A question for the Ages!

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

Read the following extremely carefully before answering; it may affect the way you look at the world from now on...

 

Hypothetical situation: One day you are walkin down the street, minding your own business, when all of a sudden a German Scientist walks up to you in a rush. He explains to you that he is on the run from the feds because he was involved in a secret project; that secret project? The worlds first and ONLY Flying Car. The government wants to use the flying car for military purposes and he doesn't want it to go into the wrong hands so he puts his faith in a stranger... That stranger is you.

 

He is willing to sign over the patent, the schematics, all of the video and archival documents, etc and the car itself, however, you must do one thing before he gives you all of this...

 

You must have your foot cut off.

 

Would you do it? Would you have your foot cut off for a flying car??

 

This is a question that has been bugging me for a while now. Everyone whom I ask it to says 'no' instantly, I call them crazy fools who don't know a good bargain if it bit them in the ass and they say they want to keep their foot. Only two people so far have said they would. I think there is something seriously wrong with todays society if a person is not willing to sacrifice a foot for the common good of the world (and especially themselves). So I am forced to pose this question beyond the realm of my neck-of-the-woods to you, the internet faithful, in hopes that maybe, just maybe, there could be some common sense in the world.

 

Remember, it's a flying car. A FLYING CAR.

 

(P.S. Yes I *did* rip this off of a Kevin Smith script, for those who are wondering - the question is still valid.)

[Guest J*ingus]

No.

 

If he's so desperate to get rid of it, there must be some catch involved here, above and beyond getting a piece of my anatomy hacked off. Otherwise, why wouldn't he just keep it?

[Guest DrTom]

I'm operating under the premise that what he's giving me is legit and on the up-and-up.

 

Yes, I would.

 

I would then license the patent to defense contractors and the auto industrues for enormous profits, and commission a goddamn bionic foot from MIT to replace the one I lost becoming the richest man in the world.

 

(I'm also moving this to General Chat.)

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

No. I enjoy walking more than I enjoy getting rides to somewhere.

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

YES DR. TOM KNOWS THE FUCKING SCORE~!

 

THANK YOU! I have asked this to teachers, to parents, to friends, to peers, to waitresses, to bosses, to bartenders, to strippers, to lil babies in a nursery... Ok, maybe not the babies. They just don't *get it*. You can buy a new foot afterwards and still have billions upon billions of dollars to spend for the rest of your life.

 

It's a flying car. Your name will be associated with Henry Ford and the Wright Bros. You will be remembered for all of history, you will change the way man looks at conventional transportation and just life in general.

 

Note: You have a lawyer look over the contract, it is perfectly legit.

- You have a foot cut off with hacksaw.

- No Anesthetic.

- But you get it AFTER the foot is cut off.

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

No. I enjoy walking more than I enjoy getting rides to somewhere.

 

LMAO!

[Guest J*ingus]

You've still failed to explain why the inventor would simply give the car away to a complete stranger, along with the billions of dollars it represents.

[Guest HBK16]

I'm operating under the premise that what he's giving me is legit and on the up-and-up.

 

Yes, I would.

 

I would then license the patent to defense contractors and the auto industrues for enormous profits, and commission a goddamn bionic foot from MIT to replace the one I lost becoming the richest man in the world.

 

(I'm also moving this to General Chat.)

I also agree. Your gonna be rich anyways. Just buy the best damn fake foot you can get your hands on.

[Guest Retro Rob]

I wouldn't. Let someone else invent the car, I wouldn't want to be bothered with all the hoopla surrounding it. Plus I like my foot.

[Guest The Electrifyer]

I like my foot. I say no. Besides, if the feds are going to chase the Scientist for the patents, then the feds are certainly gonna chase me for the patents. With no foot, I doubt I'll have a chance with the feds.

[Guest J*ingus]

That's my point. Obviously, this guy must be afraid for his life, or else he'd never give the car away. And why does he insist on having your foot hacked off? My guess is, he probably just wants you to be unable to run for when the men in dark suits catch up to you.

[Guest El Psycho Diablo]

Here's a thought. Pretty ruthless, but it fits me anyway.

 

Kill him.

 

If he's on the run from the feds, it's likely they won't care. Take everything you need, dissapear somewhere, and sell it to the highest bidder after the smoke clears.

[Guest crandamaniac]

Question that I have to ask is this. Where's the car? Is he in the car? Is the Car flying? Or is it Somewhere else? Does he cut off your foot, and then give you the car, or if it is someplace else will he show you it first?

 

 

If it's on the up and up, then yeah, take off my foot. Screw running and stuff, I got a flying car! Catch me now bitches!

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

Well Jingus, seeing as that you're pretty hung up on this "why does he give you the car?" thing, I guess I'll have to refer to the original post.

 

"The government wants to use the flying car for military purposes and he doesn't want it to go into the wrong hands so he puts his faith in a stranger... That stranger is you."

 

There ya go lil' fella. This isn't some evil Nazi scientist, he's a good man who doesn't want the Government to get the car. I think you're missing the point here entirely. It's not a question of where the car is coming from, it's a question of whether or not you'd get your foot cut off for it. Yes or No. It's not rocket science, just a weighing of the pros and cons.

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

Crandmaniac- You get your foot cut off in the lab, with the flying car hovering in the air next to you, just so you know it works. Your lawyer is by your side, holding the papers that give you ownership and whatnot.

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

Nope. No cutting off my feet. Go find someone else.

[Guest kane3212321]

Dante and Randall crack me up, this was a classic sketch.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Yeah, definitely, and I'd keep the car all to myself.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

No. I can't even drive a regular car, and how are you going to drive a car with only one foot anyway? There are TWO pedals...

 

Oh yea, plus all the intelligent reasons Jingus posted. If this guys on the run from the feds, I don't want to be. The feds kill people for stuff like this... I've seen "The X-Files", I know how it works!

[Guest MaxPower27]

Wait, which foot do they cut off? 'Cause if it's the right foot, we wouldn't be able to drive.

 

I dunno, no anesthetic? A hacksaw? Where are they doing this operation, Mexico?

[Guest LooseCannon]

There are quite a few things I'd probably be willing to cut my foot off for, some of them quite ephemeral in nature, however a flying car is not one of them.