Campus Trial Pack

[Guest Incandenza]

The following is a list of contents contained in the Campus Trial Pack, courtesy of 360 Youth, Inc. and The Tuxedo, starring Jackie Chan and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Coming this fall from Dreamworks Pictures.

 

If you don't know what a campus trial pack is, it's a box of various sundry items that are essential to the average college student's life. They are handed out when you buy your text books for the semester. Here's what I have received:

 

* 1 envelope containing order forms for dermatalogist approved Proactiv (sic) Solution, 1-800-Contacts, and a list of various magazine subscriptions (Playboy is 75% off!). The envelope itself has a 10% off coupon for your next purchase at Home Depot.

 

* 1 trial size stick of Old Spice High Endurance Red Zone (what a long name) underarm deodorant, with "Pure Sport" aroma.

 

* 1 Trojan-brand premium latex condom w/spermicidal lubricant (no size specified).

 

* 1 sample size pack of Mint Skittles.

 

* 1 package containing both two capsules of NyQuil and two capsules of DayQuil

 

* 1 key ring, brought to you by AT&T.

 

* 2 pieces of Jolly Rancher Fruit Chews.

 

* 2 pills of Simply Sleep, a sleep aid brought to you by Tylenol.

 

* 1 cd-rom containing 1025 hours of AOL free (for 45 days).

 

Wow. Hopefully I'll find use for the condom before its expiration date of 2006.

[Guest kingkamala]

Those are truly the essentials (BTW you'll probably use the condom by at least 2004 )

[Guest Incandenza]

I can only hope.

[Guest The Electrifyer]

Skittles? Jolly Rancher? Condoms?! I can't wait till I get into Unversity/College!!

[Guest J*ingus]

Using a condom? In college? Please. I, a complete nerd who also happens to be fat and ugly, got laid within two months. It's fairly easy in the dorm atmosphere.

[Guest Sebastian_the_Bastard]

You just inspired me to go to college.

 

-Sebastian

[Guest the 1inch punch]

We dont have dorms in jolly old Ireland, i used my free condom as a water bomb

 

I would mind, but im not fat and ugly

[Guest Sandman9000]

And Jingus has just set the time table for me.

 

Being straight edge, however, I get to add two months. Rape doesn't count, unfortunately.

[Guest J*ingus]

Well, it did help that I kinda made friends with a woman who was then a quasi-nymphomaniac, but still, the point stands. Put ANY effort into it at all and you'll probably reap the rewards.

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

My school gives out shitty Lifestyles condoms.

[Guest TJH]

Man! A key ring!

[Guest Spaceman Spiff]

* 1 sample size pack of Mint Skittles.

 

* 2 pieces of Jolly Rancher Fruit Chews.

After a couple months of dorm food, you're going to wish you still had these hanging around.

[Guest Incandenza]

My school gives out shitty Lifestyles condoms.

HA! We get nothing but the best at UNF. Just ask Jay Bower.

 

EDIT: In all the years I've been going there, this is the first time they've handed out condoms in the trial pack. Yeah, there have been places around campus that have given away free condoms before, but this kinda took me by surprise.

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

They give out condoms in the trial packs here, but I wish they weren't fucking Lifestyles. They're free, but I'm the kind of guy that will pay for quality.

[Guest the 1inch punch]

Well, it did help that I kinda made friends with a woman who was then a quasi-nymphomaniac, but still, the point stands. Put ANY effort into it at all and you'll probably reap the rewards.

Actually i think its due to me and my girlfriend breaking up more than anything

[Guest evenflowDDT]

There are MINT Skittles now? WTF?

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

the health center at Ball State gives away free condoms. PROMISCUITY~! Oh man, college is full of sluts. You think people call 'em sorostitutes for nothin'?