wiggum mark so here some of his-

 

Ralph: Mrs. Krabapple and principle Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.

 

Miss Hover: Now,take out your red crayons.

Ralph: Miss Hover.

Miss Hover: Yes Ralph.

Ralph: I don't have a red crayon.

Miss Hover: Why not?

Ralph: I ate it.

[Guest Army Eye]

This exchange just kills me every time:

 

 

Old man: Take this doll, but beware; it carries a terrible curse.

Homer: Oooh, that's bad.

Old man: But it comes with a free serving of frogurt!

Homer: That's good!

Old man: The frogurt is also cursed.

Homer: That's bad.

Old man: But it comes with your choice of toppings!

Homer: That's good!

Old man: The toppings contain potassium benzoate...

Homer: ... (blank look)

Old man: That's bad.

Homer: Can I go now?

[Guest AaronRock70]

Kent Brockman: "Thanks to New Springfield, we're all taking golden showers!"

 

That, of course, is from the area code episode. Which also contained this gem (goes in the other thread probably but I'll put it here)

 

Homer: "Badger my ass it's probably Milhouse"

[Guest TUS_02]

Like everyone else... too many episodes, too many seasons... too many quotes... but one that always sticks to mind is during the episode where they get snowed in the school and Skinner sends out the hampster because he's tied in a dodge ball sack.....

 

....Anyway, Homer and Ned save the day by knocking over a silo of salt on the snow... Skinner is still tied in the sack and meets up with the hampster...

 

Skinner: (Hampster name)... you did it!!  Now chew through my ball sack and let me out!  (or close to it... the hampster gives a scared look and runs away)

 

Continuing on that episode... Chalmers shows up and goes... "SKINNNNNNNER!  There'd better be a good explaination for this!"     Bart, letting his concious get to him, says with his head down, "There is sir..."  then Chalmers says good, and rides off.

[Guest Some Guy]

Ralph, "My cat's breath smells like cat food."

That line cracked me up for some reason.

[Guest KOR420]

Ralph:"I broke my wookie"

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

"I'm sorry Bart you van end them off to die on some godforskaed rock but for some reason you can't hit them, now apoligize to that boy"-grandpa simpson

[Guest joshicho]

not so much of a quote but when Flanders was singing "Que Sera Sera" it cracked me up.

[Guest O.J. Hart]

Ralph: "That's my sandbox. My daddy won't let me go in the deep end because that's where I saw the leprachaun. He told me to burn things."

[Guest hardyz1]

Director:  Bart Simpson, you are our new Fallout Boy!  That's what I would be saying if you weren't two inches too short. Next!

 

Lisa:  Wow, Barney, you made a movie?

Barney:  I made a movie??

[Guest Shaved Bear]

i dont have one particular quote, as everytime i read or hear a quote it just seems really funny

 

the following comes to mind now:

Homer (to comic book guy):Hello sir, Im Shaquille O'Neal, May I go in

 

Comic Book Guy: (pulls off coat concealing Bart and Milhouse) You two are not welcome...(to homer) Thanks for the tip-off (gives him money)

[Guest bdolo]

A episode not long ago when homer builds a rocket with his friends from college( you know the geeky smart ones)

Anyways the rocket ends up blowing up the church and the following is said

 

Marge:  Homer that is the worst thing you have ever done

 

Homer:  Marge, you have said that so many times it has lost its meaning

[Guest converge241]

When lisa cheats on the test:

 

"lets give a big hand for the comptroller! the real comptroller"

 

When Homer goes to the homecoming and they collect mony

" Proffessor Rocco, Chancelour Knouckles...."

 

I dont remember what episode but from Ralph Wiggum:

"Hi Super-nintendo Chaumers"

[Guest eux4life]

the super-nintendo chalmers one is from the same episode as when lisa cheats, you mentioned it earlire in your post.  

 

there arew way too many good quotes to narrow them down.  all my friends hate watching the simpsons with me because i can go line for line with so many of the episodes, they just get sick of me saying all the jokes before they do on the episode.

 

some of my favs:

 

Homer: "To alchohol.  the cause of, and solution to, all of lifes problems."

 

 

the y2k episode when everything is going crazy

 

Lisa:Look at the wonders of your computer world now.

Homer:Wonders lisa, or blunders?

Lisa:I think that was implied.

Homer:Implied lisa, or implode.

Lisa groans

 

 

Bill Clinton: You've taught the people of america a very important lesson lisa, if you don't get something you want, just complain until you get your way.

Marge: That's a pretty louse message

Clinton:Hey, i'm a pretty lousy president

[Guest The Electrifyer]

Whatever Ralph says is usually funny. His one-liners are the best. Just him saying "Super Nintendo Chalmers" was enough to crack me up for ages.

[Guest Shaved Bear]

the y2k episode when everything is going crazy

 

Lisa:Look at the wonders of your computer world now.

Homer:Wonders lisa, or blunders?

Lisa:I think that was implied.

Homer:Implied lisa, or implode.

Lisa groans

 

I remember driving my friends crazy with that one

[Guest Just call me Dan]

I have to paraphrase mine as well...

 

Homer: Its a good thing I'm never unable to go to work, because this family wouldn't be asble to survive if I were ever injured

*picks up his hot dog and slowly brings it to his mouth, but misses and hits himself in the eye*

Homer: (screams in agony)

 

And..

Homer: Bart, women are like a beer.  You'll step over your own mother to get one.  And then you have another one...

1 hour later...

Homer: So I says.....Come and look for the money cuz I don't got it ya balogna....  *passes out*